A/N: Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.

A/N: I have tried to be true to S.M.'s characters, to the Native American people, and to myself. I have spent a lot of time with North East Native Americans. I have not spent time with any from the North West. So all information I give about Native's reflect that fact (though I have been doing research). Feed back would be great!

HOWL!

Chapter 1

Leah's memories;

I have loved Sam since I was 3.

Sam rescued me. At least this is the way my mother, Sue Clearwater, tells the story…

My father, Harry, was getting ready to go to pick up my mother and my new brother, Seth, from the hospital. There was not enough room in the old truck for me to come along so he left me with Billy Black and his family.

Billy Black had taken over leadership of the tribe that year, after his father had passed away (his father and his father's father had been tribal leaders as well. I think he can trace his father's lineage all the way back to Taha Aki – our greatest chief in our history). Billy had a wife, he also had 2 daughters (Rachel and Rebeca) and an infant son Jacob).

That day Billy left me at his picnic table with a popsicle. Billy went inside to tell his 2 daughters to come outside with me while his wife finished feeding Jacob. When the girls came out – I was gone. Billy's daughter's called out to me but I did not answer. They went and got Billy –who did not believe in wasting time. Billy called the tribal council members to help search for me – the reservation is large and the ocean borders one whole side of the res, it's mostly cliff's so people worry when children wander (not that any children HAVE fallen into the ocean and my people have lived here a LONG time…).

The whole council showed up, except for my father of course. Each member had brought at least 1 other person to help search. Grandfather Quill (OK he is not my REAL grandfather. It is a term of respect. So in a way I have more Aunts, Uncles, Grandmothers, and Grandfathers than any girl in Forks – the town next to my reservation), who had been teaching Sam since his dad disappeared earlier that year, brought Sam with him. The tribe knew Sam was already a hunter and a good tracker, so apparently this was not an odd choice. Even then Sam was a serious little 5 year old boy, who listened well to everything the elders had to teach. Sam listened, along with the council members and the rest of the searchers to what I was wearing. They all knew me so they did not need a description of me (small Native American girl with long black hair and brown eyes – it also described ALL of the three year old girls on my reservation!), and then Sam went with Grandfather Quill to help search. The tribe would not loose one child – children are gifts from the creator (YES! Sue puts that in their every time. She must think I will get a complex that I was bad for walking away from the Black's home or something).

After watching everyone take off down the road and all of the well used trails, Sam insisted that he and G.Q. go to one particular small unused trail. It was narrow and it leads to the cliffs over the ocean. There were flowers along the cliff at the end of the narrow path. Sam and G.Q. found me at the cliff's edge. I was reaching for a flower just beyond and below my reach – leaning over the edge of the cliff trying to reach it, teetering and about to fall. Sam quickly made it to my side and grabbed me when I would have fallen (when G.Q. tells this story Sam moves about as fast as Superman). 'Little one, whatever you want tell me and I will get it for you,' he had told me that day. Sam reached out, effortlessly picked the flower I had been reaching for, and handed it to me. It was the start of my life with Sam.

This is where my mother's story ends. (But there is always more to every story, not all of them end happy. The way my mother tells it ends happy.)

From that day on, I worshiped Sam. My mother says I would ask for him as soon as I woke up and most days I would get to spend some time with him. But Sam was 5 and that fall he had to go to school. That was the first time Sam was taken from me. My mother said I cried all day for him and did not stop until he came over after school. That afternoon I asked to take me to school with him. Sam had meant what he said that day on the cliffs. He knew I couldn't stay at school with him, but he had a solution. He found a way to give me what I wanted. Sam asked my mom if I could walk with him and his mother every day to school. He told her his mother needed someone to care for while he was gone. My mother said yes. So everyday day Sam and his mom stopped at my house on his way to school and we walked to school. I got what I asked for. I went to school with Sam. His mother and I would often spend the mornings together. I think this helped her with the loss of Sam's father. I know my mornings with Aunt Ciara helped my mom catch up on sleep (Seth did not sleep much at night). Mom told me that Sam had needed me that summer as much as I needed him. He needed to feel loved and I have always given him that unconditionally.

Time passes.

Soon I was in school also. The first day of Kindergarten I fell on the playground and scraped my knee. It was Sam who picked me up, brushed me off and told me Quileute women did not cry at something so small as a scrape. I stopped crying. I swore that day that I would not cry at small things – I keep my promises.

