Smash Mansion: 6PM
In Lucina's Room, she along with Pac Man were doing something stupid like some people that live in the mansion would be doing. Did I mention that he's armed with a t-shirt cannon? Because he's holding a t-shirt cannon.
Lucina: OK, why are we doing this again?
Pac Man: Because Master Hand put me in charge of selling these t-shirts. *holds out a t-shirt with Master Hand flipping off with words spelling "Smash You"* And besides, I ordered this thing online so I could have Sonic shoot food at me, so why not test it?
Lucina: So why am I here?
Pac Man: Well I was gonna try to get help from Sonic, but I couldn't find him and Shulk is fighting Joker right now, so you're my third best option.
Lucina: Fine. I'm bored anyway so I got nothing left to do.
Pac Man: OK, just stand there while I aim for the apple.
Lucina: Just for the record, if you hit my vagina, I'm gonna kick your ass.
Pac Man: Yeah, whatever. OK, 3, 2, 1, FIRE!
Pac Man pulls the trigger, but the t-shirt cannon doesn't fire
Pac Man: Oh what the hey!
Lucina: I guess that's $50 down the warp pipe.
Pac Man: *repeatedly presses the trigger* Hey, I tested this thing before this and it worked grea-
The t-shirt cannon fires unexpectedly, demolishing the ceiling of Lucina's room while raining down money
Lucina: Holy f**k. Master Hand is gonna kill us.
Pac Man: *looks at the money and thinks of an idea* Think we can bribe him?
In the main lobby, Master Hand is leading the newest fighter in the mansion, but the fighter seemed rather blocky
Master Hand: So, this is where you'll be staying at Steve.
Steve: Wow. Never thought I'd see the day. Me, Steve from Minecraft, joining the Super Smash Bros Ultimate roster. I could even call this my home. Except without the exploding Creepers or the killing Zombies. This is gonna be-
Steve is unexpectedly hit square in the face by a soccer ball, knocking him on the ground. The culprit being Sam the Mii Swordfighter and his accomplice being the blue blur, Sonic the Hedgehog. Both had been in the middle of an indoor soccer game before Sam socked what was Steve with a soccer ball from a kick.
Sam: Sorry new guy. *picks up the ball*
Sonic: Uh, is he alright?
Steve remains motionless as his body is now lifeless on the floor, which later vanishes into thin air like you do when you die in Minecraft. Steve is probably at his home or spawned at a random location. But back to the Smashers...
Master Hand: No! He's dead! And I told you two no playing sports inside...unless it's an indoor sport like Ping Pong or something.
Sonic: Not true. Mario can use those green 1-up mushrooms things to bring him back.
Mario: I would if I-a-could, but I can't.
Sam: Why not?
Mario: I had to use the last two 1-Ups on the Belmonts. They-a-were involved in an incident with the microwave.
Master Hand: I thought we banned those two from stepping foot into the kitchen. Great, now I need to find another Microsoft representative.
Then Pac Man walks from the stairs towards the floating hand to tell him about the 'ceiling accident'
Pac Man: Uh, Master Hand?
Master Hand: What is it?
Pac Man: We have a slight problem.
Master Hand: What, did Yoshi get into the kitchen as well? Because he's banned too.
Pac Man: No, it's just that...just come and see for yourself.
In Lucina's room
Master Hand: HAVE YOU LOST YOUR F**KING MINDS?!
Clearly the hand was beyond pissed off that there was a hole in one of the Smasher's ceilings. If this spread out to the other Smashers, there would probably be no end to the topic
Lucina: Something tells me that he isn't gonna take the bribe.
Master Hand: I'm not gonna take the bribe and neither are you! Normally I'd punish you two, but I got my hands full on finding another fighter.
Lucina: I thought those Dragon Quest guys and that Minecraft guy were the only new guys coming here.
Master Hand: Don't worry about that. Lucina, go hide that money an make sure no one finds it.
