"I did it!" Luan proclaimed as she stood in the House's foyer.
Indeed, a week of planning and two months worth of allowance had finally paid off. She grinned with her bucked braced teeth at the masterpiece she had crafted. The first floor was shrouded in toilet paper, discarded banana peels, a few dirt-laced tire tracks, countless triggered mousetraps, rotten food of all sorts, spots of mud, ink, vomit, and blood (but she dismissed that as "only a little"), and several of her fellow family members plopped down on the ground.
She felt victorious, though. Amidst the mixture of rancid smells and stirring noises, she was proud. And to think that two minutes was all it took for this intricate web of pranks to go off all at once. The comedianne burst into laughter, the pompous sound ringing above everything else.
"Maybe next year, I'll do two weeks of planning and four months of allowance!"
But the celebration didn't last long. In the corner of her eye, she saw her father stumble to his feet. He was huffing and his eyes glared at the chuckling perpetrator. Once up, he thrust his sore legs across the living room.
"Luan Marie Loud!" he exclaimed, burning at his weak throat. The girl, though, continued laughing obnoxiously. While he usually enjoyed the lisp-touched chuckles from his fourth daughter, at that moment they were sinister, disrespectful taunts towards himself and the entire family. Simply unacceptable.
"Luan!"
She stopped laughing, however her bright eyes weren't shaken by the angry authority approaching her. Rather, she continued smiling as he came within inches of her.
"What is the meaning of all this?" he demanded, his eyes ablaze, brows furrowed, and cheeks tense. His arms shot to the disaster zone that Luan took so much pride in.
Luan, though, continued chuckling.
"Perhaps you simply don't get it," the twelve-year-old said slyly, getting lost in her own sense of humor, "It's April Fools Day and whe-"
"That gives you no excuse to terrorize the House!" Lynn Sr. shot back, getting even angrier at his daughter's smart-alleck attitude. When her face remained unchanged, the father became emboldened to continue, "Just look at what you've done! It's gonna take hours to clean this mess," he used his stretched arms to swivel around, trying to emphasize the size and scope of the damage.
His focus then turned to his wife, who was propped up against the couch. Her face was scrunched and her entire body was cramping. But what incensed Lynn Sr the most was the large bulge that had been on his wife's belly for numerous months. The horrible nightmares of 'what if' infuriated him.
"Look at your mother!" he exclaimed pointing to her, "she's seven months pregnant! Your prank pulling could have really hurt the baby!"
By then, Luan was no longer smiling. The thought of causing injury to an unborn sister (or worse) was pretty disturbing and far from funny. Regardless, her father continued.
"And none of us are happy right now! You are twelve years old, Luan! You have six younger siblings and a seventh on the way! You should know better!"
If there was a record for the quickest emotional 180, it was broken right there. In the span of several scathing sentences, Luan was brought to her knees, regretting all the energy she spent on harm and all the laughter that acted as salt on the wound. What type of sister was she?
Looking around, everything her father was espousing was absolutely true. The downstairs was a disaster area. In addition to her parents, the twins and Lynn were sprawled across this floor, defeated from what had transpired. And the upstairs fared little better. The rest of her siblings were in similar pain and misery. It was now that her heart was being mangled like a finger in a mouse trap.
"Thank goodness that nobody has to go to the hospital. But this behavior is unacceptable, young lady!" he said sharply, "You are grounded for a month."
Just like that, shame was overwhelming her. Her head grew heavy and it fell to the floor, her dim eyes blankly directed at the floor.
"You are to clean up this mess at once! And then, your mother and I will be discussing this further!"
The punishment. Even when aware of the mounting guilt, the true weight was still surprising her as more of it was added on. She sadly looked up at her stern father waiting for a response, but she was too deflated to make any verbal acknowledgement. Luan trudged to the linen closet and pulled out a broom, dustpan, and vacuum. With all three instruments in hand, she dragged herself into the living room. It was from there that she came within arms-length of her mother.
