It had been five days since Cedrick's death. Harry didn't know if he could ever smile again. So he decided to go have sex with Draco to make him feel better. He had never had sex before, but Hermione told him that it was good. She was such a whore.
So Harry walked into the Slytherin common room and found him hanging out with Crabbe and Goyle and they were all playing Monopoly.
"Hey Harry," Draco said.
"You guys are dorks."
"Yeah, I know. Hey, wanna go to Goodwill?" Draco asked.
"Oh boy!" Harry shouted so loud that it scared Crabbe and Goyle away. "Boy boy boy do I ever!"
Five minutes later they were perusing the scarves at the local Goodwill. Harry found this adorable pink scarf, but Draco stopped him. "Look at these earrings. O. M. G. I want my ears pierced just so I can wear these."
The earrings looked so cute with little purple Rainbow Dash ponies dangling from a large smiley face. And they were only 2.99! What a steal!
Harry wore them while they had sex later and they jangled and jangled like a musical instrument. "Hermione is such a huge whore."
"I.T.A." Harry said. They had magiced it so they were both on top. Since neither of them were having sex with Hermione neither of them had to worry about STDs. It was a good way to lose their virginity.
THE END