Lucina: Yes sir.
Lucina goes off to find a hiding spot for the money leaving only Pac Man and Master Hand, the latter turning to look at the bane of ghosts
Pac Man: Before you ask, no I was not trying to shoot her.
Master Hand: *sigh* I swear I question why I bother paying you all.
Pac Man: You don't pay us at all.
6:30PM
Back at the main lobby, the replacement (or replacements) of Steve arrives at the door
Banjo: OK Kazooie. This is it. Were finally here.
Kazooie: It was nice of these people to invite us to this place.
Banjo: I just hope some of them don't try plotting against us.
Kazooie: If they were, then I wouldn't bother dealing with them. Anyways, knock the door.
*knock* *knock*
Mario: That must be them. *opens the door* Hello there Banjo. And hello Kazooie. It's nice of you two to-a-join us.
Kazooie: It's better than staying forgotten with Microsoft. It's like they don't even care about us.
Mario: Well, glad you could-a-make it. Come in. But first *slaps a sheriff sticker on Banjo's chest* a prize.
Kazooie: Why would we want a dumb sticker?
Mario: Master Hand says that we have to give each newcomer a sticker for some reason. So there you go.
Banjo: I'll keep it.
Kazooie: Can we come in now?
Mario: A-sure. Come in. I'll show-a-you around.
Back in Lucina's room
Dark Pit: *sign* Lucy? Please tell me how, just how the hell did you put a hole in your ceiling!
Lucina: OK, first of all, it's Lucina. Not Lucy. Second, it wasn't me. It was Pac Man.
Dark Pit: Oh wow. Blaming it on the yellow dot muncher are we? What, did he get so hungry that he bit a piece of your ceiling off?
Lucina: Oh a comedian are we?
Dr. Mario: *picks up the remaining few bucks* And you say money was hidden in it?
Lucina: Guys, I'm serious!
Dark Pit: Hi serious. I'm Dark Pit.
Dr. Mario: Anyways, I have to finish Shulk's treatment. The dude got shot multiple times by Joker. Who's idea was it to bring guns to the battlefield?
Dark Pit: I can think of one. *an image of a certain witch pops up in Dark Pit's mind*
Master Hand: Lucina! Did you hide the money like I said?
Lucina: Yes. I put it in the best place possible.
In the kitchen
Falco: YEAH! I'M RICH! I'M RICH! OH MY GOD! I'M GONNA BUY A YEAR SUPPLY OF BIRDSEEDS! WOOH!
7:30PM
Back in the Main Lobby
Sam: Hey Sonic? Is it me or does the new guys look fishy?
Sonic: They look good to me.
Sam: I don't know. Pass me the binoculars.
Sonic passes the binoculars to the swordfighter and observes
Sam: *looks at Rosalina* Why, hello there.
Sonic: Dude, he's right there.
Sam: Sorry. *focuses on Banjo and Kazooie* OK, there looking at something...and there wearing some type of badge. Oh my god. The new guys are narcs!
Sonic: Narcs? Like in the seal animal thing?
Sam: No, not narwhals. Narcs, like undercover cops.
Sonic: Why would they hire a bear and a bird as undercover cops?
Sam: Maybe because of Steve?
Sonic: Who?
Sam: Steve. The guy who got in the way of our indoor soccer game?
Sonic: ...
Sam: Yesterday dude!
Sonic: Wait, so you're saying we're prime suspects of a murder? But that government official said that it was an accident.
Sam: That government official could be in on it. Who knows how long they'll keep up with our tracks.
Sonic: *looks into the binoculars and sees the sheriff sticker* Woah, these guys must be serious. They sent their #1 sheriff after us!
Sam: It was such a bad crime, we didn't know we did it!
Sonic: Did we?
Sam: Beats me. But we should probably do something before they catch on.
