Notes:

Iúleth is pronounced YOU-leth.

In this fic, Galadion is 14, Eydís is 12, Iúleth 8, and Kára 3. I don't have a conversion formula for how those ages translate to human years, because thinking about that makes my head hurt! Plus I imagine that the different children mature at slightly different rates, depending on which side of their heritage they favor.

Over all, though, Kíli and Tauriel's children age more slowly than humans; an extended childhood is common between both elves and dwarves. However, elves learn physical coordination and speech within the first year, much earlier than elves or dwarves, so some (though not all) of the dwelflings likewise develop more quickly in these respects.

Spiders

Kíli tightened his grip on his sword hilt and held his breath, listening.

They were still out there among the mirky trees, the spiders that had already captured each of his companions. If he was not very careful, they would take him, too.

All was silent—too silent. He took a few more cautious steps. And then he heard a rustle and high, tittering laughter.

He whirled, sword raised, as three great "spiders" (with the laughing faces of his own children and only four limbs apiece) pounced on him from behind the sofa. A few deft slashes kept Kára, the smallest, at bay, but in the meantime the other two had flanked him. Eydís leapt on his back, strong arms clinging round his neck, while Galadion grabbed his legs so that he stumbled forward.

Kíli rolled when he hit the ground, momentarily eluding the spider at his neck. Yet the one on his legs never loosened its grip. When his back was to the ground, Kíli lifted his sword arm, but his thrust was cut short as the two other spiders landed on top of him. Grasping hands caught the toy sword and wrested it from his grip. Kíli cried out in dismay as he watched his only weapon skid across the floor and disappear into the shadows under the sofa.

Eydís (who was now sitting on his chest) leaned close, grinning fiercely so that all her teeth showed. "I've got you now, dwarf," she hissed. "I think you will make a very delicious pie."

"Pie?" Kíli scrambled uselessly against the carpet. "May I suggest, I don't taste very good baked."

"How about a pudding?" the spider returned. "We could tie you up in a sack and boil you."

"No good," Kíli gasped. "I'll get too tough."

Eydís's only answer was a squeal of laughter as Kíli began to tickle her.

"Kára!" Galadion shouted from Kíli's feet. "Now! Get the web!"

The smallest spider scrambled up from Kíli and dashed away.

Eydís was now quite breathless and limp. "I can't— Oh stop—" she gasped, tears of laughter rolling down her cheeks.

"Stop? You were going to boil me!" Kíli exclaimed as he tipped her off him.

Before he could sit up, a soft stretchy net fell over his face and upper body.

"Got you now!" Eydís cried, rolling over to pin the knitted blanket down on one side of him as Kára trapped him on the other side. Kíli could feel Galadion winding more blanket about his legs.

"Argh!" Kíli strained against his bonds. "No! You can't eat me."

"Oh yes, we will. What do you think?" Eydís asked her brother. "It's been a long time since we had a real dwarf pie, but I do like puddings, too."

"Mmm." There was the exaggerated sound of lips being licked. "Or we could eat him whole."

"Didn't I tell you I've got parasites?"

Eydís giggled. "Those make the best puddings."

"But I've never even liked pudding. Help; help!"

"I shall save you," cried a new voice, and Kíli heard light feet scamper across the carpet to his side. "Begone, foul creatures!"

As the spiders scurried off him, Kíli sat up and fought free of the web.

"My lady!" He stared at the young lass standing over him. Her copper hair was in long braids, and twin daggers (carefully carved from wood) were in her hands. "Fair elven maid, you saved my life!"

Iúleth lowered one brow in disapproval, a comical expression that nonetheless lent a strong resemblance to her mother. "You should be more careful, Mister Dwarf. Mirkwood is very dangerous. Don't you have a sword?"

"I did but—" He pointed under the sofa. At the same moment, he heard the spiders hiss again behind him. They must have circled round under cover of the chair and side table. "Won't you give me one of your daggers?"

The little elf warrior stared at him for a moment, considering. From the corner of his eye, Kíli could see the biggest spider as it sneaked past the edge of the chair.

"Please?"

The elf shrugged. "You do look very strong," she said. "All right." And she handed him a dagger.

