I read a few stories awhile back (I can't remember titles/authors—my sincerest apologies) that dealt with Draco and/or Harry finding fanfiction about themselves. Cute concept. I was amused, but quite disappointed, when the characters were horrified by the idea and/or fled, leaving the horrendous literature far behind. Now, in my world, they're already a couple and have a different reaction.
(BTW; None of the examples I'm quoting/referring to are from actual stories—that I'm aware of. I made them up. I have read a few stories that read similarly and they honestly tend to make me giggle a bit with some of the weird/overly dramatic descriptions. Also, I'm not judging any of the 'kinks' listed personally... just going with how I think the boys would react. To each their own, is my personal opinion.)

Warnings: EWE/ignores canon, male slash, language, smexy times (with mentions of: rimming, fisting, BDSM, dub/non con, D/s, watersports, cum play, blood play, asphyxiation/breath play and spanking).

"...fucking shit— Harry!"

Harry rushed into the room, looking around for Draco. "What?" he asked, his face pinched in concern from the frantic tone. The concern shifted to annoyance when he saw Draco only lounging in one of their over-stuffed chairs, bent over and looking intently at his laptop. The bastard had him thinking there was a problem!

"Look at this!" Draco practically yelled, pointing a finger at the laptop perched on his knees. "Get over here and look!" he said when Harry only stood in the doorway and stared blankly at him. He huffed and crossed his arms. "I'm serious."

Harry only raised an eyebrow. "Am I supposed to applaud you using Muggle things?" he asked, raising his hands and poising them sarcastically.

"No, you git. Get. Over. Here."

Harry rolled his eyes and walked across the room obediently, stopping in front of Draco. "Now what?"

"Oh, for the love of—" Draco huffed and turned the laptop so it was facing Harry. "Look. Read."

Harry bent at the waist and as soon as his eyes saw the words 'hot, throbbing cock', an eyebrow rose slowly. "You want me to read smut?" he asked, amused. He wouldn't mind, not really—dinner could wait a bit longer. But he'd rather get more comfortable if that were the case. Draco had quite a few tabs open...

"Yes," Draco said flatly. "Not just any smut—" he said eagerly, his voice tinged with glee. "Look closer."

Harry didn't look closer, but he did look more thoroughly. "Oh," he said, surprised. He noticed quite rapidly the character written about was him. And Draco. He quickly moved to sit beside Draco in the over-sized chair, moving the laptop so he could see better as he did. Once it was settled on both of their knees, he scrolled up to the beginning of the story. "Where the hell did you find this?" he asked, a bit distracted by a rather graphic account of him getting Draco's whole hand shoved up his arse. He winced a little and shifted in the chair involuntarily. That was not going to happen. Draco's dick was big enough for his needs, thankyouverymuch; he didn't need any other body parts penetrating him.

"The internet, Harry," Draco said dryly. He was a little distracted as well by the bit about him cumming all over Harry's face, the Story-Gryffindor humming and squealing like a cock slut that seemed to need ejaculate to survive. It was appealing, in a way. Harry was enthusiastic enough for his liking; he'd probably be a little turned off if Harry actually squealed… About anything, but especially during sex. He snorted at the idea of keeping Harry's glasses on while he 'came in hot, jerking spurts' and nearly cringed after the amusement faded. Harry would probably kill him; he didn't even like fingerprints on his lenses... Not to mention his glasses were always long discarded by the time they did anything past kissing. He either carefully removed them or just flung them across the room. (Which, he had to stop doing—he was quite sure Harry's current pair wouldn't survive another Reparo…)

Harry slowly looked from the story and gave Draco a flat look. "Duh," he drawled, rolling his eyes. He looked back to the story. "I mean, why? Er... How?" he asked, becoming distracted again and absentmindedly licking his lips as he read about Story-Draco painting them with his cum. He wrinkled his nose at the very idea of cum splashed glasses, though. (He'd accidentally had that happen once during a vigorous wank session and it took forever to get off. Ugh.) Obviously, the author did not wear glasses with any regularity. He clicked a new tab and his jaw dropped. "What the fuck were you looking for?" he asked, pointing at the screen and glaring at Draco.

