DOCTOR WHO AND THE REDNECK

Doctor Who and the Redneck

NOTE: No I do not own any character from Doctor Who or any of the contraptions. But I believe I –can- lay claim to Breck Haines. She's my character, after all You might even say she's my alter-ego!

Chapter One

It was promising to be a lovely day in the Kiamichi Mountains of Oklahoma. The trees showed a bit of the fall colors to come but the fall chill hadn't made an appearance yet. Pastures still held green grasses for livestock and hunters for miles around were readying their rifles and shotguns for the coming season.

Yes, a lovely day. Too lovely to be spoiled by a huge stack of bills balancing precariously on an old kitchen table in a small cabin kitchen.

Breck yawned and stared out her window towards the back pasture. As usual her two horses, two mules, a cow and chickens were waiting patiently by the gate, waiting for their morning feed and fuss. And as usual, the day promised to be another few hours mucking out stalls, scattering bedding, milking, feeding, then walking over the back pastures checking up on the young steers she hoped would fetch a good price in the fall auction when they were grown and fattened up a bit.

All in all, not a bad day ahead. The sun was warm, the breezes cool, and there wasn't too much of a rush to get things done. Yet today Breck just couldn't seem to get motivated enough to move beyond her coffee cup and kitchen table. Perhaps the growing pile of bills in front of her had something to do with it. Not only the electric and power bills, but animal feed, straw and of course, the main concern, that of gas. She leaned back in a long stretch and froze there for a moment. One of her dogs, a shaggy brown mix, cocked his eye up at her, just in case such actions led to a romp. Breck looked down at him and smiled.

"Ain't you the lucky one, Reb.You don't have to worry about comin' up with the money to pay f'all this stuff. Course, if I –don't- pay for it, you ain't getting' no more food other than what you can catch yourself out in the fields." She dropped her hands down and shifted through the pile again. "At least I got a couple of weeks yet. All I need is one good buyer for them steers. Then that should take care of this mess, and mebbe even some extra to finish that fencing on the south side pasture. An' if I don't…" she sighed and dropped the pile. "Oh well. No sense in borrowin' trouble. Got enough of that as it is."

"Hey there Grits! Why don't you go out and do the mornin' work for me so I can lay around this time? Just this once?" Breck suggested. "You seen me do it enough times. Go on! Get it done!"

Slowly Grits, her other hound mix, got up, shook himself and wandered over to lean against her, hoping for a scratch. She chuckled and obliged. "You know when you got it good, don't ya, boy? Yep. You do."

She sighed, yawned again then stood up. "Well, this ain't exactly getting' anything done, is it? Might as well get it over with. Hmm, think I'll treat myself to dinner in town tonight! Yeah, think I deserve a break. It's only a couple of bucks. C'mon Grits! Hey Rebel! Dare! Let's go!"

Whistling for the rest of her dogs, terrier mixes to keep down the rats in the barn and the occasional snake, she stepped out of the back door, grabbing her hat off the old washing machine and slapping it on her head. Most of the men in town and around the area would say Breck Haines was a very pretty girl but that was one thing Breck was sure she wasn't. Pretty? Her? With her plain brown straight hair (usually tied back in a ponytail with stray strands floating about) brown eyes and slight build? Pretty? Her? A Plain Jane, to be sure.

But at least she was strong and able enough to try to keep her small ranch going. At 50 acres it was far from being the largest around but it was enough for her. It allowed her to be more or less independent and out in the open instead of working at some job in town such as waitressing. Not that there was anything wrong with such a job, she just preferred to be out in the country.

It took her the entire morning to tend to her stock, as she liked to spoil them a little with extra attention. Even the cow, Old Bossy, got some brushing and cleaning up afterwards. They repaid her with such devotion they were almost like oversized dogs, following her everywhere. As she worked with the stock, her dogs passed the time hunting around the barn and stable for whatever rats and vermin they could dig out. Dare,one of the terriers, managed to snare one and raced off across the pasture followed by Rebel and Grits hoping to snatch the prize away. Failing in that, they trotted off to see if they could scare up a rabbit or two. Suited Breck fine. Kept them out of her way and also made the rabbits wary of coming too close to her meager garden patch.

