[disclaimer:none of this belongs to me,,,dont flame guys or else youre a haterrrz (lol) :( rate and comment plzzz]]
It was at the ball that for the first time elizabeth had the privilege of picking out mr darcy from the multitudes of pretentious vampires swirling at glimmering about the dance floor. As he entered the room time seemed to slow to a crawl as the beats of her heart paradoxically quickened with each airy thud of his dreamy bootfalls, each toss of his touseled main of greasy, seductive hair. Even the doorman's hand seemed to linger longer than would be suggestive of mere friendship over MISTER DARCY's broad powerful shoulders, dancing like pale spiders in the throes of toxic asphyxiation. emerging for the shadow of MIRSTER DARCY's radiance,MR BINGLE clad in the most resplendent flamingo feather gown tied witht a sash made of the tail of an otter clicked his ample heels together revealing his suede hip waders garnished around the edges with finger-nail clippings which caught the radiance of the chandelier and sparkled threatenign to drown out the pale-gold glimmer of MISTER DARCY"S pale flesh.
ive never seen so many pretty girls in my life, even prettier than you Darcy" mr bingy said blushing shyly and batting his seven foot eyelashes seductively
A single tear rolled down MISTERDARCYS dehydrated cheek leaving a deep groove in his makeup and splashing to the floor in a puddle of sorrow and chemical bleaching agent.
MRBINGLE was quick to soothe his beleagured friend reasurring him in a sussurating voice "i ardent love you MISTERDARCY" bingle cried unbuttoning MISTERDARCYS waistcoat
"would you do me the honor of accepting my hand MISTER DARCY" Bingle continued his hands feverishly discarding the waistcoat and moving on to the petticoat.
MISTERDARCY looked calmly onto his friend's ostentatiousness and slowly drew a spoon from the inner pocket of his undercoat and surgically removed MISTERBINGYS hand with it. As bingy fell without a sound only a look of limitless happiness on the cosmetic trainwreck that described his features. MISTER DARCY's eyes were deeper than black the sort of tar like pools that would devour your soul. hypnotic and alluring. he reached once more into his tweed jacket and applied some more eyeshadow heightening the contrast of his needle-like orbs with his ivory pearl skin as he luminesced in the candlelight..
Elizabeth hurried over feeling intoxicated by his confidence as he crossed the moldy floorboards with a long-legged manly stride, waistcoat flapping behind him fangs bared and dripping the sweet black blood of his fallen suitor. "insert commentary about vampire novels" she giggled coyly up at him "insert commentary about your face" he muttered back , expulsing blood from his mouth as he did so. "you could not prevail upon me to insert my head anywhere MISTERDARCY" elizabeth retorted the belligerent tension thick in the air between them as she fanned her face furiously oxidizing the flames of love that were rising quickly to her vivacious cheeks.
"I love you so much it makes me vomit in my mouth" MISTERDARCY hissed rapidly swirling his cape upward to obscure his lips. having once again swallowed his heart back to its customary position MISTERDARCY continued, "youre like my own personal brand of heroin" and tried to inject her. "Oh DARCY" she swooned trying to remain aloof "im actually prefer animals" she stammered and several werewolves and the pig pricked up their ears.
"I hunger for you like fat man hungers for hotpockets' he continued tilting her supple pulsating neck toward his fangs. she wanted to go swimming in his eyes...to drown in their depths and float forever in their morbid sadness and be a soulless abomination forver. sighing deeply she slit her tender wrists on his cufflinks and knew no more...