In the Feudal Era it was normal for girls to get married around the time they started their monthly cycles. This represents what I think a conversation about marriage would like :). Especially knowing in the end they end up together in my stories.
Sesshomaru flew through the air. He left Jaken behind this time while he went to visit Rin in the village. It was only a few months after Rin's fourteenth birthday. It wasn't really her birthday, she didn't know when it was, so they made up a date and that became the day they celebrated her life. He sent her a gorgeous emerald green silk patterned cloth to make into a kimono. It had embroidery on it in gold and silver that looked like vines climbing a lattice. She squealed in delight when he opened it, the faintest blush crossed her cheeks as she looked at him and bowed her head in thanks for his kindness. There was something else behind those eyes that day. When he arrived, she smelled like blood, but not her own. Sesshomaru questioned her as to who's blood it was. It held the faintest scent of a centipede demon. She didn't give him much of an answer as to how why. She smiled and continued on their walk.
Walks were becoming more frequent during the visits. Moments away from everyone else, he found her conversations to revolve around friends who were getting married, some of the girls her age were already pregnant with their first children. Of the many things he knew Rin was picking up in the village was herbs and midwifery.
The sky was a beautiful orange that day. It was speckled with patches of pink and purple. The air was crisp. As he flew closer to the village that autumn day, her scent seemed absent from the village. He landed lightly in front of Kaede's hut. Kaede was not in her home either. When he turned around he was greeted by the monk and several of his children. The monk's scent gave away his intimidation, "where is Rin?" Sesshomaru's voice was low and almost cruel. She hadn't been in the village in days, couple that with the wide brown eyes of the monk Sesshomaru knew something was amiss.
"She got into a fi…argument with Kaede-sama four days ago," the monk choked on his words, "we haven't seen her since then. She hid her tracks well, Inuyasha isn't here to use his since of smell to find her."
Sesshomaru glared for a moment, then turned towards Kaede's scent. She was in the fields with the scarred hanyou. They were harvesting something that had a putrid scent, perhaps humans thought it smelled good, but to his nose the smell was too strong. He stalked over to Kaede making sure to walk in between the plowed rows of plants, "what did you fight with Rin about?"
"It's nice to see you too Sesshomaru-sama," Kaede responded just a coldly as Sesshomaru. Her one good eye glanced at him in between plucks of greenery. "Marriage."
"Marriage?" Sesshomaru balked, "Rin wishes to marry?" That caused an uncomfortable twist in his stomach, she had not said anything to him. Was she ready for marriage? The idea of a man…no he would not go there, he was sure if he caught any man touching her in that way he would end their lives.
"No," Kaede knuckled her old bent back. She stood up coming just above Sesshomaru's elbow, "we discussed that it was time she start thinking about marriage. She did not seem very happy about the idea."
"She's fourteen," Sesshomaru tried to suppress the anger in his voice.
"Fourteen is far from a child," Kaede's eye took in Sesshomaru's aggressive stance, "tell me something Sesshomaru-sama, what did you envision as your role in Rin's life when she is old enough to get married and have children of her own? Many of the girls her age are already married and expecting their first children in the spring, why should Rin be any different?"
My role in her future? He had never thought that far in advance, he viewed himself as her protector, friend, confidant and at times he felt like a father figure to her. Obviously the conversation had not gone as Kaede had planned or else Rin would not have ran off by herself and stayed away for as long as she did, "did you imagine she would remain a child forever that doted on your every step? Would you pay the dowry for her when she does find someone? She is no longer a little girl Sesshomaru-sama it's time she stopped acting like one and prepared herself for her future." Kaede hobbled away from the inu-yokai.
Sesshomaru leapt in front of her, "there will be no further discussion of Rin's marriage without my consent. If fourteen is old enough to marry, it's certainly only enough to decide."
Kaede balked openly, her mouth hit the ground, "you would curse her to stand by your side and never experience what normal human girls do? Family, friends, children?"
"If you wish her to remain here longer, you will not speak to her of marriage again without my consent," Sesshomaru was already gliding into the air. "If Rin chooses to marry, it will be her choice, not yours and not that of this Sesshomaru."
"Do you plan on supporting her the rest of her life!" Kaede yelled at him as he rose into the orange autumn sky.
"Is money your motivation? For that I have plenty, you will not speak to her again without my presence about marriage."