Breck walked back up to the house, wiping her brow with her arm and shaking the dust off her hat before setting it back down on the washer. It was old and battered but still serviceable. New hats were expensive and a bother to break in anyway. She got herself another cup of coffee and considered taking a thermos along with her as she went to the furthest section of her property to check on the fattening yearlings then thought better of it. She probably drank too much of the stuff as it was. Breck opened the coat closet in her small living room and chose a light .22 rifle to carry along on her trek, a just-in-case item. She grabbed her light jacket off the chair and retrieved the hat as she once more stepped out. As usual she was surrounded by her dogs, almost being tripped up as she made her way to the pasture gate.

Guys! Take it easy, will ya? Dayum, tryin' to make me break my neck and then who's gonna pay them bills, eh? What happened to yer rabbit hunt? Go kick a squirrel in the head, the bunch of ya!"

At the mention of the word 'squirrel' the pack immediately dove into the woods in search of the elusive rodents. Breck smiled at the carefree bunch and swung open the gate to pass through. A loud snort sounded almost in her ear as Taw, her Appaloosa gelding, greeted her. She gave his head an affectionate rub.

"You stay here and keep an eye on this bunch, Taw. I'm goin' out on foot. Mebbe I'll be the one ta snag a rabbit fer dinner! Be good now!"

Walking along the path in the warm sunshine just beginning to thin in the fall season, Breck felt her spirits beginning to lift. Sure it was difficult to keep things paid and herself on the meager ranch but so far she was doing it. And it was a lovely day to be walking about in the mountains of Oklahoma. The trees showed their colors against a bright blue sky and there was a slight smell of the cooler weather to come. Even the persimmon trees showed a promise of a good harvest. She reached up and tapped on as she walked under, just to check. Still too firm. Of course she wasn't going to even try tasting one. Biting into an unripe persimmon was a good way to make one's taste buds shrivel for the rest of the afternoon. But one good frost will soften them up and promised a luscious bounty of almost overwhelming sweetness. Breck loved making persimmon butter from the fruits, providing the opossums didn't get to them first. They also highly favored the fruits.

It took about a half hour of hiking to get to where the steers usually stayed. Breck could have saddled up one of her horses or mules for the trip but she liked to study the woods and pastures on foot, seeing what animals had been there and taking note of any deer sign for the coming hunting season. If she could bag a nice fat buck then at least she wouldn't have to worry too much about meat for the coming winter. There was some sign of their passing through and Breck added that to her mental hunting map.

She had just crouched down to sweep away some leaves from a large hoof print when she suddenly heard a noise she had never heard before. It seemed mechanical but with such a loud wheezing groaning overtone she froze in the position she was in, clutching her rifle. If it was one of those off-road bikes, it really had a problem. But then again, for something to be that loud it would have to be one flippin' huge off-roader, she thought. Then with a final groan and whump it stopped. No fading away, just stopped completely. Breck remained crouched down for a moment or two, running all the various machinery she had heard and worked over the years through her mind and failing completely to come up with a match of the noise she had heard. But the next sounds that filtered over gave her the energy to leap up and confront whatever the thing was.

The sounds of her yearlings steers running off and bawling in fear.

Breck hurried along, making sure her .22 was at the ready. Somebody had the gall to trespass in her pasture and attack her cattle! The very ones that carried her future payroll! There was no way on God's green earth she was ever going to allow that to happen! She may be a slight built cowgirl, but she was armed and had no qualms about using the weapon.

Walking as slowly and quietly as she could manage, she reached the edge of the pasture where the sounds had come from and that the steers had quickly vacated. She carefully stepped up to the fence and pushed a branch from in front so she could get a clear view.

