Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. It's not my fault it's weird.

They were small. They were loud. And you couldn't see the floor because there was so many of them. Alistair rubbed his eyes in disbelief. He hadn't expected this.

He'd come to this official Yu-Gi-Oh trading card game under the delusion that there would be some people his own age, sixteen. Now that he was here he found that there were a criminal number of pre-teen boys. Occasionally a large, thirty-something man stuck out in the crowd. Swearing with rage, Alistair tried to fight his way through the crowd to one of the gaming tables.

Three people stood on his foot, someone had thrown a bag of crisps at him, and he had no idea if that small child he'd stood on was alright, but finally he found himself face-to-face with his new arch-nemesis. Another small child. This one bit him.

"DUEL ME DUEL ME DUEL ME!" the squeaky voice around knee-height screamed. Alistair proceeded to swear at him for two minutes, which the young boy seemed to take as an affirmative response. The space around them seemed to clear, and the boy sat down on the floor and took a deck out of his pocket.

"You must be joking. We're going to do this on the floor?" Alistair asked. The boy gazed up at him, confused. With a sigh, Alistair sat down, took out a tissue, and wiped the floor so that it would be suited to his precious deck.

It took him four minutes to win. And that was only because he'd had to explain what the words on the kid's card meant to him. The kid didn't appear to have much knowledge of the game. He remained convinced until the very end that there was no such card as Hane Hane.

Kuriboh dealt the killing blow. It was embarrassing to be in the same room as this kid.

After his triumph Alistair tried to find a seat, only to find the seats were all occupied. He settled for standing over the shoulder of a thirty-year-old man, who apparently found whatever he was saying amusing. Apparently, no one else was amused.

Alistair stood over one shoulder of the fat man, watching him beat a little kid senseless at a children's card game. Over the shoulder of the little kid was probably the only man in room between the age of ten and thirty… he was twenty-nine. He was watching the child with great interest, and laughed insanely every time the boy tried to play a card. The boy was clearly unnerved.

After watching the boy experience the stomping of a lifetime, Alistair was certain that he was going to play this guy. Before he became overwhelmed with the screams of children, he challenged the man.

"My name's George," the man said, chuckling. He looked at Alistair as if asking him if he really thought it was worth it. Alistair nodded, and sat down opposite him. He took out his deck, shuffled and drew his cards.

Then the weird man who'd been standing over the little child's shoulder picked up Alistair's deck and began leafing through it.

"What do you think you're doing?" Alistair demanded, outraged.

"Just looking," the man answered. Alistair then wasted no time in informing the man that people like him should be locked up. The man smiled, and dropped Alistair's deck on the floor. Swearing, Alistair gathered his cards, and placed them back on the table. George was looking at him expectantly.

"What?" Alistair demanded.

"Aren't you going to shuffle your deck?" George asked. "Your deck has been compromised by that drop. Alistair told him where to shove his compromise and to mind his own deck. George flat out refused to begin unless Alistair shuffled his deck. Alistair caved, and shuffled the greatest hand ever drawn into his deck, convinced that this was some plot devised between the jerk and George.

Alistair scowled at his hand, and took out a piece of paper and a pen, and hastily scribbled down his life-points.

"What are you doing?" George asked, before bringing out a special, custom made device which displayed the two players' life-points on it. George laughed again.

Alistair went first. The moment he went to play a card, the man behind him laughed. Keeping his face impassive, Alistair played the card.

George played a card, laughed at it, and declared his turn over. The man behind Alistair laughed while he made his move, and George laughed anytime he said something. It was somewhat of an irritation.

After four turns of this, Alistair turned around and smacked the man behind him in the face. The man shouted, before storming out of the room.

George did not look pleased. But the game continued. Then George suffered the greatest humiliation he has ever faced. The killing blow was dealt by Kuriboh.

Alistair was just beginning to wonder what was wrong with these people when George reacted.

"But I never lose!" he screamed, leaping out of his seat and running out of the room, crying, leaving his deck behind him. The seat was quickly occupied by someone Alistair's age.

"Some of the older guys take this a bit seriously," the boy said to Alistair, taking George's deck and pocketing it. "George is the worst. Apparently his girlfriend left him because he wanted her to dress up like the Dark Magician."

"That's just weird," Alistair said.

"I know. That's why I asked my girlfriend to dress up as the Dark Magician Girl."

Alistair stared at him for a second.

"That's just as bad."

"No it isn't. It was fantastic." Alistair stared at this boy for a second.

"I'm Alistair," he said.

"Harry," the boy said, before taking out his deck. "And I believe we're going to have a game."

Harry put up a better fight than George or the little kid did at the start, but he seemed to deliver things rather half-heartedly. He sighed whenever he drew a card, as if he was looking forward immensely to drawing a particular card.

Then he played the Dark Magician Girl, and it all went downhill from there.

The post-puberty people present (and there weren't many of them) stood around the table drooling. Harry kept trying to chat up the card, and seemed undeterred when he got no answers.

A few turns later, Harry drew a card and grinned.

"Oh my… twins."

Harry played another Dark Magician Girl and began alternating between them with his pick-up lines. Eventually he let Alistair have his turn.

Alistair was halfway through playing his ultimate combo when he looked up, to see Harry. His eyes were wide staring at the Dark Magician Girls, and his hand was moving frantically. Alistair stared at him for a moment.

"That's it, I'm out of here," he announced, picking up his deck and walking out of the hall, leaving Harry to enjoy himself.

And he did.