"Here Mom, let me help you up," Luan said, offering one of her arms. Rather than smile at her warm voice, Rita simply took the offer. With their hands locked, Luan pulled with all her strength to lift her mother off the carpet, embarrassed by her lack of upper body strength. Thankfully, Rita press's her free hand against the couch cushion to prop herself up.
Eventually, the grown woman staggered onto her own two feet. She pressed her hand on her belly in an effort to nurse the incubated fetus, her Lily. Luan looked on as her mother tended to the "youngest" Loud, merely standing there in anticipation for some sort of response (whether it's gratitude or reprimand). After a solid twenty seconds of nurturing, Rita gazed up at her fourth daughter.
"Thank you Luan," she said flatly.
That was it. No smile, no joy, nothing. Luan figured it made sense, given how the woman was pelted by a log catapult. But Rita tended to be the more reassuring parent, the one that tended to be supportive of her children even when times were rough. That's how Luan was reminded that the joke was purely one-sided. So much for April Fools.
Before Luan could say anything, Rita nudged her arm across the air, signaling her to step aside. As she obliged, Luan glued her eyes to her mother stumbling across the room to meet her concerned husband. Given the woman's slow movement, Lynn Sr. opted to use whatever movement his own legs allowed him to insure that they met halfway. Rita leaned against her husband while he examined the baby bump, checking to make sure it was unharmed. Meanwhile, Luan stood there, horrified at how pathetic her pranks had reduced her strong, vibrant parents to.
These thoughts carried with her as she started sweeping much of the debris and residue. Each grain of dirt and stain on the furniture served as a painful reminder of the horror she had committed.
"What was I even thinking anyway?"
It all traced back to a month earlier. The comedianne had always observed April Fools Day, however in years past she had been limited by her own childish ambitions. Her pranks and jokes mainly consisted of tacky, cheap antics that she figured anyone could have pulled off. But it was in their simplicity that made them so endearing. Indeed, everyone in the House had laughed at the little gags she pulled, like hiding the remote or switching Lori's and Lola's makeup gear. But now that she was in Junior High, she was met by spurts of creativity and peer pressure. While her mind was rapidly changing, she had started to hear from her other jokester friends about all of their wacky exploits (Rube Goldberg machines, mud, invisible ink, all those big expensive items from the joke shop). It was from these stories that inspired her to up her game. And what better occasion to do that than April Fools Day.
She thought that if she really went out of her way for this year, then the fun and excitement would exponentially expand. And during the ride, that's exactly how she felt. But none of this was fun anymore, and each trade of her destruction only added to this guilt. As she swept more of the living room, she noticed that all the "victims" had left, leaving her to pick up the pieces alone.
At one point while cleaning the kitchen, she heard her parents from within their bedroom. Some of the noise came from their gasps and winches (probably from the gum and punchers they had to rip off from each other), but there was also conversation. Luan figured they were talking about her and how to deal with her "problem", but she wasn't in the mood to listen to them. She didn't deserve to have advance notice of what was coming. And with that, she proceeded to sweep up broken glass, trying to ensure that the sad scraping sound they made would tune out whatever was being said. When that didn't work, she turned on the vacuum. That did the trick.
After dumping all the remnants in the trash, Luan made the long haul upstairs. As she ascended each step, she dreaded the mess that had just a day ago looked so brilliant on her blue grid paper. But what those designs lacked were the humans, her own family. They lacked the stench that a twelve-pack of stink bombs and six rotten pies would produced. They lacked the gooey stains left all over the walls and floors. And they lacked the weak moans that would filter through the war zone. It was these that made every fiber in her being tremble.
Upon reaching the top of the stairs, she noticed that her bedroom door was open. Naturally, that seemed like a good place to start. Besides, she figured that her roommate Luna would definitely appreciate it.