She had expected to see some weird form of off-road vehicle and people milling about doing whatever trouble they came there to do. But instead all there was in the middle of the pasture was a tall blue box. She studied for a moment, frowning as she tried to fit it in any logical pattern. Pasture, weird noise, steers stampeded and….a blue box in the middle. No, it just didn't fit.

As she was trying to figure all of that out, a door opened on the blue box and a man stepped out. Breck gripped her rifle. Okay, this is more like it. This gave an explanation. The box was a shed and whatever was going on was going on inside that shed. How it got there was another puzzle as there wasn't a road to these acres good enough for a flatbed truck and it looked too heavy to be carried. But Breck would figure that out later. Right now the more pressing issue was the stranger in her field that had disturbed her yearlings. He didn't look like what she had expected a rustler to look but then again, why would a rustler or poacher dress up as people expect them to? This wasn't the movies, this was real.

Still, it would have been a good idea for the stranger to at least have on a good pair of jeans rather than the tan trousers he had. Cattle weren't the cleanest of creatures. Plus he had on a long green frock coat and….was that a vest? Was he trying to impress the steers or something? No hat and for heaven's sakes, plain leather shoes! Well, a few minutes wandering around a cattle field will take care of those quickly enough. Not to mention the fact they offered little protection if the man disturbed a rattler.

If Breck hadn't been so ticked off at the whole affair she would have burst out laughing. But no matter how the stranger looked, the fact remained that he was trespassing, his shed was in HER field and her cattle had been disturbed. No way was she going to stand for that.

She made her way slowly along the fence, keeping the man in view and noting every movement. He hadn't noticed her yet but she wasn't going to play her hand until she was completely sure of everything. After all, she had no idea if there were anyone else in that shed.

He didn't walk far from the blue shed, just a few feet, then he stood there. He took out what seemed to be a pocket watch from his vest and flipped it open. He looked down at it, frowning slightly and muttered something to himself. Breck noted that, for a rustler, he was rather handsome. His long wavy hair was a deep chestnut color (It reminded Breck of a lovely Morgan horse one of her neighbors had) and tumbled down past his coat collar. His face was long but with strong features. If Breck wasn't ready to shoot him, she might have been inclined to try to get to know him better.

The man seemed to have come to a decision and, after returning the watch to his vest, started walking. If he had chosen any direction other than the still-lowing steers, Breck may had let him go off and then gone up to the shed to see what was stored in there. But there were her cattle to protect. She stood up as high as her 5'4" frame would allow and stated 'Ok! Who the hell are ya?!"

The man stopped and whirled about to stare, rather startled at her. Yep, he really was rather nice-looking, Breck thought. Too bad he's some sort of criminal. "Oh! Hello there!"

Polite too. But that only meant he could be a con man as well. Breck wasn't going to fall for that. "Yeah, hi. What th'hell do you think yer doin'?"

The man looked a bit confused for some reason. "At the moment, young lady, I'm looking for someone."

Oh no, an accomplice! "Oh yeah? Who?" Breck stated back. She was starting to feel a bit nervous now. If there was more than one here, she could find herself in a lot of trouble. How she wished her dogs were here! They could easily even the odds a bit.

The man shook his head slightly. "You wouldn't know them. But perhaps you can help me, have you seen or heard anything strange or out of the ordinary here lately?"

"Yeah." Breck said flatly.

The stranger took on a hopeful and eager look."Where?"

"Here. You're jest about th' strangest most out of th' ord'nary I ever seen."

The hopeful and eager look quickly became deflated. "Ah. No. I meant…all right, other than me."

"Nope."

"Perhaps yesterday?"

"Huh uh."

"The day before?"

Breck shook her head.

There was a moment or two of awkward silence then the stranger gave her a small smile. "Not much of a conversation, is it?"

"I don't talk much with thieves and 'specially not with those who are tryin' to run the fat off my steers!"

