"Well, why? Why would it bother us to see us with other people?"
Oh God, where was he going with this? If I had more than brother-sister feelings for Fang, I could barely admit them to myself, much less him.
"'Cause we're shallow and self-serving?" I tried, wishing he would just drop it.
He rolled his eyes and took my hand. His hand was hard and callused, tough with muscle and old scars. The night settled around us like a blanket. I could hear the water lapping against the dock. We were totally alone.
"You're…," he began, and I waited, heart throbbing in my throat. "Such a pain," he concluded.
"What?" I asked, just as his head swooped in and his mouth touches mine. I tried to speak, but one of Fang's hands held the back of my head, and he kept his lips pressed against me, kissing me softly but with a Fanglike determination.
Oh jeez. I thought distractedly. Jeez this is Fang, and me, and… Fang tilted his head to kiss me more deeply and I felt totally lightheaded. Then I remembered to breathe through my nose and the fog cleared a tiny bit. Somehow we were pressed together, Fang's arms around me now, sliding under my wings, his hands flat against my back.
It was incredible. I loved it. I loved him.
It was a total disaster.
Gasping, I pulled back. "I uh—," I began oh so coherently, and then I jumped up, almost knocking him over, and raced down the dock. I took off, flying fast, like a rocket.
(Almost a year later)
So news flash for all of those who haven't been keeping up with the times: I'm Max I live with my Father, and my Mother, my half sister and my five other recombinant DNA flock members. Avian-human recombinant DNA, that is. It's been eight months since the last little out burst of blatant hostility from the criminally insane 'Doctors' of the Itex corporation. I still have my voice, Angel's mind is getting stronger everyday, Nudge can still bend metallic things to her will, Iggy can still 'feel' colors, Fang can still disappear, Gazzy can still mimic sounds; oh and we can all still fly, yep just another day in life after saving the world. I was sitting in my split room with Ella, the half sister I never knew I had, learning about how music was the glue of the world, other than the six bird-kid-freaks she lived with. "Music can bring any two people together; find the two worst feuding people ever and there is at least one song the both honestly like and they'll sit and listen to it without fighting." She said knowledgeably pulling out something small and white that I'd heard Jeb, a.k.a. Dad, call his an Ipod. "This Ipod can hold 500 songs and 75 videos, I'll download some songs and put them on it and when you and Fang get back I'll give it to you so you can fall in love with music too. Hope you have fun, do you want to borrow something to wear, well except for shirts of course." This was all new to me. I thought Iggy was patrolling with me this afternoon. "Uh, Fang? I thought it was Iggy's turn today." She turned back to me and looked ashamed. "Oops, I wasn't supposed to tell you they switched times. Don't tell Fang I told you, though, he'll get mad at me. But do you want to borrow some jeans?" she held up four or five pairs up hiding her face so I couldn't tell if she was blushing or not. I took one of the darker wash jeans that I had found out, apparently looked good on my figure and skin tone. I might as well look good on the way to the park woods.
I made my way down to the park, about a five-minute walk from the condo we all lived in, after promising Ella I wouldn't tell Fang. We made it a habit to meet by the woods in the back of the park to fly up inconspicuously in twos every morning, at two in the afternoon, and at dusk to check that everything was going as good as it could go. It was a security thing as much as a way to keep our wings in shape just in case we needed them in tight situations. Although we do all go out for the occasional midnight breakaway flight. Wearing the jeans I had borrowed, my modified T-shirt and jacket, I walked about twenty yards into the woods looked up, and immediately jumped up, snapping my wings out momentarily to help me reach the tree branches. Fang was sitting silently and camouflaged into the tree but I knew he was there, I sensed him. To my amazement, when I settled down on the large branch he started moving as if he was suppressing laughter. "You look like a crouched tiger ready to pounce, Max." He said when he came into view. "How'd you know I was up here?" I smirked at him, glad he was speaking, let alone to me. "I smelled you; the forest smells like dirt and water and, well wood, and you smell like you just came out of the shower. Then I followed the typical Fang mind set and looked up, you were tapping your foot. Careless mistake, Fang… We're getting rusty." his face lost all trace of humor after my last words. "From lack of fighting, yeah we are getting rusty but, I didn't switch Iggy time slots to talk logistics with you Max. But I'll wait until after patrol, we can have a picnic lunch." You two are completely irrevocably infatuated with each other. My voice pipped in at the oh so wrong moment. Because of the surprise of the quip I almost yelled out loud.
