TITLE: Void of Velrco

AUTHOR: Verb (You guys, I wrote something!)

RATING: Completely PG (or K, I'm still horrible at the rating system), unless being a fashion victim really upsets you.

CATEGORY: Humor, pure and simple.

SUMMARY: Does removing a mission patch make you magically invisible?

DISCLAIMER: Not mine! Also? Velcro isn't mine either - but it does make wearing shoes more enjoyable.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey everybody, long time no see! Thanks for sticking around and seeing what's new. This is my first SGA story, and of course that means I'm writing snarky McKay. I swear he occupies parts of my brain. This is a little silliness, because after re-watching Season 2, I asked myself, why did Sheppard's team always get captured, even when they claimed Atlantis had blown up? Enjoy – and feel free to drop me a review with some comments.

Void of Velcro

"You know, they probably weren't fooled by the missing mission patch."

Sheppard, who was inspecting their new prison-like digs for both escape potential and design integrity, swiveled in place to stare at McKay, momentarily confused. Not that that was anything new. "What?"

"Well, you know, " McKay gestured to his right shoulder, "we removed the patch that says that we're from Atlantis, but it's still . . . Atlantis shaped."

"How many times did they hit you with that knock out drug?"

"Not that many," McKay managed to argue and whine simultaneously. "But, you know, enough. That's not the point." He started to flail his hands around in random circles. "The point is, how can we claim to not be from the city of the Ancients when there's a void of Velcro on our uniforms that clearly indicates the opposite?"

"Right." John slapped his hands against the solid (damn it) metal bars of their cell and joined McKay on the dusty floor. "Because if the puddlejumper didn't tip them off, our choice of mission gear would have certainly alerted them to our superior Ancient technology."

"There's no need to be snippy."

"Wasn't being snippy."

"Were too."

"McKay."

"I mean, I'm offering valuable mission intel that could make difference between us returning from a mission with the Pegasus equivalent of chocolate and having to sacrificially kill Ford with ceremonial push pins-"

"McKay!"

"-and you're making jokes about my objectivity as a brilliant mind in the field of astrophysics." Rodney finished his thought with one last flourish, then dropped his hands in his lap. "We are going to get out of here, right?"

John pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his arms on the now dusty knees of his pants. "We are. Teyla will realize we were separated intentionally, and she'll contact Atlantis for backup. They're probably on the way to rescue us right now."

"That's good." Rodney nodded his head slowly, as if the action was taking all of his concentration. "That's very, very good. Because I'm starting to think I might be about to loose consciousness."

"Try not to damage too many brain cells on the way down," John suggested.

"Oh, hah." Rodney managed to grouse as he arranged himself on the floor, the jacket of his uniform under his head. "Just make sure no one tries to steal my brains."

"No problem," John promised. "Wouldn't want them to steal those sketches of the new Atlantis uniform you're got locked away in there."

John heard Rodney mumble something that sounded remarkably like "You're just jealous" just before the man dropped out of the land of the living. Enjoying the rare silence, John stripped off his own jacket and inspected the right shoulder of the black material. They had been getting captured an awful lot lately, but John had just been blaming it on Rodney's cheerfully and diplomatic nature. It was possible that he was right – the missing patch was still . . . Atlantis shaped. Shrugging and putting the jacket back on, he made a mental decision to talk to Elizabeth about it when they got back. He smirked at the unconscious scientist in the corner. And to make sure McKay was the one in charge of the first official Atlantis Uniform Fashion Symposium.

A/N:Thanks for reading! And feel free to leave me a note- reviews really are love!