AN: I do not own Steven Universe. I also have no plans to expand this idea at the moment. But if anyone else wants to build off of this, go ahead.
Somewhere in the United States, on an alternative Earth, there is a house on the beach, in a small town known as Beach City (yes, the locals all agree the name is horrible, but it's always been Beach City).
The house itself, while mostly nothing special, does have four particular features that make it rather unique by the standards of most humans.
First, it is the only house directly on the beach, which is rather strange for a oceanfront town.
Second, there is no back wall to the house; it rests directly against the cliff, and also has a door hewn into the rock itself. Where this door leads, nobody save the inhabitants knows.
Third, the house is situated right in the hands of a large female six-armed statue (which has had several of its arms fall off).
Fourth, there is a large, flat, white, circular pad in the middle of the floor, which is doing nothing at the moment. Much to the annoyance of one Steven Universe, who was at the moment, alone in the house.
"Come on..." Steven muttered, glaring at the Warp Pad intently. "When are they gonna be here?"
Still nothing happened.
"Where are you guys?" Steven moaned, draping himself off his bed. "You said you would be -"
He was cut off mid-sentence by the sound of the Warp Pad springing to life.
"Guys!" He said, springing up off the bed and running towards the Warp Pad, grinning as the Crystal Gems – Amethyst, Garnet, and Pearl - returned, before stopping. "Where is she?"
"Hey, great to see you too, man!" Amethyst said, walking over to the half-gem and placing her arm around his shoulders, ignoring what he said. "It was sooo boring waiting over there for her!"
"She should be here soon, Steven, don't worry." Garnet added, walking over to the kitchen. "She was just behind us, but she had to scale down her form before she could come in."
"And Steven, you know how hard it is for her to come here at all." Pearl said, walking up to her adoptive son. "Her job on Homeworld is extremely demanding; there's meetings, public speeches and appearances, talks with diplomats from other worlds-"
"Ugh! Pearl, we know all that stuff already!" Amethyst groaned, looking at the taller Gem. "Do you have to tell us again, seriously?"
"Well, Steven asked, so I answered!" Pearl countered. "And with how much you don't pay attention, you could-"
Sadly for Pearl, the beginning to a rather good argument was cut off by the Warp Pad activating again.
"She's here!" Steven cheered, rushing around Pearl to run for the Warp Pad as a shape appeared on it, roughly the same height as Garnet.
Before the new arrival could even open her mouth, she was tackled by Steven. "Aunt Blue!"
Shaking her head at the child attached to her leg, Blue Diamond smiled. "Hello, Steven. How are you doing?"
Later
"...and I finally managed to summon mom's shield!" Steven finished, beaming like the sun.
"Excellent!" Blue Diamond said quickly. "That may benefit you in the future..." she muttered as she thought of the many enemies her now-deceased sister had made, both before and after leaving the Authority behind.
"So, not much has changed back on Homeworld?" Pearl asked.
Blue Diamond sighed. "I'm afraid so. Bureaucrats, politics, ambassadors... I can see why Pink decided to retire." She shook her head.
"Uuugh. Boriiing." Amethyst yawned, before perking up. "Hey Steven, let's go get some fry bits!"
"Yeah!" Steven cheered, before running out the door with the purple Gem.
Garnet, Pearl, and Blue Diamond watched as they ran out.
Blue Diamond sighed, before looking at Pearl again. "And Pearl, White still wants to -"
"I'm sorry." Pearl sighed. "But the orders from the psychiatrist said to stay away from anything that might cause a relapse. And White Diamond was the cause. You know that..."
"I'm aware." Blue sighed. "She's still trying to apologize for what happened."
"I know that, and I still am not going to leave Earth." Pearl said firmly.
"I am aware. So is she. She just wants you to know." Blue Diamond said.
"Also because Pearl was the best assistant she ever had?" Garnet stated.
"That factored into it." Blue Diamond admitted. "She's doing fine without her, though."
"And you are as well?" Garnet asked.
"I'm doing fine too. I've been dealing with bureaucrats for millenia, Garnet." Blue Diamond shook her head. "You still haven't changed your mind?" She added, looking at the dual gem.
"...Homeworld politicians still haven't improved in their attitude towards fusions, ma'am. Especially fusions between a noble and a grunt." Garnet said, her head tilting down a bit. "And I need to watch Steven. He's still growing up."
"How has he been doing?" Blue Diamond asked. "For his personal life, I mean, not his powers and how you three have been treating him. Has he made any more friends? Pink - "
"Rose." Pearl interjected.
"-Rose, was on speaking terms with half of the military."
"I know." Garnet smirked. "I distinctly remember the complaints when she announced she was retiring."
