"Name?"

"Harry Potter."

"Age?"

"Er, nine?"

"Is that a question or an answer?"

"Look, why are we doing this anyways? It's not like pretending I'm 11 again is going to solve anything, it's stupid!"

"Are you saying that a technique that has been tested and proven countless times, recommended by the best therapists in the world, and successfully used in many cases when there is thought to be no hope, is useless and stupid?"

"And what if I am?"

"Then you are useless and stupid."

"Grrr, fine. I'll do it. But only because I have nothing better to do."

"Whatever excuse floats your leaking boat Potter, can we continue?"

"…"

"I'll take that as a yes. We'll have to start over you know, since you found that your greatness can interrupt whenever you feel in the mood to."

"Whatever."

"Quit being so insolent. Now, your name?"

"Harry Potter."

"Age?"

"Nine."

"What are you doing?"

"Gardening."

"Please, elaborate?"

"I'm tending to the snapdragons that my Aunt bought, thinking that they would make the garden prettier and the neighbors envious."

"Please, more details. Use your senses, what do you smell? See? Hear? What are you thinking as you complete this task?"

"…Fine. I smell freshly churned dirt, I see the ugly little petals of the pansies and I can hear the buzzing of a bee near my head and a lawn mower a few yards over. Oversized gardening gloves chaff at my fingers and palms as I dig holes in the planter for the flowers. I wish I could take them off and use just my hands, but I can't. I'm not allowed to."

"Why aren't you allowed to?"

"…"

"Tell me Potter, or you'll be stuck here all night."

"My aunt doesn't like me using my hands, says that I'd get all sorts of diseases."

"How touching, she cares for your well being."

"Not really."

"And why do you say that Potter?"

"She doesn't say that for me, she just doesn't want me to make them all sick. She couldn't care less about my wellbeing."

"Oh?"

"Yes. You don't believe me?"

"It's hard to believe, Potter."

"Well, if this 'therapy' session is going to go anywhere, you might as well start. Or we could just end it here and I can go back to 'flaunting my fame', as you love to call it."

"That's what it is."

"How? All I'm doing is teaching!"

"Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Alright, I'm lost."

"A common condition in your case, Potter."

"Shut up, I'm trying to talk!"

"Oh no, Harry Potter wants to talk! When don't you?"

"…I bet every time you sneer a puppy dies, cruel bastard."

"We're off subject, Potter."

"And whose fault is that, Snape?"

"Yours, obviously."

"It is not!"

"Oh really?"

"Really!"

"Proof please."

"Grrr, this is why you never got a date when you were younger."

"How do you know that I never got a date?"

"It's a known fact, Snape."

"You mean a rumor? Dear Merlin, Potter, your grammar is atrocious. Can't even use the right word, I pity you. I truly do."

"You know what?"

"What, Potter? Do tell, I fear that I might wither and waste away if you fail to share your wise words of wisdom upon this sinner's soul."

"…I'm leaving."

"Good riddance."

"You can tell Albus-"

"Professor Dumbledore."

"-why I'm not coming back."

"With pleasure."

"Oh, and one more thing?"

"Yes, Potter? What whiny remark must you make now?"

"I love you."

"Beautiful, now ge-…what?"

My first new fic. *sighs in relief* got that over with finally...

Yeah, I know, It's not that great and all, since it's all dialogue. But as they say! Words speak better than words!

A very mild slash, heck, if you want, it can be no slash at all. Just delude yourself into thinking that Harry only said that to Sevvy 'cause he wanted to find something to startle the man who can't be startled, maybe in revenge. But for all you hopefuls, who did delude yourself in thinking that...guess what? HE MEANT IT! Muahahaha, oh that felt great. Crushing the dreams of you little straight Harry fans. Heehee.

~If you liked it and you know it click 'review'!~If you liked it and you know it click 'review'!~If you liked it and you know it, and you really wanna show it...~If you liked it and you know it click 'review'!~(sung to the tune of 'if you're happy and you know it')