As she approached the area, she heard rustling both of hard objects and soft fabric, confusing the girl. Once she stood before the doorway, she thought her heart would freeze right there. A big open garbage bag full of trash rested against one of the walls while a broom was resting on the floor. The room was much cleaner than the plan made it out to be (granted there was still somewhat of a mess left over). And standing on the bunk bed's ladder was Leni holding a dustpan. The older sister's feet were one with the wooden ring, however her upper body was slow, mechanically, and shaky even. Luan watched her sweep up several crumbs and bits from the top bed until she couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Leni," she said.
The blonde flinched. She clumsily dropped the dustpan over the protector and it flopped to the ground, much of the residue falling with it. Luan, already feeling bad, came forward to try to retrieve it.
"Sorry," Leni said with her weak throat. She also tried getting down to get the fallen dustpan.
Unfortunately, it was Luan who reached it first as she knelt down and tried sweeping up the fallen particles from the carpet with her fingers. Some of them were hard to retrieve, given how tangled some of the fibers were. It made the comedianne wonder how her sister was able to clean this carpet without a vacuum.
"You don't, like, have to do that," she heard Leni said, although her voice cracked at the end. It was only then that Luan looked up and saw her older sister's face. The dried tear streams were highlighted on her tinted red cheeks. And her eyes were clearly bloodshot, filled with fear and obligation. As Luan expected, this proved to be much more difficult than the first floor.
"But I'm the one who made this mess," Luan said as she continued to parse for missing pieces, "I haven't done a thing to earn your help."
A brief pause as Leni shuffled her hands together and looked down at your sister.
"I forgive you."
Luan stopped and jerked her head to her forlorn sister.
"In fact," Leni said softly, "I'm sorry I didn't laugh."
Leni then forced out a series of broken, worrying, cough-like "chuckles", each one distressing Luan more and more. Eventually, the comedianne lifted her hand upward.
"No, don't do that," Luan said remorseful. And like that, the 'laughter' faded away, "I made a big mistake and I know none of you are happy. You don't have to laugh just because I thought this was all gonna be funny. You don't have to help me or be all nice to me," she then found it in her to look straight into those watery, pain-tinged eyes, "Let it out! Be mad at me! Don't forgive! I have wronged you and you have every right to ignore me or be rude to me or anything other than this," she exclaimed as she recollected all the horrible pranks setting off at once. Feeling drained, the comedianne sighed, "Just give me what I truly deserve."
She then heard some creaking against the floor and witnessed Leni kneeling down to start picking up more pieces. Luan looked on at how efficiently her big sister was picking through the individual carpet strands.
"It's okay Luan. I don't feel like being mad," she said, her eyes directed at the carpet rather than her audience, "I forgive you."
Luan was horrified. Even when she looked and sounded on the verge of tears, her big sister still found it in her to forgive on the spot. It was too much for her to be within inches of her, propelling back to her feet. Her eyes watched as Leni continued cleaning without complaint. If Luan had any problem with her second oldest sister, it was thaf she was too trusting. The girl could have been robbed at gun point and she still would have asked for the thief's phone number. Some of the sisters (including Luan herself) had tried to teach her about deception and the limits towards granting second chances, but much of it flew right over her head.
In that moment, Luan was somewhat mad at her older sister for not giving her the lashing she was warranted. And she considered trying again to knock some sense into her. However she then became aware of her own grief, her own pain. It was overwhelming, indeed. It was like a powder keg ready to burst. To her it felt greedy, but being reminded of her own suffering was enough to make her glad her older sister had no interest in retaliation. She was already in enough pain as it was, so Luan assumed that it was okay to indulge in at least a little selfishness (taking advantage of Leni's forgiving nature).
"I'll make sure to thank you later," Luan reminded herself before taking her tools and exiting the room. She supposed that the next stop should in fact be Leni's room. After all, if she was willing to start in her own room, then it was only fair to start by returning the favor.
She turned the knob open, though, only to be met by another unfortunate surprise.
