A/N

I feel like the writers didn't make good use of Blake's character; she's pretty much the only character who doesn't really have a character. Yeah, I know, they threw in some background story for her just before they decided to write her out, but it seemed to me like a waste of a good actress. I always had an inkling that Blake could have been the token gay character, and I was disappointed when it never happened, so I made it happen. :P

Blake/JJ friendship in this fic.


It had been an exhausting case for the whole team. Everyone seemed to be asleep on the plane. Blake wasn't. She sipped her coffee and tried to focus on the book she was reading, but the words seemed to make no sense to her. That was a first.

"Hey…" JJ's voice reached her from the aisle. "I thought I was the only one awake. Are you okay?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." She sighed and put the book away as JJ slid down on the seat opposite of hers. "James and I are getting a divorce."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"No, that's… that's actually a good thing. The difficult part is getting to know yourself fully again after so many years. I mean… I have had a lot of time to think when he's away, and it's not that I don't know myself, of course I know myself, but…"

She suddenly realised that she - the linguist - could not find the right words, and chuckled quietly. "I'm blabbering, aren't I?"

JJ smiled.

"A little. But hey, I don't mind."

"I think I'm afraid of facing who I really am. Or rather, of letting others know who I really am."

"Wait, now I don't follow."

"The reason our marriage didn't work out in the end…" Blake trailed off and looked down at her coffee mug. "… is because I'm gay."

"Oh." JJ heard the utter surprise in this tiny word and had to laugh a little. Blake shot her a worried glance.

"Sorry," JJ said. "But I can sort of see why the marriage didn't work out."

"Sort of," Blake said, and had to laugh a little herself. "Yes, I guess it sort of explains it." Then, mid-laugh, she began to cry instead. Silent, but painfully burning tears streamed down her cheeks and smeared her makeup.

"Oh, Alex, don't cry," JJ said and moved to sit next to her colleague. She put an arm around her and Alex Blake, who prided herself with being practically bullet-proof and emotionally distant, surrendered completely. She leaned into the embrace and sobbed against JJ's shoulder. JJ held her tight, gently stroking Blake's thick brown hair while mumbling things like "Don't be sad, everything will be alright, I promise…"

Blake cried for several minutes, and when the choked sobs finally began to fade, she pulled back a little and wiped at her flushed, tear-stained face.

"Oh my God, sorry… I got mascara all over your shirt. And snot. Ugh. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," JJ said. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Actually, yes. I am. Thank you."

She dug through her bag for some Kleenex and began to clean herself up. When she was done, she gave JJ an uncharacteristically shy glance. "It doesn't bother you?"

"Of course not. Do you know what bothers me? Those camps where they try to 'cure' homosexuality. That bothers me, because I can't see why anyone want to fix something that's not broken."

She touched Blake's burning cheek with her cool palm. "You are so not broken."

"Sometimes I feel broken," Blake admitted and averted her eyes. "Keeping secrets like this one takes a toll on you, and you end up building walls to protect it. You keep telling yourself you do it to keep safe, and then one day you look around and realise that you weren't keeping safe, you were keeping others out. But what else can you do? I'm really not good with personal relationships, with letting people close..."

"Wait a second. This isn't about coming out at work, is it? You're afraid to start dating again, aren't you?"

"Did I say that?" Blake asked in a low voice.

"Actually, yes, you kind of did."

"Well, fine, yes… I'm forty-seven and I have never been with a woman. I know I like women, but I'm completely inexperienced. Hell, I haven't even kissed another woman. I can imagine so many painfully awkward situations ahead, I almost feel like withdrawing into my secure heterosexual marriage again."

"Going back into hiding," JJ said, deliberately choosing her words to sound slightly mocking. Blake looked at her, startled.

"Hiding?" She sighed. "Yes, I suppose that's what it is."

"Don't. Don't deprive some lucky woman of your love. You've been hiding your entire life, isn't it enough now?"

Tears began to trickle down Alex Blake's cheeks again. She nodded.

"I'm sorry, I can't seem to stop leaking today," she sniffed and grabbed a fresh Kleenex. JJ smiled and touched her shoulder.

"It's alright. Really, it is."

"Thank you, JJ."

JJ smiled.

"You're welcome."