In the attic, Falco had assembled a group with Red, Little Mac, and Bruce the Mii Brawler
Falco: Everyone, I have gathered the Falco's Ultimate Cool Klub for this secret important meeting.
Red: OK. One, can we change the name to something else because if you take the first letter of each word it spells fu-
Falco: Stop! I don't wanna hear that word.
Red: And two, why are we in the attic?
Little Mac: Because it wouldn't be so secret if we had it downstairs in public idiot!
Falco: Thank you Mac. That is why you're my second in command.
Red: I hate you all.
Falco: Now, the reason why I called you all up here is because Master Hand has secretly been refigerating money behind our backs. Which is why I have this! *uncovers the covered money*
Red Little Mac and Bruce the Brawler: Woah!
Falco: So, all of you throw out ideas on how we can spend it.
Little Mac: A boxing ring!
Falco: We have a stage for that. Next.
Bruce: I say we get some food
Falco: Maybe later. Next.
Red: I say we donate it to charity.
Falco: Red, are you an idiot or something? We can't just give it all away! Next.
9PM
Back in Lucina's room
Lucina had started investigating the wonders of the broken ceiling and had requested help from Olimar due to his small size allowing him to fit inside
Lucina: Anything you can find in there Olimar?
Olimar: Not much. Just dust, spiders, mice...and a couple of Smash Balls.
Lucina: What? Why would there be items in my ceiling?
Olimar: I don't know. But I think I see a tunnel.
Lucina: How can there be a tunnel on the fourth floor?
Olimar: ...
Lucina: Olimar? You didn't go in the tunnel. Did you? ...Oh well.
In the storage room, Sam and Sonic are with a whiteboard that says 'Ten Reasons we are Guilty of Murdering Steve'
Sam: OK, ten reasons why we are guilty of murdering Steve.
Sonic: Dude, if someone walks in and sees Steve's name written on here, were busted.
Sam: You're right. *edits Steve's name to Stevenson* Ten reasons we are guilty of murdering Stevenson.
Sonic: That's brilliant.
Sam: I know right?
Sonic: OK. One. *zips across the room* We TOTALLY killed 'Stevenson'.
Sam: True. *writes while saying* We did it.
Sonic: Two. *zips back to his position* Your fingerprints are on the murder weapon. *holds a bag with the soccer ball*
Sam: Gah! *writes and says* Fingerprints
Sonic: Three. *zips back to his spot* I may have spit on the ball.
Sam: Why would you ever do that?
Sonic: Well, I thought it would be funny if you picked up the ball and said "Ew, there's spit on my hand".
Sam: God, you are so stupid. Now the cops probably have our DNA! *writes and says* DNA.
Sonic: Oh my god, we are so guilty. I guess there's only one thing we can do. We're gonna have to kill-
Sam: Ourselves?
Sonic: No, we're not gonna kill ourselves. We have to kill the cop.
Sam: Or we can bribe them.
Sonic: Oh...works for me.
Then Mario comes through the door and sees the billboard along with the swordsman and the hedgehog assuming their plotting something
Mario: Uh, what are you two of all-a-people doing in here?
Sam: GAH!
Sam throws the nearest thing (a brick) and knocks out Mario
Sonic: Sam, what the hell?
Sam: We can't have witnesses Sonic. It's either that or we throw him in the lake.
Sonic: I choose the lake. Crminals do it nearly all the time.
Sam: Just shut up and come on before I have to knock out someone else comes in.
Meanwhile, because of Mario's err, absence, his brother, Luigi, has to cover for showing the famous Rare duo around the mansion, leading to their room
Luigi: And here's your room. And that's pretty much the whole-a-mansion.
Kazooie: I guess all that coin collecting got you here somehow.
Banjo: Thanks for showing us around Luigi.
Luigi: No problem. Now I need to shove my face in spaghetti. *walks away*
Banjo: Well, let's enjoy our lives while we can.
Sam: Excuse me good people.
Kazooie: Good people? Look at us genius. Were a bear and a bird!
