Flawed Marriage
:::
"Are ya ready yet, Alan?" Eric knocked on the bathroom door of Alan's flat. They were getting ready for an undercover case, one that required them to be in disguise. However, the disguise set for Alan wasn't exactly, well… appealing, not for him, anyway.
"Just give me some time, Eric!" Alan shouted from behind the door. "Damn, why couldn't Grell be assigned to this mission?"
"Like I'm goin' ta work with that knob again." Eric shivered. "Besides, she wasnae available, so quit yer whinin'."
"Ugh, how do women dress like this? It's impossible!" The younger reaper grumbled. "Bloody corset…"
"Usually, lasses have help wi' those." Eric explained. "Why don' cha come out here?"
"N-No… I got it…"
"Look, I have ta see ya in the get-up eventually."
"This is humiliating." Alan sighed. "Don't laugh at me, either!"
"Alright, I won't." The blonde man smiled, stepping away from the door as it opened, revealing Alan Humphries in a slightly undone light blue dress. His dark brown locks were covered by a curly, light brown wig with a hat attached to match the dress. He also wore nude stockings and white shoes with two-inch heels. He even wore some simple makeup. Eric looked his junior up and down and wolf-whistled jokingly.
"Bastard." Alan blushed and turned around, showing his untied corset and unbuttoned dress. "Bet you have a lot of experience undoing these instead of tying them, you sleaze."
"You know I do." Eric smirked and grabbed hold of the strings.
"Do you have any shame?" The brunette looked over his shoulder.
"Why should I?" Eric always acted that way in front of his colleagues and didn't give a damn. It made Alan angry, but he just shook his head. "Alright, exhale as much as ya can."
"Is this going to hurt?" Alan asked before doing as Eric said.
"It shouldn't. I don't need ta pull it too tight, since yer already so thin." The tall reaper said. "One, two…" He pulled the strings as Alan pushed himself forward. Then, Eric quickly tied them up and buttoned the dress in the back. "There ya go. Still breathin'?"
"Y-Yes." Alan supposed that wasn't so bad. He turned to his partner again. "What about you? You're not going there with your hair like that, right?"
"Oh, right, I get a wig, too." Eric groaned, reaching into the suitcase for a plain brown wig. "Boring. Humans have no style." He also referred to his boring brown three-piece suit and plain glasses that he used to wear in his trainee days. Alan giggled, finding the getup very boring indeed. It didn't suit his friend at all. After he put on the matching hat, Eric also pulled something else from the case. "One more thing." He opened his palm, revealing two wedding rings, one of which bejeweled.
"This isn't real, is it?" Alan picked up the ring.
"No, at least I hope not." Eric slipped on his ring and watched Alan do the same. "Right, so accordin' to the wonderful Mr. Spears, we gotta keep an eye on this newlywed couple who are scheduled ta die in tomorrow night. Normally, such a thing wouldnae warrant an investigation, but this is special."
"Why is that?" Alan asked. Eric pulled out the paperwork from his jacket.
"Because a suicide is involved. A murder-suicide. And you know what that means, right?"
"Oh, yes, of course." Alan knew all too well. A person who commits suicide must be punished by becoming a grim reaper, working until he/she is forgiven. "So, we keep the soul of the suicide victim and take the other soul to be judged."
"Aye. And the newlyweds are headed to a kinky love hotel for their honeymoon, and we cannae get in unless we look like a married couple, as well." Eric put the papers back in his pocket, then closed and picked up the suitcases, one for each of them.
"I can carry my own things." The shorter man said.
"Ah-ah, a lady doesn't carry her own baggage." Eric smirked. Alan frowned angrily. "Oh, and William put the reservations under my name, so you can still call me Eric. We should give you a girl's name, so uh… Alania, Alyssa, Alana…"
"Alana sounds good." Alan nodded.
"Very well then, Eric and Alana Slingby." Eric let it roll off his tongue. Alan blushed, wondering how that would sound with his real name. The older reaper offered his elbow, albeit awkwardly with the suitcase in hand. "Shall we be off, Mrs. Slingby?" He wrapped a small hand around a large bicep.
"Sure thing, 'darling.'" Alan sarcastically said, silently wishing he could say it for real. Pretending to be married felt awfully cruel for the young reaper, knowing that ladies' man Eric Slingby would never pop the question to him.
:::
The two reapers appeared in the living world a couple of blocks from the so-called love hotel. They walked down the street, saying hello to any who said it first. "Do ya think I should change my accent?" Eric whispered.
