Disclaimer: I do not own any character of Narnia, except for they cute delivery boy, Eric and the pathetic telegram and letter.
She sat on the bed, fingering the pink blanket. Susan's eyes were burning, red and puffy, her face was moist with tears and her throat felt raw. "Why did they have to go?" she whispered, coughing slightly. Her mind played back to the last time she had seen her siblings."Susan! We're going!" Lucy called out to her sister.
"I know you are, Lu. I still think you've all wasted your money, buying train tickets to go see that silly fantasy in your heads, Susan replied harshly, applying some mascara to her eyelashes.
"It's not a fantasy!! Lady Polly and Professor Diggory said that it's all real – they're coming with us!!" Lucy argued.
"They're quite irresponsible, just like your brothers, encouraging you all the time! I know very well Eustace and that other girl went off somewhere and you're rather stupid for running after him. Narnia, indeed!" Susan sneered.
"Don't talk to Lucy like that!" Peter exclaimed. He and Edmund had appeared at the door.
"Yeah, Su, just because you've already crushed your greatest moments, doesn't mean that you have to do the same to Lucy's!" Edmund snapped.
"OH MY GOODNESS! This has to stop! Peter, you're the oldest – act responsible for once! We all know Narnia is just some made up game in our heads, but now it's gotten a step too far! You're all insane!! Get on that stupid train and I won't hesitate to tell you all that I told you so when you come back from nowhere!" Susan spat, turning away from the mirror to face them.
"Don't you remember any of it Susan? Don't you want to remember? The mountains, the trees, talking animals, the sea, the forests or even your bow and arrow?" Lucy begged.
"Bow and arrow? Lucy, are you mad? They're barbaric things we only see in movies!" Susan laughed.
"Cair Paravel? Telmarine? The Nymphs? Dryads?" Peter joined in.
"Oh, Peter! You're just as bad!" Susan retorted.
"Please don't tell me you've forgotten Mr. Tumnus, Reepicheep, Trufflehunter, Trumpkin, the Beavers, Miraz or the White Witch! Don't tell me you've forgotten Aslan," Edmund whispered the last line, looking his sister in the eye. Susan shook her head as though he was a child.
"Well, then, what about Caspian? Have you forgotten him too?" demanded Edmund.
Susan stood still, her face very pale. "I don't know what you're talking about. He was another made-up character in this made-up world, wasn't he?" she hissed and turned around again.
"Well…we're off then," Peter sighed and left the room. Edmund followed him silently.
"Bye Susan," Lucy whispered.
"Goodbye Lu. Have fun," Susan replied. Lucy walked up to her and squeezed Susan's hand.
"While we're gone can you please try to remember? And tell me if you do when we get back," Lucy requested, pecked her sister on the cheek and ran out of the room.
They never did come back. Susan's mind then ran to when she had opened the door to a knock. It was Eric, the delivery boy, who was very good looking.
"Hello, Eric," she smiled at him shyly. He didn't look too happy.
"Telegram for you…its not good news," Eric replied and handed her the sheet of paper:
Dear Ms. Susan Pevensie,
I am very sorry to say that Edmund Pevensie, Lucy Pevensie and Peter Pevensie have perished in a train crash in London at 9:15. Their bodies have not been found or identified but we were able to track down their names.
Please contact us if you have anything to discuss.
Regards,
The Station Master
(A/N: I made that up, so excuse the weirdness of that letter)
Susan's mouth trembled, hot tears spilled down her cheeks as she sat on the doorstep, tracing her siblings' names with her finger. When the truth sank in, she began to bawl and howl.
"Susan…I'm very sorry…I really liked them," Eric said awkwardly.
"Like them? I LOVED them!!" Susan wept. Eric sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Normally Susan would have been thrilled but now it barely gave her comfort.
"I was so mean to them!! I told all three of them their games were babyish! I yelled at Lucy, I snapped at Edmund and I told Peter that he was irresponsible…and then they died!! They didn't deserve it…they just didn't…why…" Susan moaned.
After a few more minutes of crying, Susan told Eric she had to call her parents, who were away on a business dealing, so he left.
Susan's heart was aching and she had no more tears to cry. "I wish I could have told them I loved them," she said to no one and lay down on her bed to sleep.
Dreams immediately filled her head…she was running into a wardrobe with her siblings and then she felt snow, Lucy led them to a destroyed house, the Beavers, wolves, losing Edmund, Aslan, Aslan's death, his resurrection, the White Witch, the battle, the crowning, growing up, hunting, the lamp post, returning home, the train station, the sea, destroyed Cair Paravel, Trumpkin, Reepicheep, Caspian, her horn, her bow and arrow, the Dryads, Aslan talking to her and Peter and then…she was kissing Caspian…
Susan gasped and sat up in her bed. Tears began to roll down her cheeks. Narnia. It really had been real, not a game…how could she have forgotten? And then she remembered what Eustace had told her, right after he had returned from his second visit to Narnia, he and Jill had taken a train to go see their Pevensie cousins.
"This is all quite interesting, Eustace, but I just want to understand something…who's Prince Rillian?" she had asked.
"He's King Caspian's son of course! It was his mother that got bitten by the snake. Oh, yes, I forgot to mention…er, Caspian kind of died…he was very old, apparently he was very upset over his wife's death even though it was a long time ago and then his son disappeared…poor chap – but then he came back to life and he was just like I knew him from before – he was my age again! And he was laughing and he even came to this world and then he went back…" Eustace had replied shiftily, not wanting to talk about his friend's death and resurrection.
"…He got married?" Susan asked gently.
"Yes," Jill replied.
Susan's eyes filled up with tears at the thought of the dark-haired, brown-eyed boy who she had fallen for and how he had forgotten her in the end.
"I can' believe it," Susan whispered.
