Author's Note: This story will be AU but will still use things from the canon line such as Terms, Species, Location etc more or less. Beautiful Wish by Eri Kitamura is the song I listened to while writing this so I recommend ya'll to give her a try.
Beta reader: The Dirtying Spots of Chan
Prologue:Envied thoughts
(Flashback)
Ever since we first met I knew we were destined to be together. From the moment our eyes made contact I felt what some might call a "spark". I'm pretty sure you felt it too, and ever since that fateful day I wanted to meet you again, hold you, and love you the way I wanted you to love me. I know you felt the same way about me. But then I truly started to notice the way you looked at me. I wasn't like someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, not like the way I felt about you, but as an older sister who needs protecting all the time. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't I be the one worrying after you? After all, I am older than you.
People claim that we aren't meant for each other, that your heart belongs to her—it just makes mine ache. If it was any other girl, I would be confused, wondering what she has that I don't, but it wasn't anything like that. She was my friend. My bestfriend. And that's what so confusing. I began to see the way your eyes and hers meet and linger on one another. The same spark I thought I had with you seemed stronger in your eyes when you looked at her.
Doesn't she know I love you? Doesn't she know how much my heart and soul aches for you? I know that you are thinking this too, but when I see you two together, a bitter, hateful feeling overcomes me, a pang of jealousy eating away at my heart. But this feeling is not alone. A small, cruel voice whispers hurtful, mean things about her into my mind, and sadly, I readily listen, trying to find some imperfection in her flawless, graceful nature that would make Toshiro leave her. Sometimes I try to ignore it, I really do, but I find some comfort in it. It coaxes me into a world where Rukia is the center of my hatred, I gladly follow.
So when I hear that she's missing—no captured—I can guiltily admit that I am relieved. Am I worried? Yes, even though I've grown to unconsciously hate her, there's a place in my heart where I still have little—very, very little— care for her. Am I sad? Yes…perhaps. Am I relieved? ...Yes. Is it wrong for me to be happy that my rival is gone; that the girl I thought was my best friend has vanished off the face of the earth without leaving any trace or evidence behind? At least to me it isn't. And any trace that is existence I destroy with my blade's flames. Why? Because I know that I am responsible for her disappearance. Is it wrong for me to just betray my comrades, my team, my duties to a man who abandoned his? No, not all because I did it in the name of love. I know may sound cold-hearted and yet corny at the same time, but it is the truth.
Forgive me, please. I know what I did was wrong and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Now it'll just be us, I promise I won't let her or anyone else tears us apart.
To The Dirtying Spots of Chan for giving me the courage to do this. FOR THE HITSURUKI ARMY. WHOHOO!
Author's Note V.2: I have zero percent of a clue where I'm going with this but I'm hoping it'll be good. I don't expect a lot of reviews but prove me wrong. Please read, review and no flamer I'm pretty new to the romance thing so only helpful criticism please. The rest of the story will be in third P.O.V. Also Beta Reader, needed (Position already taken). Respond via, review or PM. Thank you!