"Kohaku would make a fine husband for Rin!" Kaede yelled at Sesshomaru who was almost out of earshot.
"Kohaku-kah?" Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. The boy was barely a man himself, only seventeen. Kaede basically just told him that Rin should marry because she was of the age, not for love, not for happiness, not for her own good. The child had already experienced too much sorrow in her life to be forced into a marriage of convenience, he would not allow it. But will my role be, will she need me? The thought plagued him as he followed what was left her fading scent. Will my presence still be appropriate? We have not spoken about her return to my side for a long time. The thought that she might make the choice to remain in the village almost pained him. He was comforted by her reaction to the conversation. Rin was undoubtedly against the idea of marrying.
Sesshomaru sped through the air, she had a four day start on him. It would not be that big of a hinderance unless she…Sesshomaru landed by a river. Her tracks were old, but there. Dainty feet that left light imprints ran into the shallow area of the river. Sesshomaru leapt to the other side of the river, unlike the side he had just been on, there was no sign of her having crossed. Sesshomaru laughed inwardly, and half grinned to himself, she would have known they were going to sick Inuyasha on her. Rin took care to cover tracks and her scent. There was something familiar about this wood. Sesshomaru sniffed the air. It held nothing familiar to him. He looked up river to the glade and then downriver towards the bush of the forest. He had to choose which one and hope it was the right choice. Something pulled on him, I've been here before.
The image of a little girl with a battered face coming into the forest upon an injured Sesshomaru washed into his head. This was near the village Rin had grown up in. He approximate about ten miles downstream he would find the long abandoned village where Rin had grown up before she found him in the forest. Sesshomaru floated near the surface of the river watching for signs of her exit. He was fairly certain this was the direction she had gone, as to why he was unsure.
Roughly seven miles downstream he caught wind of Rin's scent. The bush in the area was disturbed but only lightly. She was surefooted these days. Rin was confident as she travelled. She left no sign that she had camped anywhere along the way. No felled trees, no signs of a fire being lit at night despite the chilled autumn evenings. She did him proud being so self-sufficient. She was nearby. Sesshomaru spotted Rin behind a bush with a knife in hand. Half her face was covered with a scarf. She crouched waiting for a rabbit he could smell nearby. Sesshomaru stayed behind the trees. She stalked her prey, coming closer. The rabbit knew she was there, but had yet decide to run. Rin threw her blade, it hit the black rabbit in the neck, spilling it's life force on the ground. Rin came out from her hiding place the same time Sesshomaru did. Her eyes were wide, her scent was that of panic.
"Sesshomaru-sama," Rin picked up her prey, "you found me."
He eyed her curiously, did she think I wouldn't?
"I guess I'm in trouble," she knelt down and went to work skinning and cleaning the rabbit. "You remember this place don't you?"
He inclined his head.
"Quiet as ever," she muttered under her breath, "I wanted to go to my parents graves. You know that's where I was headed the day that I found you injured? I wanted to see them and my brother," for a moment she seemed sad. She removed the cloth covering her face. She wore a green hikama with a brown top. Simple, yet perfect for blending in to her surroundings. She looked up at him, expecting him to say something, "I just can't quite remember where they are buried. I know it was near where I found you, the village is gone. I guess Koga's wolves really did eat everyone, me included." The rabbit was skinned and ready to cook in moments. Rin put the carcass in her brown bag and stood up. "I'm going to get firewood. Are you going to yell at me for leaving the village alone?"
"No," he followed after her. He watched as she bent over and picked up handfuls of dried pine. She attempted although feebly to use her knife to hack away at dried saplings. Sesshomaru walked forward, he gave her a gentle push out of the way. He flicked his left wrist, his whip went flying taking down the branches of a piscea, in six even pieces.
"Thanks," Rin picked them up. She stood them up and removed a fire bow from her bag. "I didn't eat much the last few days, mostly berries and mushrooms. Do you want some before I cook it? I won't eat the whole rabbit." She cut off the hind quarters, she knew him well and passed it to his clawed hand. "Am I in trouble?"
"With Kaede perhaps," he nipped at the meat she handed him, "not with me."
"You know you could have told me you ate raw meat that day, I would have found something for you," Rin smiled.
Sesshomaru gave her a small grin, finally, smiling again.
"I guess she told you what we talked about?"
He nodded while chewing a particularly tender piece of the hindquarters.
