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I do not own Vampire Academy.

That belongs to Richelle Mead.

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Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air?

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. He wasn't supposed to leave me. We were supposed to live happily ever after. He was my fairytale and now it's all crashing down around me. I am staring into his beautiful chestnut eyes, they are telling me sorry, all full of sorrow. I couldn't believe this was happening. Breathe… Just breathe. I can't though. It feels like there is something sitting on top of my chest pressing down on my lungs. The sorrow turns into worry and the worry turns into panic. I can hear him say my name in his angelic voice as I fall into darkness.

Dancing around in my underwear as the man of my dreams lies on the bed laughing at me. I can't help but feel giddy though. He just asked me to marry him.

"I'm getting married the morning…" I began to sing, but I couldn't remember the words. "Shit! I don't know the rest,"

He laughed even more as he reached up to me and pulled me down next to him. Everything was perfect, but then he slowly started to disappear.

"Where are you going Dimitri? Why are you fading away?"

He didn't answer me as his arms let go of me and then he was gone.

"Don't leave me,"

"NO!" I screamed jumping up. I guess I fell asleep or wait, I passed out. I looked around to see where I was and sure enough I was lying in Dimitri's bed while he was sitting on his couch. The clock was blinking 4 am. How long was I out for? I shook my head and walked over to the couch to wake up Dimitri.

"Come lay in bed with me," I whispered shaking him slightly. He nodded his head and followed me over to his bed, with the sheets around us; his placed his arm over my waist as I cuddled up to him.

"Don't leave me," I cried.

"Never," he mumbled into my hair as he fell back asleep. That was a lie though. He leaves in a week. One week and I won't see him for 3 long years. I mean sure he will come and visit, but it won't be the same. How can someone live that long without the love of there life? How can someone breathe without them? God only knows that I couldn't. My thoughts were taking over my mind and there was no way that I was going to fall back asleep.

I tried to be happy that I was lying in his arms, but as the time went by the thoughts in my mind made me sadder and sadder. I couldn't take this. I slowly made my way out from under him arm, getting up off the bed and walking down stairs. Opening the fridge I took out a soda and went to go sit at the breakfast bar. That's when the lights turned on.

"Rose? Sweetie? What are you doing up?" Olena, Dimitr's mother asked me as she walked into the kitchen. I shrugged my shoulders as I sipped on the Ginger Ale, hoping that it would sooth my stomach. I felt so nauseous. She seemed to understand that I really didn't want to talk about it and got what she came for and then left.

"Goodnight love," she said as she gave me a small hug heading out of the kitchen.

I don't know how long I sat their or what time it was even. I am guessing it had to have been awhile because the sun was coming up. Oh great… that means –

"ROSE!"

Yup, that means Vik was awake. The girl could never sleep in. I could swear to you that she was a robot and worked like clockwork. Once the sun starts coming up, she wakes up.

"You had us all worried yesterday when you just passed out like that," she stated as she rummaged through the fridge. "Dimitri had gone pale. It was a scary sight to see him the light skinned."

I laughed knowing what she meant. Her brother was known for being very tan. Let's just say that he really is one of those… Tall, Dark, and Handsome kind of guys. She smiled at my knowingly before leaving the kitchen. The one thing I love about the Belikov's they didn't push you when you didn't want to be pushed. Expect for my boyfriend that is… he will break me down until I give in. I started to cry. I am going to miss that about him. I am going to miss everything. Again, I started to feel as if I couldn't breathe. This wasn't good at all. There is no way I can go to school if I keep managing to have these panic attacks. It was like the time Mason died. I had developed an anxiety disorder. Also, it didn't help that I swore on my life that I could see his ghost. People had thought that I went mental for awhile.

"Roza,"

His voice was deepy and raspy. I could tell that he just woke up. It was full of worry also. Probably cause I am standing in the middle of his kitchen with a tear stained face. That could possibly have something to do with it.

"Morning baby," I managed to choke out before walking up to him giving him a kiss. I didn't want to talk about what happened yesterday. I didn't want to discuss what he told me. Besides I had to get to school pretty soon.

"We need to –

"I have to go Comrade. I need to get ready for school," interrupting him, giving him a kiss goodbye, walking out the door. I managed to make it to my car without him coming after me, but by the time I turned it on his was at the car door with a puppy look on his face. I just gave him a smile and mouthed sorry as I backed out of the drive away.