"I don't see why. There are plenty of Scotsmen in London." Alan answered. "Can you even do an English accent?"
"Yes of course, like this." Eric said in a perfect British accent. "I spend enough time around ya limeys to pick up a few things."
"I had heard from Mr. Spears that when you first became a reaper, no one could understand you because your accent was too thick." Alan laughed.
"Aye. Though' about changin' my accent completely, but…"
"That wouldn't be you." The brunette smiled sweetly. "I like your accent. You don't have to change it anymore." He didn't realize how flirty that sounded until it was too late. He buried the flush rising to his cheeks and avoided eye contact with his partner.
"That so?" Eric cracked a smile, not missing Alan's embarrassment but kept it to himself. "Then I won't." The two stopped in front of a three-story building with a sign hanging from it that said 'Hotel' painted in pink and red.
"This is it." Alan looked up at the sign. "This isn't an upstanding kind of place, is it?"
"I actually don't know myself." The blonde man shook his head.
"Really? I thought you'd be an expert on such things." Alan scoffed.
"Sorry ta disappoint." Eric retorted. "Let's just go in. And remember, we're newlyweds, too."
"Right." Alan inhaled deeply, getting into character as they walked in, hearing a bell jingle above the door.
"Bonjour! Welcome to Madame Vilain's Haus!" The pretty and busty woman behind the counter said in a French accent. Alan looked around the foyer, surprised at how clean and expensive everything looked. Maybe this wasn't such a sleazy hotel after all, although the woman was dressed rather whorishly with her cleavage hanging out.
"G'morn!" Eric smiled to the woman, putting down his luggage and pulling out the papers from his jacket. "We have reservations under Eric Slingby, madam."
"Ooo, how gorgeous you two are! You just got married?" The lady noticed the rings.
"We sure did." Eric turned his smile to Alan. Alan smiled in turn, wrapping his arms around his 'husband's' arm. "This is my lovely wife, Alana."
"Pleased to meet you." Alan said in a higher-pitched voice.
"Vous aussi!" She said before looking over the papers. "The honeymoon special, I see. Room 205 on the second floor." She snapped her fingers and two girls in French maid outfits seemed to come out of nowhere and take their suitcases for them, heading up the stairs to the second floor.
"What service." Eric said.
"Here is your room key." She handed the key to Eric. "We will respect your privacy as much as possible, but if you need help or information do not hesitate to ask!" She winked at them. "It's funny, there's another beautiful newlywed couple here who arrived an hour ago, and their room is right next to yours. Maybe you all could become friends." She said suggestively.
"Is that right?" The reapers looked at each other and nodded. "We'll keep that in mind. Thank ye!" With that, the pair went up the stairs and breathed a sigh of relief that they passed as a man/woman couple. "Good thing that was easy."
"Let's just get in the room already so I can change." Alan muttered. "The stockings are falling down, anyway."
"You're no' wearing a garter belt?" Eric asked. "Wha' kind of woman are ya?"
"I didn't think I needed one! We only walked two blocks." The shorter man sighed, realizing his feet hurt, too. "I certainly have a new respect for women after this, though. Why must they wear so many clothes?"
"Tell me about it." Eric rolled his eyes.
Must be annoying for you who has to take them off, Alan thought, scowling. They reached the second floor and found their room door. As Eric went to open it, they heard the door next to theirs open, the young couple exiting their room, being strangely quiet. "That's them, the pair scheduled to die." Alan said. "Mr. Benicio Ramirez and his wife Vanessa." The man was tall and built and of Spanish descent with dark skin, hair and eyes, and the woman was lovely and thin with long, brown hair and blue eyes.
"Aye. A murder-suicide. Wonder which one will do the killin'?" Eric asked.
"I think the husband will." The younger reaper replied. "I mean, look at him. He looks cruel, not to mention strong."
"I dunno…" Eric smirked. "Women can be far crueler than men when provoked. And she looks completely torn on the inside. I think it'll be her." As the strange couple walked past them to the stairs, the partners looked at each other and grinned.
"You want to bet on that?" Alan asked.
"Aye, you know it." The taller man said. They made bets like this all the time.
"If I win, you have to do my paperwork for a week." Alan said with confidence.
"And if I win… hm…" Eric wanted to do something different than the usual paperwork bit… something to stir the serious little Alan up some… "You have to come with me to Ron's next party."
"What? What the hell?" Alan asked. "Why that of all things?"
"Cuz you never come to the parties when we ask ya to, that's why!"
