Harry opened his eyes slowly, squinting as sunlight streamed in through the slits of the window. He didn't know where he was, what day it was, or why his body hurt so much. Groaning slightly, he propped himself up on his elbows, groping for his glasses. Finally, his fingers closed on them, and grimacing, he unfolded them, shoving him up his nose.
He dragged his feet out of bed, stretching as he stumbled towards the dresser. Pulling his rumpled shirt off, he pulled it down around his head, rubbing the stubble on his chin. Even as his senses started to come to him, he couldn't remember what had happened the night before. Or the day before.
Someone moaned behind him.
Freezing, Harry grabbed his wand, turning his head slowly to glance over his shoulder. In the shadows, a figure in the bed propped themselves up, rubbing their forehead. They glanced up and became rigid.
Draco started swearing loudly, pulling the loose blankets and sheets up around his bare pale body, eyes wide. "Potter! What the-what are you doing in here?"
"I could ask you the same thing," Harry said, choking on his words. He tried to back away, but bumped into the dresser behind him. Draco's blush deepened.
"Get out! I'm not wearing anything, get out and close the door you moron!" he shrieked, holding the blankets closer.
Throwing his hands up defensively, Harry raced from the room, slamming the door behind him. The hallway beyond was small, and completely unfamiliar. He hesitated before opening the next door; but there were no more naked surprises through here, only a living room and a kitchenette, light streaming in from one windowed wall.
Dirty dishes lay abandoned in piles by the sink, some with half-eaten food still rotting on them. Other than that, the small room was somewhat clean, if clearly lived in. There was a couch on the wall adjacent the window, and paintings and mirrors hung on the wall.
Harry stepped in, collapsing on the couch. Leaning forward, he glanced at the coffee table. An abandoned wand-Draco's, maybe?-lay askew on one side, nearly fallen off. Harry moved the two dirty glasses, both empty, picking up the top magazine from the small stack beneath. He rubbed his glasses, trying to make sense of the cover.
On it was a blown up photo of himself, laughing, grinning. But he wasn't alone in the picture; his arms were around Malfoy, who seemed to be wearing Harry's glasses. They both wore dress robes, white rose corsages pinned to their shoulders. The picture moved, as pictures were known to do, he and Malfoy leaning in, noses brushing. Malfoy whispered something into the Harry's ear, making him blush furiously in the image. But it was the title that was the most confusing.
"What the bloody-" Draco swore as he came in, rubbing his forehead. "Potter-what day is it?" Harry glanced up at the bleary eyed wizard, eyes narrowed.
"Since when are we married?"
Draco froze for a moment, then in three long strides crossed the room, snatching the magazine from Harry's hands. He flipped to the title article, eyes flickering across as he muttered under his breath. "Twist of the year... Wizarding world's favorite celebrity... dating in secret... massive scandal!? Potter what did you do?"
Harry shot to his feet, glaring. "What did I do? I definitely didn't do anything in there," he snaps.
Draco rubbed his temples, still staring at the magazine. "April issue? But it's May!" He let out a noise of confused rage, throwing the magazine at the wall. It knocked down one of the decorative mirrors, cracking the glass. "If someone doesn't explain what's going on I'm going to get pissed!"
Collapsing back into the couch, Harry closed his eyes. "Shut up and let me think Malfoy. There's got to be an explanation. This can't be real."
There was a loud sound of pots being moved around, and then a word I oughtn't repeat when Draco hit his toe on a stool. "You shut up! I'm going to get some food!"
Harry straightened, shooting a dead pan look in the direction of the kitchen. "You can't be serious. At a time like-wait, what's that?"
Draco dropped the pan on the stove, jolted. "What's what?" he sneered. "Find another magazine? Are we dead, too?"
Rolling his eyes, Harry stood, crossing the room to the apartment door. An envelope and a key were taped to the door. Pulling down both, Harry glanced at the key before tucking it in his pocket.
"Give that here," Draco said, suddenly snatching it out of Harry's hands. "What does it say?"
"I'll tell you when I've opened it," Harry said, reaching to grab the letter back. Draco ignored him, sitting down at the table, popping the seal. Harry walked over, leaning to read over his shoulder.
Draco unfolded the letter carefully, smoothing the creases gracefully. He paused, then began reading aloud. "Misters Malfoy-Potter;
"You are both no doubt confused, and more than a little concerned. I assure you, you must not worry. All will be explained, and I sincerely hope you understand what is written here.
"The past few months or so is no doubt lost to your memories, so I'll do my best to elaborate. Today is June the third; for reasons I do not wish to disclose, I, with the help of some colleagues, cast an Imperio curse over you each. To keep a rather long winding story short, the two of you are now married as you may have learned from the magazines on the coffee table. And you will stay that was for as long as we find necessary." For a moment Draco's voice broke, then he continued.
"Draco; we have both of your parents. Harry; we have Hermione Granger. We will keep them as leverage until our ends our met-images and short notes from each are inclosed. If you tell anyone, especially the Ministry, they will die. Do not attempt to end the marriage. Wishing you well, a secret friend."
There was a moment of silence as Draco pulled out the pictures, handing one to Harry. On each, the mentioned captives were shown, bound and gagged, tied to chairs. It was Harry who broke the silence.
"Well shit."