Shut up, we are not. I grimaced as I thought loudly to my idiotic voice. He smirked crookedly knowing that when my face scrunched up like that I was yelling at the voice and took off out of the tree and into the sky, leaving me to wonder if he'd been laughing at me or not. My wings unfolding out, I shot off after him and started to challenge him to a race, but thought better of it. We flew for an hour or so with nothing in sight but normal people walking their dog or jogging to lose weight or playing games with their kids. Watching some of this made my heart ache for the normalcy of it all. But I enjoyed most of what we were too much to give it up. We circled around and sped towards our woods and touched down about a yard from the tree where we took off. I never got tired of being able to land in a place that was familiar to me again and again, instead of landing some where new everyday. Fang landed milliseconds after me and turned on a pin to reach under a few bushes to get the picnic he'd promised to me. He had the works: sandwiches, chips, drinks, fruit, veggies, dip, candy bars, plain meat, plain cheese, everything. Even a blanket to sit on. he sat everything out and watched me tentatively as I took a bite of a sandwich. "Is it good? I didn't know what you'd want so I went with turkey and Swiss, light on the Mayo on white bread…." He spoke so quickly that I had to read his lips to understand him. "Slow down Fang. It's good, now eat some of it I can't eat it all."
Though I could have about a year ago I would have killed, scratch that, I did kill for food in this quantity and quality. He finally took a sandwich for himself and a few bites into it, he started making small talk like when some one wanted to let you have a big chunk of news, they'd ask questions related to it to soften the blow. "So, how do you like being settled down, I mean as far down as we can get?" I stopped mid bite on my second sandwich, jeez he was a good cook. "Well, it's nice, but I can foresee it getting boring over these next months, before they get us enrolled in school we won't have anything much to do unless we all get into those karate classes Mo- Dr. Martinez talked about." I hated when I slipped up and said the M or the D words in front of any of the flock because I was the only one to have mine back, and admitting that after fifteen or so years I needed them, made me feel weak. Fang lean closer to me and placed his hand on the side of my arm lightly. "You can call her what she is. It won't bother me." I looked at him sideways now. "No I-God Fang, you all wanted to find your families and I found mine, even without trying or wanting to. I just think it's unfair to the little ones and you and Iggy, no matter what every time we possibly got closer to finding out a family tie you all lit up. You and Iggy not so much, but the desire was there." I leaned into his hand a little seeking comfort. "Yeah, but what I wanted most, was for everyone to realize that we were, still are in fact, a family if not by blood with all of us then in spirit and genetic abnormalities. I really wanted you to realize what's right in front of your face, too."
He pulled his hand back and looked at me with warm determination in his deep mahogany brown eyes. I leaned back in to place and looked at him with confusion in my eyes. "What are you talking about?" He shook his head little pieces of hair falling into his face hiding it and outlining him at the same time. "Max, I'm going to have to spell it out for you, aren't I?" I kept up my confusion façade and scrunched up my eyebrows at him. "What now, Fang? You're confusing me more than usual." He let out an aggravated sigh and pulled his hair back with his fingers. "We aren't at war with the mad scientists of the world so will you please be open minded about this and hear me out?" I nodded not trusting myself to speak for fear of spluttering like a maniac in fear. "I like you. Other wise I wouldn't put myself repeatedly in the position of trying to kiss you like a normal teenaged guy would kiss the normal teenaged girl he liked. You freak out, mumble two words, then fly away leaving me frustrated, and at a loss for words, let alone the will to fly after you in search of another rejection… … … So, will you tell me whether or not you like me? Or will this go on and on until one us gets tired of it and leaves for good." I couldn't stop the spluttering now but I'm sure they were a few words of encouragement to him in the crazed jumble of half words… if he could find them. "I, bu- the- why-a yes- bu-tha- crap. I do bu- Aaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhh." I ended on an extremely long growl of frustration and Fang wrapped me in a giant bear hug that silenced me before I could think to fly away again. It was unFanglike to hug anyone or say more than six words in a sentence, but I have a feeling he was making an exception for me.
