Men Should Not
By: Neko
Disclaimers: I don't own Shaman King. If I did, there would be no way in hell that I'd let 4Kids dub it.
Summary: There are things men should do and some things men shouldn't do. Horo reads about it in a magazine and then something happens with him and Ren. Everything that is said in that article is now happening to them. HoroxRen One-Shot
HoroHoro sighed for the umpteenth time that day. He was, no doubt bored. Ren was off training and Horo didn't want to join the spirit world before his time so he didn't join Ren in the gym. Horo sighed once more and got up, walking to the kitchen. At least there is food to satisfy him. Horo walked over to the fridge and opened it, only to find it completely empty. Horo's mouth dropped and froze for a total of exactly 10 seconds.
"NO FOOD!" Horo yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. "WHO CAN LIVE WITHOUT FOOD!" He groaned and slumped back over to the couch. He sighed once again and turned on the TV with the remote, flipping through different channels. There was nothing on. "Discovery channel... boring..." Horo muttered. "Kids WB... I hate this cartoon... Next..." He continued flipping through channels and even his MTV channel didn't seem to satisfy him. Suddenly, the door bell rang. Horo jumped and ran to the door. He opened it to find the mail man standing there.
"You've got mail." He said with a smile and handed him a pile of letters/mails.
"Thanks." Horo said and closed the door. He walked back, flipping through the mail. "Bills... bills... letter from school... bills... bills... another letter from school... advertisement... news paper... magazine... B- Wait..." Horo paused. Magazine? Horo placed everything on the table on picked up the magazine.
"Hmmm... This must be Jun's." He mumbled as he flipped through it. He was bored anyway so why not take a look. "Hmmm... 50 cent sold a new album... Blah, blah, blah..." Horo flipped through the pages again and paused at something that caught his eyes. "Hmmm... Men Should Not..." He muttered and quickly scanned through it.
There are some things men should do and some things men shouldn't, especially if it has to do with other men.
Horo raised a thin eye brow. He had no idea why such an article would even be in a magazine but who cares. He was bored so he continued reading.
Rule Number 1- Men should never be alone in a room with another man. Especially if it's a dark room.
"Ok..." Horo muttered.
Rule Number 2- Men should never sleep in the same room alone at night.
"Duh..." Horo muttered.
Rule Number 3- Men should never watch horror or romance movies by themselves.
"Romance and- Never mind. I won't even ask..."
Rule Number 4- When there is a black out, men should never use candles to light the room up.
"What else are you supposed to use? What if there are no flashlights?" Horo asked to no one in particular.
Rule Number 5- Men should never stay in a room with candles inside.
"Isn't that kind of like the same as... Oh never mind..."
Rule Number 6- Men should never use their house bathroom at the same time.
"Who would!" Horo rolled his eyes.
Rule Number 7- Men should never stand 2 feet away from each other unless they are in a fight.
Horo raised a thin eye brow once again. "Ok..."
Rule Number 8- Men should not star gaze alone with another male. You'll never know what might happen.
Horo rolled his eyes. He was getting bored of this but continued to read since he was just about done.
Rule Number 9- Men should not kiss another boy. Wither it's a dare or not.
"Finally..." Horo muttered. "The last one..."
Rule Number 10- Men should not love other men.
"Ok that is just stupid." Horo said laughing. He flipped through a few more pages, reading something about the celebrity page when Ren walked in.
"Why are you reading that stupid magazine?" Ren asked in an annoyed tone.
"I'm bored. What else?" Horo muttered. Ren rolled his eyes and walked over to the kitchen only to return with a glass of milk.
"What is it with you and milk anyway?" Horo asked Ren who looked at him.
"None of your business." Ren muttered, gulping it down. Horo mocked him and put the magazine down.
"Whatever." Horo muttered. "By the way, where's all the food?"
"Gone." Ren simply told him.
"GONE!" Horo yelled. Ren just looked at him with a bored look. "HOW CAN ANYONE LIVE WITHOUT FOOD!" Ren rolled his eyes and walked off, placed his glass in the sink and walked off into his room, totally ignoring Horo. Horo muttered something under her breath and then walked to his room, closing the door behind him with a click.
It was about 8 or so and Horo was getting very hungry. He walked out of his room and found Ren eating.
"I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT THERE WAS NO FOOD LEFT!" He yelled, pointing at the Chinese boy who just looked up at him with a blank look.
"There wasn't so I went to buy." Ren simply told him and continued eating. Horo muttered something under his breath and walked over to Ren who continued eating and ignoring him.