Sonic: And I'm a hedgehog.
Kazooie: A hedgehog? You don't look like one.
Banjo: Be nice Kazooie.
Sam: Anyway, we have a good deal for the both of you.
Kazooie: We don't want what you're selling ya dumb blonde.
Sam: No, no no. We're not selling anything. We have a proposition to offer.
Banjo: What proposition?
Sonic: Are you interested in-
Kazooie: I said it once, and I'll say it again. I'm not interested in what you're selling. OK? I need to make a few calls home.
Banjo: Me too. I need to check if Bottles is taking care of the house. *goes in his room and closes the door*
Sonic: Welp. That worked out well.
Sam: *walks away*
Sonic: Hey, where are you going?
Sam: Getting prepared. Because we, are going to prison.
Back in Lucina's Room
Dark Pit: So not only have you been hoarding cash, you also have been hoarding Smash Balls?
Lucina: For f**k sake no! Anyone who has read the guidelines should know that harboring items in their rooms is against the rules.
Dr. Mario: And we all know you're not known for breaking rules. And didn't you say Olimar went up there?
Lucina: Yeah, but he hasn't came back yet.
Dark Pit: He probably forgot about the mission and skipped out to do gardening.
Suddenly, Dr. Mario's phone rings from a call from Olimar himself
Dr. Mario: *answers* Why are you Facetiming me? And where are you?
Olimar: It's an emergency! I've been taken hostage!
Dark Pit: Why would they take a farmer hostage?
Lucina: Are you OK?
Olimar: No! I'm not OK! I followed that tunnel to the back of the Assist Trophy Bowling Alley nearby and there's a huge operation happening-
?: Move your face, kid! We want our money back!
?: Yeah, and we want to keep using your mansion ceiling tunnel as our stash house or your little vegetable farmer here's not coming back!
?: We know how important he is! He's been telling us!
Olimar: I am super important!
Dark Pit: Uh, not really. So I'm just gonna hang up-
Dr. Mario: Shhh!
Lucina: Olimar, we'll get you out no matter what.
Dark Pit: Bye. *hangs up the phone*
Lucina: What the hell?
Dr. Mario: What are you doing?
Dark Pit: I'm helping!
Lucina: By what? Putting Olimar in more trouble?
Dark Pit: No. I'm not stupid. Look, every day, Olimar tells these dumb plant jokes and how many people have laughed at them? None! He'll just annoy the criminals so much, they'll have to give him back and stop the operation.
Dr. Mario: That makes no sense but that's the only idea we got.
Lucina: First we have to get the money.
Dr. Mario: And where did you hide it?
Lucina: In the greatest location I could think of.
10PM; In the Main Lobby
Falco: Ladies and gentlemen. I have something to show you all of you. Bring it in guys!
At his call, Red along with his three Pokemon, Little Mac, and Bruce push a cart into the lobby with something large being covered by a sheet
Master Hand: What is the meaning of this?
Falco: First off, I just want to ask why you thought refigerating money was a good idea.
Master Hand: Refigerate money? I would do no such- *realizes what he meant* Lucina!
Dark Pit: You hid the money in the fridge?
Dr. Mario: Why a fridge?
Lucina: Look, I panicked OK? The fridge was the first thing that came to mind!
Bruce: So, it was your money that we spent?
Dr. Mario: You spent it? On what?
Falco: I'm getting to that. So, my bois, Mac, Red, and Bruce decided on buying our prize, as a team.
Little Mac: F**K YEAH! TEAMWORK! *punches Red*
Red: OW! WHAT THE F**K?
Little Mac: Sorry. I thought you were gonna see that.
Link: Get on with it!
Falco: Shut up Link! Without further introduction, I present to you...*uncovers the sheet to reveal a gold jet ski with disco panels that spell 'Smash' on both sides* THE SUPER SMASH JET SKI DELUXE!
