MY FIRST KISS WENT A LITTLE LIKE THIS
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE TWILIGHT CHARACTERS; ALL CHARACTERS BELONG RESPECTIVELY TO STEPHENIE MEYER.
SUMMARY: Isabella Marie Swan is known as the ugly duckling at Forks High, but when news hits that she's transferring to another School, suddenly Isabella is determined to become a beautiful Swan, and nothing is going to stop her, Not even Edward Cullen.
Meet the ugly duckling of Forks High.
Not really actually, but after being addressed as the Ugly Duckling for 3 years you tend to get used to it. Answering to the words Ugly duckling just happens to be a part of my every day. Does it bother me? Of course, but when the entire school population is against you it's kind of hard to fight back.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a complete pushover, but sometimes you have to learn that maybe it's not the smartest thing in the world to go bad mouthing all the popular girls or guys in school. You'll suddenly find your ass hounded by plenty of infatuated teens who are going to prove you wrong about them even though you know you're right.
Don't feel bad though, you are right, it's just that these people are too lost in their own worlds of perfect-ness to realize it.
My name is Isabella Marie Swan, or as most people would say, the Ugly Duckling. How did I acquire such a name? Well 'Swan' apparently is known as a beautiful majestic bird, both of which I am not. So what do I get stuck with?
The Ugly Duckling
There were many suggestions before that one came along. Some of my personal favourites were:
Giant Ibis: This one is kind of a funny one. Don't even ask me to fathom the ways of teenage minds.
You are a teenager.
Oh right... well you know what I mean.
Basically somehow someone turned the word Ibis into Abyss. Figure it out? Well basically I'm a giant nothing, or giant good for nothing, giant big waste of space, really, the list goes on and on. I'm pretty sure you get the point though.
Cuban Trogon: Do you see it? Try thinking like a teenager. Now think of condoms. That's right, Trojan! And because every mind of a teenager is infected with thoughts of sex and drugs, this just happened to be one of the guys' favourites.
Mute Swan: This is pretty easy to figure out. Apparently I'm 'mute'. My god, clearly these people really didn't know what I was saying about them in my head.
It really doesn't count though does it?
Shut up.
Well that one wasn't very popular actually, just one of the 2 minute things until someone smart enough stood up and said, "Dude what the fuck, that sucks!" And they would go right on into creating some more new names.
Whopper Swan: Honestly, I don't even know. Whopper Swan? Really? This one really didn't last, I'm guessing it's because I'm not that 'whopping' as in hot. Who knows? Am I boring you yet? If I am, please don't hesitate to not read it. It's just I thought I'd education a little bit about birds. Please feel free to skip a long.
Hoopoe: Alright so for this one you've got to get rid of 2 of the O's and the P. And Voila! You are left with 'Hoe'. Again at the beginning everyone was like, "Ooh! Hoe, ha-ha that's great!" But then people realized, well what the fuck? Who would even get with her? And they all decided they got disgusted and this one was quickly forgotten.
Bar-Tailed Trogon: Again, scroll up. Refer to the word 'Trojan'.
Dodo: I'm dumb? Extinct? Or both?
Kiwi: Alright last one I promise. This one I will leave up to you guys because I have absolutely no Idea why Kiwi was chosen. I really don't. Maybe someone one day will be able to help me comprehend this choice.
So I realized maybe I've been talking a little bit too much about birds, but just thought you'd like to know. 3 years of High School here has sucked, but hey I've learned about plenty of new birds. But now my time with my lovely flock of birds is over.
A week ago my mom called me from California and told me some depressing news. Well before I tell you about her news I should tell you a little bit about myself first.
When I was young I grew up in Forks with my Mom and Dad. Renee and Charlie. They had married young and loved each other. However after a few years my mom just couldn't handle the constant downpour of rain and gloom that this town offered and decided that enough was enough.
Unfortunately my father Charlie didn't agree. This led to their divorce. I was too young to really understand it, but soon I found myself living in sunny warm Jacksonville, Florida.
