BETTER IN TIME BY JESSA
RATING/GENRE: K+/General, Hurt/Comfort
FANDOM/CHARACTERS: Glee/Kind of Finchel-y (with Fuinn thrown in. Yuck.)
SUMMARY: "No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you." A short glimpse into the future. Oneshot.
DISCLAIMER: Rachel, Finn and all things Glee are the property of Fox. I use them for evil but not for profit!
AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, this is not a Finchel-rides-off-into-the-sunset-and-lives-happily-ever-after fic but it got stuck in the ol' noggin and wouldn't leave. I'm pissed about how love-sick and pathetic they've been making Rachel and I'm expressing it via fanfic. The song quoted at the beginning and end is "Better in Time" by Leona Lewis. I've been listening to it on repeat and imagining Rachel singing it to get me through the past few eps. Also this is my first stab at Finchel and the first thing I've written in forever so it probably sucks…
Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go
So I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you
Yes I will
Finn Hudson's life turned out just like everyone expected. Actually, it had turned out like he'd expected too. In high school he had clung to dreams of being a famous drummer or football player like a life raft, just to get himself through the monotony of schoolwork and the bullying from his fellow students, but somewhere deep down he knew they were just that – dreams. He wasn't smart or driven enough to get where he secretly wanted to go.
So there he was, twenty six years old and working for Quinn's dad in good old Lima, Ohio. Construction work wasn't so bad and he was pretty good at it too, given his size and build. Mr. Fabray said he was a natural; Finn was just grateful to have a half decent job in such a small town.
In the evenings he came home from work, worn out and sweaty, to the two bedroom apartment he shared with Quinn. Sometimes she was kind enough to have dinner on the table and other times she bombarded him with demands and expectations. He was more accustomed to the latter and had long since perfected the art of tuning his blond girlfriend out while still catching key phrases in case she paused in her tirade to ask him a question.
Things with Quinn weren't all bad. Being her boyfriend was familiar and made him feel safe, in a weird way. They'd known each other for such a long time that it felt natural for them to stay together. It was a matter of going with the flow and keeping it simple. Disrupting the status quo was simply more trouble than it was worth and even though Quinn was often brash and had a tendency to nag (then there were the irritating hints she'd been dropping like anvils lately about marriage), she could also be really sweet when she wanted to be. It could certainly have been worse.
And yet, there was always an emptiness to their kisses and loving words, one that left Finn with a pit in his stomach. He couldn't quite put his finger on what it was, but something was missing, something that prevented him from buying the ring and popping the question that Quinn was waiting for with bated breath.
One sunny Saturday morning, he woke up just after eleven (it was his day off) to Quinn bitching about there not being any eggs for the big breakfast she had planned to make for them. She not so politely suggested that he get his ass down to the corner store to get some. He grumbled only slightly about the errand (because honestly, that woman made the best scrambled eggs on the planet), shoved on some clothes and was out the door in minutes.
As he was taking his dozen eggs to the cash, something caught his eye. It was a woman's magazine with a familiar face grinning out from the cover.
'RACHEL BERRY', it read right next to her thousand watt smile, 'From geek to chic! How she paved her way to stardom!'
Finn was so startled at the sight that he dropped the carton he was holding. Luckily the eggs remained intact, but the woman behind the counter, who was usually very friendly, shot him a dirty look. He scrambled to pick them up and then grabbed the magazine without contemplating how he'd smuggle it past Quinn. In a daze, he made his purchases and stumbled out of the store, not hearing the sarcastic 'you're welcome!' that was called after him.
His heart pounded a mile a minute as he plunked on a bench in front of his apartment building and unfurled the magazine from around the egg carton, smoothing his hand carefully over the cover to straighten it out. He was almost afraid to look more closely at it, afraid of what dormant feelings it would invoke.
Rachel Berry was someone that Finn tried really hard not to think about, even after such a long time. He had only seen her a handful of times since they'd graduated from McKinley High. Kurt informed him that she had moved to New York after being accepted to The Julliard School, an honor of the highest degree, or so his step-brother told him. Since then he'd caught quick glimpses of her during the holidays, running errands with her dads and once hanging out with Tina and Mike at Breadstix.
Finn never had a doubt that Rachel was destined for big things, but seeing her on the cover of a magazine (sitting oh-so-innocently between the gum and batteries) was kind of mind-blowing. He stared at it in awe for a long time, getting reacquainted with the soft lines of her face and her big brown eyes. Finally he flipped through the pages to find the article about her, surprised by how eager he was to discover exactly what had gotten her to the height of fame she'd always dreamed of.
Spread over five glossy pages was Rachel's life story, or at least the parts she felt comfortable publicizing, complete with pictures. It started off with stories he already knew (the slushies and Glee club and how being bullied just gave her more fire, more motivation to success) and then went on about her time at Julliard (she'd been top of her class, of course). After finishing up the prestigious program, Rachel began to audition for Broadway and at first, due to her inexperience, had no luck. Then, just as she was about to give up hope (Finn could easily imagine the dramatic fashion in which she probably relayed this part of the story to the interviewer), an up and coming director with a penchant for taking risks cast her as Maureen in an Off-Broadway production of RENT. It was during this show that a talent scout had honed in on Rachel's amazing voice and signed her on the spot. And the rest, the article said, was history.
Rachel's first album had two singles currently in the top twenty on the Billboard charts, songs she had written herself. Finn felt like he probably should have noticed before then that his ex-girlfriend was a top ten recording artist but he mostly listened to classic rock stations and watched sports on TV. Pop culture wasn't so much his thing.
It was hard to tear his eyes away from the pages of the magazine, the pictures of her looking so happy and gorgeous in sleek formal wear, belting it out for a huge crowd and waving to cameras on the red carpet. She had changed, become a woman somewhere along the way, and yet she looked the same too. Just from looking at the pictures he could see the same idealistic drama queen he'd known as a teenager shining out from behind the eyeliner and up-dos.
Finn was so proud of her for doing it on her own, for achieving her dreams like he always told her she could, and not letting anyone or anything hold her back from what she was capable of. He wished there was a way he could tell her what he was feeling in that moment, to let her know that he was aware of all she'd accomplished.
He knew he'd never work up the nerve to call her or anything, not to mention the fact that Quinn would flip her lid if she found out, but he couldn't help wishing he'd kept in touch with her. It would be stupid and selfish to call her up out of the blue after not bothering for so long. It was a desire that he really had to work to stave off.
Being as gentle as possible with his huge hands, Finn tore the five pages pertaining to Rachel away from the spine of the magazine and then did the same with the cover, taking a final lingering look at them before tucking them into the pocket of his jeans. He deposited the rest of the magazine into the garbage bin beside the bench and stood up, taking his eggs with him.
Sighing, he made his way into his apartment building to start the day with Quinn, knowing the first chance he got he was going to run to the mall for a copy (or five) of Rachel's CD.
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
It'll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time