Only one clap is heard while the rest is speechless
Master Hand: You spent...
Dark Pit: All of that money...
Lucina: On a jet ski?
Bruce: Not just any jet ski...a GOLD jet ski!
Red: So, *recovers* what do you think- *get's shot by Dark Pit's Staff* Oof.
Dark Pit: ARE YOU GUYS F**KING RETARDED!?
Little Mac: Depends.
Falco: Woah. What's with the angry tempo? I bring you all a gift and this is the thanks we get?
Lucina: You idiots! We were trying to tell you that Olimar's been kidnapped!
Everyone: *le gasp*
Diddy Kong: Kidnapped? Do you know where he is?
Dr. Mario: Yes! He's being held hostage near the Assist Trophy Bowling Alley!
King Dedede: Well let's go de-de-destroy the guys who's keeping him from us!
Bowser: De-de-destroy? Really?
King Dedede: Sorry. I really wanted to say that.
Lucina: We can't get him back unless we return the money.
Falco: Then return the money.
Dark Pit: *grabs Falco by the neck* YOU ALREADY SPENT IT ALL YOU PHEASANT FOOL!
Falco: Hey! I'm a falcon! Get it right!
Samus: Can somebody please explain what the hell is going on!?
Master Hand: Very well. It started like this...
One Explanation Later
Master Hand: And that's what happened.
There was an odd moment of silence until the Aura Pokemon, Lucario, broke it when he spoke
Lucario: I believe this is the part where the blame game starts.
Little Mac: So it was Pac Man's fault.
Pac Man: What?
Lucina: I mean, you did shoot my ceiling with that t-shirt cannon.
Pac Man; But weren't you the one who hid the money in the fridge in the first place?
Lucina: Well...it's Master Hand's fault for telling me to go hide it!
Master Hand: Well if Falco didn't find it in the fridge, we wouldn't be in this problem.
Falco: Whose fault is that?
Red: But you did spend it all.
Falco: Shut up Red!
Luigi: So, shouldn't we all focus on how we're gonna get Olimar back?
Dark Pit: I say we trade Falco's stupid ass for Olimar.
Falco: F**k you! I've been here longer than you or that vegetarian! How about we trade your stupid ass you recolor!
Dark Pit: *gets his 'bow sword' ready* YOU WANNA F**KING GO YOU DUMB DODO BIRD!?
Falco: BRING IT ON MOTHERF**KER! COME AT ME! *pulls out his blaster*
Samus: BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE F**K UP BEFORE I FRY BOTH OF YOUR ASSES! *points her Paralyzer*
Zelda: Oh my god, someone please help us
Pac Man: Um, I think I have an idea.
Master Hand: It better be a good plan.
Pac Man: Why don't we just sell the jet ski to get the money or just give those guys the jet ski.
Falco: OH HELL NO!
Dark Pit: That's a good plan. That way I won't have to see this waste of space! *points at the jet ski*
Falco: Can Olimar swim at 70 miles per hours? Can he put on a laser show? IS HE MADE OF GOLD!?
Dr. Mario: LOMBARDI! Like it or not, were giving away the jet ski!
Falco: Nope! *hops on the jet ski* Not happening. And that's Mr. Lombardi to you-
Master Hand b***h slaps Falco off the jet ski towards the wall, knocking him unconsious
Master Hand: Quickly, before he recovers!
Lucina: OK. Dark Pit, Dr. Mario, you guys help me carry this thing. Red, Bruce, Pac Man, we'll need you for assistance.
Red: Assistance? Like what?
Dark Pit: Kicking ass and burning bodies with Charizard.
Red: Wait what?
Charizard: RAWR RAWR ZARD! (I AM TOTALLY DOWN FOR SOME BURNING!)
Dr. Mario: We're not killing anyone OK?
Dark Pit: Ugh. Whatever.
Lucina: Come on guys. We got a midget astronaut to save.