However, every summer and holiday I'd spend it with my dad. I loved my mom, but my dad Charlie was great. He wasn't a man of words, but then again neither was I. We weren't big on the whole emotional side, but we got along really well. I didn't like Forks that much, but Charlie had always made it fun somehow. Whether he'd take me fishing or to his best friend Billy, he'd always make time for me.
I loved my mom but sometimes she just didn't get it. Growing up I felt like I was raising her instead of the other way around. She was also very spontaneous and always found herself in new things to occupy herself with.
Before my first year of High School, things changed. Suddenly my mom was more distant with me, she was always flustered and always seemed on the verge of asking me something but never seemed to spit it out.
Eventually one day I confronted her about it. She told how she liked her long-term boyfriend, Phil Dwyer. He was a baseball player who only played in the minor leagues but dreamed about soon becoming a national player. Personally I really didn't see this happening.
I knew mom liked him and was dating him, but I never really thought about it. Next thing I knew, mom was telling me she was pregnant. I was shocked but at the same time pleasantly surprised. I'd never thought of having another sibling but suddenly at the moment it felt right. I congratulated her and it seemed like a big weight had been taken off her shoulders.
She then told me how he had proposed and they were going to get married and in a way I was excited. But at the same time I couldn't help but wonder if this was like cheating on my dad by having another dad. You know?
In the end I decided Phil was just Phil, and Charlie was my dad.
After the glorious wedding (which Charlie did not attend) things began to go downhill. I knew mom and Phil wanted some time on their own so I decided to go visit Charlie for 2 weeks. We had a good time reconnecting but not once did he ask about mom and Phil. When I left I simply said "You'll always be my dad."
It was one of the few times when my dad told me he loved me, and I cherished it forever as I smiled all the way back home.
When I was back home however, I was not greeted with pleasant smiles. Renee was getting very moody with her pregnancy and she had decided to lash out at anyone at any given chance. Phil was not helping in any way, he always had an excuse to not be home or just wasn't home at all.
Suddenly my summer was filled with Renee-sitting. I got her everything she could possibly imagine; bought all the crazy baby supplies she wanted and woke up at 3 am in the morning when she wanted to eat pickles.
The night that changed everything was on a late August evening. I had just came home from buying Renee her chocolate covered almonds when I found her withering on the couch. It was one of those looks in my mother's eyes that I'll never forget.
Immediately I knew something was wrong and called 911. When I checked her temperature I immediately got her a cold cloth to cool down her body. This is when she began to scream. Not just cute like squeals, she began to scream bloody murder.
It soon became apparent why. Abruptly her white dress was becoming stained with dark ruby dots and I could immediately smell the blood. That's when the paramedics finally decided to show up and quickly strapped her onto the stretcher and no sooner were they saying "1, 2, 3" and she was in the ambulance.
They shoved an oxygen mask on her face while asking for her name. After she yelled her name in a loud, squeaky strangled kind of voice they decided it probably wasn't the best time for questions.
I called Phil on my cell and told him which hospital we were going to but naturally he didn't pick up. I left a quick voice message explaining what was happening and pleaded for him to call back or to show up.
Four hours later Phil did not show up, he did not leave a message, and my mother was now left without a second child.
There was a premature rupture that happened to one of the membranes in her body which disconnected the baby from the mother. This caused a part of the skin inside to rip which then caused the bleeding. In the end, because the baby was left with no form of oxygen, blood or food, he died. Also part of the reason was because he was barely even a baby barely going into 2-3 months of pregnancy. The doctor said this was partially due to the Fetus's abnormality and on top of that, stress.
Most of it really didn't make sense to me but I just really wanted to understand why this had happened and if I could somehow make it right again.
To say my mother was distraught is an understatement. However the things that happened after this were completely unfair. After a day in the hospital where my mom got treated we finally went home. My mother was quiet the entire time and I really didn't know what to say. I know this may sound bad as a daughter, but really what do you say to someone who's just lost an unborn child?
I was hoping maybe Phil would be able to comfort her, but turns out when we got home, he still wasn't there. I gave my mom some medicine told her I loved her and waited with her until she fell asleep. Normally she would have been concerned with where Phil was, but I guess this wasn't one of those times.
