Hi! This is just a oneshot of Emily's thoughts and feelings during the Season Two flashback episode The First Secret.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.
I know that the events described are not exactly these in the episode, but these are the way that Emily perceives them and I just changed it up a little bit.
Emily's walking next to Ali, Spencer, Aria, and Hanna trailing close behind. She likes the security of the group- she finally feels like she has friends, finally feels like she has power.
"So what do you think, Em?" Ali interrupts her thoughts. Emily looks over at her friend- her perfect friend, with the perfect hair, eyes and smile. She feels a twinge in her gut that could be jealousy. Or something else. "Should Hanna go as cute Britney or bald Britney?" Ali continues, smiling over at them with a faraway look in her eyes.
Emily smiles slightly, wondering why Ali would even ask her anything. Does she really care about her opinion?
Not wanting to offend Hanna or Ali, Emily decides to go the diplomatic route. "If she wants to be cute Britney-" she starts, but Ali cuts her off.
"Aria?"
Emily pauses for a second, wondering if that was on purpose, and if it was, why she did it and if there was any special meaning to it.
Emily returns to the outside world just in time to hear Aria say, "Well it's not like she's going to shave her head." Emily joins in the chuckling and wonders if she would have gotten such a response.
She keeps on walking, wincing slightly as she hears Ali's derogatory remarks toward Spencer: "Are you going to recite the entire dictionary?" And then her snide comment towards Hanna, mocking her weight. Sometimes, Emily wishes that Ali would just stop. But she won't- it's in her nature. They all know that.
Emily's phone beeps, scaring her out of her thoughts. She digs around in her purse for it, feeling relief as she finds her phone somewhere between her wallet and a notebook.
"Ben?" Aria asks suggestively.
"Yep." Emily closes her phone. "He's all about me going as sexy cop for Halloween, but I'm thinking Indian girl." Emily's sick of Ben's standards- besides, he's not who she wants, is it?
She's slightly surprised when Noel Kahn pulls up beside them, a feels a small stab in her stomach as he begins to flirt with Alison. But then again, what boy doesn't flirt with Rosewood's golden girl?
And when he mentions that they're invited to his big Halloween bash, she can hardly stop from squealing. She feels like she's finally about to be popular- maybe then she'll be good enough for Alison DiLaurentis.
She stares adoringly at Ali, wondering how being friends with one girl can cause an entire social scene to revolve around her. But then she looks at Ali's carefree smile and golden locks that spill over her shoulder and it's not hard to know why.
"I'm a little embarrassed over how excited you girls are." Ali almost sniffs, and Emily feels her smile nearly slipping from her face. She tries to compose herself. "It's just a party." Alison finishes, with a slightly challenging look in her eye.
"It's not just a party!" Spencer counters, almost jumping up and down.
"It's the party!" Aria squeals, nearly crashing into Spencer.
"You're right." Alison smiles slightly, and Emily feels her heart flutter just a tiny bit. "And I'm happy we'll be there together." She grins at all of them. Emily swears she just saw Ali wink- but only at her. She must have been hallucinating.
They giggle and continue their walk. Alison loops her arm through Emily, and for the moment, she's just happy to be there with her best friends. And with Alison.
"We should all get ready together." Alison suggests fifteen minutes later as they arrive at that spooky house. Emily suppresses a shudder. She hates this house- it's an instinctive feeling, deeply rooted in her gut and her subconscious.
Emily sees a figure in the window and stops straight in her tracks. Her pulse beats loudly, her heart is hammering. "Hold up," she stutters. "I-I think there's somebody in there."
And there it is again- the curtain moves. Emily is so sure of what she saw, she would bet her entire life's savings on it.
"Are you trying to scare us?" Hanna asks, suspicious.
"No!" Emily tries desperately to convince her friends that she isn't- why would she do something like that? "There was someone in the window!"
"Kids go in there all the time around Halloween…" Spencer, always the voice of reason in a crisis, Emily thinks bitterly. "It's like a rite of passage in this town."
But Emily knows that the figure wasn't just some kid trying to prove his or her worth. She feels it, deep inside, with a terror so convincing, so real.
"I wish they'd just tear this place down already. It gives me the creeps."
Emily silently agrees.
She's walking in front of her house when she sees Toby in front a gigantic moving van.
"Are you moving?" She asks him.
"Dad got married again." Toby looks away. Emily pities him. She inquires about the basics. But one sentence about his new stepsister makes her start.
