Enchanting Facebook
by HerTaintedQuill
I'm starting a new "story". I hope you'll find this amusing. This Time will be updated as soon as possible. I promise. This story will sometimes be on facebook format or in drabble form. I hope you will enjoy this as much as my other ones.
Yours truly,
HerTaintedQuill
0~0~0~)~)~)~)~
Prologue: Welcome to my life
Hello, my name is Hermione Granger. I am using current Facebook. It has become the most popular thing ever in the Muggle world. My cousin, Isabella, introduced me to this. I was very surprised when I saw Draco Malfoy and his cronies on there. Shocked actually.
This morning I received a chat from the ever-so-charming Sirius Black.
Chat:
Sirius Black: I'm alive.
Hermione Jean Granger: Ok. : )
Ah, wall photos: "Lady Gaga visited Hogwarts and Voldemort isn't scary anymore."
Oh, goodness.
Oh, wow.
I just apparently stumbled upon Lord Voldemort's wall. Let's see. This has to be interesting.
Lord Voldemort: SORRY GUYZZZZZ. Been too busy killing muggles.
Elphie Thropp: Muggles?
Lord Voldemort: Yes.
Rubeus Hagrid: Hey Baldy, how's the killing
Lord Voldemort: I feckin' hate you all. I hope you all die.
Harry Cullen: Well, you're just lovely.
I stopped at this. Cullen? Mmm… I think that is an impostor.
Harry James Potter:
Is Lord Voldemort huggable?
Harry James Potter voted no
Here are more questions about Lord Voldemort:
Q1:Is Lord Voldemort fun to be around?
Q2:Would you want to be stuck on a deserted island with Lord Voldemort?
Q5:Do you think Lord Voldemort has a bad haircut?
Q3:Do you think Lord Voldemort looks good in a bathing suit?
Q4:Does Lord Voldemort have soft hands?
Merlin's beard! Next.
Lord Voldemort: Stop sending me Farmville requests. I am not a farmer.
Oh, yes, I will.
More questions and answers from Harry.
Does Lord Voldemort have nice eyes?
HELL NO
What did you do last time you saw Lord Voldemort ?
Took the piss out of him.
Do you think Lord Voldemort will always be in your life?
I REALLY HOPE NOT!
Now, Cedric commented.
Cedric Diggory: we meet again lord….Whats your name again?
Adam Killjoy James: George
Lord Voldemort: Voldemort. YOU SPARKLY FAGGOT.
Ooo. Burn.
Lord Voldemort: Yo, people. Stop asking to be death eaters. Don't lick my ass, if I want you I'll take you.
Well…
Ronald Weasley:
Is Voldemort Lord cute?
Ronald Weasley voted yes
Here are more questions about Lord Voldemort:
Q1:Is Lord Voldemort smarter than George W. Bush?
Q2:Is Lord Voldemort outspoken?
Q3:Do you think Lord Voldemort is a hard worker?
Q4:Does Lord Voldemort resemble a monkey?
Q5:Can Lord Voldemort dance?
I shuddered. I really do need to knock some sense into him.
That had started my day on Facebook. Let me give you some of my background. I am at my office now. Baby Rose is on the stroller next to me, sleeping soundly. You might wonder how an intelligent twenty year old have a child. You see, Ron and I shagged like rabbits after getting very drunk at the after war party. During the pregnancy, I consumed various strange combination of food especially corn salsa ice cream with durian yogurt and lime gelatin. Yes, I think that is all you need to know for now.