(A/N: Well, I am making my comeback! I don't have any writing programs on my NEW COMPUTER… But I should get some within the year at least. Hopefully. This is completely made on school computers, since I am in a Creative Writing class, I can get this done. Well, this story is for my own challenge… A "Secret Tapes" idea. So, my subject in this story is Mikey. It will be a series of tapes, him talking about anything and everything. It gets extremely dark, so beware.)
March 21st, 2008 – 8:07pm
Hands are fumbling with the camera, blocking the view. After he is satisfied with the camera's position, Michelangelo points the camera to a chair in his room and takes a seat. The room is not cluttered in the least (despite popular belief). He flashes a smile to the camera.
"Hi there! So uh… I don't know how I am supposed to start this… Well, my name is Michelangelo, but uh… Call me Mikey?"
His face is shown embarrassed. His cheeks flush slightly.
"Why did I just say that? Sorry to make myself sound so stupid… Uh… Camera? I need a way cooler name for you. How about George? Steve? No, no… Those are too human…"
He has a face of pure concentration.
"How about… Lacey? That's a girl's name… Ugh. This is way too hard. I'm just going to call you Lacey. Okay, soooo… Donny gave me a camera to do whatever I want to do with it. I asked for ideas, since you know… I don't think I want to make a movie or a… Um… Porno or anything."
He face-palms with a freaked out look.
"I really, reeeaallly hope Leo won't watch this. He would lecture me for weeks. But anyways, Don suggested a video journal type thing. So here I am. But I am kind of confused to… Well, what am I supposed to say? Just talk about my day? I don't get it… Well, since I need to finish up here… I guess see you tomorrow, Lacey?"
He stands and strides over to the camera. The view goes black.
March 22nd, 2008 – 7:47pm
Instead of seeing Michelangelo hover in front of the camera, he is already in the chair. He waves to the camera.
"Hey Lacey! I'm back! Look what Don gave me! Isn't it awesome?"
He holds a small remote up in the air. He grins.
"It's so that it'll be easier to do everything, you know. With you… Wait, that sounds weird… It's pretty much so I can press record from here than over there. So I won't be all up in your space."
Michelangelo tucks the small device into his belt and out of view. He focuses back onto the camera.
"Don also told me what I should do. 'Talk about my feelings', he said. Well, pshh. I'll talk about what I want… Alright, so I went to April's today, because she wanted to speak to me about something. I went over there, of course. I mean, she's one of our best friends. She's almost like… My mom or sister or something. Seriously. But that is beside the point. I hurried over there, you know… 'Cause it sounded important and everything. I finally get there, and you won't believe what happened!"
He, out of nowhere, face-palms again.
"She asked if I like… If I like… Dudes. Of course, I told her, 'Hell no!'. Well, not exactly like that, but you know what I mean. But then again, I never really am around either. I mean, I am a turtle. I don't really know any dudes beside my bros and Casey. And they aren't exactly my type. I guess… And girls, the only one I am close to is April. But if they are like her, I think I am straight. Definitely straight. Wait, did I just have to convince myself that. Whatever."
After his little episode, his face becomes slightly more serious. He nervously twiddles his thumbs.
"Well… After all of that, I of course asked her why. She said that I am always so feminine. Maybe I am. I don't know. I just am myself. I don't try to follow that human trend, of being someone you're not…"
He slightly trails off, but clears his throat moments later.
"Well… Then she asked me if I am 'okay'. I don't know how to answer that question. How do you answer a question like that? If you say yes or no, isn't it pretty much a lie? I mean, if I told her I was… Then it would have to be. I mean, I live in a filthy sewer with almost nothing to my name, while humans walk the world that isn't even that far from where I stand… And they get to be free. They don't have to worry about being killed or caught every second of the day, they don't have to hide. So I guess that means… I am not okay…"
The last part was slightly mumbled. His face is red from slight anger. He frowns.
"That's not what I told her though. The thing is, April is behind some sort of façade that we have lived this long, so we must enjoy how we do live. Well, I don't. She thinks everything must be easier and more fun… Not being in the government problems and such… But it isn't. She thinks it's all fun and games… But it isn't!"
His breathing becomes slightly labored, with oncoming tears. He wipes them away hastily.
"I-I told her I was…"
He pulls the remote back out, his thumb over the power button.
"But Lacey, don't let anyone fool you. I'm not."
The screen goes black.
March 29th, 2008 – 9:23pm
Michelangelo is seated on his chair. He has a slight smile on his face, but it looks forced. He places the remote back into its holding place.
"Hey Lacey… Sorry about not coming for the past week… Things have been a little hectic. Are you ready for a happy thing instead of a bad or weird thing? April Fools is coming up! I have to get everything ready. I mean, I am known as not only the best looking and most fun turtle, I am also the prankster. Which is important to who I am, you know."
He lets out a shaky laugh, startlingly loud. He shakes his head in silence for a few moments.