He was not getting pissed on. Ever. He wrinkled his nose again. Apparently Story-Harry enjoyed it and 'moaned like a rutting Hippogriff as the golden liquid splashed against his tawny skin'. God, who thought of this shit? And what does a rutting Hippogriff even sound like?

"Believe it or not, a gift for my mother," Draco said, shrugging when Harry quickly peeked up at him through his bangs with an incredulous glare. "You know how my attention wanders," he defended. With the way websites were arranged nowadays, one errant click lead to another... And suddenly, he was enraptured with a story someone wrote about Harry practically sucking his innards out through his cock and pounding him into a mattress like an enchanted jack-hammer. He felt quite justified in reading further.

It's not like it was a completely foreign concept. Harry did do those things. Quite well at that. It was just... intriguing to see it written out. In graphic detail. By a complete stranger. He didn't even know why someone would do such a thing in the first place (he'd heard of fantasizing about celebrities, but this was a whole new level that stymied him). But the oddness didn't at all diminish his intrigue. He hadn't thought Harry (or himself) famous enough to be focused on in such a way. God, was he ever wrong. Quite a few details were obviously complete fantasy (he almost wished he or Harry had a 9 inch dick, but what bloke didn't at one point or another) but a fantasy or two never hurt anyone.

Harry shook his head and clicked on a new tab. "OK, some of these I can almost laugh at," he said offhandedly, wrinkling his nose and closing a tab as soon as his eye landed on 'bloody' and 'dripping dick'. He had seen enough blood and had plenty of scars... and it wasn't fucking erotic. He skimmed another, wincing. Who the hell wanted to be choked while they got fucked? He trusted Draco with his life but the idea of such a thing only made him want to hide. Not wank or be pounded into a mattress while gasping for air as his vision spotted and faded.

He never thought he was a prude until he saw the... creative ways people had sex (or at least fantasized about having sex). His eyes widened. Chains? Leather? Ropes? Shackles? Yes, he was definitely a prude, apparently. The idea of being bound and at Draco's mercy wasn't unappealing but it didn't seem to do anything for him when it got into the heavier descriptions that edged towards what he could only think of as torture. He cringed at the graphic description of Story-Draco forcing himself inside Story-Harry, dry and unprepared, and closed it. Tied and at Draco's mercy was one thing, but he couldn't imagine rape being appealing.

He shuddered a little; some people were fucking weird.

He closed another few tabs, the titles alone enough to have him clicking the X. "No," he said blandly when Draco gave him a questioning look. "I can't even stomach the thought of a whip in your hand." He slowly looked over at his blonde, his eyes roaming his body. "The leather pants, though..." he trailed off suggestively, turning back to the laptop but taking a moment to let the mental image linger. God, leather would do amazing things for Draco's already amazing arse.

The next story almost looked normal. He nearly 'awww'd at the romantic bit at the start. A romantic dinner by candlelight and Story-Draco saying sweet, endearing things. Draco certainly was romantic, surprisingly enough. Candles, romantic dinners, tortuously languid foreplay... Draco knew how to romance a bloke and he did it often enough to keep things interesting, but sparingly enough he never knew when to expect it. He rolled his eyes when two other characters sauntered into the plot. So much for fluffy romance... The ensuing gang bang scene banished the gooey warmth that was starting to settle in his body. It was a bit of a turn on to ponder the possibility of being caught like a spit-roasted piece of meat between two men at once... but just not the ones in the story. "I really can't imagine myself getting turned on by Blaise or Ron," he said with a shrug. Both men were too close to him, more like brothers.

Plus he knew for a fact their wives wouldn't want to be left out and that was just so not worth even considering.

"They are attractive," he said plainly, not able to deny it. "But I really wouldn't want either of them to—" He leaned forward to get a better look at the words, "—'circle Harry, enclosing him in a circle of hot, bulging, rippling man flesh, surrounding him with their rock hard meat wands and overpowering manly musk as their cocks exploded one by one. Harry moaned and writhed as each hot, wet load splashed on his face'." He snorted, barely withholding an unmanly giggle as he continued. "'Harry licked his lips lasciviously, his smoldering emerald orbs burning as he rubbed the cum into his skin with one hand and licked the other clean.' Wow."

It wasn't exactly erotic, not with the way the scene was written. Meat wands? Manly musk? Exploding cocks? Bulging, rippling man flesh? Really?