"Neither can we," Peter said, wrapping an arm around his sister.
"How could he do that? I thought he loved me! I mean…it's almost like he betrayed me…" Susan said, tears were running down her face.
"It must have been hard for him too, sis. I mean, you were never going to return and he guessed that he should move on, he needed an heir anyway, so…" Edmund shrugged.
"We could have been together! Aslan stopped us – he stopped both of us," Susan growled turning to Peter.
"I know, sis. But it's Aslan…he had his reasons and when he did stop us from going, we still loved him," Peter replied soothingly.
"They all betrayed us! Aslan gave us Narnia and then took it away from us, Caspian gave me love and now he's taken it away and given it to someone else," Susan sobbed.
"Maybe so, but if you had returned to Narnia, Caspian would still be ancient and now he's dead…or a ghost…or something in between," Eustace reasoned.
"I wouldn't have had to return if I had stayed, but Aslan said I had to go…and I listened…I was a fool. I'm so stupid," Susan gurgled and ran out of the room.
…Caspian. That's why she had forced herself to forget Narnia – because she thought no one would love her there. She remembered how Caspian's lips had burned against hers, filling her heart with happiness and desire. After she had decided to leave Narnia behind, she had never felt that way again.
"Oh, please, Aslan, I'm sorry," Susan begged, tears falling from her eyes once again. Nothing happened.
"ASLAN! PLEASE! I SAID I'M SORRY!! I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD LUCY TO STOP BELIEVING, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD EDMUND HE WAS ACTING LIKE A BABY, I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID IT WAS PETER'S FAULT AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE DOUBTED OR GIVEN UP ON YOU!" Susan screamed. She began sobbing again.
"At least let me know they're safe…please keep them peaceful…please Aslan. I know it's a lot to ask, but let me return to Narnia one more time, Aslan…just to say sorry," Susan whispered to herself. She closed her eyes and rocked back and forth.
A gentle breeze hit her face and she felt warmth spread through her body all the way to her fingertips. She opened her eyes and there was Narnia – the talking trees, the dancing water, the abnormal animals. She was standing at the bottom of a tall, grassy hill, with her bow and arrows strung on her back and she was wearing her red Narnian dress.
At the top of the hill stood a large golden lion which gave off an eerily comforting light and behind him stood Edmund, Peter, Lucy and Caspian, all grinning down at her. She gave a laugh and started to race up the hill as fast as she could and when she finally reached the top, she leapt on to the lion, engulfing him in a hug.
"Oh, thank you, Aslan, thank you!" Susan laughed.
"My dear, listen, now you have to make a choice. You are have not perished as your siblings have, so you have choice. You do not have to stay in Narnia forever as they do, but you must return immediately if you wish to live on Earth," Aslan said softly.
"Can't it just be like last time?" Susan asked, referring to the Golden Time.
"No, my dear. I'm sorry, but time cannot wait for you or your siblings any more," Aslan replied. Susan chewed her lip and then looked up at her friends.
"We're not holding you back, Su," Peter said softly.
"Yeah, I mean, we're dead, but you're not," Edmund gave a small laugh.
Caspian was blushing. The last time they had seen each other, Caspian's lips had been against hers and then he had gotten married, so it was obvious things had gotten uncomfortable.
"Well, what do you say, Lu?" Susan asked her little sister. Lucy's eyes filled up with tears and she ran and hugged her sister. The two girls began to cry together and the boys stared at them incredulously.
"Women!" Edmund exclaimed, clearly baffled and Peter laughed.
"I just want to know if you still believe in Narnia," Lucy whispered to her.
"Yes, Lu, yes I do," Susan declared.
"We kind of heard you praying and all. Kind of the reason you're here. So stupid question Lucy," Edmund grinned cheekily.
"A-Aslan…I'd like to stay in Narnia," Susan said bravely.
"Then you shall, Queen Susan the Gentle," Aslan replied and gave a mighty roar. A view like a kind of screen opened in the sky and they looked up to see an image of Susan in her bedroom with her eyes closed and slowly, the girls disappeared and in her place stood a piece of paper. A similar piece of paper appeared next to them and the portal disappeared. Susan picked up the paper. It read:
Dear Mum and Dad,
I've gone to Narnia with Edmund, Lucy and Peter. If you want to see what I'm talking about, just say 'Take me to Narnia, Aslan' and you will be here with us. It's not a game.
I will always love you,
Susan
"Thank you, Aslan," Susan sighed.
"Yes, my dear," Aslan nodded his head and leapt into the distance. Edmund, Lucy and Peter gave cries of laughter and began to run down the other side of the hill, so only Caspian and Susan remained.
"Susan, I'm so sorry. You have to understand how much I love you and…and…I had to take a queen eventually and do you know why I chose they woman I finally married?" Caspian asked her. Susan shook her head silently.
"Because she reminded so much of you…and I used to tell her stories about you and how wonderful you were and she always knew it was you I loved and she never said a word…I still love you, Susan. In fact, I never stopped," Caspian whispered.
"What about that other woman?" Susan asked.
"She died," Caspian replied.
'Oh, I'm so sorry, I totally forgot, I-I-your son and all, I just blanked," Susan stuttered, blushing.
"It's okay, Su. My son had his time as King and now, I hope, we will have ours together once more. If you can forgive me," Caspian reassured her.
"I definitely think I can," Susan whispered and their lips met.
That night, the remade Cair Paravel held a feast where the four thrones stood, where the Sons of Adam and the Daughters of Eve would sit. An extra throne had been added for the rightful king of Narnia to sit on. That night, Aslan placed the five crowns on their heads, Peter in the middle, Caspian and Edmund on each of his sides, Lucy next to Edmund and Susan next to Caspian, they were crowned once again the Kings and Queens of Narnia and they forever remained children and at peace.