I remember when I saw him again for the first time in years.
I was sitting at the far end of the dark bar. The Kornova was the cleanest pub in Knockturn Alley, and even today, I wonder what he thought he was doing there.
But I am getting ahead of myself.
I sat in the dark pub, blonde hair in my eyes and a black sweatecovering my pale arms; covering the faint scar that no longer burned. Like his, mine would remain forever - mark of my past.
Unlike the Three Brooksticks, there was no happy tinkling of a bell as he entered; just the squeak of rusty hinges. He was clad in black, much like myself, with a hood pulled over his head. But there was no mistaking who was under the hood - the startling green eyes gave him away.
He had killed my lord, he was 'The Savior of the Wizarding World,' and he was in Knockturn Alley - the last place he should have been.
"I have been looking for you."
The voice was still the same I remembered from our childhood; the same one I heard in my dreams. But had I heard right? Why would he be looking for me?
"I missed you, D."
I've missed you, too.
I couldn't do it. Standing, I placed a coin on the bar and left, wanting to get away.
It was a month later when I saw him again. I was in the Hog's Head, nursing a whiskey when he walked in and sat right next to me.
What could he have been thinking to do something so bold! I could have killed him just then. I should have killed him... but I didn't.
Instead, I left. I left before he had time to say a word.
It was his words that hurt the most.
I gave up. The third time he found me, I was at home in my study. It was that time that I could not get away.
"I want to see you."
His eyes were wide, filled with tears. My heart skipped a beat and I went still.
"You see me. Now leave."
How could I have said that? I think I watched as his heart broke.
"I still love you, D. I could never stop loving you."
He should have stopped loving me. I stopped loving him. At least I said I did.
"I don't love you. Not anymore. You are just hurting yourself. Leave."
I felt my heart break and I couldn't believe I had said that. He had killed my lord, he had killed the only man I ever respected.
And yet, I found myself still loving him. He had loved me when no one else would. He gave me a chance.
And for that, I loved him.
"You still love me. I see it in your eyes, D. You know I did the inevitable. I did it for you. He was controlling you; keeping us apart."
He was right, of course. He was always right.
"Come in."
Looking back now, twenty years later, I remember the love we have shared. That night remains embedded in my memory; the heated kisses, the loving caress of his touch, the passionate sex.
He made me who I am today.
Thanks to him, I was able to forget the past and live in the present.
Thanks to him, I am now a grandfather.
Thanks to him,
Thanks to him,
I know love.