I went to bed early that night but couldn't fall asleep. I called Phil again but he didn't pick up. Now I was beginning to get angry, I called several times to no avail until I finally gave up.
Where the fuck could he have been?
At 2 am in the morning the answer was clear. He had been out with his baseball buds and was having a grand time. As soon as he stepped through the door I lashed out.
I did not try to keep my swearing at a minimum either.
"Where the fuck have you been?"
But of course he was so drunk off his ass that he didn't register the angry tone. I asked where he'd been and he said with his friends.
I'd honestly felt like I was talking to a teenager or my son, not a supposed 'father'. I yelled at him a bit more until he finally got his drive back and told me to literally shut the fuck up. That only made me angrier. I proceeded on to telling him about what had happened that day, and you know what the fucker said?
"That bitch killed my baby?"
I swear to god I wanted to kill him. Did he only care about the baby? Did he not get the pain that my mother had been through? And not only that, but to then blame it on her?
Fucking ass.
That's when he got really mad and I guess we caused a lot of commotion because then Renee woke up. As soon as she saw him, her eyes filled with tears, ran into his arms and said, "Oh Phil." And then sobbed.
Only Phil didn't let her do that, he pushed my mother off him and slammed her onto the couch.
"You little bitch. You killed my baby? How fucking stupid are you?"
"No Phil, please, it wasn't my fault..." She sobbed some more.
"Don't you yell are her. This isn't her fault. She had a miscarriage; this is no one's fault." I'd said to him. He turned to me and it honestly looked like he was going to yell at me hardcore. But instead he just slapped me.
I still remember how it had hurt. How it had stung, how my eyes had watered momentarily. But that's not what hurt the most. He then said, "Your mother's right, this isn't her fault, it's yours."
I was too appalled to even say anything. My head was swimming with anger, but I couldn't bring any of the words to my lips. This was Phil. This was the guy who was barely home with my mom.
Who had woken up in the middle of the night each day to get her what she wanted?
Who had gone out in the day to get her anything she wanted?
Who ploughed the malls relentlessly to find her exactly what she wanted?
It was me.
Not that mother fucker.
But what happened next was what made me hate my mother and Phil. She had spoken up and said "It's true." I had almost wanted to ask her to clarify what was true, but I already knew.
She thought it was my fault the baby died. I couldn't even begin to grasp how she could have thought that. After everything that I had done for her, she sided with her husband who had practically never been home during her pregnant stages.
This was when I left and went straight into my room and locked the door. After crying of outrage and despair for an hour, I knew what I had to do.
At 4 in the morning I called my dad, the real one. After 5 rings, dad finally picked up. He didn't sound very happy of being woken up so early, but when he heard my voice he knew something was wrong. After hearing his voice marked with care I began to cry all over again.
It was difficult to explain what had happened, but he got the gist of it. I was coming to Forks.
After hanging up, I packed all my necessary belongings and by 9 in the morning I was ready to go. I left a note on the table saying I was leaving.
I did not want to talk to them after what had happened, and to be honest I didn't think they deserved my time. I took a cab to the airport and by evening that day I had landed in Seattle. As soon as Charlie saw me he gave me one of his awkward one handed hugs, but it was okay, I knew what he was trying to say.
The ride to Forks was mostly filled with silence but that was partly my fault. I was exhausted from lack of sleep, and really I just wasn't ready to talk about everything yet.
In less than 24 hours, I had lost a potential sibling, gotten slapped by my "father" and got blamed for the death of the baby by my very own supposed mother.
Charlie seemed very happy about having me stay with him. What he didn't expect though was for me to ask him if he could enrol me in the local high school.
"Bells, I thought you just wanted some time to cool down, not actually go to school here. Are you sure you want to do this? I know you hate it here."
"Dad, I don't want to go back there. I can't live with people who think I've practically killed an unborn baby. Besides I'm pretty sure I'll just get in their way of healing. And no I don't hate it here, I have you dad." I said smiling hoping this would convince him to let me stay.
He didn't look convinced but he let it go.
In 2 weeks Charlie had become accustomed to the idea of me staying with him. He had enrolled me at Forks High and had even gotten me my very first car. Well more like a big old Red Fiery Truck, but I loved it. I couldn't have been happier.
