Black Holes and Chappys

"Eeew, Renji, what is this?" To Renji's embarrassment, Rukia was holding up something that looked suspiciously like his underwear. He grabbed it from her and threw it back on the pile of hakama he had forgotten to wash.

"It's nothing," he muttered.

"Your face is as red as your hair." She commented.

"Is not!"

"Is too," she said matter-of-factly. "Now have you found the thing you were looking for? I want to leave." She surveyed Renji's room critically, hands on her hips. "Renji, your room is a mess."

"Oh really," his voice came, muffled by the… objects he was searching through. "I never noticed."

"Really Renji, it's kind of obvious."

"I was being sarcastic." He rolled his eyes and threw a pair of tabi (socks) onto the growing pile forming to the side of him.

"Is that a juice box?" She asked, spotting the square-shaped container lying on Renji's table, straw lying next to it.

"No" he lied.

"Are you still trying to figure out how to use it?"

"No!"

"Ah, how kawaii!" He whipped around. Lucky me, he thought. Rukia had turned her gaze from the juice box and saw instead her birthday present- a Chappy doll which she picked up and hugged to death. Done adoring the doll, she turned to him. "What's Chappy doing in your room?"

"Well… uh." Renji fumbled for the right words.

"OMG, don't tell me you like Chappy too?!" She squealed and Renji wished that he could die right then and there.

"What does 'OMG' mean?" He asked instead.

"I don't know." She thought for a minute. "I know! No, never mind. Anyway… you never answered MY question. What is Chappy doing in your room?"

"Well… it's…"

"Chappy is NOT an it!"

"Fine, 'he'! He is for somebody."

"Who's Chappy for?" She looked… jealous, he thought.

"For… uh… you," He mumbled the last part.

"For me?"

"Uh, yeah," He scratched his head sheepishly. Play along, he told himself. "Happy Birthday!"

"Renji, my birthday isn't until January; it's the middle of June."

"Okay fine!" He kicked a pile of clothes and it fell onto his foot. "Yarrrgghhh" He pushed it away and Rukia smirked. "I saw it when I went to the human world and I wasn't sure if it would be there by January! So I bought it!"

"How'd you buy it?"

"I used Ichigo's money."

"Renji Abarai!" Rukia threw Chappy at his head and he ducked and caught Chappy. Renji then transferred the stuffed bunny onto his head as Rukia chucked things at him.

"How… many… times… do… I… have… to… tell… you!" With every word she threw something else at him.

Socks, underwear, a hakama, they all flew towards Renji, who ducked or used Chappy to bat them away from his face.

"He said I could when I told him it was for you!"

Suddenly, things stopped flying at him and Renji peeked out from behind Chappy.

"Oh, you could have told me sooner." She said.

"I was trying to!" he protested. "You were too busy throwing things at me!"

"Oh," she paused and then almost hesitantly asked: "Can I take Chappy with me?"

"Ah, just don't expect anything else for your birthday."

"You're so mean Renji!" She pouted and Renji tossed Chappy into her arms. Her face went from pouty to angel-like in an instant. He sighed.

"I got you Chappy didn't I? Now hold on while I go look for something." Renji dug some more in the pile and clearly not finding what he was looking for, went over to the pile under his window.

"What are you looking for?"

"None of your business" he mumbled.

"It is now." Rukia set down Chappy carefully on a conveniently placed table and surveyed the room again. "You won't find anything with your room such a mess you know. First you should clean up and designate a place for every single object." (Like the author can talk)

"I thought we had to go somewhere." Renji grumbled.

"We do, but we can come back and clean afterwards." Rukia had stars in her eyes.

Renji groaned and sifted through a pile of socks.

"Maybe I can help you find what you're looking for."

"I told you, no!" Renji moved on to a bunch of empty bento boxes that had been swept into a corner.

"Why not?" She looked under a few hakama, trying to look for whatever it was that Renji might have lost.

"Fine," She would keep bugging him if he didn't tell her. "I can't find Zabimaru okay!"

"Zabi- RENJI ABARAI WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND ZABIMARU???!!!" Renji winced as Rukia went into lecture mode. "You are a fuku-taichou and you loose your sword! You should be lucky that I don't just tell nii-sama that his fuku-taichou is… Eeek! Renji, what are you doing?" Rukia had suddenly found herself lifted off her feet, and carried bridal-style by her best friend. "Put me down! Renji!"

Ignoring her protests and the fact that she was biting his arm, Renji carried her to the table and set her down next to Chappy. "Stop messing up my room."

"It's already messed up!" Rukia was flustered and she was pretty sure her face was bright red at the intimacy of Renji. She had forgotten what it felt like to be lifted so easily and carried. The last time was when Ichigo had flown her at Renji and Renji had fell over catching her and then whisked her away from her execution. Remembering that, she remembered that she had rather liked being in his arms. She shook her head and crossed her legs on the table. Grabbing Chappy, she watched Renji search for his missing sword. What strange thoughts she had…

Minutes passed and Renji grew more frantic. Kuchiki-taichou would kill him (no really)! He could just imagine going up to the Kuchiki and saying: "Oy, taichou! I can't find Zabimaru… yeah; I think he's under my underwear." He wouldn't even get to finish his sentence, he imagined.

"Hey," Apparently Rukia had decided to abandon Chappy in favor of searching through Renji's room. "Renji, I think I found…" She never got to finish her sentence before a pile of underwear fell on her head. Rukia panicked at that point (I mean, who wouldn't?) and slipped on a stray underwear and fell.

Renji didn't even have time to yell, "Don't open my closet!" He rushed over to her and helped her up, underwear scattered around them.

She smiled weakly at him. "I found Zabimaru." In one hand she held the elusive sword.

"Uh thanks." Renji turned red. "Uh… Rukia…"

"What?"

"You have underwear on your head."

Soon after, poor Chappy was left alone in Renji's room, with only the fading sounds of running and "I'll get you Renji Abarai!" to keep him company in the black hole of Renji's room.