"Steers?" The man looked around and noticed the bunch of cattle standing in the far corner of the pasture milling together fearfully. "Oh. Those. I'm sorry if my TARDIS frightened them but this seemed the best place to land."

"Land?" Breck twisted her mouth in puzzlement. 'Land' was what one did with either a boat or plane, but not a shed. How could a shed 'land'?

"Yes, land. I was looking for a place that was out of the way yet close to what I was hoping to find. Your field here seemed the best place." The man once again took out his watch and flipped it open.

This bit of news didn't serve to calm Breck. "Oh sure! Find a nice pasture that ain't one of the bigger spreads with all their security systems and take all the cattle from there, eh? Then you can take yer own sweet time stealin' steers what would have paid off a couple of bills and mebbe even allowed me to make jus' a few improvements on my place! Never mind tryin' to work on yer own. No. Jus' take what you want from somebody else and t'hell with them, right?"

"My dear girl, whatever are you shouting at me about?" The man looked over at her with a puzzled expression. "I assure you I have no interest in any of your cattle. What would I do with them anyway?"

Breck snorted. "Sell them. Butcher them and sell the meat and hide. What else would you do with them?" Did he really think she was stupid enough to believe his innocent look?

"Again, I am not about to do either. They were merely in the way."

The man turned away, still looking down at the watch intently. Breck was puzzled now. If he wasn't after her cattle, then what? There really wasn't much else of value in these mountains. Rugged and ancient, just about the only things that grew in this corner of Oklahoma were pine trees, rocks and grass.

Rocks. The rocks. Of course! Whatever that guy was holding and staring at, maybe it wasn't a watch after all. Could it be a metal detector?

Breck set her mouth in a thin line. This guy was looking for either oil or ore deposits! Mineral rights could still be claimed, even in this modern day and age. Well, not on her ranch if she could help it. One way to verify her thought. She raised her voice. "Hey!"

The man turned back to look at her.

"What are you after anyway?" she demanded.

The man paused as if pondering her question. It seemed simple enough but he looked like he was struggling to come up with a viable answer. Or a good lie. Breck was in no mood to accept either versions. He finally offered 'It will be a bit difficult to explain…."

I bet, Breck said to herself, then stiffened when the man, who seemed to have come to a decision, was striding towards her in a determined manner. She quickly held up a hand to stop him in his tracks. "Hold it right thar! That's close enough!"

"It is?" the stranger looked at the ground between him and her, seemingly to measure the 12 or more feet of distance. "I've always preferred a more face to face encounter when doing introductions."

Introductions?! Now if this wasn't a smooth character! Next thing you'll know, he'd want to be invited in for dinner! Breck quietly slipped the safety off on her rifle. Concealed behind a fence post, it seemed a good bet he was unaware she was armed. "You first." She said with a toss of her head.

"Very well. I am the Doctor. And you are?"

"Breck. Breck Haines." There didn't seem to be any harm in giving out her name. It wasn't like she had much in the bank or elsewhere after all. Plus at least it –was- a name, not like 'Doctor'.

The man who called himself that gave her a bright smile. It made his whole face look so open and friendly that Breck almost slipped the safety back on. Almost. Criminals came in all sorts of types and disguises. Don't fall for it, Breck, she told herself. Even if he does look like the handsomest thing south of the river!

"I am very pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Breck Haines." The man leaned forward, extending his hand in an offered shake.

Yeah, you just want me to get within grabbin' range, Breck thought. "Yeah, likewise." Oh how polite we are getting, in the middle of a cow pasture. Next thing he'll ask for tea or whatever. She tried to place his accent, perhaps English? It sure wasn't the country drawl that was used in these parts.

The Doctor dropped his hand with an air of slight disappointment and straightened up. "So, Breck. This is your field and those are your cattle, I take it?"

Getting back on the track of things gave Breck confidence. 'Yeah, and that's yer blue shed. Mind tellin' me just what in hell yer doing with that here?"

