This is my first time being an author and I'm far from perfect. Hope you all like it!
'I need you to stop…so I can kiss you.'
'Oh…'
'Stop!' Eliza pressed her lips against mine. I closed my eyes as I felt the presence of her softest lips. I had missed this. I had missed being kissed by a gorgeous woman who I truly cared about.
We pulled back with our eyes locked. Eliza was smiling. I could see the excitement in her beautiful green eyes. I couldn't believe I had just been kissed by Eliza, the Eliza Minnick! The one I had been thinking about all month.
'Thanks!' Eliza said it before I tried to say a word.
'For what?' I gave her a confusing look.
'For shutting up for me!' Eliza smirked.
'Well, I'd be very happy to do so if you needed me to.'
'I think I will need your favour quite often though. You sure you can oblige?'
I blushed and suddenly I didn't know how to answer. I looked at the pretty lady in front of me with my hands clung to her waist. I opened my mouth without saying anything. I looked at her again. She nodded slightly, expecting me to say something. But I didn't , I couldn't. Before I managed to speak a word, Eliza already said goodnight and gave me a kiss on my cheek. She released my arms and turned around to get her car. She left with disappointment clearly on her face because I hesitated. What had you done Arizona Robbins? Argh!
Standing in the parking lot and watching Eliza's car disappear, I was so mad at myself but, was I really the one to blame? I was afraid of making commitments again after all the dramas in the past few years. I had been so insecure after the love of my life left me. I didn't think I could trust anyone anymore. She had said she wouldn't leave me but she had eventually done. After what happened between us, I thought it would be best for me to rely on nobody but myself. Being independent would probably be the safest choice so I wouldn't hurt anyone and be hurt by anyone. Although I knew I did something very bad that hurt Callie so much, it wasn't the only reason of our divorce. There had been so much going on and I had tried to be strong and brave since Callie had left. I realised that I had been used to being on my own again. Even though somehow I always knew that I wanted to have someone again, someone that I could wake up to, share the evening with and simply talk about anything, I doubted that I'd ruin this budding romance again if I decided to take that further. I was scared that if I rushed things through, everything would be messed up again. After being on my own most of the time, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to have someone in my life again, especially when this person was so perfect.
I made it home. I was lying on my bed, going through what had just happened this evening. The disappointed Eliza popped up on my mind again. I couldn't estimate how much pain I'd caused for her. Of course I had feelings for her but I hadn't been confident anymore since the plane crash and everything I had been through. What I knew was that I had been attracted to this smart green-eyed woman since the day I met her. Eliza was too good for me. She was nice, smart and funny. These few months had been my happiest time since I became single again. I picked up my phone and wanted to text her. But what should I say? Anything I would say would just make things worse. Apologise? Explain? I didn't even know what I wanted. I was scared of making promises to her. I was scared that we wouldn't be happy. I didn't know if I was ready to start a new relationship or not because I didn't want to go through all the pain again. I wanted someone that I could actually rely on and spend the rest of my life with. But honestly I didn't know if Eliza would be the one. I decided to go to bed without sending a text to her.
My alarm went off. I was tired because I didn't sleep well last night. I couldn't stop thinking about Eliza and her gorgeous smile. I missed her. Since we got closed, we'd always talked on the phone before we went to bed when we were not on call in the hospital. Last night, I missed her voice. I checked my phone. No unread messages. I sighed. She didn't even text me but why would I expect her to? It was my fault. Anyway, I had to get to work in an hour. I did my morning routine, quickly brushed my teeth, got changed and put some makeup on.
I arrived at the hospital on time. I parked my car and saw Eliza's car already here at its usual space. This meant there was a very high chance that I would bump into her today. I'd missed her and I wanted to see her but what should I say to her? I didn't know what to do. I headed to my office and changed to my scrubs. Suddenly I heard a knock on the door.
'Come in.'
'Dr Robbins, have you got a minute? I need you for a consult.' Eliza said as she opened the door and came in.
'Um…sure, what is it?' I was surprised and hadn't expected to see Eliza this soon.
She talked me through her case of a 15-year-old girl diagnosed with spinal fracture in a professional way. So I did my job and seriously looked into her case. She wanted me to see her patient with her so I did. We walked along the hallways without saying a word. It was weird and very awkward. I kept searching for words to say but I failed. I couldn't even look at her.
'Thanks for the consult Dr Robbins.' She said as we walked out of the ward. 'I have students to see. I'll see you around.' She turned around without mentioning what had happened between us.
'You're welcome. Eliza.' I responded. I wanted to talk to her but maybe I shouldn't.
Throughout the whole day I knew she had tried to avoid me. I missed having her around. I missed having lunch with her. I missed being teased by her. Argh! I couldn't stand this anymore. I needed to talk with her even though I didn't know if it was a good time to speak. Should I take our relationship further? Or pretend nothing had happened last night and continue to play this game? Without being able to see Eliza was driving me crazy so I decided to page her to my office at the end of our shifts. Arizona Robbins, it was about time to confess.
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