Disclaimer: KHR is not mine. If it was, Tsuna and Hibari would be doing it already. But sadly it isn't, so they aren't. This story is only a product of my imagination and insanity

Summary: There was a tingling itch at the back of his mind that irritated him to no end. It might be because of the way Tsuna and Chrome has been looking at almost anywhere else except him, or the way Ryohei had been so quiet this whole meeting, an occurence that definitely worried Lambo. Also, Yamamoto wasn't so much as smiling as he was forcing a grin that just made him look like a codfish, and Gokudera was giggling like a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl, which genuinely scared Lambo. Even Hibari was acting weird, everytime he glanced at Lambo, his lips would twitch upwards as if he was trying hard not to laugh, now that scared Lambo even more.

Or the one in which Lambo and Mukuro are a crack!ship

'Dear God, I'm going to die today, aren't I,' was the only thing Lambo could think about as he shook in fear waiting for the inevitable to happen.

Sitting beside him was Mukuro Rokudo, one of the scariest and creepiest motherfucker the planet was able to set loose into society, was equipped with a sardonic leer on his lips. Like Lambo, he wasn't enjoying the situation one single bit.

"I trust that you'll be able to do the mission," the bringer of Lambo's death and migraine said with a smile on his lips.

Trying to retain what little dignity he has but still wanting to live through the next few weeks, Lambo looked at Tsuna, "I don't know about this, Vongola," he paused, shifting on his sit, "I mean, aren't I a bit inexperienced for dealing with this ... matter." Lambo faltered a bit, not knowing how to address the unusual mission that's being presented to him.

Mukuro was quick to agree with him," I agree with the cow brat. This issue is far too ridiculous for my caliber."

" Yeah, well, tough luck, you guys. The both of you were personally requested by the Fulmine Famiglia," Tsuna paused, looking at Lambo and Mukuro to emphasize his point, " if we were to decline their request, it might cause trouble for us. "

"Their request? You mean the one you're asking as to do? They must be really crazy," Lambo was quick to call bullshit on Tsuna. Something was definitely missing from his explanation. And like hell would Lambo let that slip.

"We're the strongest famiglia in Italy, hell, in the world. And you're telling me saying no to a small, barely known, family would be bad for us." Lambo was beginning to feel irritated with the situation presented to him.

He stood up, surprising Tsuna, in frustration, "Look, I'm not a kid anymore, okay? If you're going to send me on a mission, as ridiculous as this, with a guy equally as ridiculous, and might I add, insane," he looked at Mukuro and added,"no offense, " as an afterthought, before continuing, "you might as well tell me the whole story. Because no way in hell am I going in blind on enemy territory."

Lambo realizing that he was still in the same room as the guy he just called ridiculous and insane, he returned to his sit. To his utmost relief, Mukuro didn't look angry, he was more amused by what Lambo said than mad.

"Kufufufufu," and there it was, Mukuro's creepy laugh that never failed to make Lambo shiver in fear, " the cow has a point, Tsunayoshi-kun. What aren't you telling us?"

And all it took was a smile from Mukuro before Tsuna cracked, I mean who wouldn't ? Lambo was just glad he wasn't on the receiving end of that creepy smile.

With a sigh, Tsuna looked at them and began to explain, "The boss of their famiglia has ... materials that Vongola needs." Tsuna shifted in his sit, clearly uncomfortable with what he has to say, " With those materials in their hands, the Vongola could be the laughingstock of the whole mafia world."

Putting the dots together, Lambo said, " So blackmail then," crossing his legs, Lambo asked the question that has been bugging him from the beginning, " but why us? Don't you think me and Mukuro-san are a weird combination for this task?"

Mukuro only hummed in agreement. It was clear that he was clearly losing interest in the topic.

Tsuna, though, was different. He looked at anywhere but them. His hands were stone cold pressed together on his arm desk and the smile he had seemed so forced. But the most suspicious of all was the blush he had that seemed to be getting heavier by the second. "Well, um you see, " he coughed, trying not to be awkward but failing, "the boss of the Fulmine famiglia.. she's umm, how do you say this-"

"Spit it out already," Mukuro hissed clearly irritated by Tsuna's stuttering.

"Shesintoyaoi," Tsuna said in such a blur that Mukuro and Lambo looked at each other in confusion.

"What?" Lambo was getting tired of this as well. Dear god, he still has homework to do. "Think you can say it slowly this time, Vongola?"

Tsuna was now seriously red in the face. If Lambo wasn't so amused by now, he would've been worried about him. His amusement was quickly erased when he heard Tsuna's next words, "She's into yaoi."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Excuse me," Lambo muttered after what seemed like forever, " s-she's into what now?"

"I fail to see why this would concerns me, Tsunayoshi-kun, " Mukuro now has now a very visible vein popping out his temple. His smile looked so force, and his left eyebrow was twitching. If Lambo wasn't so horrified, he would have find this situation funny.