"Well, excuse me for not wanting to watch my co-workers get drunk and chat up every pretty girl there! I don't drink, anyway." Alan huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Ya dinnae have ta drink ta have fun, ya div." The Scotsman put a hand on Alan's bare shoulder. "It'll be a blast, I promise."
"Hmph… fine, I accept." The brunette took the key from Eric. "Because I know I'll win."
"Sure, whatever you say." Eric smirked as Alan opened the door to their room and they stepped inside. They gagged in disgust. It was a very clean and large room, but the furniture, wallpaper and art were tacky and gaudy. There were fresh roses in vases around the room and rose petals thrown over the big and fluffy bed. Their suitcases rested in the corner. "Damn crazy French." Eric sighed, shutting the door behind them. "Well, the coast is clear. Let's get out of these costumes."
"No problem." Alan immediately took the wig off, followed by the shoes and stockings. "You know… even though this room is hideous, it's better than what I thought we'd see."
"Oh really? Like what?" Eric knew very well what, but he wanted to hear what innocent little Alan would say. As he suspected, the brunette's face turned red.
"Oh, you know, like lewd paintings and sculptures, or that… sadomasochism stuff."
"An' how would you know about such things, hm?" Eric teased, deftly undoing Alan's dress and corset.
"Unfortunately, one just happens to come across such things in art and literature." Alan moved away from his partner. Why must he always tease me? I'm not as innocent as he thinks. "Hey, is it humid in here to you?"
"Now that ya mention it…" Eric took off his hat and wig, still feeling the humidity. Alan saw the bathroom door open and went to peek inside. The room was as luxurious as the bedroom with a huge tub filled with hot water. Rose petals floated on top of the perfumed, bubbly soap. "Wow." Eric said from behind his co-worker. "Well, might as well no' let it go ta waste. Let's hop in!" The blonde started removing his clothes.
"Excuse me? Both of us?" Alan turned towards Eric, but needed to turn away just as quickly, not wanting to pass out from seeing his broad, lightly tanned and muscled torso for the first time.
"Aye, it's big enough." Eric shamelessly took off his pants and underwear. Alan, though he wasn't looking, could hear it happening and by God willed himself not to get an erection. "C'mon, we're both men, it's alright." He patted the younger reaper on the shoulder again before walking to the tub and stepping in the water, getting used to how hot it was. "Alan please, you really could use a break." He sat down in the tub, the soapy bubbles censoring him.
"We are supposed to be working right now, in case you forgot." Alan said outside the door, refusing to come in.
"Ha! I consider this a paid vacation. We got two days until they kick the bucket, so let's relax while we can." The older man was busy taking out all the rose petals so his friend wouldn't be as uncomfortable if he decided to join him. "The warm water feels really gooooood." He continued.
"Alright, fine. But, close your eyes until I get in." Alan blushed, clutching the dress. He's right. We're both men, so it doesn't matter… to him, anyway.
"Oh, aye." Eric turned his head away and closed his eyes. As soon as the brunette was sure he wasn't looking, he quickly took off the dress and stepped into the tub, groaning when he realized it was very hot. "Careful, I bet ya burn easily." The Scotsman said, hearing the cute groan.
"I can take care of myself, thank you." Alan snapped, slowly lowering himself into the soapy water. While he did so, he looked over Eric's physique more closely, quickly memorizing every part he could see… the long and muscled arms, the Celtic armband tattoo on his upper left arm, the broad shoulders and sexy neck that was more exposed with his head turned, and his ripped torso and surprisingly no chest hair.
"Can I look now?"
"Yes." Alan cleared his throat and took off his glasses, setting them aside while grabbing some shampoo. "Nice tattoo." He simply said.
"Thanks. I was still human when I got it, same with the piercings." The blonde man said, rubbing his hand over the tattoo. "I was quite the ned back then."
"So, nothing's changed?" Alan joked, wetting his hair a bit before putting shampoo in his hands and lathering it up and washing his hair. He needed to distract himself from the fact that he was taking a bath with his secret love. He closed his eyes, not wanting to get shampoo in them.
"Har-har." Eric still smiled.
"How do you wash your hair with the cornrows?"
"I wash around them, every other day. Take the 'rows out once a week an' wash the whole head."
"I see." Alan reached for the bowl, but couldn't find it with his eyes closed.
"Here, I'll get it." The taller reaper reached across and grabbed the bowl, pressing it against Alan's chest.
