I was inspired by "Thank goodness for the Hulk!" by MoPerson on Archive Of Our Own. This is different, but same central themes. And I think Loki would know a few things about child-birth, since he's personally been through anyone is out of character, remember: Someone close to them is pushing out another person. I certainly wouldn't be acting the same in that situation. Hope you enjoy! Also, this isn't completely realistic, for the sake of length.
Just her luck. On the day Natasha had gone to the supermarket with her husband, Clint, Loki, and Bruce, some psycho just had to pull a knife on the cashier. Lovely. Oh, and she was also eight and three quarter months pregnant. Clint had gotten into a fighting stance, as Bruce's skin took on a greenish tinge. Clint looked over towards Loki. Since the world hadn't exactly forgotten what went down in New York, the god would shape-shift before going out in public. Today, he was shorter, with brown hair and eyes- nothing like his true form. "Take her to the back and make sure nothing happens, alright? Me and Bruce have it covered." He looked towards his wife. "Love you." Natasha smiled, before Loki took her hand and pulled her towards the rear of the store.
They stood, watching the Hulk wreak havoc while Clint tackled the robber to the ground. Natasha smirked. The robber, who was now wrestling with Clint, surged up, knocking the other off of him. Natasha cursed under her breath. The maniac ran for the doors. Clint had pursued him, but then the Hulk had smashed the beam holding the exits open, trapping them inside. Wonderful.
Loki, meanwhile, had tried to make conversation. "So, what are you going to name her?" He'd asked, gesturing to Natasha's swollen stomach.
"Why are you assuming it's gonna be a girl?" She and Clint had decided not to find out their baby's gender, and let it be a surprise.
Loki shrugged. "I just have a feeling." Clint made his way to the back.
"You okay?"He took Natasha's hand in his own. "Looks like we'll be here for a while." Clint jerked his head towards the front of the store. The Hulk was slowing down, and after a few minutes, an exhausted looking Bruce was standing in the middle of the wreckage. The scientist leaned against a wall for support, breathing heavily.
"Do you think he's alright?" Natasha decided to check, and released Clint's hand, making her way over to Bruce. The red-head was stopped by a sudden, sharp pain in her lower abdomen. Natasha clutched at her stomach, as Loki and Clint ran to her side. Bruce, seeing that something was wrong, started walking over.
Wait, why were her pants wet... Realization flashed through Natasha's mind. "Clint..." He looked worried.
"Is it.."
"Yep. You're gonna be a dad pretty soon." And they were stuck in the store, which wasn't one-hundred percent stable.
Clint voiced all their thoughts. "Aw, shit."
Loki, who hadn't spoken for a few minutes, took charge of the situation. "Lay down, and take your pants off."
Natasha snorted. "Thanks, but I think I'll take my chances."
The god gestured towards the wreckage that had once been the exit. "Well, we're not getting out of here anytime soon. I know what I'm doing."
"Are you sure about that?"
"I delivered an eight-legged horse, which came out of me, by myself. I may not have been in human form at the time, but I have experience."
"Fine." Her sweatpants were starting to get uncomfortable.
Clint laughed nervously. "Looks like The God Of Midwifery is gonna save the day."
Loki would have been offended, but considering the circumstances... He looked to Bruce. "See if the have any dish towels for sale here. And some bottled water. We're gonna need hand sanitizer, and grab some string too." The scientist nodded before running off. "Clint, put your jacket over her legs. You and Bruce don't need to see this." Clint obeyed.
Natasha gasped as another stab of pain hit her. Loki patted her knee, being strangely caring. "You'll be fine. I read a lot of books while I was imprisoned." He removed his coat, putting it under her. By that time, Bruce had returned, with four packets of towels, five bottles of water, a bottle of Germ-X, and a pack of string.
"Open those up, we'll need them later." Loki gestured at the towels. "Give her some water, you need to stay hydrated." Clint reached over, and grabbed a bottle of water, twisting off the cap. He slipped one arm under his wife, holding her up so she could take a drink. Bruce was fidgeting.
"Anything else?"
"I think we're set for the moment. Actually, no, I need your watch."
"Deep breathing, Natasha, alright? Clint, Bruce, just hold her hands and try to look encouraging. You also might need to prop her up later on." Loki looked at the watch on his wrist, borrowed from Bruce. "Do you feel another one coming on?" The god had remembered something about timing contractions from one of the books he'd read.
"Not right n- Oh, god!" She gritted her teeth. Clint squirmed, hating the sight of Natasha in pain.
Loki grabbed for the Germ-X, rubbing it over his hands. "It's time. Remember the deep breathing. Now, push!"
It seemed to go on for hours, Natasha nearly crying and cursing at Clint, crushing his and Bruce's hands in her own, with Loki telling her to push after every surge of pain. They could hear rescuers trying to get through the rubble, but the group was focused on the situation at hand.
"I can see the head now, you're doing great. Just one more time, push!" Natasha pushed, letting out a shriek as her baby was born. Clint beamed at her as their child's cries filled the air. Loki grabbed a towel, wiping the baby off before tying the cord off with a piece of string, and wrapping her in another towel.
"I told you I had a feeling." He said, placing the child on Natasha's chest. "You have a daughter."
The couple smiled down at their baby. She had light brown fuzz covering her head. "What do you want to name her?"
Natasha thought for a moment. "Chelsea. Chelsea Marie Barton."
Bruce and Loki watched the scene contentedly. Wait until Thor, Tony, and Steve heard about this...
At that moment, the rescuers made their way in. "Is everyone alright?"
Loki quirked an eyebrow. "Considering that a child just came into being on this floor, we're in pretty good shape."