The Karaoke Night of Deep, Unspeakable Peril
Summary- The Doctor and Rose just want a nice night of karaoke on an exotic planet. Who knew they'd be singing for their lives? Songfic. Possible Ten/Rose.
PG- Rating is for a bit of language, just to be on the safe side…
Disclaimer- Doctor Who isn't mine. Any songs used in this story aren't mine. This shallow excuse for a plot, well that's mine… Along with Rose's violet boots, but they aren't in my size.
Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr
Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr
Squish
"Oh bugger… Sorry 'bout that!"
Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr
Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr
Much pedestrian-squishing and Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr-ing later, the TARDIS materialized, 50's police box-style, upon the pavement. Red Converse landed lightly on the planet, closely followed by violet boots.
"Doctor, why do I have to wear these boots?"
"I told you twice already, Rose! Here, wearing the color purple shows respect for the sheep! Sheep are a major part of this planet's culture. In fact, they have a whole week, every two months, devoted entirely to sheep-worshiping! It's also interesting to note that when the sheep are shorn for their wool…"
"Why can't you wear them?" Rose cut in. "I mean, it's not really my color, I could have just put up my hair in a purple band…"
"Rassilon, Rose! Don't you listen to a word I say? If you're going to sing karaoke on this planet, and aren't interested in spending the next year of your life shearing sheep, you have to wear purple boots! It's tradition that a couple…"
"What?!" Rose exclaimed.
The Doctor turned an exotic shade of pink. "N-not like that. We're not a c-c-couple. You don't want to be a couple, right? I mean…"
"Forget it, Doctor… You're like a little kid asking a girl to dance. Just, uh, go on 'bout the whole purple thing, yeah?"
"Right! It's tradition that a couple… A couple of friends, without any sort of romance between them, wear the traditional colors of violet. The female partner wears boots, or socks, and the male wears the tie. And this silly head scarf. I personally, don't understand why a head scarf is so important, makes me look cross-eyed."
Rose smirked as she and the Doctor wandered into the karaoke bar, which seemed to be the most important building on the block. As they entered, the Doctor smiled cheekily and lead her over to the bar, where he ordered two fizzy red drinks.
"Cheers!" he cried, as he clinked glasses with Rose.
"What's this anyways? Looks like cherry pop," Rose questioned.
"A drink, special to this planet, made from the leaves of the Packelea plant. The leaves are shredded, drained, and blended with a combination of sugar, alcohol, and carbonated water."
"So what is it?"
"Alcoholic cherry pop."
Completely at random, both Time Lord and Companion alike sensed, to put it eloquently, a disturbance in the Force.
"Doctor, what's up?"
The Time Lord's eyes seemed to glaze over for a second before he muttered, "Oh bugger."
"What's that supposed to mean…" Rose was cut off by a suspicious rasp of metal, a feeling of deep, unspeakable peril, and a scent of pork-chops. "Doctor?"
"As it happens, purple is not a color with which one respects wooly mammals. Actually I'm thinking of the wrong galaxy… Here purple is a sign that you're… Oh. Right," the Doctor turned pink again and continued, a little quieter, "Purple means that you're a prisoner of war, sentenced to death…"
"WHAT?!?!?"
"In all fairness, I believe that's my catch-phrase."
"Doctor!"
"Not to worry, Rose. You see on this planet, you can be freed if you… Uh, sing. Dunno how 'Danny Boy' is gonna prove you're worthy of living but hey. At least we can still go to karaoke night. The stakes are just a wee bit higher."
"You think?"
The Doctor frowned for a minute and stared at his drink. "If this isn't the planet I thought it was, which is a bad sign 'cause I'm almost always right, then the Packelea plant doesn't grow here. Which means that the drink isn't what I thought is was, which is also a bad sign, very bad indeed, because you should never drink and be in dire peril. So….. It's probably not cherry-pop. But the guys here seem human, or at least humanoid, so their general physiology should be at least similar, so it's probably not anything deadly to us. It tastes," the Time Lord paused for breath and a second sip of his drink "like lemons. Oh! I get it! This planet has these brilliant red lemon-like fruits, so it's just lemonade! Wow, I feel a lot better now, knowing that I'm not in danger of keeling over from deadly cherry-pop. Or maybe I am. Maybe-"
"Quiet, prisoner of war who is sentenced to death unless they happen to be a talented singer in which case they may go free!"
A bit late, the Doctor and Rose turned to glance up at their captors. The Time Lord gave another cheeky smile and a little wave.
"Hello there! I'm the Doctor, this is Rose, we are actually not prisoners of war, though we would actually like a chance to sing…"
"Doctor, forget it," Rose interrupted quickly.
The randomly mysterious bad guy gave a deep sigh. He always got the loonies.
Just throw them onto the stage, have 'em sing a few bars, let 'em go, and head on home. Goddess of dairy products, why did I ever agree to work overtime…
Despite his bored, and relatively harmless nature, he managed to say gruffly "Up on the stage you two. Alli over there," he gestured to a young, dark-haired girl, "will accompany you on the piano should you need it. Any songs sung that are offensive to the Goddess of dairy products will result in your death. As will singing anything by the Vogons. As will-"
"I think we've got it," Rose muttered wearily.
TBC
Ooooooooooh! Lookie, lookie okey-day? I have a TBC label. I'm proudly pointing to it, if you can't tell. Anyways I'll get the next chapter up sometime, I've already started it… If anyone was wondering, Alli is a made-up character based on my sister.