Disclaimer: Achingly not mine.
A/N: Written for Challenge #013 'Lessons' at the community ygodrabble on LiveJournal.
Downward Dogs and Wobbly Warriors
© Scribbler, August 2010.
Honda didn't know how this happened. He couldn't even say "This is another fine mess you've gotten us into, Jounouchi!" because he couldn't remember if the argument had ended with Anzu challenging him, or Jounouchi challenging her to stop him. Either way, Honda had no memory of himself or Yuugi getting or receiving any challenge. Their presence today was a mystery.
"Now lift your hips, tucking your abdominals in so your body resembles an upside-down V. Use that band of belly-muscle to raise your entire hiney into the air, people."
Hiney. He was in a room with a man wearing the tightest shorts known to mankind, who used the word hiney without irony, and he was following every order the guy gave. Honda didn't care whose fault it was, he was going to punish whoever was responsible for this situation.
"Does everyone remember the name of this pose? That's right; Downward Facing Dog," Shorty-Shorts said. It figured.
Yuugi wobbled. His arms trembled with the strain of maintaining the pose. His hair was soaked with sweat and drooped like a dying spider-plant. He glanced sideways at Honda, and there was desperation in his eyes.
"Now bring one foot forward, placing it between your hands. Really feel that stretch in your groin and inner-thighs. Don't skimp on that stretch!"
"Is he kidding?" On Honda's other side, Jounouchi panted like a downward-facing-dog left in the car too long on a hot day.
"Use your thigh muscles to raise yourself up."
"Is this Surfer About to Fall Off His Board pose?" Jounouchi muttered.
They stood with difficulty, holding out their arms like they were indeed riding an invisible wave. Honda's legs burned. And he'd thought it hurt when he got off his motorcycle? This was torture! Soon he wouldn't be able to produce children anymore!
"This pose is called Warrior One. Can you feel how energised your body is right now?" Shorty-Shorts sounded like he really believed it, too. All Honda's energy had flowed out of his feet and soaked into his mat.
Somehow, they made it through the series of poses and seemingly-impossible stretches, until finally the blessed words came.
"Aaaand you did it! Great job, everyone. I'll see you for our next lesson this time next week – old faces and new." He winked at Jounouchi, who blushed scarlet and made for the locker room at Warp Nine.
Anzu intercepted him before he got there. "Still think yoga is – now let me see if I remember this right –" Her eyes gleamed. "- 'For wimps who can't handle real exercise'. That was how you described it, right?"
Before Jounouchi could reply, Honda clapped a hand over his mouth. Best friend or not, no way was he going to let anyone put him through this again. "You win. Yoga's tough. Can we go now?"
Anzu gave a victorious smile. "Sure. I need to hit the showers anyway." She flipped her towel over her shoulder. The front of her crop-top was dark with sweat. She sauntered away, once again having won an argument against Jounouchi with dirty tricks and stupid ploys like facts and evidence.
"Guh," Yuugi murmured.
"For crying out loud!" Honda steered both his friends away. Jounouchi shook him off, glaring. Honda raised a finger. "Not one word, dude, or I swear, I will whoop your ass so it hurts more than this stupid class already hurt it."
"Nung," Yuugi added, eyes slightly unfocussed. "Vwaah."
The instructor, who had been headed towards them, sighed and turned away. "It figures," Honda heard him say. "The good ones are always straight or taken."
Fin.
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