"She gets what she wants," Toby remarks bitterly. Just like Alison, Emily thinks. That's exactly like Alison.
She's only slightly pissed when she finds out what Ben has been telling everyone- it's not as if she minds, of course, and no one takes rumors seriously.
She wasn't counting on being cornered by the girls at lunch- she's slightly flattered when Aria wants to jump up and verbally beat him up.
"Em," Hanna gasps. "Omigod- is it true?"
She hadn't been planning on this, but hey, doesn't everyone lie? She doesn't answer. That's not a lie. They can assume if they want to.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Hanna gushes. She is spared from answering when Mona runs up to them.
"Hi you guys!" She says, cheerily. Happily. Emily wonders what she did to make them hate her- she doesn't join in the taunting, merely stares at her food.
"What's going on?" Alison asks, tossing her hair over her shoulder.
"Well," Emily pauses. She's not sure if she wants to feed Alison this lie. "Ben's been telling people we had sex."
"What?" Spencer asks, sitting down.
"And he's still breathing because?" Ali asks, obviously pissed. Emily's breath hitches. Could it be that she actually cares about Emily's reputation?
"It's true?" Emily says. It more of a question that a statement. None of the girls seem to pick up the doubt in her voice, though.
"I can't believe Emily lost her V before any one of us did." Hanna says, leaning over to grab some chips. By "any one of us," she means Alison, of course. And she's right. Who would have thought?
"What does that mean?" Emily can't help but be slightly offended.
"It just means that you're a prude." Hanna counters.
Emily looks away slightly when Ali snickers. "Shy on the streets, sexy in the sheets." Emily's cheeks grow red and she feels her heart madly flutter. She looks down, then up, then at Alison, who winks and grins. The other girls exchange uneasy glances. Emily's eyes flicks over to them. Could they know?
And when Alison says, "I knew there was something different about you," Emily feels her heart stop. Just a little.
"I know a doctor if you want to go on the pill," Alison says as they walk together. She taps Emily's shoulder lightly. Her skin tingles. "He'll see you without telling your mom." So Alison actually cares, Emily thinks to herself. She smiles.
"I don't need to go on the pill," Emily confesses. She knows Ali will keep her secrets.
"You can't be too careful, Emily," Alison peers through the slats of the creepy house, then looks away as if nothing happened. "I mean, Juno was a cute movie, but I wouldn't want to live it." Emily giggles slightly.
"It's not that," Emily confides, wondering whether Ali already knows. "I don't need to go on the pill because I'm not having sex."
"It was that bad?" Ali asks, eyebrows raised.
"No!" Emily giggles. "It didn't happen!" So there, the truth is out. "Ben and I made out, but I didn't give it up."
"Then why is he telling people he took the VIP tour to Neverland?" Emily blinks, confused. She realizes it's just another euphemism.
Emily shrugs. "I don't know." And she really doesn't. They continue walking. Alison occasionally bumps into Emily while they walk. She feels goose bumps come up every time that happens.
"What aren't you telling me?" Alison asks, searchingly. Emily's breath hitches for a second. Does she mean…? No, she can't know. Can she?
"It's no big deal," Emily waves the question off. "Eventually we'll do it," she reasons, but she's not even sure if that's true. "So people can think it now or they can think it later."
"I can't figure you out," Ali remarks with that typical Ali grin. Emily stares, confused. Ali bumps Emily to show she's kidding. Emily grins, relieved.
They continue walking. About three minutes later, Emily turns to Alison. "Can we just keep this between us?" She begs. She does not want the others to know about this- they'd just question her about why she lied in the first place. But Ali won't. Because Alison DiLaurentis knows about lying. "I don't want to keep having this conversation."
Alison brushes Emily's arm. "Sure." She smiles, and they continue walking.
Throughout the entire conversation, Emily can't shake the feeling they're being watched.
The next day at school, Spencer is obviously nervous. Emily pities her. She kind of understands the pressure put on her by her parents and Melissa, and she can't even begin to think about how nervous the poor girl is.
"Will you stop stressing?" Alison says, almost harshly. "I took care of it."
Emily's eyes search for answers in either face, but neither reveals anything.
"Took care of what?" Hanna asks the question Emily was just thinking.
Spencer and Alison share a look. "I helped her with her acceptance speech," Ali explains, but no one really believes her.