When I was in first grade Sam killed his first deer. Well, the first deer completely on his own, up until then G.Q. or one of the other tribesmen helped him shoot the bow and arrow or finished the kill after his shot did not kill the deer. In the tradition of our people he first took what his family would need. Then he gave some venison (aka deer) to Grandfather Quill who had taught him how to hunt and kill the deer, and G.Q. had a young family to feed. His son had died leaving a wife and children who needed to eat too. Sam sharing his kill is part of our tribal traditions, – we all share the work in some way and so in some way we all share the benefit. Sam brought me the tenderloins, the best part of the deer. I remember that I had complained to him the night before that it was not fair that he could go hunting while I was not allowed to go (I knew better than to ask him if I could go too. My father had made it clear to me that I was too young). Sam had tried to make me feel better by sharing. It was a big deer he said – a seven point buck (that is seven sharp pointy parts on each side of the deer's antlers). That year my mother taught me to make venison jerky (one of many ways my people preserve meat for the winter before there were freezers). I gave half to Sam. Sam told me that from now on he would hunt, because he knew how, and I could cook, because I knew how. G.Q. overheard this and told him that warriors knew how to hunt, clean the animal AND cook it. He told us that we would both learn to hunt, clean and cook – he saw us as a team and teams care for one another with out one being more than the other (I did not realize then that G.Q. was teaching us both more than what we needed to simply be part of the village). I think he also saw a chance to teach me to take of myself so that I would not be like his daughter-in-law; a young widow with children and no way to put meat on the table by herself. She did her part for the tribe –smoking trout and making venison jerky but it was not the same as your mate bringing meat in. I think she felt like a burden.

In 2nd grade I got pushed off the top of the jungle gym. I broke my arm and did not shed 1 tear. Sam saw me fall and came running. He did not leave my side until I was home. He told me how brave I was and what a wonderful warrior I would have made for not making a peep while the doctors plastered my arm. I was convinced that day that Sam loved me too. G.Q. told me that they needed a brave warrior to help catch salmon, and wouldn't luck have it that my cast came off just in time for salmon season. I was so excited that I would be helping to set up the nets, clean the fish and prepare it for smoking – so the whole tribe would have food for the winter. I learned more than fishing that winter. I learned what it meant to be a full contributing member of the tribe. I also taught Sam to make jerky. We were partners. It felt so right.

In 3rd grade I learned to clean a deer. One word – GROSS. I also learned how to shoot a bow and arrow. In the spring tribal bow and arrow competition, I won first place. I beat Sam and all the boys in my age grouping. Looking back, I think Sam missed on purpose. Sam has never missed the bull's eye except for that day.

The summer after 3rd grade I met my cousin, Emily. She and I have grown closer every year. I tell her things that I would only also share with Sam. Emily is quiet (until you get to know her). My family always goes to the Makah tribal lands to visit Emily and her family. That summer I taught Em to fish and she taught me the value of keeping a journal.

More years passed with my father and G.Q. teaching Sam and I the skills of our people. We also learned to drum, sing, and participate in the tribal dances that take place to celebrate important events (OK Sam learned to drum – I learned the rattle, both important parts when part of a drum). How I love to move to the beat of the drum while wearing my ceremonial regalia. The Fancy Dance is beautiful, complex, and athletic. I become 1 with the music forgetting there are other's around me, watching and making the music. The drum beat feels more like my heart beating. My mother wanted me to enter dancing competitions but I don't want to. That's not why I dance. Dancing is free and fast. Emily helped me pick the colors of my regalia, she thought the colors should reflect the colors that my tribe would have had access to 100 years ago (Emily does not have regalia – she refuses to dance for anyone other than her tribe, "Honestly Leah, I won't ever dance for anyone other than my family." I can not convince her to make her own). My Regalia does not have the flashy sparkly ribbons like some but Sam says he can always see me as I represent the woods and other earthy tones of our home.