Lambo nodded his head in agreement, clearly weirded out by what he was hearing. But now, Tsuna's earlier statement was becoming clearer, as well as everybody's actions.

Tsuna looked at his desk as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

" Well," Tsuna shifted in his sit awkwardly, " she's what you'd call a... fujoshi, and well, she's under the impression that you two would be a great couple together."

"Well, why in the hell should her being to yaoi matter?" Lambo now has a full blown blush on his face.

"Well, she's also a self proclaimed match maker. She requested the two of you to guard her and she doesn't take anyone who's not up to par with her standards." At the end of his statement Tsuna was beet red.

It took a while before Tsuna's words actually registered in Lambo's mind. It wasn't his fault really. Ever since the whole Checkered face and arcabaleno almost dying incident, which was years ago, Lambo was trained by Colonello and Lal Mirch themselves to be worthy of the Vongola Lightning ring. He was trained to be quick on his feet, work with the resources he has, be calm in under any situation. At seventeen years old, Lambo wasn't quite there yet but he could go toe to toe with Hibari, albeit it would leave him crippled and scarred for life. Though when he hears that some crazy old lady thinks that he and Mukuro could be a great couple, excuse him for not responding quickly. His mind still needs to wrap around the craziness of it all.

In Lambo's defense, even Mukuro looked petrified by the statement as well. Maybe he was realizing that somewhere out there, there is a lady that is much more bat shit insane than he is.

" What do you mean by not up to par with her standards, Tsunayoshi-kun?" At last, Mukuro broke the awkward silence.

"Well, she doesn't take anyone that bores her. And since she has blackmail materials, our hands are tied."

At least the dots have now come full circle. Tsuna's earlier words now becoming clear as the clearest water there is.

15 minutes before

Today's meeting was definitely awkward, that much Lambo was certain.

Aside from the boringness of it all, Lambo couldn't stay calm. There was a tingling itch at the back of his mind that irritated him to no end. It might be because of the way Tsuna and Chrome has been looking at almost anywhere else except him, or the way Ryohei had been so quiet this whole meeting, an occurrence that definitely worried Lambo. Also, Yamamoto wasn't so much as smiling as he was forcing a grin that just made him look like a codfish, and Gokudera was giggling like a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl, which genuinely scared Lambo. Even Hibari was acting weird,everytime he glanced at Lambo, his lips would twitch upwards as if he was trying hard not to laugh, now that scared Lambo even more.

A few minutes later, the meeting was finally over to which Lambo thanked god over and over again inside his head. He was about to leave when Tsuna called him, "L-lambo, could you please stay here for a while." Tsuna looked like he was readying himself for something awful, " You too, Mukuro."

And there it was again, Gokudera was now full blown laughing, Chrome and Ryohei were quick to flee the scene, and Yamamato moved robotically, as if he was forced. And Hibari, motherfucking Hibari, snorted on his way out. It only tickled Lambo's curiosity further. He sat back down on his chair as Mukuro walked over to them.

"Kufufufufu," Mukuro took a sit as well, " are you finally going to let me have your body, Tsunayoshi-kun?"

' Dear god, this guy's a freaking creep,' Lambo thought as he stared Mukuro, one eyebrow raised, 'I can't believe he can say that with such a straight face.'

Though Tsuna looks used to it by now. Ten years with Mukuro must have really been hard on him. Instead, Tsuna looked as if he wanted this talk, whatever it is about, to be over quickly, "I need you guys to do a mission together."

When Mukuro and Lambo said nothing but only sent an inquiring look his way, Tsuna continued, " Next week, the Fulmine Famiglia will be hosting a ball, I need you two to protect their boss," putting his hands together, Tsuna displayed an air of seriousness around him, " They received intel that a coup was being planned somewhere in their own ranks. Your mission is to find out who and stop them."

"Sounds easy enough. But why us? We haven't exactly been on a mission together yet." Lambo looked at Tsuna with his own inquisitive green eyes, "Why now?"

There it was again, he was looking everywhere except the two of them, " Y-you see, this assignment requires an illusionist since this operation is entirely covert. Their boss is into thinking that whoever it is that's planning the coup is someone close within her own ranks," Tsuna coughed, then continued, " so the only ones who knows this mission are the three of us and their boss."

"And me? Why me?" Lambo questioned to Tsuna. "As far as I understand, this is more of Mukuro and Chrome's expertise, shouldn't you talk about this with her?"

Mukuro only hummed in agreement. 'For such a creepy guy, he is extremely silent,' Lambo thought in annoyance. 'Support me more here, you old turd'

"That's true but she's not much of a fighter." Tsuna looked at Lambo, "If this mission comes down to violence, your lightning flames would be greatly advantageous against large crowds."

"So I'm more of a safety reassurance then," Lambo muttered in his breath. "Alright, sounds good enough to me."