Driving home my mind was racing and so was my car. I think I reached 90 before I realized that maybe I should slow down. I kept thinking about yesterday though and I couldn't focus on anything. I didn't know if I could handle this.

"I am signed up for the military remember Rose," Dimtri said as he walked over to where I was sitting. "I leave in a week for boot camp,"

"When were you going to tell me? Right before you left? Were you even going to tell me at all?" I screamed getting up and walking out the door. I found the letter that had been about boot camp. He had been keeping it from me.

"I didn't want to upset you,"

I turned around ready to slap him across the face. "You didn't want to upset me? Really? Well, you failed at that. You are going to be gone for 3 months Dimitri. No contact what so ever except for letters. How are we going to do this? I don't think I can," I cried. He looked as if I actually had slapped him across the face.

"Are you breaking up with me?" he asked, his voice sounding as if someone had punched him in the gut.

"What? No. Yes. UGH! I don't know,"

I was getting really frustrated at this point. I didn't want to break up with him. I just didn't know if I could handle this. It wasn't even about that right now though. It was about him not telling me.

"A week. Damnit Dimitri," I began to cry hysterically at this point and before I knew it I passed out.

Vibrations pulled me out of my thoughts and I looked to see who was calling me. Lissa. I didn't feel like talking to anyone though. I looked through my phone though 22 messages. What the hell?

5 were from Christian.

- Rose! 2 wrds. Chocolate Donuts.

- Ansr ur phone man.

- Bitch

- Slut

-U OK?

I laughed. 15 were from Lissa.

-Rose where are you?

-Where are you?

-Rose?

-Rose?

-Answer me

-I'm worried

The rest of the texts were the same and then the missed phone calls. The last 2 messages were from Dimitri.

- Roza please come back so we can talk. I can't stand you mad at me babe.

Where are you? I'm worried. Lissa called me cause you didn't show up for school. Call me. XOXO.

I laughed again. XOXO? Really Dimitri? Looking at the time though I didn't realize how long I had been driving for it was 2:30 pm and…

"FUCK!" I screamed. I was out of gas. My car started to slow down and I sighed. Beep. Beep. My phone started to go off. I looked down. Low Battery.

"Great, just fucking fantastic,"

I got out of the car and started to walk back. Things couldn't get any worse I thought to myself and I probably shouldn't have because the next thing I knew it started to rain. Hard.

Walking was tiring me out. It didn't help that I was cold and it was raining or the fact that I didn't sleep at all the night before. I had walked about 5 miles before I ended up at home. It was dark out, but the lights inside my house were all on.

Five cars were in my drive away, my moms, my dad's, Lissa's, Dimitri's and Christian's. Great. Just what I needed a homecoming party. I rolled my eyes as I started to walk up the entry way, but I decided against it turning around as I began to walk away from my house I heard the door open and then I felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around me. "You had me worried. Where were you? I couldn't get a hold of you. I thought something bad happened," he sighed as he kissed my face all over.

That was my breaking point again and I pushed him off of me.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

That's when an audience appeared at my door.

"How do you think I am going to feel? When I can't talk to you days at a time? Wondering where you are and if you are all right? Wondering if you could be dead? Huh? Tell me! TELL ME THAT DIMITRI," I yelled as I ran into the house past him.

I could hear Lissa calling after me, Christian trying to calm down my dad who was yelling at Dimitri.

My mom had followed me though. She let me cry in her arms as she told me that everything was going to be all right. She told me that Dimitri and I were going to get through this. Part of me wanted to believe her, but the other part of me wanted to just tell her that she was wrong; that all this was just ruining my fairytale life.

Dimitri finally came in and my mom excused herself.

"Are you going to yell at me some more?" he asked and I shook my head no running over into his arms. I cried my heart out to him.

"I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay hear with me." I pleaded over and over again. My heart felt like it was breaking. I didn't care about the country at this point. I just didn't want the love of my life to leave me. I was selfish okay.

"I have to, but I will write to you all the time and when I am deployed. I will have my phone then. There are things called computers that we can talk over. I can come visit. Who knows? I could be in the states," he explained as he held me in his arms.

I didn't want to let go of him.

I just nodded my head and kissed him. I kissed him like there was going to be no tomorrow and in my mind there wasn't.