So, a bit of backstory is in place for this because, I understand, the pairing is weird and absolutely a crackship through and through. But that hasn't stopped me from shipping something before and it sure wont' stop me from shipping it now.
The basics boil down to a crossover RP taking place in a place simply called the Camp, where the Campers would go up against monsters and various villains in an attempt to survive. Kakashi and Robin, our two lovely leads, were some of the first Campers to arrive and ended up taking up the mantle as leaders of sorts. In the original roleplay, they had been there for more than 3 years at the point of the roleplay that I'm going to be rewriting for all of you lovelies to read. Then Robashi was born because I'm a shipping monster.
This fic starts long after the roleplay started since we didn't actually start with bringing in the characters in the roleplay, so you're not going to be left in the dark too much.))
Robin stepped into the cabin he and Kakashi shared with a heavy sigh as he ran his hand over his face, letting the door fall closed behind him. Though he was glad that things had been going so well recently, he couldn't deny how tired he really was. Even working with the Shepherds wasn't quite as tiring as this, though that may have been because they were (mostly) fully-trained knights instead of a rag-tag group of people including an actual child, someone who called himself a "youtube celebrity" whatever that meant, and some monster of a high school student. He'd need a night to relax or he'd have some sort of massive breakdown, that much was obvious.
As he started shrugging off his various pieces of armor, Kakashi stepped inside, looking just as tired as Robin felt. His shoulders were slumped and his visible eye was half-lidded – he looked as though he was asleep on his feet, and the imagery alone got Robin to chuckle quietly. He turned his attention back to the buckle he was undoing. "Evening, Kakashi," he greeted, doing his best to hide the smile in his voice. Imagining someone as sharp and physically strong as Kakashi sleeping on his feet was much funnier the more Robin thought about it.
Robin could see Kakashi raise a hand in greeting from the corner of his eye. "Hey," he returned the greeting as he made his way to his own assigned cot. "What's up?" his voice was quiet, even overpowered by the grunt he made when he sat down on the low cot he'd been sleeping in. Apparently, he was much more tired than Robin had originally given him credit for.
"I'm hoping for a night to relax, though at this point I'm doubting that it will actually happen," he confessed with a laugh, finally looking up at the ninja as he was able to pull the belt loose and set it with the other pieces of armor he had already managed to take off. "I'm guessing you're hoping for the same?" Though he was sure Kakahsi would disagree, Robin was fairly certain that Kakashi had much more weight on his shoulders than Robin himself did. He seemed like a man who would take responsibility, even if he wasn't to blame.
Kakashi gave a small nod and Robin could imagine he was smiling, but with his face covered the way it was, it was near impossible to tell, even after all these years. "Yeah, a bit of relaxation sounds amazing right about now," he agreed with a quiet sigh, letting his head fall back with another tired groan.
Robin couldn't help but laugh quietly at the display as he finally sat on his own cot to undo the straps of his boots. "As I thought. With Grima out and about causing trouble the way he is, I doubt relaxing will fit with my schedule, but I'm more than welcome to help you relax if you need it," he offered, folding his coat over his arm and setting it aside so those coming and going wouldn't step all over it.
Kakashi let out a loud yawn and Robin was a little surprised that his jaw didn't pop given how wide he opened his mouth. "You need to be well rested too, especially if Grima comes back around to mess things up again. You need to be well rested to face him," he pointed out, looking at Robin again. Even with one eye covered the way it was, he still managed to look skeptical.
Robin let out a soft sigh and nodded, leaning his elbows on his knees as he let his head hang between his shoulders for a moment. "Aye, I'm well aware of that," he agreed. Eventually, he looked back up at Kakashi to find him still staring. "How much did he tell you the last time you two fought?" He asked quietly. Kakashi and Grima had a confrontation just a few days ago ending in yet another loss for Grima, but even over the noises of the fight Robin could pick out the two of them talking – well, shouting.
Kakashi was quiet for a moment, letting his eye wander elsewhere in the room, but Robin didn't look away from him, waiting patiently for his answer. "He said that I can't kill him, only you can." He finally answered after a tense moment of silence, finally looking back at Robin again.
Robin nodded and sighed, leaning his chin into the palm of his hand. "Technically you can kill him, he just won't stay dead – as you've likely figured out by now." Kakashi had killed Grima more times than Robin could count on one hand, and no matter how Kakashi tried to deflect the praise, Robin would always think that was impressive. "But there's a bit of a," he paused for a moment to think of how he wanted to phrase this. "Drawback if I kill him. Even knowing that, it would make the most tactical sense for me to go against him next time. If I win, you don't have to worry about him coming back again."
That seemed to set Kakashi off. "No!" his suddenly loud, demanding voice honestly made Robin jump. He hadn't expected Kakashi to go along with it easily, but he hadn't expected him to shout about it either. "I am not letting you kill yourself!" Ah, so Grima had told him that too. Of course, he would, what else would Robin expect from him?
After getting over his initial shock from the outburst, Robin scowled as well and shook his head. "I'm not going to let you and everyone else here suffer through Grima's plan like everyone back home has to!" he answered, leaving little if any room for negotiation. Even if he and Kakashi were teammates in leading these people, he was the one who knew the extent of Grima's power and the destruction the god could cause if let loose.
But, Kakashi still didn't back down. "No, you're not fighting him alone. I'm going to help you," he answered just as firmly, glaring at Robin as though he was daring the man to argue with him. An invitation Robin would gladly accept.
