On That Day
by: Paio Ichiris Jin
When Tsuna died that day…
I felt a piece of me die along with him, forever.
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When Tsuna died that day,
The fire and chaos in my heart spiraled to an incomparable climax. A climatic anger that could withstand even the guilt of killing a thousand men for absolutely no reason or the nauseous stench of a million corpses in my hands or the harshest torture because losing him was the most harshest torture. And I howled at the midnight moon and at the stormy clouds in that dark sky and cursed the gods for taking away the kindest person ever known to mankind. For taking him back to where he had descended from.
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When Tsuna died that day…
I felt a piece of me die along with him, forever.
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When Tsuna died that day,
For the first time in my lifetime, I felt lost. Lost in an ever misty maze full of overgrown mazes and unable to even fathom what I would do next. What I would do with him gone.
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When Tsuna died that day…
I felt a piece of me die along with him, forever.
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When Tsuna died that day,
Through my shivering tears, I finally realized what he meant to me.
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When Tsuna died that day…
I felt a piece of me die along with him, forever.
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When Tsuna died that day,
My heart ached for the first time. And somehow, I felt a desire to run away. To run away into the far reaching clouds of the sky so that I could never look backwards and see that coffin and the lifeless body lying within. The body that I could never watch move again, or talk again, or smile again.
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When Tsuna died that day…
I felt a piece of me die along with him, forever.
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When Tsuna died that day,
For an entire week, the sun beat upon my back passionately, urging me to spring into action again. Yet, I felt no desire to speak. To seal my lips closed, out of respect for the strongest man I had ever acknowledged, and to silently wait until my voice would stop wavering in that pitiful tone everytime I spoke his name.
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When Tsuna died that day…
I felt a piece of me die along with him, forever.
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When Tsuna died that day,
I stood in the cold and heavy rain that was descending from where he existed, and I could not hide my anguish behind a practiced steel mask any longer. And I felt for the second time, almost more painful than the first time, what it felt like to cry for a most precious person, who brought me warmth just by being by my side, but no longer existed here, beside me.
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When Tsuna died that day…
I felt a piece of me die along with him, forever.
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When Tsuna died that day,
I trembled as if I had been struck by the first bolt of lightning before a storm, finally understanding what it meant when a person said that we lived in reality. And as I stared at the open coffin and that invincible person seemingly sleeping among those sweet and pure flowers, I choked down a sob and realized, for the first time, that even he could disappear one day. Even he could.
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When Tsuna died that day…
I felt a piece of me die along with him, forever.
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When Tsuna died that day,
I stood at the back quietly, clutching my staff to myself, and then stared at the faces on all the people standing in the field, with the coffin in the middle. I wondered, why were their faces so different from yesterday? I thought as hard as I could but I still could not understand. But even so, I felt something wet trickle down my cheeks and I wondered to myself if maybe my face also looked like theirs, so strangely different from yesterday.
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When Tsuna died that day…
I smiled in delight, knowing that the sky that had used to engulf and embrace all of them together had at last disappeared. I knew what would happen to the Vongola clan once their flawless leader left them. And that was when I would have my opportune moment to strike.
END.