"'Shed'? That isn't a shed, that is my TARDIS."

Breck wasn't any more enlightened. "Ok. What's a TARDIS?"

"It's.." the Doctor paused then smiled again. "Come on over and I'll show you."

Yeah. Sure. Breck preferred keeping the fence between her and the stranger. "Heh. No thanks."

"Oh come, I'm not going to hurt you!" The Doctor started forward, his right hand once more held out. "Here, I'll help you over.,Ah!"

Before he took three steps, Breck had raised up her rifle in full view. She didn't say anything, allowing the firearm to speak for her. And it spoke volumes. The Doctor froze and held both hands up in a placating manner. "Now now Breck. That's not needed. I thought we were starting to become friends!"

"Well, this here's just one of my –other- friends. And she says yer close enough." Breck started walking sideways along the fence, keeping the barrel of the .22 still pointed at the stranger. She was going towards the thinner part of the fence where she could have a clearer chance to shoot or cut and run if need be.

Unfortunately as her attentions were all on the Doctor, she wasn't keeping an eye where she was putting her feet. There were several areas in that part of the mountain range where the silverish granite pushed up ridges through the thin soil like the backbone of a huge prehistoric creature. It crumbled into slabs of rock after a few centuries and was often the chosen hideaway of various animals. Breck stepped on one of the slabs and instantly a loud buzzing sounded near her boot as an irate rattler complained of being woken up. Almost instantly the slab shifted and Breck whirled her arms to keep her balance.

"Dammit!" she choked as she fought to keep upright and not fall anywhere near the snake, which would have most likely resulted in a bite. Suddenly she was grabbed and steadied by two strong hands on her arms and steered away. As she tried to regain her wits, she realized that her .22, her only assurance against that stranger, was now in his possession instead. Breck froze and tried to think what would be the next course of action if he decided to become violent.

The Doctor looked down at the rifle, made a wry face and after setting the safety, lightly tossed the weapon away. "We won't be needing that now, will we?"

"Uh..but…whu…" was all Breck could get out for the moment.

"I thought not. Now come on, I was starting to show you the TARDIS." He took her hand and led her over to a break in the fence. Breck's mind instantly found something to focus on. An open fence was one of the most undesireable things to happen in cattle country.

"My fence!!" she shouted. "You freakin' bastard! You broke through my fence!"

"Hm?" The Doctor looked back. "Oh, no. It wasn't me,that was already there."

Breck set her feet sharply in the ground and shook her hand free. "You creep! You broke through my fence, scared my cattle, took my rifle an'…." Her eyes fell on an odd shape partially hidden in the taller grasses. "What th' hell…"

Even the Doctor and his TARDIS (whatever that was) was forgotten as she made her way over to the object. As she drew nearer, the smell of death and decay reached her, along with the buzzing of hundreds of flies. She finally got close enough to make it out as the carcass of one of her steers. The unfortunate animal had been dead long enough for the body to become bloated but not enough to hide the cruel gashed and gapes in the hide. The stomach had been sliced open but no offal was seen through it. The jawbone and part of the throat was also missing along with the hooves.

Breck stood there, stared and gaped at the sight. Her mouth worked as she tried to come up with something that expressed her disgust and dismay. One of her prized steers laid there dead, that was one thing. One could get angry at losing one but it was the way it had been killed that struck her. No predator did that and why would any human kill it in such a manner, wasting all that meat and hide?

As she stammered and stuttered, the Doctor's voice came besides her, calm and steady as if he was reading a weather report.

"Interesting. It seems they were collecting specimens here. The blood was taken too. I wonder why?"

His voice broke the stunned spell Breck was under. She whirled about with her face darkened with fury.

YOU SON OF A ...!!" she shrieked as she swung her fist as hard as she could manage.

Taken by surprise, the Doctor caught the blow on the right side of his jaw and he dropped like a stone.