Bruce: What do you think they're doing to him?
Dr. Mario: Probably something horrible.
With Olimar
Olimar: Hey guys, how does a tree access Facebook? By logging on. *drum rimshot* What's brown and sticky? A stick. *drum rimshots* Why does one leaf hate the other? Because he wouldn't leaf him alone! *drum rimshots*
?: My god. Can we kill him now?
?: No! He's important to us. Now come on. We're supposed to meet those bastards soon.
10:30PM
?: Where's the money?
Bruce: *shakes a briefcase* Where's our friend?
The unknown smuggler pushes Olimar out of the darkness as he had been gagged with a cloth
Lucina: Take the gag off.
?: Oh god please-
Pac Man: Take it off or you'll be t-shirted!
The gag is taken off Olimar when one person takes off the helmet and the other takes the gag off then puts the helmet back on
Olimar: What type of eggs do sunflowers like?
Dr. Mario: Holy hell. Put it back on.
Olimar: Oh come on- *is gagged again*
?: Give us our money.
Lucina: Give us our friend.
Both sides trade as Olimar goes back to the good side and the suitcase goes to the bad side, except when they open it, they only find a pair of keys
?: What the f**k is this?
Dark Pit: The keys to that. *points towards Falco's jet ski*
?: A jet ski? Where's our money?
Pac Man: This is the money.
The mysterious figure then pulls out a Super Scope and aims
?: I'll say this once and I'll say it again. Where's our money?
Dark Pit: A stupid bird stole it.
?: Wrong answer! *shoots a charge shot*
Dr. Mario: Not today!
The doctor clone uses his cape move (his side special move) and deflects the blast back at the shooter
?: Oh crap- *gets blasted* GAH!
The mysterious stranger is knocked back on the ground as his hood comes off revealing his face which featured a pink nose, weird mustache, and wore a purple hat
Red: Wait...dat face.
Bruce: That mustache.
Pac Man: That hat.
Everyone: WALUIGI?!
Waluigi: Wah! My disguise! *struggles to put hid hood back on* N-no. I have no idea who this Waluigi person is. I am...uh...Doctor Wily! Yeah, I hate that Mega Man!
Bruce: Bruh. We legit saw your face.
Dr. Mario: And he doesn't come up with a lame name and horrible impression.
Waluigi: Alright fine! You got me! Here I am! Waluigi in the flesh! I did it!
Lucina: So you made the tunnel?
Waluigi: Yes.
Red: And you stole those Smash Balls?
Waluigi: Who else would it be? Santa Clause?
Lucina: And who's your little assistant?
Waluigi: Oh, that's just Ashley.
Ashley: Darn it Waluigi! I said no revealing our identities!
Waluigi: Well, too bad. I'm the boss of this operation and you can't stop me!
Pac Man: Ashley? You've teamed up with Waluigi?
Ashley: Only temporary. Now that seeing that this was a complete waste of my time, I'll be going back to my room!
Lucina: But why? Why did you do all of this?
Dark Pit: Just to fail or get some attention? Or both?
Waluigi: No. You see, I thought that if I steal all the smash balls, then no one would be able to use their final smash! Then I would bribe Master Hand to let me become a smash fighter in exchange for the smash balls. That was my evil plan! But then Ashley's little runt-
Ashley: His name is Red! Not that Red. *points at Red*
Red: Aw.
Waluigi: Like I was saying, that little runt caught me breaking into the Smash Mansion and tattletaled to Ashley. She threatened to report me to Master Hand unless I would get her a spot on the roster.
Ashley: Probably shouldn't get help from a purple grape guy.
Waluigi: So after that carrot farmer busted me, I had to improvise!
Olimar: So you held me hostage?
Waluigi: Yes. And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for female Marth, a Mario with a doctor's degree, goth angel boy, a boy and his three digimon, a farmer astronaut, some mii guy, and a yellow rubber ball that eats dots!