After regaining what sense I still had left, minutes later mind you; I looked up at his hooded eyes and let out a sigh to prepare myself. "We're not normal, Fang, never will be, but even if we were I couldn't handle this any better then. We have Iggy, and Nudge and Gazzy and Angel to take care of, we don't have time for this, do we?" I left my statement open-ended just in case he came up with a solution to the biggest problem we'd come across to date. He growled lowly in exasperation. "Max, you're not doing triple shifts anymore, you are just you, not flock mom, not flock leader, just one of the flock. Jeb and your mom took those roles over. Can't you see they want you to be as much of a normal teenager as you can be, and you need to forget that you had those responsibilities, it's the first step. Please give me a straight answer: Do you or don't you like me back?" I pushed my hair out of my face to look him in the eyes and see the silent plea of truth in his face, he really did like me, more than I could imagine, and he wanted me to like him back. I delved into my mind, found a place where I could pretend we didn't grow up together and that we were both normal; would I like him? … I got the immediate answer: YYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSS! forced back out of my mind into Fang's hugging arms I answered in a shy whisper. "Yes, I do…" His face leapt into the happiest grin I'd ever seen, and he swooped in to lay his lips gently on mine. For once I didn't pull away I tried to remember to breathe out of my nose, but I would get a whiff of his skin's scent and I'd forget again. I pushed my lips into his and kissed back for the first time and it set his hands on high alert, moving from the sides of my arms to my back. Under my wings warm and gentle, they flattened out to hold me there even though I wasn't going to pull away. Fang tilted his head to one side and tried to deepen the kiss, but I still wasn't breathing through my nose and I had to pull my lips away from his slowly, to gulp down air greedily.
"Max, I thought… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…" I shook my head slowly, somehow he was still holding on to me lightly and I noticed for the first time that my arms were around his neck, linked together around him. I smiled sheepishly. "No I- uh forgot how to breathe through my nose… Sorry." I bit my lip, nervous for the first time around him in awhile. The fingers of one hand were tracing the outline of where one wing met my back. Due to the modifications in the shirt, it was bare skin he touched; it made me shiver, but not my usual shiver, this wasn't a shiver of fear, this was something new, strange and exhilarating. His other hand was cupping the side of my face lightly as he smiled and laughed quietly. "Oh, I thought I was moving too fast or, you changed your mind… or something." I blinked, removed my hands from his neck and smirked up at him. "No, I don't know how to change my mind, remember, you tried to change my mind before. It didn't work. Well it kinda did but I didn't want to change it then… I …" Taking a big totally un-me-like leap I told him what I had felt when he'd tried to kiss me…both times. "I was… scared… I didn't want to put myself into your hands fully… you know how I am about not being in charge of everything I do or The Flock does." I let out a whoosh of air after my confession and waited on baited breath for his response. His eyebrows met, and became one as I spoke his head tiling to the side in confusion and shock. "Scared? Max, you were scared? Why?" I shrugged not wanting to give away any more than I already, seeing my clam-up coming, Fang smirked and shook his head. "I'm not giving up on this one Max I'll get it out of you eventually, so you might as well spill it."
