Forever Forward

Author Notes: Hi, guys! Just a few quick thoughts about the journey ahead of you. This is my first fanfiction ever! It is my attempt at a character study and the internal struggles they face. I've been a Final Fantasy fan for the majority of my life and these characters have found a way to really pull me in! I hope you enjoy the story, but be warned! This fiction contains some really violent/graphic scenes at times, (as well as a bit of romance), so please do not read if that sort of stuff bothers you! Also I'm always happy for reviews and constructive criticism! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII or any of its character, though I'm going to borrow them for a short while here! This is purely for the fun of expanding on their stories!

Prologue:

So much pain…burning and tearing away inside. It hurt so much, her heart raw and angry, an aching lump in her chest. Yet, it continued to beating warily, with an unshakable determination, even as the pain ate away at her sanity, causing her soul to twist with anguish and worry. How much longer? Was it worth this endless misery? The fear? The uncertainty? The longing?

She sat there watching him, her handsome blonde hero. He was too busy to look at her…focusing instead on picking up toppled chairs and brushing broken glass off the table. Another fight. They were always fighting, pointless bickering that did nothing more than distract them from their real pain, their inevitable and ultimate clash of wills. But she still loved him. Still couldn't imagine her life without him in it. She'd given him everything. Everything she'd had to offer. Her commitment, her love, her body…he'd loved her too for that once, but now…so much had changed. They'd been through so much in five short years that none of them could stay the same, so many secrets uncovered and laid bare. They'd all changed, grown, faced their darkness and embraced a new and better world…especially Cloud. He'd finally conquered what seemed to be the last of his demons. Finally, achieved some sense of peace in the world, but now…in his new life…she didn't have a place by his side. He didn't want her anymore.

To be honest, it'd started years ago…the first time he laid eyes on her. Aries, the last of her kind, the last Ancient, beautiful, caring, perfect…everything Tifa tried to be, but it wasn't enough. She just couldn't be who he wanted. She'd never really had a chance.

Cloud put the last chair back under the table, riveted on the task while she sat anxiously on the counter in her oversized night-shirt, watching him. She'd seen him mad before, insanely mad before... it was nothing new. He'd always had a temper, a tendency for that self-destructive brooding of his.

"Cloud…"

"I don't want to hear it, Tifa. You're right, as always. Let's just leave it at that and call it a night." Wariness in that voice…exhaustion.

He had his back to her as he swept the glass into a dustpan, anything…anything not to look at her. But she had to know. "Cloud?" He ignored her, dumping the shattered mess into the trash, another one of her antique glasses, a firm frown set on his handsome face. Tifa's eyes followed his every move, watching the way his muscles tensed and relaxed under his tight fitting clothes, stress etching his body into strong, hard lines. "Cloud?" He stopped what he was doing and turned to face her, Mako enhanced blue eyes snapping in annoyance. "What?" he demanded, not hiding the irritation in his voice.

"Do you still love me?" There was no mistaking the surprise on his face at her question, bellied only by that frustrated anger that seemed so much a part of him.

"Tifa…"

"It's a simple question, Cloud. Do you love me or not?"

He fidgeted nervously, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. His bright blue eyes focused on her face. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he stuttered out, "Yes…of course, I do."

But Tifa knew better, she knew that hesitation of his better than she knew herself at times. Silent tears started to pool in the corners of her burgundy eyes, but she wouldn't cry, not now, not in front of him. She'd shed too many tears over him as it was.

A deep breath did little to steady her nerves as she hopped down off the counter, shaking her head ever so slightly. She couldn't face this right now…not without coming apart at the seams.

"I'm going to bed. Don't stay up too late." And with that she left, without so much as a backward glance, leaving him standing in the kitchen with nothing but a ruthless sense of defeat and the bitter taste of inevitability. And Cloud, with his weighty regret and haunted mind, simply watched her go.

