A Secret
A Samara story (from the Pictures of Us series) for CastleThemeDay.
Caskett
"Daddy?"
Shaking himself out of his writing haze, Rick finds his daughter waiting at his elbow. She's far more patient than he would be, than he was at her age, and he reaches for her, lifting her over the arm of his chair and settling her in his lap.
"Hey sweetheart, did I make you wait very long?"
Samara shakes her head. "No. Jussa minute."
His lips quirk. That's her newest phrase. Just a minute. Never mind that a minute could mean five seconds or almost an hour, it was her favorite by far.
"Just a minute," he echoes. "That's good. Because I didn't mean to make you wait at all. What's up?"
The little girl squirms, curling deeper into his arms. He catches a bony elbow in the ribs, but he'll live. He has enough padding on him to withstand a scrawny nearly-three year old's uncoordinated movements.
"Mommy's sweepin'."
"She is, huh?" Rick asks, swiping a gentle palm up and down his daughter's back. Glancing into the living room, he spies the curve of his wife's shoulder, half-covered by her favorite blanket. She's definitely asleep.
He'd seen the crash coming; she'd been tired most of the morning, dragging her way through breakfast and her conference call with Ryan and Espo before declaring she'd handle the pile of laundry while he worked. Judging by the basket beside the couch, he figures she'd given up about halfway through the task.
Samara's little head bobs, knocking his chin before she settles her cheek over his heart. Oh, she must have wanted to do something with her mother; she only snuggles like this when she's a little disappointed.
"Were you and Mommy going to play?"
"Ya," she heaves a pitiful – and Martha Rodgers-esque – sigh. He fights the urge to laugh, instead lowering his chin to meet her eyes.
"Can Daddy play with you instead?"
"No."
"Oh it's like that, huh?" he teases, blowing a raspberry on her cheek.
She chortles under his lips, gripping his shirt in her little hands.
"Only Mommy will suffice. No Daddy at all, except for some quality snuggles." He pulls her in tighter, leaning his chair back to achieve the optimal cuddle.
Samara giggles harder. "Ya, Daddy. Snuggles now pwease an' fanks."
Rick laughs against her cheek. His little girl has come so far since they brought her home a few months ago. She's still quiet, only chatty when she's particularly relaxed, but she has the words even if she doesn't want to use them.
He's hopeful the news won't set her back at all, but Kate's been avoiding telling her until they talk to Samara's doctor.
"Snuggles now please and thanks. Daddy can do that." He bear hugs her, whispering a kiss against her temple. "Can I tell you a secret, baby girl? We can't tell Mommy you know, though, okay?"
Samara squeaks. She loves being in on secrets. She's terrible at keeping them but she loves them. "Teww me. Daddy, teww."
Rick grins, lowering his voice for ultimate conspiratorial effect. "Mommy's tired because she has a baby in her tummy. It has to grow a little bit more before we can see it, but your baby brother or sister is making her so sleepy, she just needed a little nap. When she wakes up, she'll be good as new and ready to play with you."
Samara's head pops up, her mouth making a tiny, awed 'o' as she considers his words.
"Whoa."
"Uh huh. So we gotta go easy on her for a little while. Just until the baby's not making her so sleepy. Kay?"
Samara nods. Her piercing eyes so serious against her pale cheeks. "Kay Daddy. S'go easy."
"Atta girl," he praises, puckering for a kiss she's happy to smack on his lips. "So may I play with you until Mommy wakes up?"
"Umm, ya." Samara grins, squirming out of his arms and grabbing his hand on her way to the floor.
She drags him through the living room, stopping for just a moment to kiss the back of Kate's head before heading to the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs.
"We're playing in your room, Samara?"
"Ya Daddy. Up up up staiws, s'go!"
"Up up up stairs, yes. Up we go." Rick lifts her onto one of the higher steps before swinging his leg over the barrier and attempting not to fall when he brings the other one along.