Aria comes trotting along, wearing one of her outfits again, when Emily notices that Spencer is guzzling coffee. "Easy on the coffee, Spence," she says, worried. Doesn't coffee stunt your growth or something? She thinks. "Your hands are shaking." And it's true.
"Are you kidding?" Aria scoffs. "Spencer bleed caffeine." Spencer raises a single eyebrow at Aria, who looks back with a challenging expression. Something between them seems to relax, and Spencer grins.
"You okay, sweetie?" Alison tilts her head.
"I'm fine!" Aria claims. Emily wonders how many secrets the others have.
"What's wrong, Aria?" Spencer asks, instantly worried.
"How's your mom?"
"Ali!" Aria's large, doelike eyes seem to reproach her friend. Secrets, Emily thinks to herself. Alison is the bank, and secrets are the currency.
They begin to walk down the hall when Alison shrieks. Emily starts, worried that someone is hurting her.
Lucas- or Hermy, as Alison calls him, mumbles an apology and bends down immediately to wipe up the drink he spilled on Alison's perfect outfit.
"Don't. Touch. Me." Alison's voice is full of venom.
"It-it was an accident."
Emily turns her head away. She really hates it when Alison mocks people like that, but it's not as if she can do anything about it.
"Come on, girls." Alison announces, and Emily follows the rest of them.
"Both what?" Hanna asks, wrinkling her brow in confusion.
"Parts, Hanna," Ali explains, exasperated. "He's half guy, half girl." Emily doubts this is true.
Emily looks back to see Lucas, staring at their backs with a venomous expression. She shivers.
"I am pleased to announce to you Spencer Hastings, your new class president!" The announcer guy says. The girls cheer, and Aria wraps her arms around a blushing Spencer. Ali smiles mysteriously.
They're getting ready in Spencer's room- Hanna as cute Britney, Aria as a witch, Spencer as some queen, Alison as Lady Gaga- Emily's stomach does a flip as she puts on her costume- and Emily as the Indian girl.
"Where's your costume?" Hanna asks Aria. Emily looks over and sees to her surprise that Aria hasn't gotten dressed with the rest of them.
"I didn't feel like going to a party." Aria explains. Emily wonders whether this has anything to do with her secret. "I wanted to see you guys all dressed up."
Emily smiles. Aria really can be sweet.
"What's this about, Aria?" Alison asks, turning away from applying her makeup. This confirms to Emily that it's about her secret.
"Oh my gosh, you guys." Spencer screams. Her voice sounds frantic.
"There's somebody out there!" Emily moves towards the window, spying what is truly one of the scariest masks she has ever seen. "He's watching us!"
The rest of the girls crowd around them. "Oh my god," Hanna says.
"Who is that?" Aria asks, horrified.
The girls move to let Ali through, who inspects the now empty yard behind them.
"I am so creeped out." Hanna says, inspecting her hair.
"Who ever it was, they're gone," Ali says. But she seems disturbed.
"Well, that was freaky." Hanna remarks.
"It's Halloween, Hanna." Ali leans against the window with a smirk on her face. "Don't you love a good scare?" She asks with a teasing smile.
The doorbell rings. All of them start and look around to see if the figure is still there.
"It's probably the pizza guy," Spencer says, a bit rushed.
"Hurry up before he leaves!" Ali scoffs.
"I-I don't want to go down alone," Spencer says, slightly staring at the floor. She sounds pitiful- not in a bad way, Emily thinks. Like a lost puppy.
"I'll come with you," Hanna says, and Emily quickly agrees. They march down the stairs.
Aria and Alison stay behind.
The party is loud. A bit too loud for Emily's taste, but whatever. Noel comes along with that breezy smile of his.
"Is the doctor in?" Alison asks teasingly.
"Actually, I'm a gynecologist." Noel winks.
"Ooh!" Alison giggles.
"Care to make an appointment?" Emily feels a stab of jealousy in her gut. "Hot chick," Noel says, pointing at Alison. Emily agrees. "Britney!" He says to Hanna. She nods. "Hot witch," he winks, and Aria blushes. "Hot Indian chick," he points at Emily. She can't help but feel flattered. "And…?" He asks Spencer. Emily doesn't blame him for being confused- even she was.
Spencer's explanation is interrupted by 'Just Dance' beginning.
"Come on guys, it my song!" Alison claps. "Let's hit the dance floor!"
They begin to move towards the dance floor, but something makes Emily stop straight in her tracks.