For over a year now things had been dicey at best, though neither was ready to admit it. Tifa had known Cloud her entire life, even if they hadn't been the greatest of friends as children. Actually, she hadn't really noticed him at all as a child, but he had her. He joined SOLDIER because of her, determined to prove his worth and impress her. It wasn't until he was gone that she realized how much she'd missed him, but it was too late…he'd disappeared. For years she heard nothing. No one really knew what had happened to Cloud Strife from Nibelheim. Then one day, she found him collapsed and alone on the steps next to the Midigar Train Station, face bloody and smeared with dirt. It had been one of the happiest days of her life. He was alive, a little dirty and confused, sure, but back where she could keep an eye on him, a piece of the puzzle that was her life now snuggly back in its place.

That day…that day had been a turning point like no other. One that set her on the path towards reconciling her past and becoming stronger then she'd ever thought she could be. Reuniting with Cloud had been both one of the best and worst thing to happen to her. But, something was wrong with him. Something that she still didn't understand, even now, had happened to him, changing him from a child full of eager dreams and fragile hopes to a brooding, reluctant shadow of himself.

Tifa sighed in frustration, pressing a tired hand to her aching forehead. But that was five years ago, and still Cloud loved Aeris, probably still blamed himself for her untimely death, though he claimed he was over it all. That girl…so sweet, so innocent, a saving angel for them all; meeting her had brought out a part of Cloud that Tifa had never seen and was afraid he'd never have back again. That caring, devoted, insanely protective part of him that she'd always suspected he'd had buried inside. In just a few short weeks Aeris had stolen his heart…taking it with her when she died…leaving none…nothing for the rest of them. And as much as she wanted to hate the girl, she couldn't. Aeris had been an amazing person after all and some things just weren't meant to be. She knew that, had always known it. Though it seemed it would take more than a few years to finally come to terms with it all.

Tifa grabbed a handful of the bed sheets in a tight fist. She didn't know how much more of this she could handle. Weariness settled over her like a heavy blanket, warm and familiar, but restricting…suffocating. She was tired, her life an emotional roller coaster. Maybe all she needed was a break… to go somewhere and clear her head, somewhere without Cloud for a while. That thought alone eased the pressure in her chest. Well, she could worry about all that later. Right now it was time for bed; she had a bar to run tomorrow after all, and no one wanted a sulky, irritated bar tender.

Shortly after Tifa had fallen asleep Cloud came to bed, even in the dark able to see the creased lines on her forehead and along the corners of her mouth as she cringed in her sleep. But she was still beautiful; he'd be a complete fool not to see it. Her long dark brown hair was shorter than it used to be, coming to her lower back instead of below her bottom like it had in years past. She still had the same shapely curves, her muscles toned and evenly placed from years of Martial Arts training. All in all, she was a beautiful woman of twenty-six. She was everything he'd ever wanted, until he'd met Aeris. Suddenly his whole world had changed; nothing had mattered except for her, loving her, protecting her. But Aeris died. He'd watched her die and he continued to watch her die every night in his dreams.

He would finally be with her, happy, sitting in a field of lush green, watching the clouds roll lazily by, just talking; just holding each other. But the sky would turn black, the once soft breeze changing into a raging hurricane that pulled at their cloths and hair. Aeris would cling to him, her impossibly green eyes desperate for him to save her. But he could never hold on tight enough…she was always swept away in the storm.

"Damn it…not this, not now." Cloud stared at the ceiling sending silent prayers to whoever would listen…make this end. He knew he didn't love Tifa…at least not the way she wanted. He would always love her as a friend and a companion. But even their physical relationship didn't bind him to her. He'd never really looked into her eyes when they'd had sex, he never really saw her…the eyes that stared back at him were always green, bright Mako green.

But she was dead. Dead. Never to return, never needing to feel his arms around her. Cloud reached a trembling hand to his face surprised at the tears in his eyes. How many times had he cried for her? A hundred? A thousand? He shifted his gaze to the sleeping form next to him. Tifa…kind, loving, devoted Tifa. His Tifa…no one else's. He'd lost her once, and it had tormented him, he wouldn't lose her again…no matter how much they fought, she was all he had left. Aspirin for his proverbial migraine, though it never completely went away. She held him together and at the same time drove him insane with her quiet torment and knowing eyes.

He watched her a moment longer before settling down on his back under the sheets, arms crossed behind his head, spiky blond hair pillowing around him. He waited impatiently for sleep to come, staring at the ceiling till his eyes were strained and blood shot, mind racing. Eventually it did, but promised little rest.