Except for that little thing where my mom still hadn't' tried to talk to me once. I learned to let it go though.
My first day of High School was not the best. After the first 5 minutes there I knew this wasn't going to be good. I tripped stepping out of my truck slamming my head on my own window causing shrieks of laughter to erupt all around me.
The worst thing of all was that everyone knew who I was. Forks was a small town, and it became hot gossip when everybody found out the Chief of Police's daughter was coming back to live here for real. I could almost hear what they were saying.
"I heard the Chief's daughter is coming to school here now."
"Ooh, wasn't she living with his ex-wife?"
"I wonder what happened there."
"Haven't seen her since she was young. I must say, not the cleanest break in a relationship huh?"
"I'll say."
"I wonder what she's doing back here."
"Maybe something happened to the mom."
"I heard she got married to some rich hot shot."
"No way!"
"Maybe she hates him."
"Have you seen her yet?"
"Yea, she looks depressed. Do you think something happened?"
"Maybe the Chief finally fought for custody."
"Yea, I heard she hated Forks."
"He probably forced her to come here."
"I wonder what the mom said about that."
Well maybe that's not exactly how it went, but just saying. Not only did I trip out of my truck, I also stumbled on the stairs while going into the office to get my stuff.
I mean honestly, did these people not learn not to stare? Everybody stumbles once in a while on stairs, get over it. It seemed they couldn't though. And so for the rest of the day I had to endure people taunting me behind my back.
When choosing whether I'd rather stay here or go back to mom, I chose here. At least while I was here I had one loyal parent who wasn't accusing me of murder.
Sooner or later the bird name calling began, and that's how literally I spent my three years in Forks High, responding to bird names. They only friend I'd manage to make during my time at Forks was Jacob Black. The only reason for that was probably because he was my dad's best friend's son. Also because I knew him even before officially moving here.
Even though Jacob didn't go to Forks High, he soon became my best friend, and the only one I had. It made having to deal with life at school a lot easier.
It was the summer before Grade 12 that things changed again. My mom called me. This is where the depressing news came.
I remember crying that night because of our little talk. It wasn't even because she was yelling at me or accusing me at all, it was because the way she talked to me made it look like we hadn't had a three year fall out. The first thing she said was "Hey there Isabella, it's been such a long time since we've talked. How have you been honey?"
Do I need someone to help me point out what was completely wrong about that? I was too shocked to even respond properly. But by the end of the conversation she had told me all about her moving to California and how it was important for her, Phil and me to reconnect once more.
Somehow by the end of the conversation, I was to get a ticket to go to California and spend my last high school year there. I honestly don't even know how it happened; I was too appalled to truly think about it.
Telling Charlie was probably one of the hardest parts, but he agreed that I should probably rekindle my relationship with Renee once more. To be honest I was a bit ticked off that he thought that. I thought he was on my side, but in the end I agreed.
In a week I found all my things packed and stood at the airport with Charlie, Jacob and Billy. I could tell Jacob was really miserable about me leaving, but I couldn't do anything about it. I was going to miss him a lot; he was my sun in Forks. However I really didn't want to make myself feel down all over again.
In the end Charlie and Billy gave us a few minutes to ourselves. I could tell both of them were conspiring with the thought of me and Jacob getting together, but there was no way that was going to happen. I liked Jacob and everything, but definitely not in that way.
After a heartbreaking goodbye, I was on my way to San Francisco, California.
On the plane, I just couldn't stop myself from singing the song, "If you're going to San Francisco".
If you're going to San Francisco
Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair
If you're going to San Francisco
You're gonna meet some gentle people there
...
If you come to San Francisco
Summertime will be a love-in there
After what seemed like forever, the wheels of the plane hit the ground and my body tingled with anticipation. Was she going to be happy to see me? Was Phil going to be there? Did she still blame me?
I took a deep breath, got up and hoped for the best.
Seeing my mom definitely was emotional but I didn't show it. She hadn't changed at all. She looked the same as she had 3 years ago.
When she saw me she ran and gave me a big hug, and Phil said "Hey there Kiddo, haven't seen you in such a long time. How have you been?"
