-I can hold my breath, I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days, if that's what you want
Be your number one
I can fake a smile, I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask, give you all I am-
Evan would do anything to earn the respect of the other heroes. Honest to the goddesses anything. But nothing he ever did was good enough; he was nothing but a replacement for Freud. Successor. What a pretty little word for a replacement.
From the start, none of the heroes had liked him. It was obvious from the get-go. But he tried so hard.
It hurt the worst when they called him Freud...
Evan sat alone in some room upon the Lumiere, amazed by all the finery as he inelegantly tucked into some toast, crumbs getting upon his smiling face. Today, as he was alone, was one of the days he felt okay. When he had faith that they would beat the Black Mage, and maybe he could even make amends with Phantom, Mercedes and the others.
Until Phantom stumbled in and all of a sudden he was too close, his breath stank of alcohol and Evan could see a desperate sort of pain in his eyes.
"Freud."
"My name's not-" Evan began to protest, flinching at the name, but then a pair of lips pressed into his harshly.
The brunette felt sick to his stomach. He was being used. And then there were tears dripping down his cheeks and Phantom was pulling away, walking away like nothing had happened, all the while Evan brushed his fingers over his lips, because that had been his first kiss.
Maybe I should just become the Freud that they want...
"I can't take this anymore," Evan whispered miserably.
-But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human...-
Everything Evan did was wrong. They were always yelling at him for something.
Evan, stop running off, you need to train.
Evan, how the hell could you ever have fallen for the Black Wings' tricks?
Evan, quit being such an idiot.
And maybe worse than the words were the looks. Aran, Mercedes, Luminous, Phantom... They all looked at Evan like he was the scum of Maple.
He'd had enough.
"Freud-"
"STOP IT!" Evan shouted, tears in his eyes, at the stunned elven woman before him, whose slender, pale hand was outstretched, paused in its way to his shoulder. "Don't you get it?!" He whispered. "I'm not him. I'll never be him."
Mercedes's eyes narrowed.
"You're a disgrace to his name," She said simply, turning away in a haughty motion.
She left him a shattered mess, built up to something he had never been, and then broken down.
Flames licked hungrily at the house Evan called home, burning away every bit of his childhood that didn't rest in his memories. All he could do was watch, horrified and trembling, lunch threatening to rise from his stomach and onto the ground.
And then he was running, ignoring the shouts of Phantom behind him to instead kick open the warped door and run recklessly through the house. His home.
The flames were uncomfortably hot around him but it didn't matter, he had to make sure-
And he shoved himself into the door to his parents bedroom, terrified of what he'd find and oh Goddess.
Everything was wrong-
The sickening image of the black wing sigil carved into his parents' and his brother's foreheads upon their decapitated heads would haunt Evan for the rest of his life.
Evan threw up.
"Get over it. All of us have lost precious people. All you can do is carry on."
And Evan broke down crying because he just couldn't do this anymore.
I want to go home...
AN: hi I can't write ;w;