"Do you really think I am being honest? Please. This isn't who I am. When I said April was under a façade, and gave her a bunch of crap about it… Well… I guess I am kind of under a façade too. My family too. Hell, maybe everyone in the world is. I don't know. I live in a sewer, remember? Anyways, it's really late. I better get this done and over with fast. So… My plan this year involves April. We are going to prank my bros and Casey into believing she is pregnant. I know, cold, right? It should go fine though. Because like… It always does. In the end, at least."
He pulls the remote back out.
"Good night, Lacey."
The screen goes black.
April 3rd, 2008 – 12:04am
The room comes into view, with no Michelangelo in sight. The view is empty, but sounds are heard. Grunting, pounding… The sounds that would normally be heard from the dojo. A loud yell is heard, and a crashing sound occurs. Michelangelo comes into view, and sits down on the chair. He is breathing hard, his face in his hands. He notices the recording light on the camera is on. He stands and gets close.
"Lacey, get the HELL out of my face!"
With a shriek of anger, the camera is thrown down to the ground. The screen shows static.
April 5th, 2008 – 9:02pm
Michelangelo, much more calm, sits and is quiet. His eyes are bloodshot. He places the remote in his belt. He shakes slightly.
"I'm sorry about my behavior the other day, Lacey. And I also apologize for breaking your lens. I stole one from Don's lab and fixed you though… So I hope you can forgive me."
He sighs and slightly slows his shaking.
"So you wanna know what happened, huh? Well, the other night… We went out to go find some baddies, and… And we came across some Purple Dragons… Leo and Donnie teamed up, and Raph is more a 'lone wolf' kind of dude, so I took on my own and let him do his thing. But… But for some reason… We just weren't at the top of our game… One of them got really close on Leo… He looked like all he had was a pipe or something… But… We were all… We were wrong…"
His voice slightly breaks in a few tears. He wipes them away.
"He had a knife. A freaking knife and we didn't even notice… Until it was too late. They stabbed him… In the side… It went really deep. He didn't even cry out or anything. It was probably the most honorable thing he ever did. He kept fighting. Shit… I know I wouldn't keep fighting after that."
Michelangelo sniffled a little bit. He frowned.
"The worst part is, that's not even all the happened! Raph decided to get all distracted… And… And he got shot!"
He breaks from the tale with a loud sob. He wipes his eyes again.
"It hit him in the shoulder. We knew we were at a loss… We hurried and took them down… Raph was already down for the count… And Leo was tiring out really fast… It was scary. Way too scary. Once they were all down, of course we freaked out. I mean, two of our own were hurt. Our team. Our freaking brothers. We helped them back to our place, and of course, Leo had to go all 'Fearless Leader' on us. He kept on trying to force both of us onto Raph first and not even worry about him. Man, he is so stubborn at times."
He shakes his head a bit, with a slight smirk at the memory.
"But Don said that even if Raph needed immediate attention, Leo needed someone to help him. I mean, him doing all the stuff he did, it made him even more hurt. It made him bleed a lot. I stayed behind with Leo, and had the duty of keeping pressure on his injury. I knew it hurt, from the look on his face… But other than that, he did a great job of trying to make me think he would be fine. I talked to him to keep him conscious, because he could've well… You know… If he went unconscious… And I kinda yelled at him a bit. For being to brave. Too selfless. But he went all 'big brother' on me that time… It felt as if he was saying goodbye… And…"
He choked back a sob. His breath began to become shakier.
"He said that if he died… It would've been worth it, because he didn't want to see us die before him… I… I told that he needed to shut up… And wait for Don… Because Raph was going to be okay… And so was he. So the rest of the time I was around him, it was pretty quiet. But good thing too, Don came back. He seemed a tad bit more relaxed when he began to help me with Leo. We only know pretty basic stuff, like we know stitching and everything little like that… And Don learned how to take bullets out after the first time one of us got shot... We just hoped that Leo was better than everything looked. Because if it was as bad as it looked… Then we knew we wouldn't be able to do anything…"
He calmed down slightly.
"We were lucky… We were so freaking lucky… We were able to fix Leo up with just some stitches. He didn't have much damage at all. It was a freaking miracle. All we really had to worry about was blood loss… But it wasn't nearly as scary as worrying about death… So what happened was that both Leo and Raph survived. They were okay! Nothing to fret about, right? Not for me."
He sighed, looking down to the floor instead of at the camera.
"I just feel as if… What if we did something different? If we were more of a team… If I had done something… Maybe I could've helped to prevent this from even happening in the first place. I know I always tell my bros to not hold fault on their shoulders and everything… But I just can't help it. If I did something different, then they wouldn't even be hurt in the first place! That is the reason I am so mad, Lacey… Not at you, at myself."
He pulls the remote out again with shaking fingers.
"It's getting late, Lacey. Good night."
The screen goes black.
April 16th, 2008 – 10:09
Michelangelo is sitting in his chairs in tears, he notices the recording light on camera on.
"L-Lacey… You can just tell when I am hurting, can't you? I don't know how I do it. In the worst of situations, I still somehow put on that… That stupid mask… And pretend that everything will be okay in the end. When it won't. I know it won't."
He doesn't even bother wiping the tears away this time.