Bruce: Wow. Great insults.
Dr. Mario: Wow.
Dark Pit: That has to be the most STUPIDEST plan I have ever heard of!
Bruce: So what? DO we report him to the police or whatever?
Waluigi: Not if you can catch me! NYEH! *sprints away*
Olimar: He's getting away!
Red: Oh, he won't get far. *whips out a Pokeball* Squirtle, I choose you!
Trainer Red sent out Squirtle
Squirtle: Squirtle Squirt! (I'm here suckas!)
Red: Squirtle, use Water Gun at Waluigi!
Squirtle: Squirtle! (Okey dokey!)
Squirtle fires multiple Water Gun attacks at Waluigi, but his surprising agility kept him from getting hit as he headed for an intersection. There were barely any cars at night, so crossing won't be a problem for the evil in purple
Waluigi; I'M FAST AS F**K BOI! Oof.
Waluigi would end up slamming into something stopping his escape as that something is a peeved off Master Hand who had grabbed Waluigi before he could run away
Dark Pit: Master Hand!
Lucina: You came!
Bruce: Because that's what she said! Ha ha ha- *gets hit by the flat side of Lucina's blade* Sorry.
Master Hand: I should have knowned that you were gonna cause trouble eventually!
Pac Man: How did you get here so fast?
Master Hand: Magic. *pig noises*
Waluigi: Waa! Ashley, teleport us out of here.
Ashley: OK. HOCUS POCUS!
And with that chant, Ashley disappeared with a puff of purple smoke while poor Waluigi had been left behind
Waluigi: Hey you stupid loli witch! You forgot me!
Red: OK then. Squirtle, return! *returns Squirtle to his Pokeball*
Waluigi: W-w-what are you gonna do to Waluigi?
Master Hand: Oh, you'll see. As for the rest of you, get back to the mansion and get some sleep. Oh and Lucina and Pac Man, don't think I forgot about your punishments because I haven't!
Pac Man and Lucina: GOD DAMN IT!
The next day at 9AM in the living room
Peach: Everyone! Come look at the news!
Daisy: Did they finally remove that Nintendo Switch Online thingy?
King K Rool: Did they finally buff me?
Captain Falcon: Did they announce a new F-Zero game?
Wario: Did they get my recording of me breaking the world record for 'Most Destructive Farts in the World'?
Nana: Uh...ew.
Peach: Why would you even tell us that?
Wario: Because that's been on my bucket list since 2018 and I've been dying to break it!
Peach: Shh. It's starting.
BREAKING NEWS
Pauline: Good morning on Console News 101. Today, our top report involves crime. Am I right Toadette?
Toadette: That's right. Some creep named Waluigi had been arrested for harboring illegal cash and stealing Smash Balls from the Smash mansion. Luckily, six heroes were able to pull the plug on this illegal operation. The photo of these people are right on the board.
Pauline: There names are Lucina, Doctor Mario, Dark Pit, Red, Pac Man, and Bruce. Not the Batman character. Waluigi is currently being held within the Mushroom Kingdom Central Prison Center. More will go on as the story develops.
Wario: Waah? Waluigi's been arrested?
Daisy: Serves that creep right. He deserved to go to prison.
King K Rool: What? How did those six get to be on television?
Nana: Maybe because they stopped a criminal?
King K Rool: Nah. They must have bribed them or something.
Wario: Great. Now I have to bail him out.
Then Lucina steps into the living room and the pink eskimo was quick to notice
Nana: Hey! There she is!
Lucina: Oh, hello everybody.
King K Rool: *grabs Lucina by the shirt* TELL ME HOW YOU GOT ON TV!
Lucina: GAAH! Get off of me you stupid croc!
Peach: *knocks out K Rool with her frying pan* Sorry about that. But I'm so proud of you! *hugs her tightly* You had me worried!
Daisy: Can I join? *hugs Lucina tightly*
Nana: Don't forget about me. *hugs Lucina's leg due to being short*
Wario: Can we join?