"Now, you go that way—" Kíli pointed around the side table. "—while I—" He gestured to the chair.

She nodded, creeping forward as Kíli did the same. The spiders tried to slink back behind the furniture, but found themselves trapped between elf and dwarf. There was a brief, intense tussle, but Eydís and Galadion knew their part in this story was nearly finished, and so they soon submitted to Iúleth's cries of "Got you! Got you; you're dead!"

Eydís curled up and lay still, but Galadion shrieked and thrashed so dramatically in his final throes that Kára ran from the room.

Iúleth surveyed the field, looking as proud as if she truly had vanquished a trio of Mirkwood's worst. Then she tucked her braids back into place behind her peaked ears and looked to Kíli.

"Well, that's done," she said, heaving an elaborate sigh. "I suppose you'd better come home with me."

"Can I?" Kíli took the hand she held out to him. "I have been lost in this forest for such a long time, and I'm very hungry. Though maybe not for pie or pudding."

She squinted thoughtfully. "I don't think we're having pie tonight." She looked up as Tauriel entered the parlor, Kára balanced on her hip. "Nana, we're not having pie for supper, are we? Or pudding?" she asked in a loud whisper.

"I believe it's roast, my dear."

Iúleth beamed at Kíli. "We're not. So you can stay!"

"I'm most grateful," he said, and kissed her hand.

This scene concluded satisfactorily, Eydís bounded up from the floor. "It's my turn!" she cried. "I get to be Amad next!"

Kíli looked to his son. "Would you like to play me this time?"

"Nah." Galadion dragged messy dark bangs out of his face. "I like being a spider. It's fun to catch you."

Kíli smiled, remembering the games he and Fíli used to play with their father. He had always felt a thrill when he had been able to win against that big, strong dwarf. Oh, he half knew even then that of course his father had let him, but even so it was an honor to be treated as an equal opponent.

"Kára?" His youngest daughter was still nestled in her mother's arms.

"Galad is a scary spider," she said, peeking over her shoulder at Kíli. "He makes scary noises."

Kíli nodded. "Spiders is a scary game. But it's just a game. We'll play something else next, if you want to wait for us."

"All right."

"I love you, my little jewel." He kissed her cheek.

Tauriel gave Kíli a look of approval before she turned back down the hall. "I was going to make some lavender balm," she said to Kára. "But I need help measuring the ingredients. Could you do that for me?"

Kíli watched them go. His little Kára was only three, though she could speak and carry herself with the control of a dwarven child twice that age. Sometimes he forgot that she was still not quite ready to keep up with all the games the others enjoyed. He would make sure they played something less frightening next; he didn't want her to feel overwhelmed or left out.

"Adad." Iúleth tugged on his hand. "We're ready." Her face was still flushed from activity and excitement.

"Yes, love. First let me find my sword."

Kíli was finishing his breakfast the next morning when a teary-eyed Kára appeared in the hall door opposite him. He set down his fork and pushed his chair back from the table.

"Kára? What's wrong?"

His daughter ran to him and flung her arms about his waist. She was sobbing now.

Kíli stroked her hair and glanced across the table at Tauriel, who shook her head to say she knew no more than he what was the reason for their youngest's distress.

"Shh, love. It's all right," he murmured. "You're not hurt?" He could not see any scrapes or bruises. "Did Galadion ambush you?" The lad's favorite game lately was to sneak about and jump on people unexpectedly; his family—as well as several prominent council members—could attest that he was very good at it.

"No," Kára sniffled. She loosened her hold on Kíli somewhat, and he dabbed at her wet face with his napkin.

"What is it, then, my little jewel?"

"There's—" She hiccuped. "There's a big mean spider in my room."

Kíli saw Tauriel mouth a sympathetic "Oh" over Kára's head.

"My, that is serious," he said. "I had better go take a look. Could you show me where it is?"

"You won't let it eat me?"

He smiled. "I won't let it hurt you at all."

"A'right." She wiped her nose on her sleeve.

Kíli took her hand, and they headed down the hall to Kára's bedroom. As they neared the door, she slowed.

"Don't you think you should take your sword?" she asked.

"That is a good idea." Not sure where the wooden sword from yesterday would be at the moment, Kíli turned aside into his own room for the blade he kept there. "Now we should be very safe," he said, patting the pommel at his hip. "Where is this spider?"