"Oh, uh, thank you." Alan blushed again, feeling Eric's feet brush against his under the water briefly. He took the bowl and filled it with water, and then poured it over his head to rinse the shampoo. He opened his eyes, catching Eric staring and smiling. "What is it?"
"Nothin'. I just noticed ya get pruned pretty quickly."
"Ah yes." The shorter reaper could use this as an excuse to get the hell out of there. "Well, best get out, then. Would you mind?" He referred to Eric closing his eyes again.
"Aye, actually, I do mind." The Scotsman said. "Ya just got in. Just cuz yer pruned doesnae mean ya have ta get out."
"Look, Eric, you might think this is a vacation, but I need to write a report for this investigation and keep an eye on the couple." Alan found a small towel nearby and rubbed his hair dry. Then, he grabbed his glasses and put them on with authority.
"C'mon Alan, loosen up for once." Eric refused to close his eyes again. Alan glared at him before deciding to use the towel he already had as censorship, putting it up in front of him and standing up too quickly without using his hands for support like he should have. He started to fall. "Whoa, watch out!" Eric reached up and grabbed Alan's shoulders as he fell towards him, the towel dropping into the water between them. Alan looked up, realizing what was going on, realizing how close he was to Eric… so close, their faces only inches apart… "Alan, ye alright?"
"Yeah… yes! Sorry!" He scrambled away from Eric and out of the tub, almost slipping again as he went for the bigger towel hanging on the other side of the room.
"Alright Alan, that's enough!" Eric suddenly shouted, standing up in the tub, not caring that he was naked. Alan heard that so he didn't turn around.
"Wha-What do you mean?" He asked over his shoulder.
"I'm tired of the games, of us beatin' around the bush." The taller man stepped out of the tub. "Ya think I don' see the way ya look at me, Alan?" He asked in a deeper voice.
Alan choked. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. How? How could Eric have known? There's no way, he's just teasing again, that's all. However, the older reaper could see Alan's ears turning bright red in shame. "I-I don't know what you're talking about!" He ran out of the room, closing the bathroom door and keeping it shut with his body.
"Alan!" Eric ran to get a towel too, wrapping it around himself while trying to open the door but couldn't. "Damn it, Alan, lemme out!"
"No, not until you apologize!" The younger reaper shouted back. "You're wrong, and you went too far!"
"I know I'm not wrong, ya git, and ya didn't even let me finish my sentence!" Eric put his hands against the door. "I see the way ya look at me, so don' cha ever notice… the way I look at you?"
Once again, Alan couldn't speak. Did he hear that right? Did he really just say…
"Alan, please let me out." Eric asked softly. Alan complied, stepping away from the door so the blonde could come out. "Alan…" He stepped closer to his partner. "Alan, look at me." He put his big hands on small shoulders. The smaller man hesitantly looked up at him, into searing green-yellow eyes. "There's nothin' ta be ashamed of… well, except fer not noticin' my feelings. I pair up with ya all the time on missions, ask ya out, just blatantly stare atcha… I was starin' atcha in the bath, did ya not see? I love ya, Alan."
"You… love me?" Alan really had no idea. How could he have been so stupid? Now that he thinks about it, Eric has been flirting with him for a while, asking him out, now having to force it on him with the bet they made, and was indeed staring at him in the bath. "But… you talk about women all the time… I didn't think you were, you know…"
"Aye, I've been with women before. Been with men, too. But honestly, hadnae felt like much of a philanderer lately… only been wantin' one person." He cupped Alan's tiny face in his hands. "I want you, Alan. I cannae take it anymore."
"Eric…" Alan felt so overjoyed, criminally so. He didn't think it was ever possible to feel this happy. "I love you too, Eric." The older reaper took those words as permission to kiss him, so sweetly and hotter than the bath. Their bodies ended up flush against each other's and the kiss became deeper, Eric wrapping his arms around Alan's slender back. The younger man thought he would burn and melt from Eric's big and hot hands. Long fingers started fiddling with the towel around his waist. "W-Wait, Eric…" He got scared, pushing Eric away slightly.
"Alan…" Eric took the hint and stepped away. "Too fast?"
"Yes, sorry." The brunette sat down on the bed. "It is kind of sudden."
"First time?" Eric asked.
"No." Alan answered honestly. "I dated someone at the Reaper Academy, of course that was a long time ago."
"Wait, really?" Eric wasn't expecting that answer.
"Yes, although I'm not going to tell you who it was." He looked up at a slack-jawed Eric. "What, you that surprised?"
