Bodie looked over the Thames at the House of Parliament and muttered. He knew Doyle was going to be late but then again he was a reluctant partner in all of this. Collins in encryption had set it up. For reasons unbenown to man , Collins always seemed to have stunning women around. More Donald Pleasance than Donny Osmond , he was no one's idea of Adonis.
" It's the chat you see " Collins had once told Bodie , while simultaneously demolishing a wimpy burger. A piece of lettuce stuck to his lower lip. " They love the old banter and it just so happens that nature blessed me with a silver tongue". He practically leered when he said it . Bodie noticed that Collins tongue was more mustard than silver. Mind you Collins was immensely useful , unsackable and owed Bodie one.
" This spanish bird , she's gorgeous , blond and six foot with a lot up top . You know what I mean " . Collins had actually winked and made a cupping gesture. Bodie winced. His dry streak had been going on for six weeks and he was prepared to put up with this oaf. " Turns out that I'm seeing Elsie that night so I thought of my mate Bodie ".
What Collins had neglected to mention was that the "spanish bird " had a friend . Bodie had to spend the entire day talking Doyle into what amounted to a double blind date. Eventually , to keep him quiet , Doyle agreed to meet him on the embankment at eight. Bodie had planned to meet the girls at the Stanford at 8.30 and thought he and Ray might need a couple of looseners beforehand.
He looked at his watch . Four minutes past. Bodie noticed a girl near the stone wall on the boundary of the river. She was fighting and losing a battle with a huge rucksack. Some Inter-rail gap year hippy , thought Bodie. He sized her up and thought she was probably more Ray's cup of herbal tea. About six foot with her mousy brown hair cut shoulder length. Any clues as to her figure were purely speculative as she had a heavy check shirt on. Nevertheless Sir Bodie the noble went to the aid of all damsels , fanciable or not.
" Here, Love, let me help me with that " he said
With a surprising turn of speed , the girl swivelled and drove a doubled-fist straight into Bodie's " crown jewels ". As he sank to his knees he desperately hoped Doyle wasn't here to see the mighty SAS warrior felled by a sucker punch to the privates.
" Oh no , youre not Johann…I'm sorry . I'm really sorry " said the girl as she crouched over his wheezing figure " I thought you were my boyfriend. I'm so sorry "
" You..gasp..usually greet your…wheeze…boyfriend like that ?" croaked Bodie.
" Oh no , we had a big fight and he …goes off . I thought it was him , you see " she offered Bodie a hand up. Bodie eyes were watering and he thanked his years of discipline that prevented his automatic response to such an attack. Had she been a threat …..
" Just trying to help…" he said " It's what we do here..help strangers. Then we ignore them on the tube " Where did that come from. He looked at her again. She had a playful expression on her slightly pixie-like face. Sea-green eyes . No make up . So unlike his usual taste yet…
" My apologies Mr Englishman " she said with a smile " I'm not usually hitting strange men in the …capital of England"
Bodie laughed ,unsure of whether she had meant the word play. " Oh yes , London , the throbbing metropolis " he said with a mock wince.
" Now you are making fun of me , Mr Englishman " she said.
" Bodie . It's Bodie " he said " and you might be…"
" I "might be" Fanny Bankers Coen " she laughed" However my real name is Mieke Vatters , from Holland. Here to see your capital and seven others besides "
Bodie thought, I was right about the Inter-Rail.
" Anyway , Mr Bodie from England, I am sure that you have some lovely girl just waiting to ease your pain" she said under slightly lowered eyelids.
" Girl? …No, No . I'm just meeting someone for a drink. He should be here "
" Ah , you are not going with girl then? This is quite common in Holland but here in England you are very brave to be so open about it. If this is your friend then he is very handsome…I can see why you like him" she replied
" Like him…what…you mean …oh it's not like THAT . We're just mates…work colleagues ..i mean ..I'm not gay! " he spluttered
" Who's not gay? " said Doyle arriving at the opportune moment. " Is there something you're not telling me ?" Doyle wasn't really sure what was going on but it seemed like an inescapable opportunity to embarrass his friend.
" No..i mean..er , Mieke Vatters this is my soon-to-be dead colleague Ray Doyle " Bodie was turning pillar box red with embaressment.
" Pleased to meet you , Miss Vatters " said Doyle , recognising that the joke could only be taken so far.
Doyle turned to Bodie and said " I'm late , got held up by our ..manager. I wan't sure if we were meeting here or the Stanford"
" Change of plans " said Bodie . He couldn't believe what he was doing , blowing the chance of a " dead cert " for a stranger. He wanted to spend more time with her , sparring . " Miss Vatters..Mieke has had an upset with her boyfriend. I feel duty bound to redress her somewhat jaded view of our fair country "
Recognising a get lost signal he readied his excuse. Whenever he heard Bodie speaking like a poor man's Shakespeare he knew he had it bad.
" You know what, mate, I'm shattered " said Doyle " I'm heading back to my gaff for a kip ". He headed away in the direction of the Tube.
" He's going fishing at this time of night ?" enquired Mieke
Bodie laughed and picked up the rucksack like a child's toy
" My hero " Mieke laughed and they headed off along the embankment.