Sam is an amazing dancer and drummer. All of the council member's sons learned the Wolf Dance that tell the story of Taha Aki's battle (Each dance or song if for a particular reason). The boys all are part of a drum as well. To be part of a drum is much like a musical band. The opens with a first (sung by a single person), everyone joins in on the 2nd, 3rd and the 3rd repeat. Sam is typically the lead and also does the honor beats in the song (certain strong single beats that are distinct and separate from the groups cohesive joint beats that really almost sound like one person playing), with Jacob singing as the 2nd (he steps in if Sam misses the jump in or if Sam tells him to), and there are other roles like Jared as medicine keeper (but all that matters more to the members than it does to anyone else). They all play on the same drum. Their mates (when and if each one has one) will sit with their back to the drummers – when it is their turn to drum (every drum has a turn and so everyone has a chance to dance). The women/mates sit this way to watch the horizon and protect them from attack (not that anyone is attacking these days – it is now just a tradition). Sam is lead on the drum, maybe it is because he is the oldest. I play the rattle, sing and used to sit at Sam's back. I was there many years. Jacob Black is the lead in the Wolf Dance, this is because he can trace his history to Taha Aki. Jacob wants his best friends to be his 2nds in the dance(Like the drum, the 2nd assists the lead), but they are not as coordinated as Sam so he usually chooses Sam (Sam does not want to lead EVER but does. He will do whatever he considers to be his duty, no matter how hard it is for him.).

We worked on our regalia during Sam's two years in Jr High. G.Q. got real sick around then. He had prostate cancer. G.Q. wanted life to stay normal and since he could not teach us to hunt bear or whale, he decided to teach us how to make our own regalia. I spent 2 years on my Fancy Dance regalia. The wolf pattern is fierce and feminine at the same time. I love the colors. The blue-green of the ocean, purple wampum, the browns and tans of the earth, the white of the clouds, the yellow of the sun, and the green of the pines and moss. I love the long tassels on my shawl, how they fly as move. G.Q. told us many stories. Stories he had listened to as a child. He taught me so much, I do not recall him ever complaining or giving up or even missing a planned day with us. Each day after the surgery and all through the chemotherapy and then the radiation treatments, he would watch Sam and glow with pride. Sam worked had to earn his approval. I don't think Sam realized that G.Q. was always proud of him. I never wanted those times to end. G.Q. did recover but he was never the same. After the surgeries and the treatments he looked and seemed like the old grandfather we all call him out of respect. Sam and I spent less time with him and his own grandchildren were learning the old ways just as we had, filling his afternoons.

Sam entered into High School and he taught me the importance of family. Sam had decided freshman year to try out for the football team. He was so good that he made the varsity team – line backer. He played for four years and was offered several scholarships. But, as Sam told me, he had responsibilities and nothing would change that. Not even a scholarship. He had a duty to care for his mother, and that comes before leaving the reservation to play football. He would have quit football his sophomore year (when he received word his father would never return – this came by letter and we never discuss it), but his mother loved watching him on the football field. Sam does not believe in disappointing his mother, so he continued to play football.

When Sam was a junior and I was a freshman we made our relationship public. Everyone thought we were a perfect match. It was only a matter of time until we would marry. I dreamed of moving into his house and caring for his mother Ciara and him. It would be perfect.

My junior year Sam's mom committed suicide. We found her with the letter Sam had received 3 years before. He didn't let me read the note. There was a quiet burial for his Mom at her people's reservation. Sam went there alone. When he returned, I brought him dinner. I wound up holding him that night as he cried. That night I did not go home. I was positive that Sam was going to ask me to marry him the next day. He didn't. We did talk the next day about how we had to keep the dishonor of the night before to ourselves and that as soon as I graduated we would make things official. But to be honest with my self, Sam never used the words 'commitment' or 'engagement' or even 'marriage'.

That day Sam disappeared. All I could find was some torn clothes in the clearing near his home. No sign of struggle or fight. No footprints or tire tracks. I ran all the way home crying to my father. We started a search. When I showed the counsel his torn clothes I swear they stopped looking scared. We all searched. All over the village. There were no clues. I could not sleep or eat. Where was Sam? Why didn't he come back? We even went to the Makah tribe to see if he was there. Emily helped me hang posters. I do not know what I would have done with out my cousin.

After two weeks Sam simply re-appeared. He would not tell me where he had been, except that it was a spirit walk. Sam was changing. It was not subtle. We didn't spend as much time together, but I wanted to believe he still loved me. He always has given me what I wanted. Why wouldn't he continue to give his love when that's what I wanted? I believed we could work it out. I thought we were. Several months have passed and we begin spending a little more time together. Sam joined the counsel and spent a lot of time with them. I thought everything would still work out.