Besides, Draco was lithe, sleek... He wasn't at all feminine in build but he never would have said 'rippling' when describing his lover. He wrinkled his nose a little; that really wasn't his type. He certainly enjoyed the muscled look as well as the next bloke, but that was simply as eye-candy.

"Well—" Draco said and cleared his throat. "No," he amended when Harry glanced over at him. No, he didn't want to share his Harry but he had to admit it didn't exactly turn him off to imagine watching Harry's arse or face being fucked as he filled the other end... Or the image of cum dripping down Harry's cheekbones and lips as well as his arse and thighs, at the same time. Maybe dripping off his messy bangs... "No," he said again when Harry only continued to look at him. "Well, not with all of them."

Harry snorted and elbowed Draco lightly. "Not with any of them. I do not share. You do not share."

"I know."

Harry rolled his eyes and went back to reading. His eyes widened. "Here's an interesting one," he said lowly, scrolling down the screen. He snorted when Draco scoffed. "So, you don't want to be leashed and dominated?" he asked cheekily. He should probably be annoyed Draco looked freaked out, mainly because it was about him this time; apparently he preferred Harry to be the one subjected to other's sexual kinks. He snickered as Draco scowled a little, apparently not OK with the whole situation.

"No," Draco said dryly. "I do quite like when you're my bossy little bottom," he cooed, laughing when Harry grumped and slapped at him. "I have my limits, though, dear." And being completely dominated by anyone was where that ended. He had enough of that shit growing up. Though, if he had to, he wouldn't want anyone else but Harry holding his leash (or maybe a leather riding crop). He hummed and nuzzled Harry's neck. "I'd wear your collar though," he murmured.

Harry chuckled softly. "Good to know," he breathed, gasping softly at the end when Draco's teeth lightly nipped at his earlobe and trailed down his neck, sucking and nibbling. "Which of these is turning you on?" he asked. He was mildly curious, not at all bothered. Even the... questionable content had erotic bits that were affecting him as well.

"That one," Draco said, pointing to a tab Harry had already gone past. He clicked on it again and snickered. "What?" Draco asked, flicking Harry's shoulder. "You're seriously telling me the thought of me completely filling you doesn't turn you on? Not even a little?" He lifted and flexed his hand, fisting it a few times as if in demonstration, and wiggled his eyebrows. He didn't honestly expect to shove it anywhere, but it was hot reading about it.

Harry slowly shook his head. "Not especially. Your cock is big enough, darling," he said, trying for bored but coming off breathless and sounding thoroughly turned on. Okay, maybe it wasn't as horrible to read about but he couldn't consider actually doing it.

"Mm-hm," Draco agreed and nuzzled Harry's neck again. "Still... I'm not saying I want to do it, but the way it's described is rather intriguing."

Harry gave a non-committal grunt and closed the tab. He squirmed in the chair again, the very idea making his ass throb a little, and not with erotic anticipation. He knew it was something that had to be worked up to, but no... Not something he especially wanted—especially after reading about it and knowing such a thing was possible. "So, you didn't save this one for any specific reason?" he asked, scrolling through a story that was heavy with what he understood was cum play. Fucking hell; could a single man cum that much? Story-Harry was covered in it and it dripped from every possible opening, as well.

"No," Draco said with a shrug. "I have heard there are special potions though..." he trailed off suggestively. "I could cum for hours and just watch you positively leak," he breathed. He smirked when Harry's eyes fluttered closed and his breathing got a bit unsteady. Well, that was an interesting reaction. Of course, Harry tended to have more stamina than he did, so it would probably work better if they tried such a thing when Harry topped. He hummed again, chuckling when Harry closed that tab and went to the next one. It didn't get the idea out of his head and he made a mental note to see if the Weasley twins still carried 'adult' potions.

Harry gasped softly, his eyes flicking rapidly over a detailed, graphic, fuck-hot story. "Oh, shit," he breathed, his pulse quickening. He licked his lips, leaning forward a little more to read the words intently.

