TITLE: Tell Me Why You Cried
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid
RATING: G
CHARACTERS: Terran Va'lor (healer),T'narr Kresson, Jaythen Talari
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM time-frame. Healer Terran helps Jaythen with the final step before becoming T'narr's apprentice. Terran POV.
DISCLAIMER: The Jedi and the venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. I make no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.
NOTE: Thanks yet AGAIN to Bren for the title challenge. Here's another Beatles song title that she tossed at me, and my story that goes with it.
Physical exams -a daily and sometimes mundane part of my job as Jedi Healer.
Other than brief observance by the Jedi Counsel – usually Yoda - the physical exam is the closing step before an initiate becomes an apprentice. I don't quite have the final say, but my word is influential. Of course, I've never actually denied an apprenticeship based on a physical, but at least two of my colleagues have had to make that type of call. So, although it was rare, there was precedent.
There was no expectation that this next exam would be any different than the long line of previous youngsters that had come and gone from my doctoring care. Jaythen Talari had no physical ailments that I was aware of. A bit small for his age, yes, but relatively normal in all other aspects. Emotionally he was a different story, but Yoda and I had already spoken of that issue. Generally speaking, a boy with his problems would stay an initiate for another year or two to see if he truly would be up to the task of training as a Jedi. Yet, we both agreed, after speaking to his soon to be master, T'narr Kresson, that the best thing for Jaythen was to get him away from his own age group and into a smaller, more intimate atmosphere. In other words, allowing him to bond with a single person – a Master Jedi - and go from there. For this particular eight-year-old, the need for individual attention was essential before he could grow beyond his demons.
Escorted by an apprentice healer, Jaythen wandered into my office. His face filled with an emotion I often didn't see in him. Joy. A day earlier he'd heard his future. And it was not anything he'd been expecting. It was good to see him happy.
"Jaythen, you are looking sprightly today."
"Yes, Master Terran. I start my training as an apprentice with Master T'narr this afternoon."
"He's a good man, Jaythen. You and he will fit well together. I'm glad for you both."
"I don't know anything about him, but Master Yoda said that our pairing is right. And Master Yoda is never wrong, right?"
"Well, it's best not to go there. Never assume in perfection. Even with Yoda. But with things like this, he's got a solid track record. Now, this exam won't take long. Just a few basic things to look at, vitals, blood work and such. I need to get a baseline on you."
I began my exam making small chatter with the would-be padawan. He was eager to talk which was a sign of nerves and anxiousness, but completely normal. This was a different Jaythen than I'd witnessed yesterday. I was with Yoda when the tiny master informed him that he was to be an apprentice and that T'narr would be the one to train him.
I've been around hundreds of students during that moment and the reactions ranged from polite obedience to face-sized smiles that reached from mouth to eyes. I'd never seen such a reaction quite like Jaythen offered though. Almost immediately upon being told, his green eyes watered over and quickly dampened his darkly tanned face. I admit that it caught me off guard.
Today was completely different though, and with his mood so much changed, I asked him about the previous day.
"Jaythen, about yesterday. Can you tell me why you cried when you found out the news of your future?"
His green eyes gently found mine. There was no avoidance of the question. No looking away. No trying to hide what his reaction had been. Jaythen was a boy completely aware of his fragile emotions, and not all that afraid to admit to it - unlike most his age.
He smiled as he said, "I was happy and relieved all at once. I didn't have to be scared anymore about my future or if I would end up in the agri-corps. And…I've felt something from Master T'narr. He's been to watch me a couple times now. He's honest about wanting to train me. It's not pity or him feeling sorry for me. He really wants to train me."
Emotional issues or not, the boy was aware of all around him. He had a keen sense for things, feelings especially. A remarkable trait in one so young and a trait rarely seen at his age. T'narr was exactly as he described. Yoda would be dead on for this one. This pairing was indeed right.
"I spoke to T'narr this morning. He was preparing your bedroom and readying his quarters for another presence. Not a small feat mind you for a man used to living alone. But you are right. He feels no pity for you. He'd berate himself if he did. T'narr told me that he sees great potential in you Jaythen. And I know as certain as I draw breath that this is one man who would never take on an apprentice if he wasn't absolutely certain that this was the best thing for the both of you."
Blowing deep breaths in and out so I could listen to his lungs, Jaythen gave a small, nervous laugh.
"That thing is cold on my chest."
"Icy, I know. I wanted something that matched my cold hands."
His eyes went big as he tried to look innocent.
"Yes, I know that everyone refers to me as Cold Hands Terran. It's no secret. It keeps my patients awake and alert though, doesn't it?"
Another short laugh and the boy settled and continued to answer my first question.
"That's why I cried. Well, not because of your cold hands." Yes, I laughed at the remark. I had to. Even healers have to laugh sometimes. Then Jaythen said, "I cried because being accepted as an apprentice is every initiates dream. When you have…issues…it's almost an impossible thing to wish for, hoping that someone would see beyond those things. I never thought it would happen for me. Not after so many other Jedi observed me and then turned me down. And then Master T'narr came along. I don't even know him and he makes me cry."
There was humor in the last statement. Jaythen accepted his emotional baggage and tried to make the best of it. I smiled warmly at him, taking the wit for what it was. It relaxed him if he could talk about it with someone who wouldn't poke fun. Unlike so many of his age-mates who did find his problems more of a joke than a concern, neither T'narr nor myself would ever make light of or pity him for what he was and the trauma's he'd been through.
I finished the exam and gave him a passing grade.
"All done. I will file my report. You go pack your things and meet me back here in an hour. I'll walk you to Yoda's office, we'll meet T'narr there and you'll walk out a full-fledged Jedi Padawan."
An enormous grin brought a light to his face like nothing else could. And me, well I was so glad for his future that the same size smile quickly brightened my own face.
And the next thing I knew, we were in Yoda's office.
T'narr Kresson and Jaythen Talari made an odd shaped couple with the older man's massive height and broadness and the boy's smallness and slight build. They were similar in skin color though, and each had that space-black hair. Honestly, get a quick glance at them you could probably think they were related. I personally didn't think it farfetched to say that before long, they would be more like family than teacher and student.
Yoda announced them Master and Apprentice. T'narr removed the single white band from Jaythen's short braid - the band that was representative of being an initiate. He replaced it with a single blue band -the symbol for a first-year apprentice. Jaythen bowed to his new teacher and was moved to tears again at T'narr's first greeting. A greeting that T'narr's former master often shared with him – a custom from his mentor's home world. One shared only with loved ones. A hand on either shoulder, he leaned down and forward, tilting his temple towards Jaythen's and touched briefly.
T'narr was accepting Jaythen not only as his apprentice, but as his family.
It was something I'd not seen before and was enough to almost move this old man to tears.
But I maintained my composure and smiled as Jaythen shed enough tears for the both of us.
This time, there was no need for me to ask the reason why he cried.
The End.
March 21, 2011