This fic is a response to a cooking mishap challenge posted on Kansas. Hope you enjoy it!
Title: A Recipe Gone Astray
Author: ScaperDeage
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own FarScape so don't ask.
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"Are you sure that's the right amount?"
"Yes, that's what it says on the recipe, 3 cups"
"Looks like a bit much"
"Look at the recipe yourself if you don't believe me"
"You know I can't read human"
"So then you'll have to take my word for it now won't you"
"Fine. What's next?"
"1 and a half cups of water"
"Ok"
"Now mix well"
Wirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
"Think that's fine"
"Looks like it"
"Ok now it says preheat the oven to 375 degrees"
"Exactly what does that mean"
"It's the temperature for the oven"
"But how hot is 375 degrees?"
"I'm not sure"
"Great"
"Sounds like its supposed to be really hot"
"So are we just going to make a guess?"
"I guess so."
"We should ask someone"
"They probably wouldn't know either"
"Ok then, picking an approximate number"
"Alright, now we have to put this mixture into a pan"
"OK"
"Then put the pan into the oven"
"OK"
"Then it has to cook for 30-25 minutes"
"What's a minute?"
"About 60 microts"
"Oh. Ok"
"So let's put the pan into the oven"
"Ok, now what"
"We wait 30 to 25 minutes"
"Ok"
10 minutes later...
"Should the oven be smoking like that?"
"What does that recipe say?"
"It doesn't say anything about the oven smoking."
"Should we check on it?"
"Maybe"
They open the oven and thick black smoke comes out filling the room...
"I'm almost positive that's not supposed to be on fire"
"Quick we have to put it out"
John and Aeryn come running into the galley...
[John] "What the frell? Aeryn grab the fire extinguisher!"
[Aeryn] "Already did"
Aeryn puts out the fire...
[John] "What the hell were you guys trying to do set this tier on fire?"
[1812] "We were trying to bake a cake, but I guess we screwed up"
[Blue] "You mean you screwed up"
[1812] "Like you could have done better"
[Blue] "Next time I'm reading the recipe"
[John] "Never mind I think I don't want to know what you were doing"
[Aeryn] "I think they were...cooking something"
[1812] "We were"
[John] "Why were they cooking? Wait I don't really want to know that either. Just next time when you DRDs have a craving to cook something get some help. And clean up this mess."
John and Aeryn leave still confused as to why the DRDs were cooking in the first place...
[Blue] "I told you this was a bad idea"
[1812] "Oh shut up"
[Blue] "Let's make a cake to give to Pilot for his birthday, you said"
[1812] "Yeah well it was Moya's idea to have us make something special and I didn't hear you complaining about my idea"
[Blue] "Yeah well, now we have no cake and a big mess to clean, plus we still have to come up with something else to give to Pilot"
[1812] "No you have to come up with something else, because apparently my ideas are bad!"
[Blue] "Fine I will! And mine will not involve flaming cakes!"
[1812] "Just shut up and clean!"