"Well, a little… shite, now I'm kinda jealous." The older reaper rubbed the back of his head.
"Welcome to my world." Alan said. "I feel that way whenever you brag about your shagging adventures with Ron and everyone."
"Sorry, 'course they'll be no more of that now that we're together." Eric looked shyly at Alan. "We… are together, right?"
"Yes, of course." Alan giggled at Eric's cute expression. The older man nodded, and came up to Alan to kiss him lovingly again. "Just… let's try to go slow. I mean, we are still on a mission here, even though it's a love hotel."
"Alright. Anythin' for you, love." He gave Alan that classic wink that just seemed to make everything better. "Besides, this hotel isnae all that romantic. And I am a little disappointed it has no toys. Oh…" Eric spotted the closet, a place they hadn't looked in yet. "Maybe they're in here."
"Oh God, you think?" Alan watched Eric comically sneaking towards the closet, opening it slightly to look inside. Eric laughed incredulously. "What? What is it?" Alan crawled to the middle of the bed and sat on his knees to get a better look.
"It is all in here." The Scotsman opened the door fully, revealing all the whips and straps and handcuffs, blindfolds and gags, even a gimp suit.
"Holy shit." Alan said. "I have never seen such nonsense."
"Not into stuff like this?" Eric asked.
"Well, I'm not totally against it…" He didn't miss the taller man grin evilly. "I don't like it to that extreme." He pointed to the gimp suit.
"I understand." Eric closed the closet. "There might be stuff hidden elsewhere. Check the wardrobe."
"Aren't you having fun?" Alan got off the bed and headed to the wardrobe, opening its doors. Surely enough, there were more kinky outfits in here: leather getups, a nurse uniform, a police uniform, a French maid uniform… "This place really is crazy." He pulled out the nurse dress and looked at the tag. "This is the dress size I was wearing! How did they know my size just by looking at me?" Each outfit was indeed his size.
"Look what I found in the nightstand." Eric picked up a 15-inch rubber dildo and shook it in his hand. "They know my size, too." He joked.
"Yeah right." Alan scoffed.
"No, yer right…" Eric picked up a 10-inch one, which is still huge. "This is more me."
"Are you serious?" Alan shivered at the possibility.
"Ya didnae see my wang at all?" Eric started taking off his towel. "Here, lemme show ya…"
"NO!" The younger man put his hands over his eyes. "Eric, I told you…"
"Alright, alright." The Scotsman stopped. "Although, we should get dressed in somethin'."
"Oh look!" Alan saw two white bathrobes in the wardrobe. "Finally, something normal to have in a hotel." He gave the bigger one to Eric when he came over. "And they're really soft."
"Aye." Eric put it on and watched his partner do the same. "Let's see what's in this nightstand." He opened the top drawer to find many different oil vials, each with a different scent.
"What's the point of having scented lubricant?" Alan asked, eyeing the strawberry one in particular.
"Dunno." Eric closed that drawer and reached for the bottom one. "What's in this one?" He pulled it open, finding none other than the Bible. The two grim reapers looked at each other and laughed hysterically. "A place like this has a Bible?!"
"That is pretty hilarious." Alan wiped the tear from his eye.
"How dare you!" They suddenly heard from outside their door.
"Shut your mouth! I can do what I want!" That was a male voice with a Spanish accent.
"Benicio and Vanessa?" Alan asked.
"Let's check 'em out." Eric nodded to his partner. They made themselves invisible and appeared in the married couple's room as they entered, slamming the door shut behind them.
"You bastard! I thought you would stop acting that way around other women after we married! You promised me!" Vanessa threw her hat on the ground.
"I didn't promise you anything, bruja!" Benicio shouted back. "You knew what kind of man I was and still married me! It's your own fault! I'm not changing for you, you crazy bitch!"
"You filthy dago!" She ran towards him, prepared to hit him. "I'm going to kill you!" He stopped her, grabbing her arms before throwing her on the bed and quickly getting on top of her.
"I'd like to see you try, perra." He whispered, pulling up her dress unceremoniously. "Now, this is the only way we can get along, si?"
"Get off me! No… mmph!" He gagged her with his tie so no one could hear her screams. Alan stepped forward, wanting to intervene. Eric put a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head. They left the room and appeared back in theirs. Alan was shaken by that. He had seen plenty of horrible shit like that before, but for some reason, this was hitting home, probably because he and Eric were now a couple. However, he was confident that the older reaper would never hurt him physically like that, but Eric was quite a flirt. He wasn't sure if Eric would change so much for him.