"What complaints? You left two days before she announced anything!" Pearl snapped.
"Future Vision. I saw the complaints and left before they started."
Both Pearl and Blue Diamond felt a small twinge of envy at that moment for the foreseeing fusion.
Outside
"Hi, Mr Fryman!" Steven yelled, jogging up to the Frybo shop.
"Oh, hey Steven." Peedee said, walking up to the window. "What'll it be? Oh, uh hey... Amethyst, right?" He added, noticing the other teenager on the boardwalk.
"Yeah! And... give us one of everything!" Steven said.
"Okay, but, that's gonna take a while. We usually don't get big orders like this..." Peedee said, before walking into the back. "Hey, dad!"
"So what do you think they're talking about back there now?" Steven asked, turning to Amethyst.
"Meh. If I know Blue, she's probably talking about politics and stuff if Pearl and Garnet asked her, or how we're doing, if she asked them. Homeworld things were always boring to me." Amethyst shrugged.
"Blue? Who's Blue?" Peedee asked, returning to the window, mentally running through the women that Steven lived with. None of them were named blue or looked very blue...
"Oh, Blue's his aunt." Amethyst said, visibly not caring that much. "She's visiting."
"Oh. Uh, well, I hope you have a good day with her!" Peedee said quickly. He had no intentions of getting involved in Steven's uber-strange life.
Unfortunate, as Steven and Amethyst left the building a few minutes later with their many fries, his brother did.
"Peedee?! What did Steven say just now?!" Ronaldo yelled, charging up to his brother from the fryer, having been too occupied there to interview/interrogate Steven and Amethyst.
"Um, his aunt Blue was visiting?" Peedee said.
"No, I mean that bit about his -" Ronaldo stopped midsentence. "Yeah, that part! Did he say anything else?!"
"Nope. Actually... something about a Homeworld or something?" Peedee thought.
"Homeworld?!" Ronaldo's eyes went wide. "ALIENS! I should have known! We're going to be invaded! I must stop them! TO THE LIGHTHOUSE!" He roared, running out the door of the fry shop.
Quietly, Peedee watched him begin to run up the side of the hill. Then, he walked over to the shop's phone and began dialing.
"Hello? Er... Garnet, okay. Thank you... Yeah, this is Peedee Fryman. I think my brother is going to invade your house soon to stop an alien invasion. Oh, sure. Just don't break anything of his. Like his bones... Okay, thanks."
Placing down the phone, Peedee returned to the register.
Gem Temple
"And this human thinks we are planning an... invasion?" Blue Diamond asked, sounding like she wasn't sure whether to laugh or bury her face in her palm.
"Yes." Garnet said bluntly.
"He's rather unstable. He makes up these massive conspiracies to convince himself he's important." Pearl said. "Even most humans don't go that far in paranoia, as I understand. Except for some politicians."
"There's one everywhere." Blue Diamond sighed. "But it's only paranoia if they're not really out to get you. We're not out to get him, but still."
Just as she finished, the door burst open. "Hey guys! We got fries!" Steven yelled, running into the room.
"Which I ate a bunch of." Amethyst added, patting her stomach.
"Amethyst, that's rude!" Pearl said.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." She shrugged. "Hey, are we doing anything later? Like, a mission with Blue over there? She's gotta be bored coped up in an office all the time."
"Well, we do have a mission for later. It's rather simple, actually, if time-consuming." Garnet stated.
"What is it?"
"We need to go deal with the Slinker for good. It's been around long enough." Garnet said. "With all of us here, it will be simple enough to handle."
"Why do we have to go after that thing again? It barely ever bothers anyone these days!" Amethyst groaned.
"Because half the time it's lost in your room!" Pearl snapped. "How you navigate that mess is beyond me!"
"Hey, I have a system!" Amethyst shouted.
"Which is incomprehensible to the minds of anyone else!" Pearl screeched, getting into a staring contest with Amethyst.
Before the argument could escalate, Garnet walked over to the two other gems and yanked them apart. "Enough! Let's just do this. The Slinker has been a menace for long enough."
Not wanting to annoy their teammate, Pearl and Amethyst both nodded quickly, while Steven and Blue Diamond smiled in the background.
"Garnet is awesome..." Steven said, eyes sparkling.
"She is "awesome" indeed." Blue Diamond smiled, getting up from her seat on the couch. You seem to be doing well for yourself, Sapphire...
Walking to the back of the room, Garnet's palms flashed, the two gems signaling the door to open.
Beckoning to the other three gems and the half-gem to follow her, she entered her room in the temple, summoning her gauntlets.
If nothing else, she reflected, her former boss would likely be happy to actually get something done in the field for once.