"I don't want to get married, I'm not ready to be a mother," Rin blew on the sparks she created with her fire bow. Once the fire was burning stronger she put her own meat on a skewer and placed it over the burning embers. "I guess that's why I came here, I wanted to talk to my parents. Do you ever visit your father's grave?"
Sesshomaru took in her face, she seemed depressed. "At times."
"You know they died when I was seven, I was alone in the village for a year before you found me," Rin touched the meat, "almost done. I wonder if my parents would be proud of me? We didn't have a lot of money, we were poor. I didn't have so many clothes like I do now, we didn't always have food, but I always felt loved. My mother said that her family exiled her because she chose love over honor. I didn't know what that meant at the time, I was just a child, but I do now. Kaede wishes me to marry for honor, not because there is someone I love."
"Not even Kohaku?" Sesshomaru inquired as he finished the last of the rabbit.
Rin removed her skewer of meat, she pinched the sides, "ouch," she laughed, "he's more like a brother," she looked at Sesshomaru and flushed. There was a clear spike in her heartrate, "I don't feel anything more when I look at him."
"Is there no one that you like in that village?" Sesshomaru looked at the sky. It was getting dark, the stars were shining down on them, the moon was full.
Her dark brown eyes turned to Sesshomaru, "I don't like anyone like that."
There was something about the way she looked at him, and the clear lie that crossed her lips. He did not inquire further.
"Do you remember where I found you?" She scratched her head as she finished her own meal. "I'm tired now," Rin took out a blanket from her bag. She curled up on the dirt and covered herself with the tattered blanket. Rin shivered from the crisp autumn air.
"I remember," he sat himself down next to Rin. He looped his tail under her head, and around her legs, "you're going to catch a cold."
Her cheeks were redder than before, "do you think my parents are proud of me?" Her voice was sleepy, she yawned as she nuzzled into his fur.
"Yes."
"Are you proud of me?"
"Very much," he leaned against a nearby tree trunk.
"Sesshomaru-sama?" Her eyes had black circles around them, she yawned again, "can you take me to where I found you that day? They are buried near there, I want to tell them I'm okay and that one day I'll marry, just not now."
"In the morning," he replied quietly.
"Sesshomaru-sama?"
He should have known if alone with her she would prattle on, even though her body was begging for sleep. "What?"
"Did you love Kagura?"
He gasped shocked for a moment, had Rin really picked up on so much?
"It's fine if you did."
"Love is not the right term. Respected, perhaps, felt fond of, love would not have been possible, she knew it and so did I."
"Why?" Rin propped herself on her elbow.
"As one of Naraku's incarnations her life would end when his did. Her life was over the moment he discarded her from his body."
"Do you love me?"
He patted her shoulder softly, "go to sleep, Rin."
"I don't mean like that…I wouldn't expect that ever, I mean, you keep coming back to me, why? You're Dai-yokai, why me?"
Sesshomaru thought for a moment, it was irrational to bring her back to life with Tensaiga it was ridiculous travelling with her as a child. None of it made sense, not then and his attachment to her now also made no sense.
"Will you come to my wedding when I do get married?"
"Yes," his eyes were still on the stars. Would he be able to give her to someone else? Would he trust that man to treasure her the way he did? Rin was more like a daughter to him now. He counted the constellations. Rin shuffled in her blanket still trembling from the growing cold. Sesshomaru flicked his wrist at one of the trees knocking down another branch. He tossed it on top of the fire stoking the flames again.
"I don't have a dowry, I mean, I've saved a few things, but I don't have that much."
"Dowry?" Ridiculous human customs.
"You know, the woman pays the man for the trouble of taking on another mouth to feed? Can I come closer? I'm cold."
Sesshomaru pat his lap. Rin scooted until she was flush against his leg. He could feel her cold hands against his hips, he reached down and rubbed them in his own hands. "You needn't worry about your dowry. When the time comes this Sesshomaru will provide one for you."
"You won't kill my intended will you?"
Sesshomaru shook his head, if he didn't stop her she would prattle on all night, "sleep," he encouraged Rin. "You needn't worry about marriage now. Kaede will not speak to you of it again."
"Thanks," her voice was groggy, her eyes half-mast. "I love you, Sesshomaru-sama, my parents will be glad to know you took care of me."
For some strange reason those words lit a flame of pride in his chest. "Sleep," he repeated himself.