A/N: I just read Burned by Ellen Hopkins, and knew that this was one story definitely in deserving of a great fan fiction. No guarantees that this will be the one to do it justice, just hopes that you'll like what you read. This is my fan fiction about what happens after the book is over. I tried to do it in different formats, just like the books, but I'm not sure if it'll come out when I post it up. Either way, enjoy and review!
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters mentioned, including Pattyn or Evan. They belong to the author, Ellen Hopkins.
I meant to do it,
fully intended to pull
out the gun
take
my careful aim
and squeeze
the trigger.
I was going to shoot
that awful man
who droned
on and on
about God.
God, who would allow
us to enter
his Kingdom,
the highest
level of Heaven
if we were truly
deserving.
Even though, all
this awful man
has been telling me
lately
is that he's not
sure
that I'll ever get
forgiveness.
Forgiveness that I'm not sure
that I want.
God, who I'm sure knows
that all those people
who caused my baby, my love,
my Evan
to die, deserved the same
fate
that he recieved.
And I probably would've done it, too
but when I pulled out the gun,
I realized that they'd already won.
Even as they gasped and looked with shock
all I heard was the ticking of the clock.
Time passing, and I was starting to doubt
whether their time had really run out.
If I could really bestow them with a bullet's kiss
if I could really go through with this.
My hands shook as I took aim
and I realized I only had myself to blame.
I'd killed Evan, given him a fate so grim
as much as if I'd put this gun to him.
The Bishop gave me a look of fear
like that of a headlight-stricken deer.
And even though I'd though of him as scum at best
I knew then that he was human, nevertheless.
He was.
They were.
They all were.
Even my father.
So as my hands shook, I moved the gun with strain
and pointed it at the window pane.
With one bullet glass shattered, shards littering the floor,
just one more thing for my dear dad to pay for.
I ran from the room
Leaving silence in my wake. I could practically hear the wheels in their pathetic brains turning. Pattyn Von Stratten? They had thought a lot of things about
me. That I was pregnant (although that one was true). That I was violent. That I was crazy. But they never thought me a murderer. Just one more reason
that I couldn't go through with it. As I ran I realized that I had no idea where I was going. But I had to keep running. Running, like I could leave my personal
demons behind me. Running, like I could escape my actions, my past. My punishment. Running, because I knew then that there was nothing
else for me
to do, but
put one foot
in front of
the other
on the icey
pavement.