Later
"That was... invigorating." Blue Diamond said, as the five walked back towards the entrance, looking quite happy. "I feel much better now."
Considering she was yelling "Die, bureaucracy! DIE!" when she found the Slinker, i'd imagine she is. Pearl thought. But not out loud.
"So stuff is really bad on Homeworld?" Steven asked, curious.
"Things are fine!" Pearl snapped defensively. "Homeworld is our crown! It's just, well-"
"The politics and such are infamous even among gems, Steven." Garnet stated bluntly. "The Diamonds are the only real constants there in the political scene. Everyone else usually just leaves after a few centuries or millenia."
"Or has a breakdown due to all the stress and has to be ordered to leave..." Amethyst muttered to herself.
"What was that?" Pearl asked, turning around.
"Nothing." Amethyst said bluntly.
"But it was clearly something, you were speaking-" Pearl began.
"It's fine, Pearl." Garnet said, quickly cutting into the conversation as the group walked back into the Burning Room. Walking across to the other side, she dismissed her gauntlets with a thought, before placing her hands up and opening the door.
"Ah... Time to sleep." Amethyst said, yawning.
"AHA!"
Blinking, the gems and Steven all gazed blankly at Ronaldo as he jumped out from behind the couch, holding...
"Hey... Ronaldo! Yeah, Ronaldo! Cool sword." Amethyst said, walking up to examine the replica blade he was holding.
"Your flattery does not fool me, space aliens! Depart our world at once!" Ronaldo yelled. "I have posted my findings about your leader Blue coming to this world to prepare to conquer us, onto the Internet! The government shall surely arrive soon to defeat your invasion!"
Pearl blinked. "We were planning an invasion?" She asked, turning to Blue Diamond and Garnet.
"No. What would be the point?" Blue Diamond replied. There's nothing here that we couldn't get elsewhere. Except privacy. Which invading would defeat the whole purpose of anyways.
"Oh no! They have already infiltrated the government. Listeners, are you getting this?!" Ronaldo yelled, turning around to the porch, which was currently home to his video camera.
"Okay, as hi-larious as this is, can you leave? We wanted some time to relax and all." Amethyst said, effortlessly picking up Ronaldo and depositing him outside the door.
"Aha! My attempts to thwart them directly have failed!" Ronaldo said into his video camera from the porch. "But fear not, brave viewers! I will release this video I have taken onto the Internet, so that all may know –
Ronaldo was interrupted mid-speech by Blue Diamond reaching out and grabbing the camera, before slamming the door.
"HEY! Give that back!" Ronaldo yelled, beginning to pound on the door.
"Okay, here." Amethyst said, handing him back the camera.
"Ah, thank you! Listeners, we shall have to spare the purple one!" Ronaldo said, before noticing a major problem with the camera.
Namely, it wasn't turned on.
"NOOOOOO! MY LISTENERS, I HAVE FAILED YOU!"
Inside
"When you said that he was a conspiracy theorist, I think I was expecting something more... logical." Blue Diamond deadpanned inside.
"Hey! Ronaldo's a great guy!" Steven exclaimed. "He lets me go to his movie nights in the old lighthouse with him, Lars, and Sadie!"
"Old human movies. So primitive even they consider them very low-quality." Pearl said, facing the Diamond.
"What's wrong with old movies?!" Amethyst snapped, looking at Pearl with an offended look on her face.
Garnet, Steven, and Blue Diamond all wisely stayed quiet.
"They're horribly directed, the acting is typically very bad, and the effects are terrible!" Pearl replied. "Why humans don't watch more plays still amazes me..." she muttered to herself, closing her eyes and shaking her head.
"BORING! You wouldn't know something interesting if it bit you in the leg!" Amethyst burst, before she began to smile. Hmmm...
"You wouldn't know culture if it was served to you on – OWW!" Pearl screamed, due to Amethyst suddenly turning into a large tiger and gnawing down on her leg. "AMETHYST! GET OFF!" She shrieked, summoning her spear and starting to smack the other gem with the blunt end.
Which resulted in Amethyst "entangling" herself around Pearl's legs. Which led to Pearl tripping. Which caused her to elbow Amethyst in the eye. "Yeah! Brawl!" She grinned, tackling Pearl.
Quietly, Blue Diamond, Garnet, and Steven all watched the two gems fighting from the couch, weapons now replaced by wrestling.
"...Who needs TV when you have this?" Garnet smirked.
"I shall only ask you once more, space aliens! Begone!" Ronaldo yelled, slamming the door open, his sword in front of him in a very poor stance.
Until Amethyst and Pearl's brawl took one of his legs out from under him and made him lose his balance.