Honestly, what happened to these people? It was a complete 360 and I wasn't sure how to react to it. So I just went with the flow trying not to show my confusion.
On the way to the house we talked about the past 3 years, how school had been, about my friends, or correction, how my friend was. Not once did we mention anything about the summer I left. It was sort of like a tabooed subject and I was not going to be the first to touch it.
The house was gorgeous and immediately went to my room to settle in. I took a bit longer than necessary just to clear my thoughts and create my action plan. I don't know what had happened during these three years, but it was as if the whole death of a baby was forgotten.
Dinner that night was full of stories and faked laughter. After eating I felt congested by their very presence and used the excuse of jet leg to go to bed early. I couldn't stand sitting with them so normally. It was like I was sitting with strangers, not my mom.
There was a week before school started and I spent the entire time keeping myself busy.
I was really happy when I found out that the school was one hour away, and that I'd be living on campus with all the other kids. This meant that I wouldn't have to be spending every day with these complete nut cases.
That was when I began studying. Not silly things like math or science either, but how to become the new 'it' girl. I was going to go from Ugly Duckling to beautiful majestic Swan.
I got everything that I could get my hands on. I got books, DVDs, Magazines, websites, you name it. I had it. I watched every movie that was even remotely close to the subject of popularity. Mean Girls, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Pretty in Pink you name it. They were all the same. Be cute, witty, dress well and having good hair works.
I practiced cute expressions in the mirror but trying to not look like I was posing at the same time. It was a lot work, but I definitely think I made some progress.
The last thing that I decided to work on was my wardrobe. Back in Forks it felt fine to wear sweats but this had to change. And that would be why I found myself in a mall the weekend before school started.
Could you tell I saved it for last? Shopping really wasn't my thing, but I was going to put an effort into this. Mom had always wanted me to be more girly and when she found out what I was doing, she immediately involved herself with me.
I definitely minded but then comforted myself with knowing that this was the last weekend and I probably wouldn't be seeing her much.
So I let her herd me around the mall to all the must have stores and let her spoil me. It was the least I could do. She even suggested that I get a haircut, and in the end I had to admit, I looked good.
They had recommended that I change my hair colour from brown to streaks of blond, but I refused. I liked the colour of my hair, and going blonde just meant I'd look more like my mom.
In the end, I had cute bangs, choppy layers sticking out all over my head, but in a way it looked really good. Super model good. There was no way I was putting this in a pony tail like I usually did.
At the end of the day, I had packed for school, practiced my cute little expressions again, went over everything that I had written in my little journal and then looked at myself in the mirror.
Isabella Marie Swan was ready. Smiling wide I knew I was going to make this work out and nothing was going to stop me.
You go Swan.
First I'd just like to mention a few things. I have absolutely no knowledge of miscarriages or how they work at all. I just sort of winged it, let's hope it made a bit of sense.
Secondly, I do not own the song "If you're going to San Francisco", it is by Scott McKenzie which was released in 1967.
Third, I realize this chapter was kind of rushed, full of information, some useless, I promise in the future, this will become more fun. Just had to get most of the background/boring stuff out there first. :P
Fourthly, (long list.. sorry) I'd just like to say again that the Characters due in fact belong to Stephenie Meyer, not me except for my own creations that will come later on in the story.
Fifth I hope you guys like it so far and will hopefully tune in for the next chap. :)
Any concerns/questions/comments, you know what to do :)
Sixth, I realize 'My First Kiss Went A Little Like This' is a long title, so from now on I'll probably refer to it as 'MFK' (My first kiss).
Seventh, (LAST ONE) I did not have a beta for this, this was all edited and written by me. I'm currently working on finding a beta to make this better, so I hope you guys can be patient with my sloppiness and grammer errors.
That's all :) Now go on and explore the many other lovely fan fics on here.
Some of my favourites that I'd definetely recommend are:
Edward Wallbanger - Feathersmmmm
Take the Ice - Bellamarie117
This is not my life - Isakassees
Hit By Destiny - ocdmess
The Foreign Hottie - humiex3
I'll stop there, every chap I'll add a few more :)
Have fun reading my sweets.