It's another Lady Gaga. She's dressed more revealingly, Emily's eyes trace her curves, and she blushes slightly.
"Another Lady Gaga?" Hanna asks incredulously. But it is.
Ali doesn't look happy.
Emily's dancing with Hanna, Spencer's dancing with Aria, and Ali is no where to be seen. However, it's not really a big deal- for any of them- so Emily decides just to have fun for a bit before she worries about her cr- friend.
A little while later, Emily's slow dancing with Ben. He's sweet, he really is- but he's also a bit of a prick.
Over Ben's shoulder, she sees that new girl, Jenna, dancing. Her eyes are immediately drawn to her curves, and Emily blushes slightly. She shouldn't be thinking like this.
The girl smiles at her, and Emily feels her stomach drop slightly. She looks away hurriedly.
Emily is torn out of her thoughts by Alison, who's whispering in her ear. Emily shivers unconsciously.
"Were you wishing you could taste her cherry chap stick?" Alison asks, but it's not cruel.
"W-what?" Emily asks. There's not way she could have seen where Emily's eyes were.
"Don't worry, Em. Your secret is safe with me." Ali smiles mysteriously.
Emily's sitting-alone- on a cold bench with a cup in her hand when Hanna walks up to her. "Hey." Hanna says, sitting. "Have you seen Ali?"
"Not lately," Emily retorts. And it's true. Alison seems to have vanished off the face of the earth.
Spencer comes a few seconds after Aria. "Okay," she says. "I used to think that I was born in the wrong century, but now that I've actually gone to the bathroom in this thing-"
Aria cuts her off. "Have you seen Ali?"
Spencer wrinkles her brow. "Last I saw her she was at the bonfire."
"You don't think she'd bail on us, do you?" Emily asks, worried. She has just stated her greatest fear aloud.
All of their phones ring at the same time, which is kind of strange, now that Emily thinks about it.
She flips her phone open. 'One New Text Message," the screen reads. She taps it.
"Oh, it's from Ali," Spencer says, sounding relieved.
"I'm in trouble, come alone." Aria reads. Emily's heart stops. Ali is in trouble?
They all look at the bonfire, willing Ali to appear there, but the only thing they see is that creepy baby-mask guy.
The woods are miserable.
"What's the address?" Aria asks.
"Three thirteen Mockingbird," Spencer responds. Emily stares in horror at the creepy house.
"This is a joke." Spencer says. "She's not in there."
"What if it's not a joke?" Emily asks.
The house looms, forbidden and threatening. It's truly frightening- Emily feels like she's going to faint.
Emily steps in front of the group, determined to find Ali. If she's in there, of course.
The house is dusty. And empty. And incredibly scary.
"This isn't funny anymore, Ali," Aria calls, her voice cracking.
"Alison!" Spencer calls.
There are footsteps behind them. Emily turns around, but there's no one there.
They continue through the house, down a long, winding hallway.
Emily pushes a door open, slowly, slowly-
To see a dead man hanging there.
She shrieks and jumps back, fighting back tears. The other push forward and discover it's only a suit hanging by a rope- but Emily is nearly hysterical.
They continue down the hall. Emily is desperately trying to calm her frayed nerves. Is Ali here or not? She wonders. If she's not, Emily might never be able to forgive her for this.
Emily tries another door, but it's locked. She's privately glad.
In the next room is a dollhouse. The dolls lie unused and unloved. Hanna stiffens next to her.
The house is empty, Emily thinks. Empty except for lace and those dolls and a suit.
They move towards a grand door in the middle of the hallway, Spencer cursing and trying to pry it open.
The door flies open suddenly to reveal Alison.
"Did you see him?" She asks, terrified.
"Who?"
Alison looks around. "Come in," she gasps. The girls hurry to her side.
"I don't know who it is," Alison explain desperately.
"Ali, what is going on?" Spencer demands.
"He grabbed me at the party," Alison says. "I tried to scream, but he's got a knife."
Emily's eyes are wide with horror. Why would anyone do this to Alison? "For real?"
"He said he brought me here to kill me." Ali's eyes swim with tears.
"I'm calling 911," Hanna chokes out.
"He locked me in a closet and when he opened it, I just freaked on him." Emily's in shock. "I've been hiding up here ever since." Ali's eyes are wide with terror.
"I'm not getting a signal," Hanna whines.