"Whoa-whoa-WHOA!" Ronaldo yelled, starting to topple forwards, his sword still held in front of him.
Which was why, unfortunately, it went cleanly through both Pearl and Amethyst's chests.
The fight stopped entirely. Everyone in the room stopped entirely. For several seconds, they just stared at the sword now impaling Pearl and Amethyst.
"...Wow. Awkward." Amethyst eventually said.
Right before she and Pearl went up in clouds of smoke, their intact gems falling to the floor.
"Pearl! Amethyst!" Steven cried, running over to the two falling gems, picking them up from the ground.
"Ah. I, uh, have defeated two of the aliens!" Ronaldo cheered, turning around to his camera. "Next, I shall vanquish the remaining two and rescue Steven from their clutches!"
Frowning, Blue Diamond walked to the human teenager, glaring at Ronaldo. "You. Out."
"Your threats do not scare me, alien!" Ronaldo yelled defiantly, holding his sword up in a stance that would have sent Pearl into a rage at how bad it was.
Blue Diamond's response was yank Ronaldo's sword out of his hands, ignoring the protest from him.
Then, to snap Ronaldo's sword in half.
Then to snap the halves in half.
Then to snap the quarters in half.
Before throwing the remains at the teenager's feet.
"Does that scare you?" Blue Diamond somehow gave a glare despite her eyes being obscured by her cloak.
Ronaldo was already gone by the time she finished the sentence, his camera and the remains of his blade left behind.
Frowning, Garnet picked up the camera. "We should probably get rid of this."
"Isn't that Ronaldo's, Garnet?" Steven asked. "We should give it back to him."
Garnet sighed. "Steven, we gems haven't made our existence public to Earth at the moment. Most of Earth's governments have individuals who know about us, but we requested that our existence be kept a secret."
"Why?" Steven asked, curious.
"Typically, things like this... well, our people are spacefaring, but we're not the only species with that claim." Blue Diamond said. "Interfering directly in the affairs of nonspacefaring races is heavily frowned on, and has all sorts of rules against it. And we aren't biological in nature, so we don't really have much to offer Earth in terms of agriculture or disease cures. And distributing advanced technology en masse would create hundreds of problems, since it would take years just to explain how most of it works and for them to reverse engineer it."
"And this has visual proof of our presence, due to Amethyst and Pearl poofing..." Garnet said, encasing the camera in a bubble and sending it away. "Individuals who know about us, we can handle. They can be talked down. We'd rather not deal with the entire planet just yet."
"So, now we wait..." Garnet said, returning her gaze to the still-dormant Pearl and Amethyst.
Quietly, everyone went to sit down.
"Blue?" Steven asked, turning around to his "aunt."
"Yes?" Blue Diamond said, turning around.
"If you're in charge on Homeworld of the cultural and worker stuff, who's in charge while you're gone?"
Gem Homeworld
In Blue Diamond's offices, several gems walked around, talking between themselves as they carried out their jobs, occaisonally glancing at the door that led to their Diamond's office/"lair".
Many of them wondering how the current placeholder for said Diamond was handling her temporary job.
Meanwhile, inside the office, Lapis Lazuli fumed. How exactly did I get talked into this again? She thought, looking over the document in front of her on the datapad, trying to think of a way to get the possible decree in front of her stalled long enough that her boss could deal with it instead of her.
No ideas came to mind.
"Ma'am?"
Quietly looking up, the blue-colored gem felt a small pang of despair as a blue-colored Pearl walked through the door, her right arm carrying something which she recognized immediately.
Namely, a communicator.
"Yellow Diamond wishes to speak with you."
Fighting down a groan of dismay, Lapis patted the desk in front of her, placing the datapad she had been pondering to the side. The idea of going to the windowsill and bringing her wings out was becoming more and more attractive even faster than she had thought it would.
As the Pearl handed her the communicator, before walking back through the doors to her personal desk, Lapis had one main thought on her mind as she twisted the sides of the object.
Blue Diamond, wherever you are, I hope that you are having a wonderful vacation, and that you return very quickly...
AN: After reading on the Pink Diamond theory a while back, it got me thinking "If the Gems were more peaceful, and Rose was Pink Diamond... how would the other Diamonds treat Steven?"
This story was born from there. The Crystal Gems still exist here, in a way; they're the Earth faction of Gems, but since the Gems are nicer here, Earth is sort of viewed as a relaxation zone/resort – decent food, wildlife, the locals can be friendly, and no shapeshifting/minimal shapeshifting is needed to blend in.
It's a little lacking in some areas, I admit (such as Blue Diamond's characterization, Homeworld, etc), but i'm still sort of pleased with it.
If you have questions, PM or review.