The room was practically sparkling from the lack of prank-related substance. However, it was crowded by a bunch of familiar faces. With her presence apparent, all of them glared at her, their eyes shooting daggers at her. Now nervous, her own eyes darted to various parts of the room. Luna sat in a corner polishing her precious Axe guitar (thankfully that wasn't scathed in the disaster). But even with that, her chilling frown was too much for her. She then shifted to Lincoln, who was seated on the floor against the wall. He was hugging his stuffed bunny Bun Bun. What popped out the most were the fresh lines of stitching along the doll's fur (she immediately thanked Leni for fixing it up).
"Oh," Luan said awkwardly, "hey everyone...How are you all feeling?"
Through the cold silence, each of their heads redirected their attention to the oldest. Lori stood up and faced her directly from the other side of the room. Her face was a complete contrast to that of her roommate.
"Luan," she said affirmatively. Hearing her name was enough to make her jump, her back now as straight as a line, "We the Sisters,"
"And me," Lincoln interjected, holding the same serious conviction as his oldest sister.
"Are all very mad at you," Lori said slowly.
"I hate you!" Lola screamed, pointing an accusatory finger at her.
"Lola!" Lori barked. And just like that, the princess clamped her lips and folded her arms.
For another devastating moment, silence shrouded the room with an intense fog of hostility. Luan felt like she had lost her skin and became exposed to the elements, whatever it was that wanted to get to her.
"Right now, no one in this room is ready to forgive you," Lori continued firmly, "In time, each of us will come around because we are family," she then shot a look to Lola, Lynn, and Lisa, "and we won't stay mad at you forever."
Right then, she witnessed Luna place down her guitar and stare at her particularly.
"I'm gonna be crashing with Lincoln tonight," Luna said simply. Luan then snapped her head to the boy in question, seeing him casually nodding.
As the verbal pause threatened to envelop the room once again, Luan made a noticeable discovery. There were only seven people in the room.
"Where's Lucy?" she asked.
Lynn scoffed and reclined in her seat at Leni's desk.
"She's up in the vents again," she replied, her voice lacking any interest, "Said that she got 'inspired'. Sure wonder how that happen," she finished with a bite. Lori shot a glance at the rebel, who was quickly brought back into line.
Luan couldn't take much of the resentment anymore. She shut the door, the last sight being their glares, and made her way over to Lynn and Lucy's room. As she expected, it remained an utter mess. She estimated that it would take almost an hour to clean this room alone.
"Better get started."
The next few hours were mindless, ones that Luan wished to forget. She trudged along as she threw away broken property and other trash, vacuumed the carpet, and made the room at least somewhat presentable. She filled close to four big black garbage bags with rubble. The work was physically straining and she ended up with marks and stains on her clothes from various sources. Each iota of aching her arms felt represented a penny of her allowance that got flushed in this wasteful endeavor. Eventually, she hauled all the bags down to the front curb, alongside all the other ones that had accumulated from the chore.
Once that was taken care of, she made her way to the nursery, where Lisa and the future baby resided. But inside was Leni once again at work. This time, Luan was too intimidated to approach her older sister. The last thing she wanted was to be reminded of was the fact that she had been forgiven so quickly. So she cracked the door shut without being detected.
And that left only Lincoln's room. Out of all the pranks in her plan, this had the highest prank-square area ratio. Some of it was due to the cramped quarters, but (and she was forced to shamefully admit) it was also due to the fact that it was Lincoln. She figured Lincoln could take it all.
"How wrong was I..."
She swung the door open to see Lincoln and Luna organizing things together. The two of them froze, though, upon seeing the perpetrator. Their faces, those painful eyes, was all the communication that was needed. Luan backed off, shutting the door and proceeded to head downstairs. Along the way, she felt guilty for not being the one to do all the cleaning. It was like Leni, Luna, and Lincoln were exerting themselves just to mock her. As if that were meant to be their punishment to her. Her chest only grew heavier when she saw her parents seated at the couch waiting for her.
"Luan, we need to talk," Lynn Sr. said, his disappointment riding along tranquility's wave. Her head plummeted as she slowly marched to the open spot on the couch.