"Alan?" Eric noticed Alan's inner torment. "Alan, listen… if you're thinkin' I'm anything like that bastart, you're wrong. When I'm in a relationship, I'm one-hundred percent faithful, understand? And I would never hurt ya."
"I know you wouldn't. You proved that when you backed off earlier." Alan pointed at him. "And you can still be a little flirty, because that's just who you are, just no going overboard. And if you do cheat on me, you'll be feeling my Deathscythe up your ass! Got it?"
"Absolutely. You will have every right to do so." Eric bowed his head slightly and smiled.
"I know we can't intervene on human lives, but I just felt so…"
"I know." Eric nodded, knowing that Alan could be sensitive about certain cases. "They're both pieces o' work, though. And it looks like I'm gonna win!" He tried lightening the mood.
"What makes you think that?" Alan sat on the bed.
"She clearly said she was gonna kill him. If that isnae winnin', I dunno what is!"
"How is she going to kill him if she can't fight back against his strength? Not to mention he's a total pig."
"Guns can beat anyone."
"And where was there a gun?"
"Just a possibility. Maybe a knife?" Eric sighed. "Either way, this is murder-suicide, and he doesn't look like the type to kill himself."
"You have a point there." Alan said. "But I'm still holding out."
"Stubborn." The Scotsman smirked. "But I like that about ye. Hey, I wanna revise my terms on the bet."
"To what?"
"Instead of takin' ya ta Ron's party, I'll take ya out on a nice quiet date wi' just the two of us." He sat next to his new boyfriend.
"Really? Well then, I'll let you change it." Alan smiled. "But I still want you to do my paperwork."
"Oh, c'mon, Alan! That's no fair!" Eric whined, wrapping his arms around the smaller man and squeezing him.
"Okay fine! Then if I win, we'll go where I want to go on the date, and if you win, we'll go where you want. Deal?"
"Deal." Eric let go, climbing to the front of the bed and lie down, beckoning Alan to do the same next to him with his hand.
"Eric…" Alan gave him the stink eye.
"Is cuddlin' against the rules, too?"
"I suppose not. But the report…"
"Can wait till tomorrow." Eric finished. "It's not like we have to keep a diary about these two."
"Very well." Alan gave in, crawling next to his partner but propped up on one elbow so he could look down at his handsome face. "What color were your eyes when you were human?"
"Blue." Eric smiled. "Blue as the bonnie skies of Tiree, my mum used ta say. It's kinda why I wear the blue glasses."
"But you were from Greenock, right?"
"Aye, and you?"
"Green. Dark, emerald green." Alan pushed up his glasses. "I did always wear glasses, though."
"Is that so?" Eric smiled, threading his fingers through Alan's soft brown hair. "It's too bad our eyes have to change when we become reapers."
"Agreed. It's kind of boring when everyone has the same eyes."
"Aye, but…" Eric propped himself up on his elbow too, still keeping his other hand in Alan's hair. "You're still beautiful, Alan."
"Beautiful?" Alan repeated, blushing. "W-Well, you're very handsome… too." Eric snickered at him.
"Thank ye." The Scotsman kissed Alan's forehead and cheek, then took off both their glasses and kissed on the lips, the act breathtaking and wonderful. "Let's just go ta sleep fer now, so we can wake up on time ta write the reports, aye?"
"Alright." Alan snuggled up against his new lover. "Good night, Eric. I love you."
"G'night, my little Alan." Eric kissed him once more on the head before getting comfy next to his mate as well. "I love ya, too."
:::
The next morning, the two reapers wrote their reports and headed downstairs for the complimentary breakfast (in disguise, of course). They saw the doomed married couple already sitting at a table. They decided to sit a few tables away, close enough to observe them, but not close enough to engage in polite conversation.
"He is smart." Alan said under his breath, moving the wig's hair from his face. He came with two different wigs, an up-do one with a hat and a loose one. He was also wearing an unrevealing nightgown.
"What do ya mean?" Eric wore his wig and a white buttoned shirt and brown pants.
"He didn't leave any visible bruises on her." Alan sat down while Eric pushed his chair in for him like a husband would do for a wife. "No one would know what he did last night unless she told someone."
"She looks exhausted." Eric noticed, sitting down across from his partner. Benicio looked pretty good though, as he flirted with the sexily-dressed waitress. Vanessa only smiled politely, hoping no one would see the bags under her eyes. However, once in a while, Eric would see a flash of contempt in her eyes, a look that seemed deadly. "Don't worry, Alan, you'll like the place I picked for our date."