"You... like that?" Draco asked, watching Harry closely. He was very adept at spotting a turned on Harry and that was exactly what he was looking at now. He looked away to check the story that seemed to be turning Harry on. Hm. "Spanking, huh?" he asked slowly, quite interested in the detailed description of the way Story-Harry's arse cheeks pinked, making the mental image that popped in his mind quite appealing. He watched the flush work down Harry's neck and he grinned. He could try a spank or two if it would make Harry 'writhe, moan and arch his back like a kneazle in heat'. Oh yes, he could do that.

Harry felt his cheeks warm and he shrugged. "Maybe."

"Maybe," Draco murmured, repeating the word slowly as if tasting it. He definitely could spank Harry... but probably not the near beating the next story described (making him wince and clench his arse cheeks together in sympathy), but he could easily get into watching Harry's perky arse cheeks bounce as they pinked and grew warm. He chuckled, slipping a hand between the seat and Harry's arse, squeezing the muscled flesh a bit. He leered when Harry jumped and looked over at him. "What?"

Harry shook his head and went back to reading, saving that last story but clicking on a new one. "Now, this—" He pointed to the screen. "This isn't so weird. It sort of sticks out as the odd duck, love," he said, snickering under his breath. It was almost surreal to see something he thought of as 'normal' in the numerous tabs. Especially amongst all the kinky things Draco found.

"So? I like doing it," Draco said and gracefully shrugged one shoulder. He laughed outright when Harry snorted and started to giggle. "Got to that part, have you?" he asked. Harry nodded and he leaned in closer to read his favorite bit aloud: "'Draco eased himself elegantly into the best position to worship Harry, fondling his slowly awakening member and stroking a hand down the perfect globes of his ass with reverence. He couldn't wait any longer! He plunged his pointed tongue right into Harry's quivering, man-hole, basking in the musky tasted, slobbering and panting as the tight circle of muscle fluttered and twinged. It loosened, admitting him the entrance he so desired. He wriggled and flexed his love muscle, loving the moans and squeals coming from Harry's sweet mouth.'" He leaned back and smirked. "It's not terrible..."

Harry snorted again, but kept reading. "Your tongue in my arse?" he asked cheekily. "Not at all. But the way they wrote it... " He couldn't help chucking. He didn't squeal, of course, but he did thoroughly enjoy whenever Draco got in the mood to start his preparations with a rim job. He looked at Draco from the corner of his eye and grinned, "You know you love my quivering, musky man-hole, dear."

"Oh, I do, love," Draco agreed with a drawn out sigh, like a love-sick fool. "I adore your musky man-hole and any chance I get to devour it. I worship it," he ended dramatically.

Harry broke down into laughter, the laptop sliding off his lap and landing with a soft thud on the carpet. "Fuck, that would be the best anniversary card. Ever," he said, giggling in sporadic fits. He could see it, written in glitter-covered cursive letters. He shifted, lifting his one leg, and swung himself until he was straddling Draco, resting heavily in the blonde's lap. "So, was this your weird little way to feeling me out for more kinky sex?"

"Not really," Draco said after considering the question. He hadn't thought anything was missing from their sex-life. Harry still made him hard with a heated look and it wasn't exactly rare to have Harry able to come under 5 minutes (or spend hours teasing the man until he almost literally exploded). And, like Harry, not all of the things he read gave him the urge to actually try them. But it was still erotic to read... "I just thought you'd find it as interesting as I did."

Harry hummed and leaned down enough to kiss Draco, his hands cupping his jaw but keeping it light. "Hm. Well, mystery solved. No pissing on me, no whips and chains, no gang bangs, no fisting, and none of that 'Master' and slave stuff." He honestly wasn't sure if he thought other people weird if it got them off, but it wasn't for him. Thankfully, it didn't seem like Draco was that disappointed by his refusals.

"Aww," Draco mocked a pout. He brightened and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, bringing the other man closer until their chests were touching. "But I can spank you," he said lowly. He adored the bright flush that colored Harry's neck and cheeks again and sighed happily.

Excellent.

He was looking forward to trying that. He mentally saluted the fan-fiction site and tried not to pout for real when Harry slid off of his lap to finish dinner. He waited until Harry was in the kitchen for a few minutes before he leaned back in his chair, grinned mischievously, and shouted; "So, after dinner we can read the ones with you and Ginny!"

He snickered into his hand when there was a loud, metallic crash and a stream of 'Eww Eww Eww!'s and 'Fuck no!'s coming from the kitchen.