"I'm coming!" I yelled back. I paused to look in the mirror one last time before I headed down. I wasn't sure I was dressed right. But then again I guess it didn't matter anyway. It wasn't like I knew where we were going or anything.
"Finally! What the hell took you so long? You're were only grabbing a sweater" Jen muttered ushering me out the door. She threw me a look, "We're gonna be late"
I climed into the passenger's side of Grams car. "Where are we going anyway?" I asked, since this was our last night in Capeside for the summer I figured Jen and Dawson would be up to something.
"Well Jo, since you took it upon yourself to spend most of the summer moping around the B&B, we decided, as your best friends that you had to get out and live a little"
I sighed, I knew she was right. I had spent the summer in a serious funk. But who could blame me? Everywhere I tried to go just reminded me of Pacey...even just saying his name in my head sent me into a daze...
"Pacey! What the hell is wrong with you", I gasped, finally catching up with him on the deck of the True Love 2. Pacey, Jen, Dawson and I had all been having a nice time at Hell's Kitchen. All of a sudden he came back from the bathroom, grabbed his coat and ran out. I didn't know what the hell his problem was.
"Fuck off Jo! What the hell do you think is wrong with me?" Pacey glared at me coldly, "And who told you that you could come aboard?" He spat, "I sure as hell don't want you here" He turned away from me and crossed his arms. "I want anything to do with you anymore."
I was stunned and broke down into tears. "What! I thought that we we're finally okay!. That we had worked everything out. Why are you doing this!" I honestly had no idea what the problem was. It was the last year in College before graduation. Audrey was back in LA, Pacey was still in Boston living with Jack and Emma. Jen and Dawson were still together and more in love then ever. And I had finally come to terms with my heart. I knew from the begining of the year that I was still in love with Pacey. Dawson and Jen's relationship was okay with me. In fact, the four of us were all best friends again. And I thought Pacey and I were on the road to getting back together. I was going to tell him tonight that I still loved him. He was going sailing for the summer again, and I had hoped that I would be going with him. And now I didn't know what was going on.
Pacey stared at me. I could feel the anger even from where I stood. "Why am I doing what Jo? I'm leaving, I didn't think you would have a problem with that!"
I gasped through my tears, "Going? Where? Pacey damn it tell me what's going on?" I begged him. He couldn't mean he was leaving for the summer yet, could he? Damn it, this was not supposed to happen like this.
"Yes Jo, I think I am. Right now in fact. So kindly show yourself off this boat." Pacey couldn't look at her, it hurt too much.
I grabbed his arm, "Please Pacey! I don't know what I did, but please!" I was sobbing and begging and doing anything I could to understand what was going on. "Please just tell me what happened? I love you Pacey! I want to be with you!
He stopped and looked at me. He actually laughed, "You love me? You.Love.Me? Who are you kidding Jo? You never have and you never will be able to make up your mind. You'll always have someone else waiting the the wings. First is was Dawson, now it's Eddie. You don't know what you want!" As he said this I was giving up and leaving the boat. When I had just stepped back onto the pier he said Eddie's name. I froze and my head snapped up, "Eddie?" I whispered, I hadn't heard Eddie's name all year. I thought he was in California. "What does Eddie have to do with this Pace?" But it was too late, he was already sailing off without a backwards glance.
"Jo? What's up?" I looked up and saw Jen staring at me with concern. I noticed that he were parked at Leery's Fresh Fish.I sighed again and wiped a tear from my eye. I knew I couldn't lie to her. She would see right through anything I tried to say. I just gave her the truth.
"Pacey. I know that he explained everything to you and Dawson over the summer. But I still can't stop replaying everything over and over in my mind. I can't get passed the pain. I just wanted to make everything right." And before I knew it I was sobbing again. Jen reached over and pulled me to her. She just held me and let me cry.
I knew that Pacey had written letters to both Jen and Dawson over the summer, explaining why he had left without out saying goodbye to them. Jen always told my everything that he said, even offering to let me read the letters since the were all about me anyway. But I couldn't even bear to look at his handwriting. If only he had explained to them what he had meant about Eddie. But he told Jen that he'd tell her all about it when he got back. All his letters said was that he loved me with all of his heart, but he couldn't go through the pain again. He said that his heart had been broken enough, and if it went through that again he didn't think it would ever heal. It had brought a smile to my face knowing that he loved me that much, but I was dying inside because I knew that we would never be together again. I turned to look at Jen, drying my eyes.
"Okay, I think I'm ready to go in now" She squeezed my hand,
"Don't worry about it Jo. We'll help you fix this mess as soon as Pacey gets back" She hugged me one last time. "I love you Jo. And I know that Pacey does too. As soon as he gets his ass back on dry land I'll kick it for you." I laughed at that, she continued, "Then Dawson and I will lock him in a room until he explains himself."
I only hope that she and Dawson can work the miracle that's needed in this case. Jen and I link arms and walk into the resturant. We spotted Dawson finishing up his shift and rushing over to us.
"Hey guys, I'm just finishing up and then we can get outta here.",He tells us, leaning in to kiss Jen. He pulls her aside, "Jo? Mom wants to talk to you for a second, I think it has something to do with you watching Lilly tomorrow" I nod and make my way over to Gale.
"Honey, what's going on?" Jen can tell that he's trying to tell her something. She wraps her arms around his waist. "Just spit it out"
"Tonight's not gonna go exactly as planned. Instead of getting Joey's mind off Pacey, I think she's going to be thinking of him a lot tonight." Dawson sighed and pointed off to his left. "He came back today and he's walking right toward us"
"Shit!" Jen looked up, praying that Joey hadn't seen Pacey yet. But just before Pacey reached them, Jen saw Joey beside her, tight-lipped and white-faced.
I spotted Pacey and I froze at Jen's side. I didn't want to speak, but I felt my lips betraying me. "Pacey" I whispered.