Viktor hasn't been on the ice since Yuuri left.
His voice seems like a distant memory, painfully far from Viktor's reach, but yet still there. His shy laughter, his cute smile, his rosy blush. The strengths and weaknesses, the surprises and the non-surprises, everything. Yuuri Katsuki seems like a distant memory, a mere, fleeting moment that Viktor cannot (and does not want) to forget. Every day, he remembers all that Yuuri Katsuki is, all that Yuuri Katsuki was; for he is the one that truly knows Yuuri - even more than Yuuri knows himself - and one doesn't ever forget who that blinding angel of the ice is.
That angel of the ice. The one that that has both blessed him and cast him into sin. He is engraved in Viktor's heart, mind, and soul. He is every fiber of Viktor's being, the only man that can keep the champion together.
(And now he is gone. He is gone and Viktor unravels.)
Without Yuuri, without his angel of the ice, Viktor is meaningless. The flame that burned brightly died as quickly as it started, now nothing more that a wispy trail of smoke. It is not an understatement to say that Viktor Nikiforov is not whole without Yuuri Katsuki. He is incomplete, and unfinished tale that will never see its end. The life that had intertwined so intricately with his has came and went, leaving the Russian lost, undefined, purposeless.
(It was Yuuri's decision, he always tries to remind himself. It was Yuuri's decision to retire, to leave the ice for good, and Viktor knows he cannot change that, but God knows he wishes he could. Just go back in time and convince him to stay, stay close to me.)
Sometimes, Viktor wonders. He wonders if Yuuri feels the way he does: the heartache, the everlasting pain, the loss, the death of who he once was. He wonders if he left this icy world (Viktor's world) with regrets. He wonders if they'll ever meet again, pick up right where they left off, and reignite the flame.
He wonders, and that is all he can do. Wonder uselessly for a dying dream. Wonder uselessly about a fallen angel.
Viktor hasn't been on the ice since Yuuri left.
There is nothing there for him anymore.
heyo. bonjour. ciao. i crossposted this from this yuri on ice amino (amino is this app where you can join many different communities for whatever fandoms you're into, like yoi or inuyasha or one punch man or smash bros. anything). i added a bit more to it because i wrote the original story at, like, one a.m. and i was tired af so therefore, i had to make the story a little less shitty.
(if you're on the yoi amino, you should totally look for me and stuff. my name's Yuuri Katsuki's My Aesthetic. yep)