"Now Luan," Lynn Sr. continued, "this isn't the first time you did stuff for April Fools Day. What made this year different?"
She wasn't sure how to answer that one tactfully. Luan loved her friends and she worried that if she told the full truth that her parents wouldn't allow her to hang out with them anymore. She didn't want to be lonely and friendless. She didn't want to be forced to give up her passion entirely. But her parents' stern looks were demanded something out of her. Anything.
"I wanted to...try something new," she said timidly. It may not have been much, but she supposed it was technically true. After all, it was something new.
"And are you happy with what came out of it?" Rita asked.
Wasn't it obvious? After all that she had been through, Luan had only been reminded by how terrible she felt during this whole process. And now her mother had the courage to ask her to admit the pity she had felt had become so apparent by this point. Was this also a part of the punishment? She sadly nodded.
The two parents briefly looked at each other concerned before turning back to their ashamed daughter.
"Luan," Lynn Sr. started, "we love you and your mother and I are really happy that you have something you love that gets you up in the morning," he then chuckled, "I mean, your puns are hysterical!"
Rita endearingly rolled her eyes and grinned. It was true. Her husband's love for comedic wordplay had been one of his quirks. And even if she had never grown fond of them, she still loved both her husband and fourth daughter for it.
"We appreciate how you try to make everyone around you smile with your jokes and games," Rita said, placing a reassuring hand on Luan's shoulder, "but there comes a point where comedy, even when you mean well, does more harm than good. And that stuff you did today hurt us more than made us laugh."
Luan sorrowfully sighed and her eyes started stinging.
"I'm sorry," she said weakly and placing her hands to her face, "I messed up big time..."
As she did her best to not cry, she felt a second hand touch her other shoulder.
"It's okay, honey," she heard her Dad say, "we still love you. We may not be happy with what you did, but you're still our little Luan."
"And remember, we don't want you to stop doing what you love, sweetie," she heard her mother add, "just remember that comedy is about making sure everyone is laughing and being happy. Be funny, be adored. But make sure no one gets hurt by it. Promise?"
"I promise," Luan croaked, feeling slightly better. She then felt both her parents leaned into her, embracing her in the process.
"I'm sure the others will come to forgive me too," she thought to herself as she melted into the sweet, familial moment.
She floated close to thirty feet in the air, sporting a spacesuit with the stench of skunk burning at her nostrils. She looked down at those fools below, mocking them for their premature celebration. Things may not have gone according to plan, but she remained hopeful.
"Clap. Clap. Clap," she said sarcastically. Suddenly, everyone went quiet, submitting to her sinister message, "Well done, family. You got me. You may have won this time, but next year, I'm gonna stop going easy on you and give you all an April Fools you're never gonna forget. Especially you Dad!"
She started maniacally laughing as she saw all of them run away. All of them, forgetting about their so-called family values (what little there was to begin with), rushing to the car and driving off without her. She didn't care about them. If they were too scared to be true family and if she got her way, then all was alright. Father of the year, she demeaned towards that grown man she had reduced to abusing his family in the vain hope of giving him mercy. It wasn't like she was gonna grant it to him anyway. She just liked seeing how far she could break her Dad.
All there was now, though, was terrible, terrible laughter. So much that the world around her turned black from the blasting sound.
Luan shot awake in a cold sweat. The room felt like a vacuum devoid of air. She ripped off the blanket and jumped down to the carpet. She stood there in nothing but her pajamas, waiting for Luna to ask her what was wrong. But upon seeing their bunk bed, she remembered what had happened and her spirits deflated.
Returning to her own mattress, Luan thought about that horrible nightmare that befell her. Was she destined to be that monster? Did that one intricate plan corrupt her, thrust her on a completely different trajectory? Without Luna or anyone else to answer, she was left to her own doubts that were sewed from today.
As she felt a tear break free, she tried closing her eyes to go back to sleep. But how could she if all she could see was a cold, heartless, immature baby perched upon a jester's throne?