"Shut it." The shorter reaper smirked. The waitress came up to them and took their orders: bacon and eggs for Eric and a Belgian waffle with fruit for Alan. "So, what place did you pick? Somewhere I know?"
"I doubt it. It's a dance club/restaurant in London."
"A dance club? What kind of dancing?"
"Latin dancing!" Eric wiggled his hips in his chair. "I wonder if our friend over there knows any dance steps."
"Latin?!" Alan whisper-shouted. "I don't know how to dance like that!"
"Dinnae worry. I won' make ya do anything ya don' want. 'Course, I am hopin' ya give it a try."
"You can Latin dance?" Alan blushed imagining his lover dancing with a rose in his mouth.
"Ya better believe it." Eric grinned. "Food there's good too, nothin' fancy. Where would ye have us go?"
"Just my favorite Italian restaurant in Westminster." Alan smiled. "Best pasta ever."
"Hm, sounds good. We can still go there, after we go to the club, o' course."
"You really think you'll win, huh?" Alan crossed his arms.
"I feel bad that ya still think ya could." The older reaper shook his head as their food arrived. "Thanks." He said to the waitress.
"He might surprise us." Alan looked over at Benicio. "Maybe he realizes his mistake and kills himself before the police come, or at the very least, kills himself by accident."
"All we can do is wait till tonight." Eric dug into his food and Alan did the same. "Mmm, this is actually good."
"Same here." The younger reaper agreed. They ate in silence for a while until they heard a familiar voice greet them.
"Bonjour, my gorgeous pair!" The woman from the front desk yesterday came up to them. She must be the owner of the hotel, making sure everyone is comfortable and happy. "How has everything been, so far?"
"It's been wonderful, thank ye." Eric smiled to her. "This certainly is a place where magic happens. Right, my love?" He winked at Alan, and he blushed in turn.
"Oh yes…" Alan said in his higher-pitched voice. "We've never gotten along better."
"Oh, that is good to hear! Trying new things are the fruits of life, no?" She smiled at them.
"Indeed." Eric kept on staring at Alan. Alan played up the part, giggling like a girl and putting his hands to his cheeks, however the blush across his face was very real.
"Merci, my darlings. Keep feeling the love!" The woman left their table and headed for Benicio and Vanessa's. Eric mimicked Alan's girly laugh as soon as she left.
"Be quiet, you." Alan lightly kicked Eric under the table. "Let's watch this." They observed as the woman spoke to the couple, Vanessa only falsely smiling the whole time. Other than seeing anger in her eyes, Alan saw loneliness and despair, as Benicio shamelessly flirted with the woman, even commenting her on her breast size. The brunette sighed. It seemed like he was going to lose after all.
:::
That night, the reapers changed into their work clothes, mere minutes away from the deaths of the tragic pair. "Shall we go?" Eric rested his Deathscythe on his shoulder like he usually did.
"Yes." Alan simply said, his Deathscythe in its usual underarm position, as well. They reappeared in the couple's room, seeing that they were both naked, probably spending the whole day having sex. From the looks of Vanessa's tear marks, it wasn't enjoyable sex for her. She stood by the wardrobe, her knees wobbly and semen running down her legs. Benicio was splayed out on the bed proudly, smoking a cigar.
"Amazing you can even stand after all that." Benicio smirked. "Hurry and take a bath so we can go again."
"Of course, my love." She said, only instead of going to the bathroom, she bent down to reach into her suitcase, fishing around until she found what she was looking for, smiling like a lunatic. She pulled out a handgun and quickly pointed it at her husband.
"Qué carajo?!" He yelled, scrambling to the front of the bed in fear. "Where did you get that?!"
"This is it, my love." Vanessa came to the foot of the bed, cocking the gun. "We're going to hell together! You'll be mine for an eternity! Doesn't that sound beautiful?"
"What the fuck is wrong with you? Avé Maria, put the gun down! I swear I won't cheat on you again!"
"Too late for that! See you in hell, mi amor! Te amo, te amo!" Alan put his hands over his ears as she pulled the trigger, shooting him twice in the chest. Tears began running down her face again, as she turned the gun on herself. "Te amo." She said one last time before blowing her brains out. Alan had never watched someone commit suicide before, other than his own, of course. He honestly didn't know what to feel.