Tsuna looked relieved, " Okay then." Then he said in a quick breath that took Lambo by surprise, " Also, I forgot to tell you that you guys have to pretend to be a couple during the mission."

Lambo and Mukuro only looked at him with the scariest look they can muster, not sure if Tsuna was joking.

"I trust that you'll be able to do the mission."

Again, Lambo was the first to break the silence, "You do realize that Mukuro-san is ten years older than me. And whatever it is you're asking me is completely ridiculous," Lambo said in a no nonsense voice.

'Calm down. Calm down, Lambo. You need to stay cool. Just look for a way out of this,' Lambo repeated it in his head like a mantra.

"The blackmail material," Mukuro started, "how important is it that you're desperate enough to comply with their demands?"

"Very important." Tsuna was now back into his boss mode, " Aside from pretending to be a couple, I need you guys to destroy that material."

"Important enough for you to request... that of your cute little brother," Lambo asked as he pouted his lips and tilted his head to achieve the ultimate puppy dog look that not even Colonello could resist.

Tsuna blushed, he looked almost ready to budge but then he looked elsewhere, determined not to be at the receiving end of Lambo's look, "Listen, Lambo," Tsuna started, looking at his desk, "y-you're not five anymore. That's not going to work on me."

Lambo whimpered.

"Oh, for god's sake, you're eighteen years old, why does that look still work," Tsuna demanded, slamming his hands on the desk in frustration.

Tsuna groaned, hitting his head on the desk. It almost made Lambo pity him. Almost

"Look, if there was any other way, I would have already tried it. But there isn't. So you're just going to have to deal with it."

"Easy for you to say," Mukuro hissed.

Lambo sighed. He was really starting to lose the fucks he gave.

'There's no avoiding this, is there?' Lambo thought in despair. He looked up, 'are you even up there?'

With a sigh, Lambo stood up, clearly exhausted with the entire situation. "Send me the rest of the data, later. I'm going to prepare. What time do we leave?"

"Tomorrow at 5 in the morning. You have until next week to prevent the coup before the ball and protect the boss." Tsuna looked relieved.

At the mention of the Fulmine Don, Lambo fumed, "You mean the crazy boss lady who thinks I'll be a perfect match to Mukuro?" Lambo turned to Tsuna with a sadistic gleam on his eyes, "she might get hit by a bullet or two. I mean, I'm not invincible, who knows what might happen." Lambo muttered to himself, "Maybe a stab or two in the ribs and a slice in the eyelid."

" No, you're not invincible but you are a Vongola Guardian. I expect her in one piece when the mission is over."

Lambo tsked, "Fine. But I'm not promising anything."

" You're no fun, Tsunayoshi-kun," Mukuro grunted, also giving up and just going with the flow. 'Not that he helped that much in the first place,' Lambo thought bitterly.

And with that, Lambo left the room to get ready for tomorrow. He was gonna need a lot of rest and a big miracle to pull this off.

When he got to his room, Gokudera was waiting for him with a grin. He was sitting on the couch, near the tv, amusement was clear on his face.

"You bastard, you knew this would happen," Lambo said with a groan as he flopped down to his bed, burying his face into the sheets.

Gokudera only laughed at him.

Lambo threw the nearby pillow to Gokudera in annoyance. He groaned when the pillow didn't hit its target.

Throughout the rest of the time they've been together, Lambo and Gokudera had gotten closer. Since Tsuna was worried when he began training with Lal Mirch and Colonello, Gokudera took it upon himself, stupidly if Lambo might add, to look out for him because he was Tsuna's righthand man and all that jazz. And slowly but surely, after every bombs and threats and rude words that were thrown around in a day to day basis, the two of them had gotten close. Sure, the both of them still fights a lot but they really wouldn't be Lambo and Gokudera if they didn't banter and try to physically hurt and maim each other.

"Where the hell are you aiming at, you stupid cow?" Gokudera took the pillow and threw it back at him in retaliation.

At this point, Lambo was too tired to fight with Gokudera so he deflected the pillow and used it to bury his head again. "I'm tired, Gokudera-shi. Come back when I'm less likely to kill someone with a crayon."

" Like you could kill me with a fucking crayon," he grunted.

"I said someone, not you, "Lambo remarked as he gets comfortable with the pillow. "Also, you're creepy when you smile so stop it," Lambo slurred. "Please," he added as an afterthought since it was ingrained to him by Lal Mirch to always be polite and have good manners, he was a hitman after all.

"Geez, cow, it's not that serious, you know. It's not like its the end of the world," Gokudera muttered quietly, not sure what to say. He stood up and sat next to Lambo in the bed.

" Not the end of the world, yeah right." Lambo looked at Gokudera, his head still int the pillow, "if you were in my position, about to go and pretend to be a couple with a man ten years your senior. And said man, is crazy and once tried to take over the mafia, you wouldn't get depressed?"

"..."

"..."

"...touche," Gokudera said in defeat.