Captain Falcon: Let me show you my FALCON HUG-
Nana: One step closer and I'll turn you both into popsicles.
Master Hand: *from the speakers* Would Pac Man, Lucina, and Falco come to my office now?
Lucina: Sorry girls. I need to go.
Peach: Aww. OK. *ceases hug*
Nana: Fine. *stops hugging*
Daisy: Just a few more minutes. Please?
Peach and Nana both pry Daisy off of Lucina like a mom pulling her kid away from a candy store
Daisy: NO! LET...ME...GO!
Daisy loses her grip and is sent flying along with Peach and Nana
Lucina: I'll see you girls later.
Peach: Bye Lucy.
Dark Pit: Oh what? She calls you Lucy and you let that slide but when I say it, it's a problem?
Lucina: It's better when my 'girlfriends' say it.
Dark Pit: Screw you. Good luck facing Master Hand's wrath.
Meanwhile in Banjo and Kazooie's room, the bear is munching on some donuts while the bird is eating birdseeds until a couple of knocks are heard on the door
Kazooie: Can you get that Banjo?
Banjo: Sure.
Banjo opens the door to see Sonic and Sam again, but the difference (or minor difference) is that both were wearing prison uniforms in orange like you see criminals in a regular jail
Banjo: Uh, can I help you?
Sam: We're ready.
Banjo: Ready for what?
Sonic: For our imprisonment.
Banjo: I don't understand what you guys are saying.
Kazooie: Banjo, who's at the door?
Banjo: Uh, those guys you thought were salesmen.
Kazooie: You mean that blonde swordsman and that blue hedgehog?
Banjo: Yeah.
Kazooie halts her breakfast and walks to the door to 'greet' the 'salesmen'
Kazooie: You two again? I already told you I don't want what you're selling. Now beat it!
Sam: We're confused. We're turning ourselves in.
Sonic: Can you take us to jail now even though I'll easily escape?
Banjo: Why would we do that?
Sam: Because that's what cops do.
Kazooie: Do we look like cops to you?
Sonic: Well, you're undercover so-
Banjo: No no no. We're not cops.
Sam: Wait...you're not? But what about Steve?
Kazooie: Who's Steve? Sounds like a name for a mailman.
Sonic: So, you're not cops and you don't know who Steve is?
Kazooie: Correct ya dumbies! Now can you leave us alone? *closes the door*
Sonic: You know what that means?
Sam: We're dumbasses for thinking that they were cops?
Sonic: No. It means we don't go to jail!
Sam: YES! That means that I don't have to worry about getting raped!
Sonic: That also means I should get rid of that toilet wine.
Sam: You made toilet wine? Why?
Sonic: It was for the prison christmas parties. Don't ask. But I should probably empty the whole jug before-
King Dedede: EW! WHAT THE F**K IS THIS SHIT!? THIS IS NOT WINE!
Sonic: I should run.
Sonic speeds off to somewhere leaving a confused Sam with questions
Sam: How do you make toilet wine? Oh well. Back to counting my Pokemon card collection. I wonder what happened to Mario?
In the storage room
Mario: *wakes up* Ugh. My head feels like a Thwomp slammed right on it. Why did Sam throw a brick at me? I'll have to ask him about it later.
The plumber got up from the hard stone floor and walked towards where he was going wondering what had happened during his 'nap'
I hope you enjoyed this. I'll try to post more of this crap whenever I feel like it or whenever I come up with some ideas. Some praise would be thankful. Also I gave the Mii Fighters names because I was too lazy to type a long name like Mii Swordfighter and stuff. (If your confused, Bruce is the Brawler, Sam is the Swordfighter, and the Mii Gunner will appear another time; hint, her name starts with a G). Also, my original plan was to have the character speaking have their emoticon up instead of their name, but apparently adding too many emoticons makes some of them into a code.