His daughter giggles behind her hand, waiting until he's situated to lead the way to her bedroom.
"So what are we playing?"
He knows the answer already. Every time her face lights up with mischievous glee like this, he knows the answer, but he waits for her to say it before he kneels and allows her to climb on his back.
"Horsey, Daddy!"
Horsey it is.
"Hey Samara, did I ever tell you about the time I got to ride a horse?" he asks almost an hour later. It's a blatant distraction technique, but he's not above it. His hands and knees are starting to feel a little bit raw; a break is necessary.
Samara squeaks, pitching forward to lock eyes with him over the top of his head. Well, he knows what they're doing the next time they go to the Hamptons. He had no idea she loves horses this much; he'll have to tell Kate.
"I haven't told you?" With good reason, but he can clean up the story for her. "Okay, we'll fix that. C'mere, let's just sit on your chair and I'll tell you."
He crawls to the bean bag chair Kate had insisted on buying when they brought Samara home, tugging his daughter from his back and flopping into the center. She squirms, draping her arm across his belly and resting her chin on his chest in preparation for the story.
She's not theirs by blood, but there are times when he can see his wife in her. All too often, Kate gives him the exact same look.
"Well, once upon a time, Daddy went to a party a little like the one we had for Alexis. And when he was at the party, he decided he was going to be a little silly –"
Samara giggles. "So siwwy, Daddy."
"You're right, baby girl. I was so silly." His fingers tickle across her back, tripping across her side as he adds, "But you're so silly, too. You're the silliest Samara I know."
She squeals, squirming away from his hands to hide between his side and the bean bag.
Rick grins, dipping to kiss her nose. "So after Daddy decided to be a little silly, he left the party and started walking down the street. He wanted to find other people to be silly with him, but nobody wanted to play."
The baby claps her hands against her cheeks.
"Uh oh."
It's all he can do not to dissolve into laughter; his kid's adorable.
"Right, baby. Uh oh. But Daddy didn't let that stop him. He kept walking until he saw a nice horsey. Now, Daddy should've asked before he jumped onto the horsey's back, because the horsey belonged to the police, but –"
"Castle, are you seriously telling your daughter this story?"
Jumping, his eyes cut to find his wife standing in Samara's doorway, arms crossed, lips curled in amusement. She looks refreshed from her nap. Samara's head lifts, too, her mouth spreading wide when she spies her mother.
"I, ah, well she wanted to hear about riding a horse, and –"
"And our honeymoon didn't come to mind first?" Kate teases, leaning over to scoop the baby up as soon as she nears. "I'm a little hurt."
"Liar," he retorts, holding out a hand to draw her in. "How was your nap?"
Beckett settles on the floor between his knees, letting his chest catch both her and Samara. "Needed. Sorely needed."
He hums in agreement, dropping his lips to her shoulder.
"I'm sorry I fell asleep on you, baby girl," Kate adds, resting her forehead against Samara's. "Can I play with you and Daddy now?"
Samara lights up. "S'kay Mommy. S'sweepy."
Beckett nods, smoothing the girl's hair off her face. "I was very sleepy, you're right."
"Ya. I go easy 'cause da baby."
Castle winces. Oblivious to the secret she's spilled, Samara casts a proud smile in his direction.
"You'll go easy on me because of the baby?" Kate hums, stroking their daughter's cheek.
"Ya! S'a secwit, kay Mommy?"
"It is a secret. One Daddy spilled," Beckett singsongs. He knows he's off the hook when she leans back and offers her lips to him.
"Sorry," he whispers against her lips.
"You're okay, babe. I know you've been dying to tell someone."
He has, he really has. While this pregnancy surprised them both, it's the furthest thing from unwelcome. He's ready to tell the world, but it's okay that they've started small with Samara.
"And now, instead of finishing your horse story, why don't we play with Samara's farm? Let the toy horses entertain for now."