"Sorry about not talking to you in so long… How'd you even do that, anyways? Turn on by yourself? I never knew you did that. Do you have a sensor or something on you? Can you tell when I am in a bad mood? Because you always catch me at the worst of times… Well, do you really want to know what happened? It's… It's really stupid."
He shakes his head.
"It's nothing. Yeah, you heard me right. Nothing happened. I am just a freaking wimp and can't stand life. I have lived this long with no regrets, and now it seems that everything is a stupid regret. Being the light-hearted one, being hatched, being me. Every pain I have ever felt hasn't really been let out and now… And now things are just piling up. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel as if… If I keep living… Then things will just get worse. I don't need things getting worse, you know!"
He continues to cry. He completely forgets to turn off the camera as he goes out of view. The sound of blankets moving is heard, then silence. Hours go by, with only slight whimpers breaking the silence.
April 17th, 2008 – 7:24am
An exhausted looking Michelangelo walks up to the camera, which is still on. He sits down and places his head in his hands.
"Sorry you had to hear me all last night, Lacey… I was just so caught up in everything… That I forgot about you. I am so sorry. I just… I need time. I hope you understand. I need to go eat breakfast and train, though. So see you later, I guess…
He pulls out the remote and the screen is black.
April 19th, 2008 – 11:25pm
Michelangelo is shown, a bandage covering part of his bicep. He looks angry.
"I hate this so much. I got hurt, okay? Lacey, you won't believe what freaking happened. So tonight, we went out on a night run like, the usual and everything. We split up, with Raph and I on a team, and Leo and Don on a team. Well, we went North, and Leo and Don took more to the South areas. And about thirty minutes into the run, we got a call. Leo and Don ran into some trouble. Foot ninjas, of course. I mean, who else wants to ruin our lives? Wait, that was stupid to say. Everyone does."
He lets out a startling sarcastic laugh.
"Well, we head over there and everything… Leo and Don already had them in battle. So we just joined in. We had them good, they were obviously beginners. We could take them easy. That is, we would've. If I hadn't been so stupid. The guy I was fighting had a chain. As you may know, chains aren't exactly easy to block with chucks. So I had to keep my focus on him, or else he would get in on me. Well, guess what happened? I got distracted."
He has an angry look upon his face. He shakes his head.
"One of them comes in at the side. I could've easy taken both. But nope. I had to be stupid and put all of my attention on the new guy in the battle. So you know what happens? I was lucky, and the chain guy had bad aim… But he clipped my arm. It bled a lot. I took out the ninja I was so focused on before noticing my arm. It hurt. Like, I don't know how Leo managed to keep his calm after taking a knife in the side. I took one in the arm, and couldn't even fight anymore. It hurt way too bad. My bros had to take out the chain guy. And I was crying like a little baby. I hate that. I shouldn't have felt like that, but I did and… And I am so weak!"
He yells that out and his voice slightly breaks in disappointment.
"We head home, and it only takes a few stitches and a pain pill to get over it. I am such a weakling. I shouldn't even have made a big deal out of it. None of my brothers would. It's stupid of me. I should be tougher. But I just can't. And I hate that about me. All of my brothers are so strong… So happy… And I'm not. I am weak. I'm nothing like them. I don't deserve to be here. If that fight was something bigger, then someone could've been hurt or even been killed. I shouldn't have to make my brothers risk that… At least we were lucky. Again. I just don't want things like this to happen again. I mean, I can't risk things like this anymore. It's too much."
He yawns and pulls out the remote.
"The pain meds are finally kicking in, and Don told me they'd make me drowsy. So I guess… Good night?"
The screen goes black.
April 20th, 2008 – 11:23pm
Michelangelo is in his chair, not facing the camera. No tears either. Just silence, for a good ten minutes.
"I can't take it anymore, Lacey… The hate… The hate for myself… It's just too strong. I need to end things before they really do get worse."
His voice is croaky, very quiet. It's barely loud enough to hear. Just over a whisper.
"I feel empty. The only thing that really keeps me going is my brothers… But if all I ever do is mess up… Then what is the point? They'll be safer without me. I know they will. Hell, maybe without me bugging them all the time… Maybe they will be happier. Maybe they'll be better off. All I ever do is bug Raph, disrupt Don, and make Leo lose his focus. They don't need me. Their troubles will get easier if I'm not here. Maybe without me they can be a better team. I… I can't be here anymore, Lacey. I just can't."
He pulls out his remote. He frowns at the camera, a hopeless look on his face.
"Good night, Lacey…"
The screen goes black.
April 21st, 2008 – 11:49pm
The camera turns on, but this time by Michelangelo's own hand. Not the remote. He steps away, and a rope is shown to be in his 'free' hand. A slight beeping sound is heard and Michelangelo keeps his expression of blankness.
"Huh. Your battery is almost out. Oh well. You won't need it anymore."
He stands on the chair and ties his rope somewhere out of view. He doesn't bother getting down from the chair.
"Goodbye, Lacey."
He steps off the chair, and a crack is heard. All that is in view is his legs, knee to toes, hanging in the air. Silence echoes in the room, only his feet swaying back and forth. The beeping stops. The screen goes black.