Kára led him into her room and over to the shelf where she kept her favorite toys.

"There." Ducking behind Kíli's body, she pointed to the dark corner between the shelf and the wall.

Kíli took a step forward as best he could with Kára clinging to him. Yes, there was the web, and at its edge, the spindly shape of a spider. Together, its legs and body were about the size of his thumbnail—not so big, but then not so small, either.

"I see; it is scary looking," he said. "But I'm sure it doesn't want to hurt you. This kind of little spider only hunts flies and moths and that sort of thing. It's not interested in a big, brave girl like you."

He looked down at Kára and patted her back. "Shall we tell it what great spider slayers your parents are? Your nana has been in the Mirkwood guard for hundreds of years! There's no counting how many spiders she's killed in that time. And even I have killed quite a few since I met her. When the spider knows who you are, I'm sure it will be more afraid of you than you are of it."

Kára peered round him at the spider again. "I don't like it in my room," she said softly.

He nodded. "I'll get rid of it for you." In the wardrobe, Kíli found a shoe, but as he raised it to strike the offensive spider, Kára caught his arm.

"No!" Her green eyes were filled with tears again. "I think he's scared."

"What should we do?"

Kára bit her lip and looked from her father to the spider. "Can we take him outside?"

"Well…" Kíli knew this might be setting a dangerous precedent. If he rescued this spider, she might well ask him to do the same with any others she found. But he didn't like to bruise his daughter's tender heart, especially when it was due to his own stories of Mirkwood spiders that she had been upset in the first place. "Of course we can."

Using a teacup and a book, Kíli succeeded in catching the spider. Kára supervised the whole process closely, apparently afraid that, having killed so many spiders already, he might do the same again.

"Now where do we go?" Kíli said once the spider was safely contained.

"Outside."

Kára led the way, and as they continued past the entrance of their home, and then the gate of the royal quarter, Kíli was confirmed in his suspicion that "outside" truly mean beyond the mountain walls.

It was a long walk, and Kára made him pause several times for her to check that the spider was still safe inside its teacup. Once Kíli offered to let Kára carry it, but she declined. At last, they reached the entrance hall with its great gate. As the two of them marched out into the sunlight, Kíli was aware that the guards stared in curiosity. He took no notice of them, as if it were the most normal thing in the world for a prince to carry teacups this way.

Their task was not yet over even once they came out on the mountainside, for Kára searched for nearly a quarter of an hour before she had found the spider a satisfactory new home in the sheltered spot beneath a boulder. It took some coaxing, but finally the little creature scurried away into the shadows.

"He's happy now," Kára said.

"I think so."

"He told me."

"Did he?"

"Yes." Kára looked up at her father. "Promise you won't squish any more spiders?"

Kíli chuckled. "I promise I will not squish any spiders unless they try to squish me first. Good enough?"

"Yah." Kára put her arms up, asking to be held. Kíli scooped her up and nuzzled against her cheek.

"Promise you won't be scared of spiders any more?"

She wrapped her little arms around his neck. "Yah."

"Perfect. Now, we should go tell Nana how brave and kind you've been."

Author's note:

I think Kíli would be so much fun to have as a dad. :D Of course, his kids grow up on stories of his and Tauriel's adventures.

I wrote this as a bit of fun over spring break. I hope to write some more stories about these Kiliel kids. Make sure you're subscribed to me as an author if you want to get updates, since I post a lot of my stories as separate fics!

The idea of boiling Kíli in a pudding was partially inspired by one of my favorite Beatrix Potter stories, The Tale of Samuel Whiskers or the Roly Poly Pudding. In it, Tom Kitten almost gets eaten in a pudding. (If you Google the title, you can read the story, complete with illustrations, on Project Gutenburg!)

This fic is set after "Nana's Kiln"; Kára is the baby Tauriel was pregnant with in that fic. Tauriel referred to the baby as a boy in that fic only because she wasn't yet sure what the baby's sex would be, and Iúleth was really hoping for a baby brother. I have another story in mind about Kára's birth, which I mean to publish eventually. To see all my Kiliel stories listed in chronological order, please visit my profile page.