"Got any more?" He asked Ren who shook his head.
"BUT I'M HUNGRY!" Horo yelled.
"Kisama! Stop yelling!" Ren yelled back. "Go get your own food you lazy bum!"
"Well I'm hungry! And what is there to get! You probably ate them all!" Horo yelled. Ren smirked and walked off with his empty plate. He placed it in the sink and washed his hands. Again, he was totally ignoring the Ainu.
"Hello! I'm hungry!" Horo yelled again.
"And what am I suppose to do about that? I'm not your mother you know." Ren snapped back. He had been learning how to control his temper lately but even that has its limits...
"But I don't know how to cook!" Horo whined.
"And? I am supposed to care why?" Ren asked, lifting a delicate eyebrow. Horo groaned.
"You know what? Never mind. I'll cook something myself." He muttered.
"I think I better stay and make sure you don't burn up the place." Ren muttered with a chuckle.
Horo sighed as he slowly walked to his room. Dinner didn't go so well and Horo finally convinced Ren to cook. It was actually quite good. Horo ad never thought of Ren as the cooking type but didn't think much about it. He looked out the window for a while and then decided to go to the showers. He grabbed his pajamas from the edge of his bed and walked off to the bath room.
Once inside, he slowly stripped himself and stepped into the showers, sliding the curtain across for privacy. He sighed, letting the warm water splash onto his face. He was somewhat lost in his own little world until someone interrupted him.
"How long are you just going to stand there like an idiot?" Ren asked, arms folded.
"H-Hey! You know, they created rooms for a reason you know! It's called privacy!" Horo yelled, blushing as he shut the showers off and grabbed a towel closest to him. "And you are not supposed to be in the bathroom when someone else in it!" Horo didn't notice it then but he was referring to the magazine article her had read earlier.
"And you think I care about a stupid rule like that?" He asked.
"If it was you in here and I came in, you would have cared." Horo told Ren with a nod. "I would have been kicked out once you saw my head poke into the room!"
Ren chuckled and walked over to the mirror, to grab a comb to comb his hair.
"Hey... I didn't know you care so much about your hair." Horo said as he slowly stepped out, making sure that the towel was covering his bottom half. Ren rolled his eyes.
"Baka." He muttered, putting the comb down. He turned and walked out.
After that little bathroom incident, Horo walked out of the bathroom and back into his room, closing the door behind him. Minutes later, you could hear music blazing in Ren's room.
"REN! LOWER THAT MAN!" Horo yelled, banging against the wall. Ren's room was right next to Horo's so he was sure Ren would be able to hear him banging. Then again, this was Ren. He wouldn't give a dam about wither he is disturbing you or not. Horo sighed and turned on the TV, trying to find something interesting to watch. He sighed when he didn't' find much and was about to leave when he spotted something. He took a closer look and yelped with joy.
"My video game! I was wondering where it went." He said happily. He walked over to his Game Cube, put the game in and began playing. "Buhahaha, prepare to die!" He yelled as he started playing like crazy.
A good half hour or... next few hours, Horo finally made it to the final round after 20 continues.
"Yes! Final level!" Horo yelled. He pressed the A button and waited for the game to load. When it did, he yet again, played like crazy. A good 15 minutes or so passed by and Horo yelled out with joy as he finally defeated the game. But before he was able to put in his name in the top score page, TV went off. Horo froze, mouth open, starring at the TV.
'WHAT HAPPENED!" He yelled out loudly. He banged the TV and the banged it again with his remote control. -And you wonder why it's broken...- A few good seconds or so later, he found out that the lights went off as well.
"Hey... What's the deal here?" He asked looking around. He looked at the door to find it opened and a small floated flame was floating towards him.
"AH! THE RING!" He yelled running as far away from the door and TV as he could. He heard a growl and a mutter 'baka'. He blinked and noticed that it was Ren who was holding a light candle.
'DON'T EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!" Horo yelled, pointing a finger at the Chinese boy who just stared at him with a bored look.
"Baka. You said you wanted to watch The Ring so don't go blaming me." Ren said rolling his eyes. He threw Horo a package of something. Horo, being blind as a bat at night, couldn't see it which caused the package to hit his head.
"Ow!" He yelled rubbing his forehead. Ren chuckled and threw another box at him. This time, Horo caught it.
"What is this anyway?" Horo asked. Ren set the candle down and took a seat by his desk.
"Candles. What else?" He muttered. Horo froze.
Rule Number 4- When there is a black out, men should never use candles to light the room up.
The article whispered back into Horo's mind and Horo froze.
