My Salvation

Hey guys, I watched AFIOS on Wednesday so that is my inspiration for this story. I warn you this does have major character death in it. So you have been told. I hope you enjoy it, if you do check out my other one-shot for Merlin called 'Demons' and my 'Story of Albion' series which are both on my profile. I don't own Merlin, or any of the AFIOS quotes which are included in this. Enjoy…

Merlin knew that Arthur always died young and fighting some foe or another. He could almost laugh at the irony though. This time the foe wasn't a person, it wasn't something that you could physically see and not something that took a sword, or gun to defeat it.

It was the cruellest of his death in Merlin's opinion, because this time Arthur was dying of cancer. Something even Merlin couldn't heal, and the enemy was inside his own body, turning his own cells into weapons.

They had met again when Arthur was sixteen, they had run into each other, literally. Not that it was any different from how they usually met. They had argued Merlin calling Arthur a prat and stupid before he had even looked up at his face. The fight had died the second he had.

Arthur always looks the same, Merlin knew that. The blonde hair and blue eyes never changed, no matter how much time it had been since his last resurrection. This Arthur however did look different, he looked ill, the paler skin and he had a tube running into his nose and was dragging behind him an oxygen tank.

"Merlin," Arthur had whispered in almost disbelief before pulling him into a hug.

Merlin had frozen, not because he didn't want to be hugged by Arthur, but because every other time they had met Arthur hadn't recognised Merlin at all. Merlin had always had to wait until his twenty first birthday before he knew who he really was, that night usually ended in them kissing and sleeping together for the first time.

Arthur had later explained that he had known who Merlin was since he was five, they had no idea why it had changed. Well Merlin thought it was possibly because Arthur wasn't expected to make it to his twenty first birthday this time, but he would never say that out loud, not to Arthur.

They spent a few months just talking and hanging out like friends before Arthur finally told him what was wrong with him, "I'm dying," he whispered as he and Merlin laid on the grass looking up at the stars, "Stage four Thyroid cancer with Metastasis. It spread to my lungs about a year ago. They didn't think I would make it," he continued before Merlin could ask, "But there's a drug that I take called Phalanxifor. It slows down the process but it can't stop it. Nothing can stop it. They think I may last a few more years if I'm lucky."

Merlin had just laid in silence for a long time, not even sure how to respond. What was there to say? It'll be okay, was a lie that both Arthur and he could see. You'll make it, was just unrealistic. So Merlin responded the only way he knew how, "I will be happy to stay with you Arthur for as long as we have."

There were good moments, when they laughed, when they joked around, when Arthur could just be a normal sixteen year old boy, but they never lasted long. Reality was always just around the corner, the shortness of breath, doctor's appointments, the oxygen tank that could never leave Arthur's side. Still somehow Merlin managed to forget most of the time that Arthur was ill.

It was only after Arthur's 17 birthday that it hit Merlin with full force. Arthur was rushed to hospital at 1am in the morning, Arthur's mother had given him a hurried account of what had happened. Arthur had stopped breathing, he's lungs had filled up with fluid and unless they could pump it out he would die. Merlin felt his whole world stop, his Arthur, the one who was so brave and so strong, so amazing and he was losing the fight against his own body. Arthur had worked so hard to make sure no one saw him just as a cancer kid, and now that was all Merlin could think of as he sneaked down the corridor into Arthur's room and sat by his bed. He knew he wasn't supposed to be in there with him, but he had to.

The tubes and monitors did nothing to help with Merlin's growing worries about Arthur. He sat down slowly and took Arthur's hand in his feeling the slight warmth in it, the only comfort around him right now. He tried so hard to hold back his tears as they fell down his face. How could someone so beautiful be so broken inside? Was the only thought that could run through his head as he kissed Arthur lightly on the head, "You have to come back Arthur," Merlin whispered as he leant his forehead against Arthur's, "I can't work without you. We haven't had enough time."

Arthur did survive, he made it through the night and they were able to pump out the fluid from his lungs, but with this news came some of the worse news ever. The tumours were multiplying again. The drug wasn't working anymore, there wasn't anything left they could do. No way, he could be saved, they gave him weeks, a couple of months at most Arthur had informed him in a cold voice. His eyes showing the pain he truly felt inside.

Merlin had just kissed him their first kiss of this lifetime in a moment of such sorrow. The only way Merlin could think of to express the emotions he felt, the hurt, the sadness, the pain but above all the love he felt for Arthur. The love he had always felt for Arthur.

Merlin would have loved to say that the month and a half spent with Arthur before he died that Arthur was always smiling always brave, but anyone would know that was a lie. No one could be happy all the time anyway, add imminent death on top of that and it wasn't fair to expect him to be smiling all day long.

Every time he did smile through made Merlin's heart sing in a way he could never truly understand no matter how long he lived. It is also a lie when people say that death is painless, Merlin himself had never experienced it, but he had watched enough people die to know that it was rare for people to just fall asleep and never wake again. Arthur wasn't one of the lucky ones, he had been gasping for air for a long time before he finally lost consciousness. Merlin had held his hand all the way through it never leaving his side no matter how horrid it was to watch.

He hadn't gone to Arthur's funeral, because as he had come to realise over the years funeral weren't really for the dead, they were for the people left behind to live with themselves.

He had however gone to Arthur's grave and sat down next to it resting his head against the cold marble as he spoke, "I don't know if you can hear me. I'd like to think that they let you listen in Avalon. I just want you to know I'll wait for you, I will always wait for you. No matter how much time it takes before you come back to me again, because although our time together is always far too short. I had learnt over the years that some infinities are just a bit longer than others and you should know I am forever thankful for our little infinity. You have this amazing power to give me forever in a short number of days. So until we meet again, I will wait for you, because you are worth the pain. You are my salvation."

I know it's only short and quite sad, but I just wanted to write something a bit different for once. Please review and let me know what you think, and check out my other Merlin stories on my profile.

Until next time,

Artistic-Blue-Eyes

xxx