Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, I only wish I do. I don't own any of the characters from Doctor Who. The Thirteenth Doctor and Jenny are, however, my own inventions. Anyway, here's my first chapter of my first story. Please review.

Rose Tyler minced along the streets of London, terrorising little old ladies with her horse-like smile. She pranced into the hallway of the Torchwood building.

"HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Mr Cybes!!!!!" Rose screamed into the ear of the elderly receptionist, who had been partially cyber- converted a few years ago.

"YOU- WILL- BE- DELETED!"

"That's just what I say to myself every morning, Mr Cybes! A positive outlook makes the world go round!!!"

Just then, Captain Jack walked into the hallway.

"ROSE! MY LITTLE LOVEBOOB!!" he cried in his excruciating accent.

"JACK!! MY BIG CUDDLY ARSE!!!" Rose threw her arms around her fiancée. Since she had discovered an alternate Jack in this universe, she had known where her future lay. They walked into the hyper-lift together, Jack limping a little, as he had been since he started the affair with Mr Cybes.

When the hyper- lift reached the level where Jack spent most of his time, they emerged. They found themselves inexplicably on a very draughty rooftop.

"Just why do you spend all your time on a rooftop?" Rose asked, which was really a very intelligent question for an idiot chav.

"I'm waiting."

"Then wait no longer! Let's do it now!!"

"NO! not waiting for that! Put your clothes back on, woman. I'm waiting for that..." His arm unfurled itself, pointing towards the corner of the rooftop where a large blue box stood.

"What, Jack, my revoltingly sweet guy? All I see is the TARDIS." Jack waited patiently for the sensory messages to make their way from the eyes to the tiny piece of grey fluff Rose called a brain... "THE TARDIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed into the American's ear.

"Yes, my lovely." Jack whined. "Since you told me about your travels with the Doctor in your native universe, I've been attempting to lure- er, I mean- persuade the Doctor to come to this universe. And here he is!! This morning the signal went off to say he had arrived! I-"

But there was no time for more, as Rose had launched herself at the TARDIS doors. At that precise moment, a tall, bored looking man in a long black coat opened the doors and watched with disinterest as the screaming blonde chav whizzed through the doorway and smashed into the TARDIS console beyond.

She passed out.

The thirteenth Doctor brushed an imaginary speck of dust from his tartan waistcoat, and strode forward to meet Jack.

"AHA! I have it! Captain Jack still alive- Rose Tyler knocking herself unconscious all over the place- clouds that look like George Washington- I KNOW WHERE WE ARE!!!"

"Then can I come out NOW?" asked an irritated voice from inside the TARDIS. "Of course, Jenny! In fact, now there is a chav in my TARDIS, it's safer out here than in there!"

Jenny emerged. Taller than Nyssa, brighter than Harry, prettier than Romana, and generally nicer than Jack or Rose, Jenny was pretty much the thirteenth Doctor's ideal companion, as she managed to (somehow) put up with his bad moods. "Alrighty, Doctor, what's going on?"

Jack hopped forward on his good leg, wielding a flashing neon sign saying 'Want to go out with me?' "Well, little lady, I drew you here with my super TARDIS summoner!"

"What utter nonsense!" The Doctor butted in. "You stupid time agent, I came here on purpose! As if anything an American built would actually work! And put down that sign, before Jenny has to put on her "Not a chance, bog off" T-shirt."

"Doctor..." growled Jenny in a threatening tone."WHY and HOW are we in the alternate universe? I thought that was impossible? And aren't you being a little mean to Americans?"

"Soz, Jenny," the Doctor said, turning to her with a smile no- one could be angry with. "I really must remember that most Americans are nice people, especially the scantily clad botanists. However, a few Americans are IDIOTS, like Jack here."

Jack thought it was time to speak out. "HEY! I thought you liked Jack- er, me- the other Jack, from your universe!"

"Yes, sometimes- but not you! That's why I've come here! Because Rose told you about her adventures with the less intelligent me, you now possess the knowledge and the capacity for a spate of evil time- travelling crimes! I'm here to stop you!"

Jenny could stand this no longer. "HIM?" she said incredulously. "A criminal mastermind?"

"Afraid so, Jenny! Stay away- he only wants to get his hands on your assets!"

With a stony face, the annoyed girl turned to face her mentor. "Doctor" she hissed. "That was a truly AWFUL piece of innuendo."

"Terrible but true, m'dear. WATCH OUT!!!!!!!" the Doctor yelled as he shoved his companion out of the path of the laser blast that had just emerged from the barrel of the gun that Jack was holding. (What a long sentence, thought the Doctor.)

"Enough of this prattling!" Yelled Jack.

"Uh-oh" groaned Jenny, picking herself up off the ground. "He uses words like 'Prattling.' He MUST be a villain."

Just then, the hyper-lift doors opened, and out marched Mr Cybes, flanked by two Ice Warriors, the security of the Torchwood building. The Ice Warriors raised their arms, on which rested their sonic destroyers.

"DESSSSSTROY!!" They roared.

Grinning wickedly, Jack strode over to the TARDIS. "My dear Doctor, this was easier than I thought. But sadly, now you must die." His hand resting on the handle of the TARDIS door, Jack raised his laser...

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oooh, the suspense!