"Why do you even care so much? Our goal is to get everyone else home alive – and with Grima out of the way, you won't need a tactician as much. Even then, you could fill that spot with little difficulty," he argued back, digging his fingernails into his jaw to keep himself from just blowing up at Kakashi.
That seemed to get Kakashi to pause and Robin thought he had finally gotten through to the man. "I..uh," seemed he was at a loss for words for the first time since Robin has met him.
Robin didn't like the hesitation at all, more-so because he was annoyed and less because he was worried about the sudden silence. "Come on, Kakashi, I can handle it." Did he not want them to leave? Or did he have some other way to get rid of Grima? Whatever it was, Robin needed and deserved to know. But, the more Robin pressed him the more flustered and overwhelmed Kakashi seemed to get.
Eventually, Robin just sighed and shook his head, leaning back on his hands. "If you can't give me a coherent answer then I'm fighting Grima. Alone." He answered, not even looking at Kakashi as he spoke. He didn't really like the idea of dying – who would? - but if it meant keeping all the others safe then he'd do it with no hesitation, just as he would back home.
"I can't lose someone else I care about, okay?!" Kakashi finally answered and dropped his head into his hands with another tired groan. "I can't lose you." He repeated, much quieter than the first time.
Robin finally just shut up and looked at him, his mouth hanging open. He…wasn't entirely sure what to say to that, if he were to be honest. It had sort of come out of nowhere, as far as Robin was aware. But, the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. "…what?" even with all that time to think of an answer, all Robin managed to croak out was a pathetic and painfully generic question that wouldn't do anything for either of them.
Even with how basic the question was, Kakashi didn't answer. He didn't even move from where he sat, keeping his head in his hands and his shoulders hunched. Even so, Robin could see the tips of his ears starting to go red. Oh. He was serious. Oh gods.
The longer Kakashi stayed silent, the redder Robin's face was and he found himself looking away as well, trying to quell the blush covering his face. "You, uh, don't have to be embarrassed, Kakashi," he said after a moment, sounding more awkward than he ever had before, which was saying something.
Kakashi sighed and lifted his head, but his eye was still trained firmly on the ground. Robin could barely look him in the face without his own face heating up again. "Why do you look so depressed? You act like I turned you down or something," Robin said after a moment, leaning his elbows on his knees again and fiddling anxiously with his fingers. That got Kakashi's attention. "I, uh, guess you kind of took the words out of my mouth?" he said after a moment, though it came out more as a question than a statement. He was still a little…confused about his own emotions at the moment – who could blame him, though? – but thinking about Kakashi going against Grima alone scared him more than he would like to admit.
Before Robin could really process what was going on, he was pulled into a tight hug, his face pressed into Kakashi's chest. "That's why I can't let you do this – I can't let you face him alone." His voice was painfully quiet and meek sounding and Robin's chest ached. He didn't want Kakashi sounding like that, not for his case.
After a moment, Robin reached up and wrapped his own arms around Kakashi's waist, letting out a shaky breath. "And that's why I can't let you live through everything he can do. You don't deserve it," he answered, his own voice just as quiet and weak as Kakashi's was. Both scenarios scared him, but seeing someone else he cared for going through the torture scared him far more than his own mortality.
"I can't lose you like…" Kakashi trailed off, keeping his arms wound tightly around Robin's shoulder, as though he was scared Robin would run off if he let go. And Robin couldn't really blame him for feeling that way.
Robin gave him a tight squeeze. "I can't let it be my fault that you get hurt or die. I can't let someone else I love go through this again," he said softly, trying to keep his emotions under control.
Kakashi pushed Robin back by his shoulders, his eye bright with too many emotions for Robin to decipher. "And do you think I can?" his voice shook and tears were brimming in his eye. "I've lost everyone, I can't lose you too!" he said, his fingers digging almost painfully into Robin's shoulders as he held him in place.
"It won't be your fault!" Robin's voice cracked and shook with emotion as well, trying his best not to burst into tears. "If I let you or anyone else here fall to him, I really will be useless! What's the point in fighting if I have nothing left to fight for?" he asked, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down a bit.
Kakashi's grip grew even tighter. "It won't matter! You'll be dead!" he snapped before suddenly going silent, his eyes clouding over. The grip on Robin's shoulder loosened until his hands were just resting on them.
Robin stared at him for a moment before reaching up and pulling him down to his level. "Kakashi, I need you to come back to me. Do you understand?" he cupped Kakashi's jaw in both hands and forced the man to look at him. Kakashi stared at him blankly for a moment before reaching up and resting his hands on Robin's wrists. After a moment of staring at each other, Robin spoke again. "Are you okay, Kakashi?" he asked softly, still not looking away from him and Kakashi nodded, staying silent.
Robin let out a soft sigh of relief and started pulling his hands back. "Are you going to be alright?" it was rough going through an attack like that, he could sympathize, and their conversation could wait until Kakashi was back on his feet again.
Kakashi nodded again, his eyes still dull compared to earlier. "Yeah. I…I think I need to go for a walk," he said, clearing his throat and pulling away.
Robin watched him with a worried frown. "Do you want me to go with you?" he asked after a moment of silence, already reaching for his boots again to put them on. After that, he wasn't too keen on leaving Kakashi on his own.
Kakashi simply shook his head. "No. I'll be fine." He didn't give Robin the chance to respond before leaving. Robin stared out the door after him for a moment before sighing quietly and dropping back onto his cot. So much for relaxing.