Disclaimer: This is a fanfiction site… why would the queen of writing be on it? She could probably get millions of dollars (oh, right… she lives in the U.K. I mean pounds) publishing a Marauders oneshot. She's got better things to do than to write fanfiction. Only nerds do that… oh wait.
A/N: This takes place somewhere around the beginning of Harry's first year. I just thought of this scenario and couldn't resist writing it out. It's not the best thing ever, but there are a couple of good parts in my opinion. And obviously Snape wouldn't act like this, but I had to make it funny somehow!
"...Before we begin brewing actual potions, I have decided to educate you all on the supplies you are going to be utilizing. Pay close attention so you do not end up melting your own cauldrons," Harry could've sworn Professor Snape had given him a pointed look before continuing. "If you prove to me later on that you have not listened to these instructions and explanations, I will take ten points from your house for endangering your fellow students and a week of detention that will ensure you understand these rules. Understand?" Another look at Harry. The students nodded, paling slightly. "The first thing you need to understand is your cauldron, for that is where potion-making will take place. You are currently using a Standard 2 Size Pewter Cauldrons. There are many other types of cauldrons, which include brass, copper, and-"
Snap.
Crunch.
Gulp.
Professor Snape stopped abruptly and looked up, eyes filled with anger. Harry turned to his right and found Ron hiding a bar of chocolate behind his back. Snape's eyes narrowed at Ron. He stalked over to him, batlike robes billowing behind him.
"What, may I ask, do you think you are doing?" He asked dangerously. Ron swallowed.
"Eating, sir." He answered, his already pale face whitening.
"Why are you eating in my class?" Snape questioned, his hooked nose was nearly touching Ron, eyes ablaze with fury.
"I was late for lunch, sir." He replied, trying to sink back into his chair.
"What made you think that you are allowed to eat in my class?" Snape asked lowly.
"Well... Dunno, but..." Snape raised an eyebrow. "Chocolate?" Ron asked, snapping a large chunk off of the bar and holding it out to the Potions Master. Snape snatched the chocolate out of Ron's hand. He breathed in.
"That smells awful. You eat this stuff?" When Ron didn't answer, Snape took a step back. "Ten points from Gryffindor, for endangering your classmates. Detention tonight. Both of you." This time, Snape addressed Harry as well.
"What?! I didn't do anything!" Harry protested.
"Five points, Potter. For speaking out of turn." Was the reply. Snape turned on his heel, beginning to walk back to the front of the class. Harry went silent, but glared at Snape's back. When Snape turned around, he opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted.
"Professor?" It was Hermione Granger. Snape closed his mouth irritably and scowled at her. Hermione took this as her cue to continue. "Professor, if I'm correct, food has no effect on potions unless it is put into the potion, therefore, eating in class does not endanger anyone." She said. Professor Snape gave her a cold look.
"Five more points for Granger's know-it-all attitude. And talking out of turn. It doesn't seem that Gryffindor has much respect for rules, does it?" Snape responded, before resuming class.