I don't own iCarly. This is such a pAIN TO WRITE ALL THE TIME. I was on caps lock.
"Well, lean." Sam urges, shattering the awkward silence that hangs in the air. She's scooted closer to me and I've done the same. We're about a foot apart. She's propped up against the windowsill and I'm sitting on the steps on the fire escape with my knees drawn up to my chest.
It's late May and I've been out here since seven this morning. It took some doing, but I had finally convinced my mom to let me stay home from school, pretending to be sick with the flu. Of course, she had been her 'normal', concerned, overprotective self for a while. But she had left for First Aid training at three and planned to go out to dinner with some of her friends from the class afterwards. My mom has friends. I know. I nearly did a spit take when I heard that, too. I'd convinced her to leave me in the apartment so that she could have a break from taking care of me. So I was at home, alone, for five hours before I expected her back.
iCarly was on at 5:00 so I watched Sam and Carly try to film it without me. I felt sort of bad. They were obviously struggling and it was all my fault. Or Sam's fault, depending on how you looked at it. I was momentarily unavailable. They knew I wasn't sick. It's only temporary, I hope. I just have to wait for this whole 'never been kissed' crap to blow over. All thanks to Sam, who overheard me telling Carly I had never been kissed. She used it to get even, sorry, to win, by announcing it live on iCarly to millions of viewers. The teasing was relentless. I was so pathetic, even sixth graders laughed at me. They got a few photos, too. Ok, maybe more than a few. I'm just lucky nothing showed up on splash face.
Anyways, while I was watching iCarly, Sam postponed the meatball war in order to apologize to me in front of the whole world by saying she had never kissed anyone, either. I couldn't believe she had done that for me. Now I'm going to be totally honest with you. I have a little crush on Sam. Ok, maybe a big crush. So I'm in love with her. Don't judge, okay! Gosh! And it's not some weird obsession like I pretend to have with Carly. I really only do that to hide the fact that I've fallen head over heels for Sam. I guess I dug myself into a hole that was way too deep, though. I've supposedly had this crush on Carly ever since she moved here. Before Carly got here, I wasn't doing a great job at hiding the fact that I liked Sam. She was getting suspicious, so I figured pretending to be in love with Carly was the perfect opportunity to not only prove I didn't like her, but also to make her jealous.
But obviously, it backfired.
Bad.
I look up and meet her bright blue eyes. The warm evening breeze carries the smells of summer: barbeque smoke and honeysuckle, and it blows one of her golden-blonde curls out of place so that it hangs over her left eye. I smile and subconsciously reach up to brush it out of the way and back behind her ear. My hand brushes her face as I do this and her cheeks turn bright pink. Sam licks her lips and focuses her gaze downward at her sharpie-covered vans. I take a deep breath before leaning in to kiss the girl of my dreams. I mentally cross my fingers that I don't get caught up in the moment. This is supposed to be a just-to-get-it-over-with kiss, not a kiss-me-and-tell-me-you-love-me type of thing. But honestly, I don't know if I will be able to help myself. I really do love her.
We are inches apart and I see her swallow hard before nervously closing her eyes. My last thought before she turns my mind into mush at the touch of her lips is 'I don't think I've ever seen Sam nervous'. My stomach leaps into my throat as we kiss and I think my heart actually grows. I can seriously feel it swelling, trying to compensate for all of the love I have for the blonde headed demon sitting next to me. It isn't an intense kiss. It's short and sweet. Eight seconds, maybe? She pulls away slowly and her eyelids flutter open, revealing glazed over eyes as she stares out across the brightly lit Seattle skyline.
The moon is rising over the Space Needle and sets an otherworldly glow over the fire escape. It's silent for a few minutes. Not awkward. We both need silence. Time to think about what we've done. We had promised before hand to never tell Carly and to go back to being enemies once it was over. I don't know about Sam, but I don't think that's humanly possible. When she had kissed me, I had never felt that way. It was as if I we had been in our own secret universe where no one could bother us.
Not my overprotective mother with her ointments, health foods, and weekly tick baths.
Not my abusive father as he stormed drunkenly through the house before leaving my mother and I for good.
Not even Carly, our best friend, who would probably disapprove of this kiss if she ever heard about it.
I like that universe and I want to stay there forever, if possible. But I know I'll never be able to go back without Sam. It was our love that got me there. That got us both there. I gaze into her eyes and in that moment, we silently agree that neither one of us can ever go back to what we had been.
Everything had changed.
Sam picks up the bowl of meatballs and quietly sets it down on the step next to me before standing up to leave. As she's about to walk back into the hallway and out of the apartment for good, I lunge forward and catch her arm. Instead of pulling back or using the hold to flip me over the railing, she stops.
"What do we do now?" she asks softly, after sitting back down on the windowsill.
"Do we tell Carly?" I ask nervously.
"I don't think we should. You know how she can get."
"Yeah. So, are we, like," I stutter, trying to ask the question that I know we are both longing to know the answer to.
"A thing?" she finishes for me when I can't.
"Yeah." I say, looking down to hide my face. It must be bright red by now.
"Do you want us to be?" she asks slowly
"Do you?" I ask, avoiding her question.
"I asked you first." She complains kicking me lightly in the shin.
Sam looks up, and without a word stands up, wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me in for a kiss. I'm so surprised that at first, all I do is sit there like an idiot and let her kiss me. After a few seconds, I manage to kiss her back. This kiss is so much different from our first one. This kiss is not a just-to-get-it-over-with kiss. It's a kiss-me-and-tell-me-you-love-me kiss. And that's exactly what we did.
Review please?