Finding the Nerve
by Tyloric

Beta read by the lovely youroctober.
This story was inspired by the story Dinner by Ru-salki99. The idea was used with permission.

Casey stood there, staring at the window, off to the side a bit so anyone looking out of it couldn't see him unless they angled themselves just right.

He felt a little out of place, to be honest. He wasn't usually one to hesitate. He was a decisive man, a man of action, a man who knew what he wanted Which, in this particular situation, wasn't completely untrue. He had made up his mind and he did know what he wanted.

It was the action part that he was having a bit of trouble with.

He stepped forward to the window again, raising his hand to knock, then let it fall to his side as he back-peddled into the shadows and audibly groaned. He pressed his back firmly against the wall, gazing around him, making sure no one was watching him as he attempted to talk himself out of making a complete and utter fool of himself.

There were rules against this sort of thing. Rules that were there for a reason. One of the main ones being don't grow attached to your asset. He'd failed that, and he knew it. But he needed to not make things worse for himself.

Then again…

'No! NO! Snap out of it, John. Just turn around and walk home,' he internally yelled at himself.

Casey walked back over to the window, quickly raising his hand and tapping loudly on the glass, before he could think anything else. He didn't wait for a response, just opened it up, slid in, and took a deep (yet quick) breath before turning around.

Chuck was sitting on his bed with a headset clamped to his skull, a video game controller locked tightly in his hands. He was still dressed in his work clothes. He was staring at Casey with his eyebrows raised, clearly not expecting to see the older man climbing through his window at eight o'clock at night.

"Casey?" he asked hesitantly.

"Chuck." He nodded politely. He was screwing up already and he hadn't even said much ofanything yet.

"What, uh…" Chuck seemed to be at as much of a loss for words as he was. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine."

"No missions?"

"Not right now." Casey shook his head.

"World doesn't need saving?"

"I don't think so."

Chuck set the controller down on the bed, and then pulled off his headset, which caused some of his hair to fall down into his face. Casey had to fight to keep self-control, in order to stop himself from ravishing Chuck where he stood.

Chuck turned back around, meeting Casey's gaze, though didn't make to move from the bed.

"You gonna tell me why you're here?" he asked curiously.

I really, really shouldn't. "I'm working on it," he managed choke out.

The nerd raised an eyebrow. "It's nothing bad, is it?"

It's pretty damn horrible and it could end my career if anyone finds out. "That really depends on who you're asking."

A smile threatened to invade Chuck's features, though he fought it back. "Pretty sure I'm asking you."

Casey shifted uncomfortably. "Just give me a minute."

"O...kay. Just don't hurt yourself," Chuck quipped before returning to his game. Casey had to fight not to scowl; this really wasn't the right time.

He realized he must look quite out of place watching Chuck, standing in front of his window as stiff as a statue—that was what he might as well have been, as he only moved to breathe. Casey wondered what Chuck thought of the whole situation. Chuck, Casey had learned, was usually one to immediately judge people, a quality he respected. Still, he was curious.

He should leave. His instincts were telling him to leave, go home. Sleep. And they'd never been wrong before.

"Do you," he started, his voice a little louder than he wanted it to be. It gained Chuck's attention well enough, however, so he tried to continue.

"Do you…" Casey's face scrunched up in concentration. I must look like a fucking twelve year old. "What I mean is… would you… maybe…" Casey had never felt like less of a man at any other point in his life than he did right now.

Chuck's face was concerned, however. "Would I… what?"

Casey had killed hundreds of men and women. He had been a spy for more than twenty years. He had blown things up, cut peoples' throats, and fired bullets into brains, and still he couldn't seem to find the words he was looking for.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, gathering himself.

"Would you… want to go out with me sometime?" There. He had said it. It was out in the open now.

'The boat has set sail', he thought with bitter humor.

Chuck looked horrified.

'And apparently it's sinking.'

"Right," he said quickly, refusing to let his disappointment show on his face or in his voice. "Right. I should… I'll just go." He turned back to the window, hooking his fingers underneath its frame in order to open it.

As he was about to step out, he felt Chuck's hand on his bicep, turning him around.

"I'm not angry, Casey." He smiled. "Just… surprised."

At this, Casey snorted. "That makes two of us."

"But, Casey… you're really asking me out?"

The spy looked down at his feet. "Yeah," he responded quietly.

"This isn't some sort of prank?"

"Uh… no."

Chuck narrowed his eyes, his lips forming a hard line as he regarded Casey for a long moment.

"Okay," he said after a while.

Casey's eyebrows shot up. "Okay?"

Chuck nodded. "Okay. I mean, I don't know my schedule for next week yet, so we'll have to wait until I do before we actually make plans. But okay."

Casey wanted to wrap his arms around Chuck then and there and shove his tongue down the younger man's throat to show him just how relieved he was that not only had he forgiven him for making a complete and total ass of himself, but that he still wanted to go on a date with him.

He didn't let any of this show, however. "Great. I'll, uh… I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

Chuck beamed. "Alright." And with that Casey stepped out of the window.

As he walked away, back to his apartment, Casey couldn't help but feel that he had accomplished something pretty outstanding just then.

~fin.