"W-What are the candles for?" He asked Ren nervously.
"To burn down the place." Ren muttered.
"Really?" Horo asked, a bit relieved. Ren rolled his eyes and threw a random item on Horo's desk at him. Horo dodged it and banged into the wall next to him.
"Baka, watch where you are going." Ren muttered as he started lighting the other candles.
"Its pitch black in here! You try watching your step!" Horo yelled at Ren who ignored him. "And why candles?"
"Because Jun took the flashlight with her on her camping trip." Ren muttered.
"Ok..." Horo muttered. "And what's the deal here? Black out?"
"No. I just want to conserve energy." Ren muttered, rolling his eyes. "Really Horo. Can you be any stupider?" Horo scowled at the Tao who just chuckled.
Men should never stay in a room with candles inside.
Men should never stand 2 feet away from each other unless they are in a fight.
The article yet again, crept back into Horo's mind. He gulped uneasily. "That is bull... It's just stupid girl talk..." Horo muttered to himself.
"What was that?" Horo turned to find him face to face with Ren, the faces inches apart. He let out a yelp and fell backwards, landing on his bed. Ren chuckled and turned around to take a seat by Horo's desk.
"I told you not to watch horror films." Ren said shaking his head.
"It was Hao's idea ok!" Horo yelled.
"You know you shouldn't listen to that bastard." Ren muttered, folding his arms. He then got up and walked to the window, gazing up at the night sky.
"Why are you in here anyway?" Horo asked looking at Ren with curious eyes.
"None of your business." Ren simply told him and continued star gazing. Horo made a face and sighed.
"Man... I was about to win too..." He muttered, looking at the TV. Ren turned to Horo with a weird look.
"You are crying over a video game?" He asked Horo with a chuckle.
"Hey! You try winning that game!" Horo yelled.
"I got better things to do." Ren told Horo.
After a good 10-15 minutes of arguing, they finally settled down and watched the stars for a while. Horo couldn't shake off the article he had read earlier.
Men should not star gaze alone with another male. You'll never know what might happen.
He shook his head. "It's stupid girl talk. Forget it." He mumbled.
"Hmmmm?" Ren looked at Horo again. "What is wrong with you?" He asked Horo.
"What?" Horo asked, looking in Ren's golden tiger eyes.
"You have been muttering about nothing for the last hour." Ren told Horo. "What's the matter with you?"
"Ch, you wouldn't care if I told you anyway." Horo said, waving his hand at him.
"True..." Ren muttered looking back at the stars. Horo scowled at Ren again which started another argument which then let to wrestling each other and name calling.
"Bastard! Take that back!" Horo yelled.
"Over my dead body!" Ren yelled back.
"Exactly! Over your dead body!" The wrestling game continued on for a few minutes and Horo surprisingly ended up being the victor. He had pinned Ren down with a grin.
"Ha! I win!" He yelled.
"Shut up Baka. You did not win. I am just saving my energy." Ren told Horo.
"For your speech when you admit that I won right?" Horo asked Ren who glared at him. There was silence between the two for a while. Neither of them moved, nor cared about the position they were in. Golden meeting blue... The next few minutes were just stares. Yes, stares... Not glares. Just stares. Horo slowly tilted his head and bent over, gently pressing his lips on Ren's.
Horo finally broke the kiss a few seconds later, face a bit flushed. He looked at the Tao who was still pinned down below him. Ren's face was flushed but something was different about him. His eyes were soft and gentle but his frown remained the same. Horo then felt himself being tackled t the grown and he could hear Ren growl in a low tone.
"Baka!" Ren hissed at Horo who was now being pinned on the floor by the Tao. "Don't you know? I always make the first moves." With that, Ren pressed his lips on Horo's without waiting for a response. Horo's eyes widened a bit as the article drifting into his mind again.
Rule Number 9- Men should not kiss another boy. Wither it's a dare or not.
Rule Number 10- Men should not love other men.
Horo's eyes began to slowly slide close. "Of heck with the rules." He through as he kissed the Tao back. He can kiss and love whoever the hell he wants. Who cares anyway? Ren didn't and neither should he... Yes, there were things that men should do and things men shouldn't. But those rules don't apply to love...
Ahhh! My first One-Shot and my first Yaoi! It didn't come out that bad... I know I could have done a bit better but I never written Yaoi before and I am bad at romance so... I'm a bit shaky right now. Lol, got the Rule stuff from a radio conversation I heard a few days ago. Not everything mentioned in the article came true though... So what do you think? Cute or what?