Emily looks through the keyhole. "There's no body out there!" She feels like crying.
"It's probably just someone trying to scare you!" Aria tries to comfort their hysterical friend.
"I am telling you, it's that guy that was watching us at Spencer's." Ali's voice is scared. Desperate, even. "He has the same costume!"
"No, we have to get out of here fast!" Spencer is panicking. That much is clear.
"I'm not going anywhere until we know that freak's gone!" Hanna yells.
"I called you from the hallway, I know I've got a signal there." Ali moves towards the now open door.
"Lock the door behind me."
"Ali, don't-" Aria says, but she insists.
"Do it."
"Ali, are you sure?" Emily won't let her. She won't even run that risk of losing her.
It's final. Emily turns the key in its lock. She can't help but wondering if she just killed her best friend.
Ali screams. Emily's stomach drops, her heart pounds in her throat- her pulse is rushing, her head reels. (A/N: What is this feeeeling fervid as a flaaaame, does it have a nameee? Anyways…) They rattle at the door to no avail.
"Ali!" Someone screams.
"It's jammed!" Spencer screams, hysterical.
Emily watches in horror through the keyhole as Ali is tossed around by that creepy figure in the mask. Her mouth is dry with horror.
"He has a knife," Emily whispers, horrified.
"Alison!" Emily cries, panting. Tears run down her cheeks. This can't be happening.
She knees the figure and runs off. Emily is sobbing hysterically, trying not to completely lose it.
"Ali," she whispers. Her head pounds.
The figure straightens up and stares straight at them. Emily screams.
The house is quiet- too quiet. The torn lace curtains flutter in the night breeze, moonlight coming in through the window.
"Emily, are you okay? Let's move!"
Emily's not okay. Emily's in shock. Tears are still coming out of her eyes, but she swallows her terror and runs after the other three.
Pausing for a moment, she picks up a stick. Maybe this will help them defend themselves.
"You guys, come on!" Spencer rattles at the house door.
Emily pushes the others out of the way and stands in the doorframe, stick in hand. "Ali?" She calls, hoping, praying to whoever might be listening that Alison DiLaurentis is not dead.
They hear the creaking of a chair. The girls whirl around.
It's Alison, sitting in the chair, holding a wicked blade in her hands and looking absolutely deranged.
Emily approaches her, staring at her with fear in her eyes.
"Look at you four," Alison grins manically. "You're scared to death." That is an understatement. "I totally got you."
Emily doesn't understand. Was that a joke?
"It was a hoax," Ali explains. "The zombie was Noel." Emily drops her stick with a clatter. "Happy Halloween," Alison smirks. Emily feels tears pricking her eyes.
Aria shakes her head.
Alison licks the knife. "Ketchup." She smirks again. "Want some, Hanna?" Hanna wipes away a tear.
"Guys. It was funny." Alison sounds bored, almost.
"We're not laughing," Spencer remarks in a dry voice, but it's clear that she's trying not to cry.
"You guys passed the test." Alison says.
"What test?"
"The way you guys came barging in here?" Yeah, Emily thinks. Because we were worried about you. "I know that if I'm ever in real trouble, I can count on you. You'll be there for me."
"Let's go!" Ali starts to walk towards the door. "We're missing a party!"
But Emily doesn't know if she still wants to go.
The party has not calmed down- it's college age kids now, and even Spencer's perfect older sister Melissa is here.
Ali's off flirting with Ian- Emily's really not surprised, even though she still is on the verge of tears.
Emily has officially zoned out.
"Don't be mad, okay?" Noel bounces up to them.
"I'm not. It was perfect!" Alison smiles. "The way you shoved me against that wall? Even I was scared."
"I'm not sure what you're talking about," Noel says, clearly confused.
"Noel. We know it was you, Alison told us." Aria says. Emily understands- Noel's playing along with the hoax, that's all.
"If somebody messed with you guys it wasn't me." Messed? Messed? Emily would be surprised if she can even sleep for the next month.
"My brother took the car. I've been stuck here all night."
Emily's mouth runs dry.
It wasn't Noel.
It.
Wasn't.
Noel.
Alison had been attacked.
For real.
"If you're lying to me-" Alison says with the usual confidence. It's obvious she's scared.
"I'm not."
"If it wasn't you-" Alison starts, but her phone rings. She checks it with a scared expression.
"Who is it?" Aria asks.
Ali smiles mysteriously.
"It's a secret."