I gave a pleading look but he shook his head no again. "Fang…" I said incredulously, and continued at his stern look. "Well, I'm used to doing everything myself and I was afraid of the possibility that something horrible would happen the second I admitted to myself that I liked you. Or that once you and me got together, the world would start crumbling away again, and I'd be so wrapped up in 'us' that I couldn't do anything about it. Or that The Flock would start fighting and we wouldn't be able to keep us going. Or that if we didn't work out then it would be awkward afterward or…" His jaw had dropped after the second 'or' but he recovered by the third one. "Max, you can't control every aspect of your life, not even half of them all. But you can control the fact that you can take that fear of not controlling them all." He leaned in again holding my face still, and kissed my cheek lightly. I had thought -and now that I realize it hoped- he was going to kiss me on the lips again. "I doubt you and I would 'not work out' we have to much in common so it wouldn't be not 'clicking' we've known each other forever so it wouldn't be lack of trust. And we both know we like each other and are ready to face that or you would have flown off ages ago. So what wouldn't work out between us in your little scenario?" Fang was smirking again and that told me that I was almost out of the fire when it came to delving into the crowded and confused mind of Maximum Ride-Martinez. "I don't know; I think I had thought of us not agreeing on something I'd said was for the better of The Flock and we would argue and yell and fight and then we freak out on each other and say it's over." We stood knowing that it was almost time to head back to the house before Mom started to worry and freak and Jeb would have to sedate her. Again.
Ever since we flew away from them back in D.C. just over a year ago she'd been more paranoid as ever, almost never letting us fly, only letting us out in sets of two or more. But, back to the now, with Fang, strong, safe, gorgeous, mine, Fang. Funny how possessive I got within a matter of minutes. I looped my arm in his and some how his hand snaked it self into mine even with our arms locked together. We walked slowly through the park not wanting to head back to the house yet, when I caught a glimpse of hair moving from behind a jungle gym wall. Both Fang and I looked at each other and nodded, understanding each other immediately. We let go of the other's hand and then casually walked around on opposite sides of the wall to corner……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Gazzy????? "Gazzy! What the are you doing? You nearly scared me to death I thought you were an eraser or some new thing those scientists who got away came up with." Gazzy laughed whole-heartedly almost making me forget that he just nearly got himself killed. Almost. "Ella and Iggy wanted to know how it went so I offered to come up and see even though it think its gross that you two even like each other. Girls are mean and call me 'stinky-face'." Mother instincts kicked in. "Who called you that? You know what? Nevermind you need to shower once in a while and tone down on food that's gaseous Gazzy." The Gasman's jaw dropped after that. "Why did they want to know?" Came Fang's deep timber. Gazzy looked at Fang like he was stupid. "Duh, they both helped to set this up why wouldn't they be anxious to see what happened? Nudge said she hoped you two were fighting because Max is just too cool to be with anyone. And Iggy and Ella both said you guys were talking and figuring out what you were gonna do."
I just shook my head and ruffled his hair, before getting a plan and crouching close to him. "Next time I wouldn't offer to do the job so fast; what if you had saw us kissing…" He backed away disgusted. "YOU KISSED EACH OTHER?????" Great now the whole park knew. "Fang leaned down and whispered so low I'm not sure Gazzy even heard him, but the next second Gazzy ran away screaming, about cooties and hating girls. "What did you say to him, Fang?" He simply smirked and walked toward the street. "Nothing, Max, nothing at all." I whirled him around so fast even my head spun a little. "Tell me!" I softened my voice because I was being Flock leader Max. "Please?" The word burned down my throat. His eyes wide he nodded. "I told him that I'd liked it and that he would eventually like girls too. He seemed to take it better that I expected though." Fang looked me in the eye and kissed my cheek lightly before we walked back to the house. Along our way there, Fang's right hand twitched constantly as if it itched to hold my left. The surprise was clear on his face when I took his hand in mine lacing our fingers securely together. I smiled and he lifted our hand to his face to rub the back of my hand along his cheek before kissing one of my knuckles lightly. Ella and Iggy greeted us both joined at the hip from the excitement of seeing us hand in hand. Ella took me to her room and Iggy practically dragged Fang to theirs.
"Ella for the last time I'm not going to tell you what happened and I guarantee that Iggy's not getting anything from Fang. So just drop it." The voice was rearing it's ugly… voice again. It's wrong to hide things from family Max. I hate it when it's right. Shut up dang it You're already in my head are you wanting to control it too? It was silent once again.