"Alright Alan, you're goin' ta learn how ta take care of a soul that's committed suicide. Ready?" Eric seemed unbothered by the whole thing, as usual. Alan wished he could be as stoic as he was.
"Yes." He twirled out his scythe.
"First, ya reap the soul like normal." Eric began to reap Benicio's soul, opening the Cinematic Record and reviewing it. Alan began doing the same for Vanessa, observing her life. Turns out, she has always been mentally ill, yet hid it very well until now. "Then, instead of writin' 'none' in the remarks section, ya write 'to be recruited'."
"Got it." Alan took out his notebook and wrote her info down. They heard knocking and frantic shouting outside the room door. "Better get going."
"Aye." The reapers vanished, leaving no trace of their presence.
:::
"How're ya doin', Alan?" Eric asked as they walked down the halls of the dispatch society together.
"I'm fine." Alan half-lied. "Looks like I lost after all."
"I like ta think we both won." The older man nudged his lover. "We got each other now, right?"
"Right." Alan smiled.
"Aye. Now, continue down this hallway to the door at the end and you'll meet Edgar. Ya hand over the woman's soul to him. I'll take care of this one."
"Alright. See you later." Alan started walking, but Eric's big hand grabbed his shoulder.
"I'll meet ya Saturday at your place. Dress casual and get your dancin' shoes ready!" He whispered in Alan's ear.
"No flirting at work!" Alan shook away from him, keeping his blush down. "Very well, I'll meet you Saturday." He smiled. He was actually glad he lost; this could be fun after all.
:::
"Excuse me?" Alan peeked his head into the door at the end of the hall. The room was quite dark sans a few spotlights in the middle. "Mr. Edgar?"
"Yes, come in." He heard a voice say. He went in and held up his Deathscythe.
"I have a new soul for you, sir." Alan saw a middle-aged man with a beard and a lab coat come out of the darkness.
"Ah, Alan Humphries. I haven't seen you since I gave you your rebirth." The man smiled. "I'm Edgar Goldman. You probably don't remember me."
"I'm afraid not." Alan said. "The first thing I remember is waking up in our hospital with no memories of my past life." Alan didn't remember anything until decades later, however that was common amongst grim reapers.
"Yes, that's what they all say. But I'm the one who refurbishes the souls and gives them new bodies. It's much easier than it sounds, though. Now please, hand over your scythe and let me do the rest." Edgar held out his hands. Alan gave him his Deathscythe. Edgar held it like a mother would hold a child, observing the soul inside. "Vanessa Ramirez. Such a poor, troubled woman indeed." He held up the scythe and the soul came out, swirling around before taking the shape of her human self. Edgar handed Alan his scythe back and took out his own, which looked like a magic wand. He wielded it about some, as the soul became a solid body; a strong reaper's body. She slowly floated to the spotlighted floor. Her eyes opened to reveal the yellowish-green irises, marking her new identity. However, she was still unconscious as she did that. She looked beautiful again, possibly more so than before.
"Amazing." The young reaper kind of wished he had this job, bringing souls new lives instead of ripping them away from human bodies. It looked like Edgar was the only reaper who could do this job, however.
"She'll wake up in a few hours." Edgar said. "Thanks for bringing her here; she'll make a fine reaper."
"Indeed." Alan said, bowing. "It was nice meeting you Edgar, officially, that is."
"You too, Alan. Take care!" Edgar waved as Alan left the room. He thought about Vanessa as he strolled down the empty hall.
"I do hope that my love for Eric won't make me do anything stupid, and vice versa." He said to himself.
:::
A/N: If you want to read the bonus chapter, please go to my AO3 page, username fieryhotaru. Thanks for reading, everyone!
Translations:
-anything ending in 'nae' is a contraction
-limey: slang for British person
-vilain: no, I didn't spell villain wrong, it means 'naughty' in French. Most likely were we get the word villain!
-vous aussi: French for 'you too'
-div: Scottish slang for 'idiot'
-ned: Scottish for 'delinquent'
-git: word for 'idiot'
-bruja: Spanish for 'witch'
-dago: derogatory term for a darker-skinned person, usually Spanish
-perra: Spanish for 'female dog', aka a bitch
-bonnie: Scottish for 'beautiful'
-Tiree: the sunniest place in Scotland, an island off the west coast
-Greenock: a fishing town on the mainland of Scotland west of Glasgow and south of Loch Lomond.
- merci: 'thank you' in French
- Qué carajo: 'What the fuck' in Spanish
- mi amor: 'my love' in Spanish
- te amo: 'I love you' in Spanish