So I've been pretty fed up with Tony's attitude recently, and I'm thinking in the mindset of Timmy and I popped out this little oneshot. If you don't like it, please don't give me a mean review. This is my perception and every writer has their own.
Title: Bruises
Summary: Because every night was the same. Every night, Tim dreamt about kissing that jerk's perfect lips.
Rating: T
Genre: Drama/Romance/Angst/Hurt/Comfort
Characters: Tim McGee
Characters Mentioned: Anthony DiNozzo and Jethro Gibbs
Pairing: McNozzo
Bruises
Timothy McGee stood in his bathroom silently. His usually blazing green eyes were dull and lifeless. His normally pale complexion was somewhat of a paler shade than he was used to. He examined his newly thin frame, thinking to himself silently.
He worked so hard for this. For fourteen months just to get noticed by him. The only person (besides his abusive college ex-boyfriend) that he really loved and had feelings for. Tim thought "why bother?" everyday. There had been a small sliver of hope when he started losing the weight. Anthony DiNozzo had noticed. He'd complimented. Tim had felt so happy. But then tony reverted back to his old ways. Being nice for a moment...and then abuse. Which is more than the young agent could take. There was only so much that you could endure day to day.
Closing his eyes, Tim felt a solitary tear escape his eye. He hated Tony. Hated Tony's attitude. He hated himself for loving Tony. He just plain hated himself. Even with the pound dropped, he still hated himself.
Opening his eyes once more, Tim looked down at his arms. Bruises ranging in size up and down his forearms were all made by him, everytime he felt hated. There were a total of ten. Five on each arm. Tim was happy for jackets and long-sleeved shirts worn at work. Gibbs would for sure have cornered and questioned him until he cracked. Then what? Tim didn't want to think about it. He'd rather have it be a secret. His own, hurtful, little secret. Suffering was his personal Savior. He thought he was better than that, really he did. Clearly he was wrong. Even is everyone else around him thought otherwise, Tim just couldn't believe it himself. All his life he was told that he was a failure, that he was a loser. A no good, worthless fat geek. That's all tim ever knew. all he ever thrived on. When he joined NCIS, he'd hoped for a release and confidence builder, but Tony just made it worse. Every now and again, however, Tim himself made it worse. Like the time he shot that undercover cop. And the time his books got him into hot waters with a murder. There were lots more to follow those. Yes, Timothy McGee hated Tony and himself. Whichever one he hated the most, the Probie would never figure out.
"No..." Tim whispered to himself, slightly angry. He was not the Probie anymore. Never again. Not anymore, no. Yet Tony still continued to call him that. Not as much as he used to, no, Tony had actually started saying "Tim" a lot more nowadays. But there was the occasional "Probie". It was frustrating to say the least.
Shutting off the light, Tim dragged his feet to his bedroom. Shutting the door, he fell onto the bed and curled up.
It wasn't always like this. He had good days. He sometimes even had really good days. But all too often, Tim had bad, lonely, hurtful days. He wished that he didn't feel like this. It hurt physically and emotionally. Pain was a comfrot, but sometimes it was a downright burden to bear.
Tim closed his eyes, hugging the pillow to his head. He would soon let sleep overtake him and shut out the pain he felt.
Anthony DiNozzo was a jerk. An egotistical, puffed up, "look at me, I'm the best" jerk. It was a pain and it was unbearable to be around him for it. Yet, every night was the same for Tim. Because in the end, he knew that he was in love with that same jerk. Every night, Tim thought and dreamt about kissing that jerk's perfect lips.
He really hated himself.
End
Reviews, please!
Jay